Feed the Flames

-celine’s pov-

Some people who have died and been resuscitated describe death as some bright white light. These people describe walking through a throne room to a dais and seeing a man in a white robe greeting them. These people will tell you of how they heard god’s voice, heard angels singing, saw their dead Auntie June standing with Jesus as he beckons them into the bright light. As clouds flow into the room a large gate appears behind Jesus and Auntie June, and these gates open, and then just as they begin to walk towards them, they wake up. This differs from person to person, but it’s all the same basic concept. But this is pretty much Heaven, yeah? The problem is that this view of the afterlife is prominent because everyone wants to be the first person to know what the afterlife is without actually dying. They swallow a fucking chunk of food the wrong way, their heart stops and they die before they’re brought back. They don’t really remember what death was like, but they think they do. Bright clouds and dead relatives; it’s the easiest notion to swallow.

Some people who have died and been resuscitated will tell you what really happens. They’ll tell you they went to sleep and woke up. Or they couldn’t breathe and then their vision went dark and then they woke up. They’ll tell you there was no Jesus, no relative, no clouds, no gates, no holiness. They’ll tell you that they went to sleep and woke up. A deep, dreamless sleep. That’s what I always wanted death to be, and that’s what I still believe it to be. A deep, dreamless, quiet nothingness that swallows you whole and never gives you back.

‘I’m working on it, okay, just hold on!’ Mason’s voice bounced around my head. I felt my stomach lurch again, and I fell against the toilet, more black bile spewing from my mouth.

I heard Bob over to my left, kneeling next to me with his hand on my back. “Mikey, she’s out of time, if she doesn’t get something in her she’s gonna be dead within the day! When the fuck is Frank gonna get back?!” His voice sounded distorted, like he was submerged in water while he was speaking. I fell from the toilet, not able to hold myself up as I laid back in the floor, staring at the ceiling through blurry vision. I felt a hand take mine. “You’re alright, just hang on a bit longer.”

When I woke up I learned I’d slept for sixteen hours straight after Mason brought me back last night. From the moment I opened my eyes I knew something was wrong. Everything hurt like I’d been crushed under a boulder all night. My vision was blurred, my organs felt like they were all twisted up inside me, and I couldn’t actually speak to anyone. When I rushed to the bathroom I began throwing up this thick black bile and I felt like death. Bob heard me first and rushed in. He knew what was happening. He’d gone through it himself a few times. He told me my body was ripping my stomach open to let blood in and I was throwing up all the poisonous blood in me. Once reliant on human blood, the toxic blood that made me a rogue couldn’t stay functional without human blood. Of course my body couldn’t handle the purge and it was killing me.

Mason heard my thoughts and having exhausted the guy’s stash all by himself, was out getting me blood so I didn’t die. Bob knew that Mikey was still trying to find a way for me to live without blood, but…Bob also knew I was out of time, even though Mikey seemed to refuse to give up. I didn’t catch much of their yelling back and forth because my hearing was almost nonexistent. I did know however that it was far too late. Mason’s blood had carried over the hunger of a rogue, and it was pure in me now.

Maybe this was it for me. Maybe this was my last stop. Every time I blinked it got harder for me to open my eyes again, and even when they were open black spots plagued my vision. I felt Bob’s hand leave mine and I could only barely make out a face above me finally, but not enough about it to figure out who it was.

I felt a hand under my head, lifting me off the floor. ‘C’mon, drink it. This was all I could get but it should suffice for now.’ I felt the rim of a cup placed against my lips, I could feel Mason tilting it forward, forcing the metallic-tasting liquid down my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut, downing the rest of the blood before I felt Mason take the cup away. Immediately I felt better. My hearing returned, my vision cleared as I opened my eyes, and every ache and pain in my body went away. Mason grinned, kneeling in front of me as he let go of my head, letting me sit up on my own. As soon as I regained my vision I could see blood coating Mason’s hands, splattered up his arms and a few dots on his cheek.

“Where did you get that? Why are you fucking covered in it?!” Bob’s voice hit me before I could say anything about Mason’s appearance, and Mason scoffed, looking over his shoulder at Bob.

“That doesn’t matter, what matters is that I got her in time.” I could just see Bob roll his eyes in the doorway before he threw up his hands, leaning against the doorframe. Mason turned his attention back to me. “Feeling better, right?”

All I could muster was a nod. My entire condition had done a one-eighty, though I was a bit shaken. I reached up and grabbed the countertop, and Mason took my arm, helping me up off the floor. “Were you just going to let her wither away? You realize in another ten minutes she’d be dead, right?” Mason asked, sitting the empty red solo cup down on the counter before he looked at Bob expectantly.

Bob’s tone was harsh towards Mason. “You realize I just got here, right? I went to try and find some goddamn blood, but you’ve stolen our entire fucking stash.”

Mason looked at Bob like he was the dumbest being on the planet. “That’s when you go straight to the source.” Immediately after his words, Bob’s eyes widened. I leaned on the counter, knowing Mason had done something he shouldn’t have.

“You can’t-you can’t just kill people here, Mason.” My voice was shaky, but I managed and Mason looked at me with a slight frown on his face. I raised my eyebrows slightly as if to ask if he was going to challenge it, but our moment was interrupted.

“Guys,” I lifted my head and saw Mikey standing in the doorway next to Bob. “I just got a text that a girl’s throat was just slit in the gym?” Just as fast as the words came out of Mikey’s mouth, his eyes went to Mason, and they only widened when he saw the blood covering his arms and hands. “Don’t you dare tell me it was you.” The words were accusing.

