Tonight the World Dies

It all felt so hopeless.

She didn’t think she could go another day fighting through the walkers, worrying if she would lose what family she had left, and the people who had become her family. It had been a miracle in itself she had stumbled across the prison and had found her aunt. It broke her heart that she outlived her little cousin, the girl she had sworn she would look out for if she ever had the chance to find her and her aunt again.

Along the way she had grown close to several survivors in her aunt Carol’s group, and they had died protecting her or from misfortune. When she first stepped foot here almost four months to the day, she had thought it would be okay. Her blue-green eyes found life again. Her small pouty lips stretched into a smile. She loved everything; the smell of the rain, the hot sun shining down, the beautiful woods they were surrounded by.

But now, the rain reminded her of tears, the sun was hot and reminded her of the terrifying and prickling anxiety she always felt, and the woods were like a mauseoleum. It brought nothing but sadness and anger.

“Kati?” she heard her name called.

“Yes?” she mumbled sleepily, opening one eye to see Daryl looking at her from the doorway of her cell.

“’s two thirty. Ya wanna take watch with me?” he asked.

“I’m tired. I’m sorry. Raincheck?” she replied, glumly.

She saw he was disappointed, but nodded and walked off. She and Daryl had become very close. He was one of her best friends now, along with Maggie and Beth. She looked up to Hershel like her own daddy, and her aunt Carol doubled now as her mother. She was growing close to Carl, looking at him like a little brother, and she adored Judy. She even found Merle Dixon, Daryl’s brother, growing on her.

She couldn’t bear the thought of losing them. Watching them die some monstrous, blood soaked death. And for what? For her, maybe? No. She wouldn’t do it.

She found her old diary she had brought with her for old times sake, and a pen.

“To whomever finds this note,

I can’t do this anymore. I was more than blessed to find you all, and to spend four wonderful months with you. After losing Lori, T, and thinking back on family and friends I have lost before hooking up with you all, its drained me. I feel tired all the time, and think that my best option is to throw in the towel before I become lunch for one of those petulant, miserable monsters we see on a daily basis.

To my aunt Carol; I love you to death. You are strong and brave, and I only wish I could be more like you. I will miss you and be waiting on the other side.

To Daryl; You are a great friend. You watch yourself out there, and keep my aunt safe. I will miss you more than you know.

To Beth and Maggie; you girls have become my sisters. I grew up an only child and deeply wanted siblings, and here you two are. I know you will make it. Just stay safe.

Grimes family; Thank you for taking me in and looking at me as family. I will miss you. Rick, you are a great poppa, keep it up and keep everyone safe. Carl, you watch out for everybody, especially your sister. Tell Judy goodbye for me.

Hershel; Please don’t try to save me. You took up the role as my Daddy and I could never be more thankful that you have. I am blessed to have known you and have you care for me like I was one of your girls.

To everyone else; thank you for watching my back, for keeping me safe, and for giving me a reason to hold on as long as I did. I love you all and will see you soon.

Kati.”

She left it on her bed before grabbing her pocket knife that was a gift from Daryl, and finding the boiler room. She looked around, feeling an unbearable lump forming in her throat. She had always heard it was ‘across the street, not down the road" when people talked of slitting open their veins. Or had it been down the road, not across the street?

She sat on the ground in the middle of the room. There was a small window that let the sunlight stream in, and she smiled through her burning tears. She would see the sun one last time before leaving this awful existence behind.

She dragged the knife across her left wrist, and gasped when she saw the blood streaming down her forearm. She grabbed the now slippery knife, trying to gash her right wrist, but couldn’t get a firm grasp. She thought she was as good as gone, anyway. She laid down, feeling sleep slowly overcoming her while her blood spilled to the ground.

Muffled voices filled the corriordor, and her vision began to grow dark. The last thing she saw was the door opening and someone screaming.

Kati woke up with her wrist feeling as if it was on fire. At her bedside sat Daryl and aunt Carol, looking extremely worried and exhasperated.

“I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone. Saw somethin’ in your eyes.” Daryl said, quietly.

“You think we’re going to let you go this easily? Never. How could you think to leave us, to leave me? After all we’ve been through…” Carol said, tears filling her saddened eyes.

