These Four Words

“Ms. Taylor?” I stopped tapping my newest pair of Minelli shoes and looked up to see my assistant, Annabelle, looking at me with wide eyes.

“Yes?” I leaned back in my leather chair with a small frown on my face. I had a lot of work to do between now and this afternoons meeting and even though we had all just gotten back from our three day holiday, the fashion world just doesn’t sleep. I was behind.

“There is a guy here to see you.” My heart froze, racking my brain of who it could be. When I moved to New York years ago, I changed everything about myself. I went platinum blonde, gained 10 pounds to give myself a figure, and changed my name to Ophelia. I did everything to erase Erin Taylor from history.

I tried to remain clam on the outside, “Did he mention his name?” I stood up smoothing out my Kate Spade dress.

“No,” Annabelle looked as uncomfortable as I felt on the inside.

“Well unless he as an appointment I am busy,” I moved towards the window of my office. It had a wonderful view of Midtown. Seeing the hustle and bustle of the Garment District.

“He is very persistent, Ms. Taylor.” She was nervous and I felt bad for her, but we all had to work our way up the ladder.

“Well tell him he can see me if and when he has an appointment. Until then I am very busy, we have spring fashion week coming up soon and I am swamped.”

“Yes, Ms. Taylor.” She turned on her heel and left to go deal with the mess in the lobby. I sighed and leaned against the wall. Ever since I left LA it has been an uphill battle to get my life together and when all the pieces finally come together it would be ruined by whoever was probably causing hell in that lobby. When I first moved to New York I had a thousand dollars to my name. I found a shabby apartment with three other roommates and a job that barely covered my rent but I was doing what I loved. It took me those entire three years to become okay with myself and what I looked like, with what had happen to me in my past, and what I had did to Alex. Oh Alex, there wasn’t a day that went on that I didn’t miss him. I heard all of the songs he wrote about me, and when I heard he was engaged I had to see it for myself. Which was probably the worst idea I had ever made. I risked so much of my hard work for those three minutes to see him in person. Going to his concerts were less dangerous.

“Ophelia?” I snapped out of my daze to face my best friend and my co-worker, Alexis.

“Hey Lexi,” I smiled walking back over to my desk.

“What’s going on?” She sat down on one of my gold chairs in front of my desk.

I sighed, “I don’t know.”

She frowned leaning forward. “You haven’t been the same since Christmas. You didn’t even show up to my New Year’s party.”

“I know Lexi and I am sorry. Just there is some stuff in my pass that is coming back to haunt me.”

Alexis leaned back with a smirk on her face, “Oh honey we all have crap in our past that we would want to keep hidden but the best advice I can give you is what Kate Spade told me ‘when life gives you lemons, make lemon cello.’ When life throws you crap make something out of it.” I nodded taking it all in. Alexis stood up, “you’ll figure it out girl. Lets go out and get drinks tonight.”

“I don’t know,” I nervously played with my necklace.

“Okay sounds good, meet me at Stella around 10.” She winked and walked out of my office as Annabelle walked right back in.

“Yes?” I raised my eyebrow and sipped my peppermint latte.

“He wanted me to give you this note.” She set down a piece of copy paper before walking out.

You are a very hard woman to track down. Meet me today for lunch at the deli down the street.

Fuck.



I walked briskly down the avenue partly because I was late, which is nothing new, and partly because it was close to forty degrees out. I was nervous who this mystery guy was but I was prepared. I was prepared for it to be Alex and I was prepared for it to be Kyle, but when I walked into the deli I was not prepared for it to be John.

I laughed nervously, “John?”

“Ms. Erin Taylor,” he smirked letting on that he knew my little secret of my name change. “Please take a seat,” he gestured towards the empty seat across from him.

“So how can I help you?”

“Coffee and sandwiches first, questions later.” He leaned back smiling.

“My time is very precious.” I tapped my foot impatiently.

“Too precious for a turkey club on wheat, that is still your favorite sandwich right?” I looked at him curiously.

“Yes and my coffee black—“

“With two sugars,” He finished. I sat back astonished that he knew my favorite sandwich and how I liked my coffee. He returned a few minutes later with two sandwiches and two large coffees. He set down the food in its respective places.

“So?” I raised my eyebrow waiting for this meeting.

“You can’t even let a guy eat first?” He asked laughing and I raised my eyebrow. “Okay, okay. I got curious about you after I saw you at Alex’s engagement party and I did my research. I just knew that you looked so familiar but I never thought you would be the girl that completely wrecked Alex.”

My heart was in pieces, “John that’s not fair.”

He held up his hand to stop me, “I’m not here to judge you.”

