If I Lose.

I was in shock, Steve had explained everything to me and I was now sitting here trying to take it all in; pure utter shock. How can you hide that from someone? How can you do that to someone? How did Steve not go crazy?

Steve's hand rested on my shoulder and I involuntarily pulled my shoulder away, he gave me a sad look but all I could think about was the facts, the straight facts that everyone had lied to me. That everything I had felt for Steve was true, they were already there. That the annoyed feeling I got from Scarlet was because she caused this, that I used to dream of Steve dying in my arms every night.

I stared at my hands, they were still- no trembling, no shaking. Just still. My breathing was calm, my senses seemed hightened. It was like the world had slowed down just so I could take the time to process this, but it wasn't like that. Not really. I was just in shock and possibly having a panic attack along with it, I closed my eyes and heard Steve talking besides me, telling me how sorry he was and how he had nothing to do with them stealing everything. That it tore him apart.

Standing without warning, I walked out of his room in search of Tony; he should have been the one to tell me. Of all people it should have been him that was helping me through this, not that I didn't like Steves help. But Tony is my brother, siblings help each other.

Turning the corner I saw Tony talking with Thor, I walked past Thor and my fist connected with Tony's jawline; I had no idea where the anger had come from, but I wanted to beat Tony to a pulp. Before I could throw another blow Thor had my arms behind my back, pulling me to the ground and wrapping his wrist band of the hammer around my hands so I was forced to stay. I felt like a dog. Sit and stay.

"Amy, I know youre mad." Tony went on and I rolled my eyes, I was livid.

"Mad? Tony my mind was erased! You didn't even tell me, you didnt help me through it. Ask if I was okay, you just kept being Tony!" I kicked my leg out towards his ankle but missed "You never changed, you care only about yourself." I sent him a glare as he took a step back, placing his left hand in his pocket.

Pointing at me he spoke "That's not true, you know it." Moving around me he took a seat on the couch, typical. He would get comfortable while I was stuck on the ground, damn Thor and his hammer of justice.

Tony took a sip of his drink, "I did everything I could to protect you, keep you safe and out of this world. But no, captain save a lot came and convinced me to allow you to join. Its his fault." Of course Tony would pin his problems on someone else, that's what he always did.

"Shut up Tony," I spat as I tried to move in his direction, which wasn't fully working since I couldn't move. Thor had soon taken noticed and finally helped me out, "You think your better then everyone, but your not!" The tone of my voice raised as Steve came into the room, took him long enough. But before I could get another word in, veronica informer them of a HYRDA attack. Am attack that needed everyone, including me.

"She's not joining us." Tony pointed to me as he shoved a chip in his mouth, crunching while he walked past me avoiding my leg I tried to trip him with. "Captain, your input isn't needed. This is to dangerous." By then Thor had released me and I was now standing next to Steve, his arm around my waist to keep me from trying to kill my brother again.

"If it were up to me, I would train you to be an assassin like me," Natasha piped up as she entered the room wearing her gear, I gave her a smile and soon turned my attention to Steve. My hands resting on his chest, I hadn't noticed that he to was in gear.

His hand touched softly under my chin causing me to look up at him, a small smile on his face. "You know," he paused looking for the right words. "If it makes you feel better, I fell in love with you on our first dance." I gave him a soft smile and leaned forward towards his ear.

"Come back in one piece, we could have our last dance again." Pulling away from him I gave him a kiss on the cheek and saw that his cheeks were a bright color red, it was cute.

"Come on Steve." I heard Natasha who ushered Steve out of the room, leaving me to stand there and wait for him to come back.



The rain pattered against the window, I sat in the main hall just waiting for them to come back and it had already been several hours. I didnt know where they had to go but seeing as I calmed down, I wanted them back.

"Do you feel empty?" The words hit me like a ton of bricks as I spun around to see a man standing in the doorway, he wore a blue shirt with a jeans jacket over it. A baseball cap, blue jeans and black boots. His hands were stuffed into his pockets as he walked over to me, his voice sounding ever so familiar.

"Do I know you?" I asked as I watched his every movement.

He pulled his hands from his pockets and slowly sat down on the couch opposite me, removing his hat I stared at him. He looked so familiar, his metal hand glistened in the light. I felt a dull pain on the right side of my brain as I stared at him, slightly clentching my jaw.

"That pain, its you trying to remember and your body won't allow it." His voice was smooth with a hint of Russian at the tip of it. I leaned forward as I looked at him, blue eyes, chiseled chin. Sharp features and a built body, he was like Steve but different. "I could help you remember, if you let me." He leaned forward but off to the right a bit, causing me to narrow my eyes.

"Why do you want to help me?"

"Because none if them can, they will end up driving you mad. You think fucking Steve again will help, it won't." He spoke as he leaned back a bit, he probably knew they wouldn't be back any time soon, the reason being he was so calm.

Then it hit me, how did he know that? I leaned back as well and looked him over. He was smooth and had stealth, could he have been a friend of Steve? My head throbbed causing me to lean over, he just sat there watching me. "It hurts doesn't it?" He leaned forward and I looked at him. "I can teach you, help you." Pictures flashed before my mind as I closed my eyes, him walking down the street. Him in a cabin. My eyes opened and I looked at him, my head throbbing making me ready to pass out.

"Can Steve trust you?" I asked.

He tilted his head to the side, "I don't know." Slowly he stood up and held a hand out to me and I grabbed it allowing him to bring me to my feet.

"I need to leave them a note." I grabbed paper, "They need to know I'm okay." But before I could write anything, before I could touch the pen to paper; my whole world went black.