“I can’t lose anyone else. I would rather die than lose another soul.” Kati mumbled, her bottom lip trembling.

“Do we have to put you on suicide watch?” Carol asked, wiping away her tears.

“Where am I? And no. I just need to be alone. This was my right. I don’t want to do this anymore.” Kati snapped, feeling angry and hurt.

“You ain’t leavin’ us, girl. Don’t give a damn how much you hate me or her or the world. You’re stuck with us ‘til the end, dammit.” Daryl snapped back.

“Fuck you. Fuck all of you. I’m going to my cell – ALONE!” she cried, and stumbled out of what looked to be Daryl and Merle’s cell.

She passed the throng of people she lived with. Some looked relieved, others looked sad and like they pitied her. Some whispered about her, and there were some who just watched her go up the stairs to her cell.

She calmly walked in, her heart hammering in her chest. Her wrist throbbed from the stitches, and her head hurt. She figured she hit her head somewhere along the line from the blood loss. There was blood in her bunk, and her cell had been torn apart. She climbed into her bunk, lying on her side and staring at the cold, bloodied wall.

She heard Carol and Daryl talking to others. Words such as “depression” and “fear” were thrown around. While some said their hearts broke for her, and they would watch over her.

She heard someone coming up the steps, but continued to stare at the wall. She felt as if the new lump in her throat would be the death of her. Her body twinged and she let the tears stroll down her pale cheeks, slightly sniffling and whimpering in the bed.

She felt someone get in beside her, and two strong arms slide around her waist. As she looked down, she saw a makeshift war arm, or so she called it, and knew it was Merle.

“What you think you’re doing, babygirl?” he whispered in her ear.

“N-n-nothing.” she stammered, trying to sound as if she hadn’t been crying.

“Mmm. This says otherwise.” he replied, running his fingertips along her stitches, making her wince.

“I don’t wanna see… an-anyone else… d-d-die.” She said, succumbing to her pain.

She felt Merle pull her body against his, her back right against his front, and she cried quietly. His one good hand sliding up and down her side. He remained quiet and let her do what she had to do. Once she had calmed down enough, she turned to face him.

He looked a little stiff and awkward, and she knew her crying made him uncomfortable. He forced a small smile when she looked at him, and she returned the smile. She leaned her body against his, not letting any space delve between them. He looked at her suspiciously, but didn’t move away. His good hand rested at the small of her back, gently rubbing while he kept both arms tight around her small frame.

“Thank you.” she said, looking from his blue eyes and down to his lips. They were so inviting at that point.

“You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart. No one should have to cry alone.” he mumbled, looking down at her pouty lips.

She crashed her warm lips into his, pressing them hard against his equally warm and soft lips. She moaned as his hand gripped her ass, pressing her body against his. His strong arms flexed as he slowly rolled on top of her, and her legs quickly opened and let his lower body rest between them.

As her tongue slid anxiously into his mouth, she could taste the liquor and what she could tell was cigarettes on his breath. His hand gripped her jaw, holding her tightly in place as he grunted, rubbing his lower body against hers. She could feel he was getting hard, and she really wanted to feel him drive his cock deep inside her.

He pulled away, already panting a little, and looked into her lusting eyes.

“You sure about this, babygirl?” he moaned in her ear. “We don’t have to.”

She reached one of her hands down between his legs and started to grab and rub his hardening cock, making him take in a sharp and jagged breath. “Yes, I’m sure. I want you, and I want you now.” she said in a seductive, quiet voice.

“As you wish.” he said, grabbing her hand and moving it away.

He pulled her tank top off, revealing a pink and white lace push-up bra. He looked from her full, perky tits and up to her inviting blue-green eyes.

“Damn, honey. Damn.” he said in a raspy, lust filled voice.

He ripped off her bra and threw it across the room with her top, and she began to slide off his unbuttoned shirt and then his wifebeater, leaving them both topless. She looked up in his eyes, her heart pounding as he kissed her lips gently as first, before rubbing his boner hard against her clothed pussy. She whimpered, moving back against him and gripping his shoulderblades. He pulled away with her bottom lip between his teeth, teasing her ever so slightly.