“What are you here for then? You aren’t going to tell him where I am, are you?”

He shrugged taking a bite out of his sandwich, “I honestly don’t know yet. There must be a good reason why you left him, moved cross-country, and change your name.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well that’s bullshit. You walked out of a perfect life and a happy marriage to a great guy, I just want to know why.”

“I can’t tell you why,” I looked at him with tears in my eyes and I could see John’s demeanor change.

He sighed, “Can you at least tell me if you are alright now?”

I nodded my head, “I’m getting to a point in my life were I make myself happy and hopefully I’ll be able to find love like Alex and I had.”

“Are you ever going to tell him?”

“Tell him why I left?”

“Yes,” He leaned forward waiting for my answer.

“I don’t think Alex ever wants to see me or hear from me ever again and I do not blame him.”

“I think it would give him closure.”

“It’s been three years.”

“And he still writes about you everyday.” I looked up shocked.

“He has a beautiful fiancé,” I was confused.

“That hates it when he writes about you.” I smirked looking away. “You can’t hind yourself away forever.”

“I’m not hiding from him.” I deadpan and realize I gave up too much already. “Look I have to get back to work, thank you for lunch.” I stood up grabbing my coffee but leaving my untouched sandwich.

“Erin wait!”

“Yes?” John stood up and took a step closer to me. “Can I see you again?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, maybe I’m attracted to you, maybe I’m intrigued, or maybe I want to know why you walked out of my friends life. Either way, what do you say?”

I contemplated it, “Maybe.” I turned on my heel and headed back into the frozen tundra of the Garment District.



“Bitch you are late!” Alexis screamed jumping up from her bar seat causing the mass of boys she has attracted already to stop and look at me. Some nodded their heads in approval but most just turned their attention to Alexis’ behind. I wanted to roll my eyes. Boys are all the same.

“What’s new?” I smirked giving her a hug.

“I’m so happy you showed and you are wearing the newest BCBG dress, I like.” I smiled extending my arms out so she could get a better look at my lacy long sleeved and skintight dress. “So did you find out who the mystery man was?” She asked while escorting me back to her table.

“He is irrelevant.”

Alexis raised her eyebrow, “So are you ready to mingle?”

“I’m ready for a dirty martini.”

“I think I can assist in that,” I turned around to see a very tall and handsome man standing behind me. He was wearing a very nice suit and had no visible tattoos, so he was already not my type but I still wanted a free drink.

“Oh can you,” I flirted back. “I’m Ophelia.” I held out my hand and he took it bringing it to his lips to give me a tender kiss. I held back a laugh.

“I’m Christopher Ryan, but you can call me Cris.” He smirked singling for the waiter to come over. “The pretty lady will take a very dirty martini and I will have a scotch neat.” The waiter nodded promising to be back soon.

“A man who knows what he wants.” I nodded in mock approval.

“Well of course I know what I want, and I want you.” I froze in my spot and the waiter picked a very good time to interrupt with our drinks. I grabbed mine quickly and took a large sip.

“I am not a prize to be won.”

“You are one of the most eligible bachelorettes in all of Manhattan and I want to be the guy who sweeps you off your feat.”

I couldn’t hold back my laugh this time, “I’m sorry but that is just ridiculous.”

“How so? You are beautiful and intelligent. You are close to becoming senior vice president of Vogue; you have your life together, and you are posh.”

“Who says posh anymore?” I laughed.

“Sophisticated men,” He straightened his tie. He then proceeded to tell me about his law firm and how he was expecting to make partner soon, which I assume was supposed to impress me but it wasn’t. Christopher was trying to sit here and impress me with the amount of money he would make and his “purebred” life but the only thing that was impressing me was how narcissistic he was. I needed a guy who was just as much as a free spirit as I was. I needed a man who could make me laugh when I felt down about myself. I needed a man whose energy could electrify me. I needed someone like Alex. Fuck.

I sighed, “Hey Christopher,” I checked my watch noticing it was barely eleven o’clock. “I have a big board meeting tomorrow and I need to get going.”

“Is that an invitation?” He laughed loudly and I looked unimpressed. “I’m kidding.” He was not kidding.

“It was nice meeting you,” I forced out a smile.

“I’ll see you soon Ms. Ophelia Taylor.” I smiled and walked out of the bar, hopefully not too soon. I hailed a cab and told him my address getting comfortable for this twenty-five minute ride. I opened up my phone and dialed his number.

“Hello?” He answered sounding confused and drunk.

“So I have my answer for you,” I smiled.

“Do you now Ms. Taylor?” I could practically see the smirk on his face.

“Let’s do something this Saturday.”

“I know just the spot.”