These Four Words

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beep

I couldn’t take it anymore. I stood up and grabbed my phone on the coffee table, quickly glancing at it. More twitter notifications, from more angry fans.

Kyle, in true Kyle form, had leaked my story to the top fan sites of both bands. My story in full detail, leaving out his contribution to this mess. Meaning I had hundreds of fan girls, from both sides of the fandoms, attacking me. I scrolled through the first few tweets that I saw.

She aborted Alex’s baby because she is a whore.

Erin also cheated on John with Alex. And before she and Alex were over, she hooked up with John on tour. Slut.

I heard she got fired from her job at Vogue because she slept with a photographer, one that had a wife.

Erin Taylor is a cheap band whore. Why is she even relevant?

I kept the tears at bay. This wasn’t event the worst of them. The angry mob had found my name within two hours of Kyle releasing the story ‘anonymously,’ my background information in three, and where I lived within five hours. I was currently camped out in some shitty bed and breakfast in New Jersey, since the crazy fan girls had threatened to kill me the minute I left my apartment. I had single-handedly became the most hated woman in New York City over night.

After loosing my two closest friends.

And my job.

I was quite impressed with how quickly life turned upside-down for me. I sighed and the beeping began again, informing me that new tweets were being sent out. More hate mail. The hotel phone rang and I jumped in surprise. I hoped to God that those psychos didn’t find my hotel this fast. I was growing quite found of the miss-matching floral sheets and moldy shower tub.

“Hello?” I asked as soon as I picked up the rusty phone.

“Erin?” Steven’s voice sounded relieved. “Your phone has been giving me the busy signal all day.”

I looked over at my phone that was still blowing up with notifications and sighed. “I think my phone is going into shock.”

“We have been so worried.” I could hear June scold me in the background like I was a child. “We tried calling your apartment complex but they said you had to be evacuated days ago! Why didn’t you let us know?”

“I didn’t think it would last this long,” I told them honestly. "Plus I didn't need y'all to worry about me."

“Maybe you should come home.” Steven persuaded me. “You need your family in a time like this.”

I took a deep breath. “How did you guys find out?”

“That fucker Kyle, I swear when I get my hands on him.” I hear June shout and I refrained from laughing. June seemed way to sweet to beat up a monster like Kyle. It was comical to imagine, five foot nothing June taking a swing at five-foot-seven Kyle.

“Let me guess, he tried to act like he was helping me out?”

“Came to the door and tried to break the news to us first, before we saw it in the papers.” I could practically hear Steven roll his eyes. “So I broke his noise.”

I gasped. “No you didn’t!”

“Threated to shoot him if he didn’t leave you alone too!” June added.

“Steven,” I mumbled touched. "You shouldn't have."

“Don’t even start. I wish you would have told me about the trouble he caused sooner.”

“You are my baby brother,” I urged. “I am supposed to protect you, not the other way around.”

“Sometimes we all need a little help.”

“Yeah,” I took a deep breath trying to sooth my emotions. “I guess we do.”

“So are you going to come here for a while? I can promise you that Kyle wont bug you.”

I thought about it. I knew that there was nothing left for me here. New York City was my dream for so long. This was my city. I thrived here. I figured out so much about myself in this city, but I don’t think there was anything to go back to. I had gambled it all and I lost. “No I don’t think so.” Orlando had stopped becoming "home" a long time ago. It was time for me to move, but to where?

“Erin I don’t think its good for you to stay there.”

“I don’t think so either but Orlando isn’t my home anymore. It never was.”

There was a long pause while Steven digested my words. “Where are you going to go then?”

“I think I’m going to go backpacking.”

“Backpacking? Erin you aren’t a teenager anymore. You can’t just leave and go backpacking!”

“Why not?” I bit back. “I’ve always wanted to visit Thailand and Bali. I don’t have a job or a boyfriend, nothing holding me back.”

“Whom are you running from?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I am talking about, Erin. You always do crazy shit like this when you are afraid. So what is it this time?”

“Steven, you are overstepping your boundaries.” I warned him.

“No, I’m sick of my sister constantly leaving her family behind. What if something happens to you in Asia? Huh? What are you going to do then?”

“Steven—“

“Who is it?”

“I love them both.” I admitted to him.

“No you don’t.” He told me. “You love one more, you are just afraid to admit it because when you admit it, there is no going back.”

When did Steven become so intelligent? I miss the days when he was denser than wood. I could literally get away with anything around him since he was oblivious to anything and everything. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way anymore? They both walked out of my life a week ago. I ruined it."

“It is no longer up to them, whatever happens is in your hands this time around.”

"Erin, honey." I heard June coo from the other side of the phone. "If they both love you like they claim they do, you didn't ruin it."

I thought about it. Was there still a chance that they both still had feelings for me? I glanced back at my open laptop and saw the Asia booking up. Four months of my life in Asia. Was I ready to leave it all behind?

“Erin? You still there?” Steven asked with worry laced in his voice.

“Yeah,” I cleared my throat. “I am still here.”

“So who is it going to be?” He paused. "Alex or John?"