“How deep do you want it inside you, Darlin’?” he asked in a deep, throaty voice.

“As deep as possible,” she whimpered, looking up at him and biting her bottom lip.

“Nuh huh, baby, only I can bite those sexy lips.” he said, smirking.

She unbuttoned her jeans and let him slide them off, his nails dragging across the moist flesh of her leg on one side. She fumbled with the button on his, sliding them and his boxers down, eyeing his fully erect cock. Just as she was about to take his perfectly sized length in her hands, he held both of them above her head with his good hand.

“No touching, not until I say so.” he warned.

“Fuck…” she breathed as he tore off her white g-string, leaving her completely naked and vulnerable to him.

He looked up and down her body, scanning every curve and crevice. She looked from his blue eyes and down to his perfect shoulders, to his rock hard arms, and to his sculpted chest and stomach. She felt her body shake with anticipation, and she began to feel nervous under his watchful glare.

“You okay?” he asked, kissing her neck deeply and sucking on the sensitive skin, making her shudder and arch into him.

“Ye-yes, oh, God, yes.” she said in a shaky voice.

“Don’t worry little girl, Merle’s gonna take good care of you.” he winked, his lips covering hers and their tongues meeting in satisfied delight.

He grabbed her one thigh with his hand, letting her wrap her legs around his waist, and she felt his cock poking at her glistening entrance. He could tell she was already soaked, and impatiently waiting for him to take her.

He slammed his sizeable length inside her without warning, making her nerve endings go into overdrive and her to moan rather loudly. He slid his tongue deep into her mouth, gagging her as he picked up a good rhythm and kept ramming into her tight, wet pussy as hard as he could. She gripped his shoulders, moaning as their tongues locked and unlocked, sweat already beading along her breasts and down her stomach. She arched into him, not letting a sliver of space come between their aching bodies.

“God, Merle!” she cried, whimpering as she bucked her hips into his.

“Mmm babygirl, hold on tight.” he said, looking down into her eyes as he slid out fully and reentered her even slower, letting her feel every thick and hard inch of him.

Her body shuddered, and she felt as if her heart was going to burst. She ran one of her hands along his chiseled jaw, their eyes locking as he began to pound her g-spot and his fingers played with her clit. Her eyes widened and she could feel she was about to come. The aching pressure that felt so painful yet so good at the same time.

He tossed her onto her stomach, his body resting atop of hers and one of his arms around her waist.

“It’s okay, baby. I ain’t letting you go.” he moaned in her ear.

“Merle, fuck. I think I… I think…” she babbled, her eyes shutting tight and her hot cum drenching his stiffened cock.

“That’s it, babygirl. I’m almost there.” he said, smacking her ass.

She moaned his name as he relentlessly pounded into her raw and swollen pussy, making her grip the sheets and push her ass up a bit, making him spank her and leave bites down her spine.

He moaned her name in her ear as he shot his load deep inside her, pulling out and moving onto his side of the small bunk. He grabbed the comforter at the bottom of the bed to put over them, and he took her shaking body in his arms. She kissed his chest passionately and then buried her face in the crook of his neck. That was the first time she had ever had sex, even though she was 22. It was worth the wait.

“You’re amazing, girl.” he whispered, sliding a piece of hair behind her ear.

“You are. That was incredible, all I imagined it would be.” she said, her voice quivering.

“You mean to tell me you…?” he asked, looking in her eyes.

“Well, damn. I didn’t know.” he added.

“It was perfect. You were rough but gentle enough with me that it didn’t hurt. It was amazing and felt so incredible, Merle.” Kati said, looking into his deep blue eyes.

“I’m glad I could be of service then, sweetheart. I have a question, though…” he said, tightening his grip around her.

“What’s that?” she asked, dreamily as she rested her head on his chest.

“You gonna try and leave me again?” he asked, quietly. “I mean, uh, leave us again.”

In that moment she knew the often hard ass, don’t-give-a shit-about-nothing, pain in the ass had feelings for her. She smiled softly and kissed his cheek.

“I’m not going anywhere so long as you aren’t.”

“I’m right here, Kati. Don’t wanna be noplace else.” he said, rubbing her back with the steady palm of his hand.

“That makes two of us.”