‹ Prequel: Hell Above
Status: Infrequent updates...
Convalescence
I
1/23/15
“So how are we feeling today?” Lizzie asks, leaning back in her rolling chair to look over her patient.
He looks up from his lap in response to her voice, a small smile pulling onto his lips as he quips, “Y’know, I think that’s the most stereotypical question you've ever asked me.”
The therapist simply rolls her eyes, watching on as Alex shifts into a more comfortable position on the small loveseat adjacent to her desk. “To be honest, I feel like shit.” He admits, sliding down so that he’s lying on his back lengthwise across the cushions.
Lizzie hums in response, pulling open the man’s file to leaf through its contents as she awaits more detail. Her eyes skim over her own pen scrawl, abbreviations standing out amongst the early notes and dates written in the margins.
“I don’t understand what’s wrong with me.” Alex speaks up then, sighing in frustration before elaborating, “I mean, it’s been months and I’m almost entirely recovered, right? So why can’t I just get past this?” He asks.
The woman considers the question, clarifying, “You’re talking about your sex life now, correct?” and waiting for a confirming nod from the man before replying.
“Well, you’re actually doing much better than you give yourself credit for. But, you know yourself better than I do; is there something that you’re still holding back about that night?”
Alex closes his eyes, bringing his arms up to cover his face as he debates Lizzie’s question. It’s just past the 13th month mark since it happened, and though he’s been seeing her for more than half a year at this point, there are still some things Alex hasn't told Lizzie outright. He knows he’s come a long way since beginning therapy, but he also wants to be able to be intimate again without feeling like he’s drowning.
“It’s okay, you know, if you’re still not ready to talk about whatever it is.” The therapist reassures after an extended silence between them. She understands the complexity of Alex’s case, and knows that he has to come to terms with what happened at his own pace, no matter how long it takes.
-
Alex leaves Lizzie’s office with the knowledge that he’s gained two pounds, another step in the right direction as the therapist likes to put it. He has a folder detailing what his ‘homework’ is for the upcoming week, containing whatever project Lizzie wants him to complete before their next session.
He meets Jack at the front of the building, where the younger is laid out with a magazine on one of the two lounge sofas that are supposed to be designated for waiting patients, though since Alex’s appointments are always Lizzie’s last of the day, no one else is ever there at that time.
Jack looks up when Alex clears his throat, asks how it went today, and Alex tells him he gained more weight instead of actually providing an answer. The darker haired man smiles a bit, standing up and stretching to ease the tightness in his muscles from staying in the same position for two hours. He reaches out for his boyfriend, mumbling a congratulations against the elder’s shoulder before pulling away.
-
5/19/14
Apparently waking up in a hospital bed is supposed to put things in perspective for you; make you realize how badly you’re fucking yourself up, and understand where you went wrong.
It didn't for Alex.
He wakes up disoriented, muscles heavy and aching. He wakes up pissed off.
Vinny is by his side in an instant, face contorted in worry and hands moving to get the blond to lay back down as soon as he attempts to sit up. The Italian is too in his face for his current state to accept, resulting in several incoherent threats being tossed at the man as Alex pushes him away.
After a few seconds Vinny ceases his pestering, ultimately failing in his mission to keep the blond lying down.
Alex scans the room, eyes coming to rest on Jack who’s stood in front of the window a few feet to his right. The younger is looking back, face completely blank.
“How are you feeling?” Vinny asks from beside him, having returned to the chair at the bed’s left.
“Fine.” Alex replies immediately, though he’s not too sure. He doesn't consider it though or turn his attention rightfully to the Italian. He doesn't break the stare-down he’s currently having with Jack, just continues to glare at the younger from his bed.
Jack folds his arms across his chest, muttering just loud enough for the other two men to hear, “Yeah, I’m sure you’re just peachy.”
“Jack don’t –” Vinny warns, but Alex is quick to speak over him.
“What’s your fucking problem? I said I’m fine.” Alex asserts.
Jack opens his mouth, intending to argue back, but refrains as soon as the door opens and Jordan steps into the room.
The nurse pauses briefly, sensing the awkward atmosphere between the other three men as all eyes turn to him. He steps forward, taking the clipboard off the end of Alex’s bed and meeting his, now conscious, patient’s eyes. “Hey, Alex. I don’t know if you remember me, I was your tech when you were here before.”
The blond nods, “Yeah, I remember. Jordan, right?”
Jordan nods in confirmation, moving to sit by Alex’s feet at the end of the bed. The blond is almost positive that’s against some type of hospital code, but he doesn't voice this.
“How are you feeling?” Jordan asks, head lowered as he reviews Alex’s patient chart on the clipboard now placed in his lap. He turns his wrist to read the time off his watch and then unclips the pen from the board, scribbling down what Alex presumes is the time he came to.
Alex doesn’t reply right away, debating if he should admit defeat and answer honestly or not. He settles for, “I don’t know.” When the nurse turns his head to raise an eyebrow at him, he tacks on, “Uh, I feel kind of … heavy.”
“Extremities, chest, head…?” Jordan prompts, tapping the pen lightly against the clipboard’s edge.
“Just, everywhere.” The blond decides, finally allowing the full extent of the situation to wash over him. He’s in the hospital. And though he knows exactly why, he has no idea how much the other three men know at this point. He doesn't even know how long he’s been here.
He glances over to where Jack is fleetingly. The younger is no longer looking at him though, instead he’s now standing with his back facing Alex, the lines of his shoulders visible through the thin tee pulled taut against his back.
