Remnants

Not again. Not AGAIN!
Rae Elvins threw her pencil, quite melodramatically, across the room from the comfort of her loft. She had been working on one short story for two weeks at that point, and she couldn't get it right. The frustration had been bubbling beneath the surface, working up a steady boil to anger, and bursting out through her eyes and mouth.

Her roommate glanced up from her Spanish textbook, once again seemingly unchanged by Rae's random outburst.
"Are you going to need that back?" She asked Rae, closing the book on her lap.
Rae unclenched the bundled part of the bed she had grabbed and the color slowly returned to her knuckles.
"Not right now. I need...I need a minute," She said, letting out a long breath to steady herself. She couldn't quite figure out why these bursts of anger had been hitting her so hard lately. They came in waves, strong and swift, but burning out quickly like a flame captured in a jar.

She proceeded to close her notebook, shelving it with the rest of her books, and climbed out of her loft. If anything, she needed a cigarette and a bottle of rootbeer. She needed to be outside where the weather was nice.
The semester was almost over, and her first year of college was on the verge of passing into the wind. She couldn't be more excited.
She grabbed her smokes from the desk, a lighter, her key card, and made for the outdoors.

The first breath of fresh air was received with a grateful air. She hadn't been outside for a couple of days, preferring to hole herself up in her room attempting to write and sleep. This slump had been stifling her as a person for longer than normal.
The smoking area was deserted, which she highly preferred. It seemed like anytime people were outside they were compelled to start up a conversation that required much thought. One could never start talking to students here without some sort of intellectual debate beginning and frankly, she couldn't tolerate that at this point in time.
She lit up a Turkish Royal, inhaling deeply on the first draw. The smoke filled her lungs, and the forceful intake of air steadied her. The anger had dissipated, but the fry on her nerves was still traceable.
The campus was lovely, as it always was when spring hit Indiana in full force. It was dotted with lovely, colorful trees that had been planted specifically for brightening the lives of the deteriorating college students that were housed there. It also added a delightful scent to the air, which inadvertently always made one feel at least a little bit better.

"How're you doing?" A familiar voice called out. Rae squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself not to crush out her cigarette and run inside. Instead, she slowly turned around from her perch atop the outdoor table to see her friend Drew sauntering up to the smoking area. She forced what she hoped was a believable smile and waved the hand holding her cigarette.
"You know, getting along. How're your finals going?" She replied amiably. Drew was a nice guy and certainly didn't deserve the shit show of emotions that she was feeling. She could fake it for a little while.
Drew took a seat on the bench on the opposite side of the table, taking the cigarette from behind his ear and lighting it. He only ever brought out one. It was too easy to sit outside with a full pack, blowing through them as conversation continued.
"They're alright. I only have three. Just trying to get through them."
"Yeah I only have a few papers to write and one Spanish final. I'm not terribly concerned," She replied. Mostly because I don't care , she thought to herself.

Drew brushed a piece of wispy sand colored hair away from his face. He was quite attractive, she noted once again. It was painfully difficult not to, especially considering his unbreakable persistence to take her out on a date.
She knew it was coming before he had even sat down. "So, listen..."
Here we go . She was already planning how to carefully and considerately let him down.
"...I was wondering if maybe you'd like to do something before the semester ends. I know we'll both be gone for the summer and I've asked you before, but a little stress reliever would do us both some good."
He looked down at the table, smoking his cigarette as a way to escape her eyes.
She cleared her throat after a drag. "That's really nice of you to offer, but I'm pretty busy with these papers, and honestly I'm just not looking to do anything except finish up and get home. I won't even be back next semester, you know. I'm transferring."
His head popped up at that. "You are?"
"Well yeah. I thought everyone knew. This just isn't the place for me, considering I'm a writing major and this is a STEM school. I should've known that when I accepted the offer here, but the campus was beautiful and I loved the atmosphere...etc," She explained.
Drew nodded, picking at his fingernails.
"That's a bummer. I really liked hanging out with you," He mumbled. Rae smiled at that. If nothing else, he was a sweet guy.
"I've really liked hanging out with you too. Maybe we can meet up at one of the festivals this summer. You're going to Electric Forest, too," She reminded him.
He smiled and nodded.
"Very true." He flicked his cigarette into the bushes and stood, stretching out. She wasn't sure if he actually needed to stretch or if he just wanted to show off what was underneath his shirt (which, admittedly, was pretty nice), but regardless he said nothing.
After half hearted good byes, he left to return to studying.

She had to admit that she felt better after that exchange. Her cigarette was finished as well, but she felt no desire to go back inside. She was suffocating in her dorm.
She pulled out her phone and her eyes widened.
How the fuck do I have seventeen messages. I just checked my phone like an hour ago !
This had been an ongoing problem that had only recently popped up.
All of them seemed to be about the same thing. There was a "darty" going on, a day party. Everyone was already there, avoiding their studying or celebrating another successful final. Or maybe trying to drown a negative grade.
Regardless of the reason, she felt that a few drinks might put her in a decent mood. She wouldn't mind a few rounds of pong or a fat bowl, either.
She shot a quick text back to Kennedy and hopped off of the table, prepared to get trashed before four in the afternoon.