Breathing Under Water

I stared at the mountain of pasta before me and took a deep breath. I was pretty sure this was how people felt before they climbed Mount Everest. Picking up my fork, I looked over at Sean.

He was eating quietly and staring down at his plate. He looked uncomfortable. I felt quite the opposite.

Karen, (His Mom) was quickly turning into one of my favorite people. She required very little feedback to just sit and chatter. She talked about anything and was quick to smile.

I also really appreciated that she didn’t say anything about my weight. She was a soft, full figured woman and could have very easily made a comment. I was anticipating a, “Oh honey, eat some more. You’re only a little thing.”

She didn’t say a word about how thin I was though. She just enjoyed her own food and made enough small talk for everyone at the table. I found myself smiling back at her and joining into her conversation.

“These boys are so quiet,” Karen chided after a while. She nudged her husband playfully in the side.

“It’s a testament to your cooking!” Jack defended himself through a bite of chocolate cake.

“Oh, you are so slick,” Karen giggled. She was on her second glass of wine. So, she seemed to find quite a bit funny.

“How’s the cake?” I asked Sean. I had chosen not to have a piece. After scaling pasta mountain, I was so full that I was surprised I didn’t pop.

“It’s really good.” Sean said picking up another bite on his fork. “You want to try just a taste?”

I nodded and he held the fork out. Not thinking, I leaned in and took the bite without taking the fork. I let him feed me, in front of his parents…

“You are so cute together,” Karen almost shouted. “Remember when we were that cute, Jack?”

I felt my cheeks heat up and I pulled away from Sean. After swallowing the cake, which was delicious, I said, “ No, we’re not together. We just study together. Math isn’t Sean’s strongest subject.”

Karen gave me a very obvious wink and replied, “Sure thing, Lilly. Just watch out for him. Sean’s a charmer just like his father.”

“Can I please be excused to leave the table and die?” Sean asked as he tilted back in his chair. He stared up and the ceiling and not at anyone around him.

“Help me clear the table and then you can run away,” Karen said. She didn’t sound even a little sorry for embarrassing us both.

While Sean helped get the plates rinsed off and in the dishwasher, I went into the living room to gets things set up to study. It would be quiet. Jack was nice enough to move his TV watching to the upstairs bedroom.

We would be alone though. That shouldn’t have made me nervous. We had studied alone on the bleachers.

Maybe it just felt a lot more intimate because I was at his house. His mother has also called us cute together. That didn’t help.

Neither did thinking about that he called me, Little Red. It sounded like an affectionate nickname. Or one that was meant to annoy someone.

He hadn’t said it in a mean way though. Sean said it with a big smile on his face as he looked down at me. Hopefully he wasn’t getting any ideas about our relationship.

I rubbed the goose bumps on my arms. Despite my big sweater, I was getting chills. I told myself that I was just a little cold, but that didn’t explain why my heart was suddenly racing.