“So how are we feeling today?” Lizzie asks, leaning back in her rolling chair to look over her patient.
He looks up from his lap in response to her voice, a small smile pulling onto his lips as he quips, “Y’know, I think that’s the most stereotypical question you've ever asked me.”
The therapist simply rolls her eyes, watching on as Alex shifts into a more comfortable position on the small loveseat adjacent to her desk. “To be honest, I feel like shit.” He admits, sliding down so that he’s lying on his back lengthwise across the cushions.
Lizzie hums in response, pulling open the man’s file to leaf through its contents as she awaits more detail. Her eyes skim over her own pen scrawl, abbreviations standing out amongst the early notes and dates written in the margins.
“I don’t understand what’s wrong with me.” Alex speaks up then, sighing in frustration before elaborating, “I mean, it’s been months and I’m almost entirely recovered, right? So why can’t I just get past this?” He asks.
The woman considers the question, clarifying, “You’re talking about your sex life now, correct?” and waiting for a confirming nod from the man before replying.
“Well, you’re actually doing much better than you give yourself credit for. But, you know yourself better than I do; is there something that you’re still holding back about that night?”
Alex closes his eyes, bringing his arms up to cover his face as he debates Lizzie’s question. It’s just past the 13th month mark since it happened, and though he’s been seeing her for more than half a year at this point, there are still some things Alex hasn't told Lizzie outright. He knows he’s come a long way since beginning therapy, but he also wants to be able to be intimate again without feeling like he’s drowning.
“It’s okay, you know, if you’re still not ready to talk about whatever it is.” The therapist reassures after an extended silence between them. She understands the complexity of Alex’s case, and knows that he has to come to terms with what happened at his own pace, no matter how long it takes.
-
Alex leaves Lizzie’s office with the knowledge that he’s gained two pounds, another step in the right direction as the therapist likes to put it. He has a folder detailing what his ‘homework’ is for the upcoming week, containing whatever project Lizzie wants him to complete before their next session.
He meets Jack at the front of the building, where the younger is laid out with a magazine on one of the two lounge sofas that are supposed to be designated for waiting patients, though since Alex’s appointments are always Lizzie’s last of the day, no one else is ever there at that time.
Jack looks up when Alex clears his throat, asks how it went today, and Alex tells him he gained more weight instead of actually providing an answer. The darker haired man smiles a bit, standing up and stretching to ease the tightness in his muscles from staying in the same position for two hours. He reaches out for his boyfriend, mumbling a congratulations against the elder’s shoulder before pulling away.
-
5/19/14
Apparently waking up in a hospital bed is supposed to put things in perspective for you; make you realize how badly you’re fucking yourself up, and understand where you went wrong.
It didn't for Alex.
He wakes up disoriented, muscles heavy and aching. He wakes up pissed off.
Vinny is by his side in an instant, face contorted in worry and hands moving to get the blond to lay back down as soon as he attempts to sit up. The Italian is too in his face for his current state to accept, resulting in several incoherent threats being tossed at the man as Alex pushes him away.
After a few seconds Vinny ceases his pestering, ultimately failing in his mission to keep the blond lying down.
Alex scans the room, eyes coming to rest on Jack who’s stood in front of the window a few feet to his right. The younger is looking back, face completely blank.
“How are you feeling?” Vinny asks from beside him, having returned to the chair at the bed’s left.
“Fine.” Alex replies immediately, though he’s not too sure. He doesn't consider it though or turn his attention rightfully to the Italian. He doesn't break the stare-down he’s currently having with Jack, just continues to glare at the younger from his bed.
Jack folds his arms across his chest, muttering just loud enough for the other two men to hear, “Yeah, I’m sure you’re just peachy.”
“Jack don’t –” Vinny warns, but Alex is quick to speak over him.
“What’s your fucking problem? I said I’m fine.” Alex asserts.
Jack opens his mouth, intending to argue back, but refrains as soon as the door opens and Jordan steps into the room.
The nurse pauses briefly, sensing the awkward atmosphere between the other three men as all eyes turn to him. He steps forward, taking the clipboard off the end of Alex’s bed and meeting his, now conscious, patient’s eyes. “Hey, Alex. I don’t know if you remember me, I was your tech when you were here before.”
The blond nods, “Yeah, I remember. Jordan, right?”
Jordan nods in confirmation, moving to sit by Alex’s feet at the end of the bed. The blond is almost positive that’s against some type of hospital code, but he doesn't voice this.
“How are you feeling?” Jordan asks, head lowered as he reviews Alex’s patient chart on the clipboard now placed in his lap. He turns his wrist to read the time off his watch and then unclips the pen from the board, scribbling down what Alex presumes is the time he came to.
Alex doesn’t reply right away, debating if he should admit defeat and answer honestly or not. He settles for, “I don’t know.” When the nurse turns his head to raise an eyebrow at him, he tacks on, “Uh, I feel kind of … heavy.”
“Extremities, chest, head…?” Jordan prompts, tapping the pen lightly against the clipboard’s edge.
“Just, everywhere.” The blond decides, finally allowing the full extent of the situation to wash over him. He’s in the hospital. And though he knows exactly why, he has no idea how much the other three men know at this point. He doesn't even know how long he’s been here.
He glances over to where Jack is fleetingly. The younger is no longer looking at him though, instead he’s now standing with his back facing Alex, the lines of his shoulders visible through the thin tee pulled taut against his back.
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oh hey look this is a thing again or still???