These Four Words

His mop of curly brown hair cascades down his face as his father ran after him. My three year old giggled when he was finally caught. I sat on my porch with a soft smile on my face, slowly rubbing my very pregnant belly. The large diamond on my left hand caught my attention and my smile got even bigger. I thank the lord everyday that I was happily married to my best friend for four amazing years.

“Mommy!” My three year-old shouted while he ran towards me.

“Yes sweetie?” I tried to lean down to be at his eye level, but my stomach was way too big.

“When is sissy going to be here?” He asked looking up at me with his big green eyes.

“Soon baby, very soon.” I smiled as John walked up behind him. He leaned down and picked up John Jr. before leaning over and giving me a kiss on my cheek.

“I love you.” I told him.

“I love you much, much more.” He responded before going back to play with our child.

When Steven asked me that question five years ago, John was the first one to pop into my head. I guess I owe Kyle for telling the boys about my mistake in order for me to realize that Alex wasn’t the guy for me. I had fallen out of love with him a while ago and it took him leaving me to realize that. It was always supposed to be John. I fell in love for John without even realizing it. I was blinded by my desire to please everyone, too blinded to realize what was slipping through my fingers.

The minute I realized that I did love him, I ran to him. Canceled my flight to Asia and changed it to Arizona. I surprised him at his mom’s house and two hours later he proposed. I told him no, at first, but every day thereafter John asked me to marry him. Finally, after a month I said yes. We married three months later, July 17th in a beautiful garden. John wrote me a song; it later made the billboard top 10. The band took off tenfold after their seventh album. They toured a bit until our John Jr. was born. Ever since then John had spent time focusing on his poetry books. John and I had invited Alex to our wedding and even though he didn’t show, he still sent us a very sweet letter wishing us the best in life. From what I have heard from John, Alex settled down with a beautiful soul. Her name was Penelope and she was also a musician.

Because I had decided to abort all those years ago, it took me a while to get pregnant. We were scared that we would never be blessed with a baby, and then I got pregnant with John Cornelius O’Callaghan VI. It was a surprise and a miracle. June and Steven were made the godparents, and they were ecstatic. I got pregnant with our second child a few months before John Jr. turned three, he tells me everyday how excited he is for his baby sister.

I do a little bit of freelance writing for magazines and newspapers. Shortly after I showed up on John’s doorstep, Anna had called me and offered my job back. She told me she would rather have me there putting in half the work I normally do than not there at all. She even offered me a huge bonus. I declined, obviously. John and I were good savers, so both of us doing temporary work didn’t hurt our finical situation. Shortly before John Jr. was born, we decided to move out to California and out of his mom's house. Lake Tahoe was our obvious pick since it was still a decent drive from Jenny’s house and an hour drive from LA for my work. We bought a large five bedroom five and a half bathroom house on the lake. I promised John that we would fill it to the brim with children. We still have plenty of time for me to fulfill that promise. The one that I will keep.

We were both happy. If you would have told me ten years ago that I would be happily married to the man of my dreams, with children, and a mortgage, I would have laughed in your face. I honestly didn’t even expect to make it to twenty-five. I do owe Alex my life. He saved me in that hospital, he gave me a second chance at life. I will always love him for that. However, John was the one who really made me live. He made me want to live me life without worries. He saved me from myself. He gave me an always.

Kyle was finally put behind bars when Caroline reported him for domestic abuse. Many more woman stepped forward to press charges on him for abuse and rape, myself included. Kyle is currently in prison serving 74 years in jail with no chance of parole.

I guess what the most important lesson I learned was that I can’t necessary change the world and make it perfect. I can, however, change my world. I was the author of my own story and I’ll be damned if I let someone write it for me.

“What are you thinking about?” John sat down next to me and started to rub my belly. It was a habit of his that I loved. We both looked at our little blessing who was chasing around a butterfly.

“You. Us. Everything.” I smiled at him.

“You are my everything.” He leaned forward and placed a kiss on my lips.

“You are my always.”