Bob was the first to speak up. “Cell was dying, he-he panicked and-” Bob seemed to be trying to make light of the situation as Mason cautiously began licking his fingers, and Bob stopped speaking immediately and pointed a stern finger at him. “No.” Bob stepped up to the sink and turned on the water. “Wash your hands, now.” With a slight huff, Mason stepped over and ran his hands under the water.

“I thought you said you were gonna stay in the maintenance room?” Mikey asked, and Mason shrugged, turning off the water. I grabbed the towel from the rack and handed it to him. He thought a quick thanks and turned towards Mikey.

“I was going to stay down there, yes, and if that will make you less hostile I will remain down there, but Celine was almost dead. Now unless you planned on getting your nose out of that damned computer and actually helping her, she was going to die.” Mason raised his eyebrows, crossing his arms over his chest.

Mikey looked exasperated as he balled his fists. “I’ve been trying to figure out how Cell can survive without having to be dosed with human blood daily.”

“Dosed?! You talk about it like it’s some fucking drug!” Mason’s tone quickly went from cool and collected to, ‘Who the fuck gave this guy a mouth?’

Without skipping a beat, Mikey matched Mason’s tone. “It is a fucking drug! Rogues are just a more dangerous version of fucking crack addicts who kill their dealers!” At that I peeked out from around Mason, the corners of my mouth pulling down. I didn’t think rogues were all that bad.

Quickly Mason picked up on my thought. “Yes, Celine, thank you! We’re not that bad! If anything we’re almost fucking human!” Turning back to Mikey, I noticed Bob looking more and more annoyed by the second.

“Except humans don’t die if they don’t chug a pint of blood every day!” While Bob was getting more aggravated, Mikey was getting more hostile.

“That’s because their bodies produce it, you fuckwad.” Before Mason could continue, Bob stepped in between him and Mikey, his arms out to separate the two.

“Okay, alright, both of you calm down.” With his short words, the two did seem to actually calm down. “Mikey, just go back to your computer, and Mason, get back to the-”

“I’m not going back to that utility room; fuck that.” Mason’s aggression seemed to quickly dissipate, though his stubbornness was another story. “Ah shut up, I’m not stubborn, I’m determined.”

‘Stubborn.’ I couldn’t help but grin as the word floated through my thoughts and Mason turned to me then.

“Determined; whole different ballpark.” I shook my head then, and noticed Bob staring at us with his mouth slightly open.

“With Mikey and Gerard I thought I was used to that, but at least they answer one another silently.” Bob narrowed his eyes slightly, a hint of confusion on his face.

‘It’s because he likes hearing his own voice.’

Mason grinned at that, but looked as if he was trying to fight it as he nodded shortly. “I-I do like hearing my own voice, I’ll admit that. I have a great voice.”

“At least Gerard’s not as annoying as you are.” Mikey turned and left without another word, and Mason tilted his head slightly.

“Gerard…that’s the one with the ostentatious hollow moodiness that spreads like an unwelcome rash, right?” With each word, a lopsided smirk grew on Mason’s face, and Bob finally shook his head, silently done with the current situation he was in, and left behind Mikey.

‘Ostentatious hollow moodiness that spreads like an unwelcome rash… At least the room cleared, it was getting cramped.’ I looked up at Mason as he turned to me, and he seemed unable to wipe the grin from his face.

“Great way to clear a room, isn’t it? Just begin a one-sided conversation of replies to the thoughts of your unheard significant other.” Mason closed the gap between us, his hands going to my hips, pulling my body against his. He ran his fingers through the left side of my hair, and a smirk grew on his face as he leaned into my lips. The kiss only last a split second as he moved his hands around to the small of my back, his lips placing a kiss to my jaw, and another to my neck before he suddenly stopped, pulling away from me slightly. “Your mark’s coming in.” His voice was a whisper, and I brought my hand up to the bruise on my neck.

‘Mark?’ I questioned mentally, looking up at Mason’s face, not sure what the hell he was saying.

‘When a vampire’s turned, on the site of the wound that was infected with a vampire’s blood this…mark appears. Every vampire’s got one because that’s how they’re turned, through an exchange of blood. It should clear up in a few days into some symbol or something.’ While his thoughts floated through my head I turned to the mirror. The first thing I noticed however wasn’t exactly the mark on my neck, but the fact that my eyes were a deep plum color. As I leaned forward on the sink, bringing my face closer to the mirror, I noted that not just the whites were this deep plum, but my pupils as well, and it was…slightly unsettling. Definitely a change from the almost clouded grey color my eyes usually were. ‘You’ll get used to the eye thing, they’ll do that after you feed. Rogues feed so often that our eyes never really return to normal, they stay solid. Bob wears contacts in a feeble attempt to keep everyone from knowing what he is. You saw his real eye color back at camp. The older the vampire the brighter the color. With enough time yours will be insanely bright. A thousand years from now you’ll have neon purple eyes, but I think it’s a good color on you.’ I turned and threw a joking glare at Mason, and he chuckled.

Turning back to the mirror, I moved my hair away from my neck, tucking it behind my ear as I inspected the long thin black blur on my neck. It still looked like a bruise to me but the more I studied it the more I could make out a shape. One end had a rectangular shape on the top of it, and then on the other end of the blurry line was an oval shape. Almost like a key.

‘It looks like a blurry key.’ My thoughts were joking, but Mason didn’t seem to take the joke lightly.

“Come here.” He gently turned me back around to him, and turned my head to the right as he narrowed his eyes at the blur on my neck. After a second, I saw his expression drop, but then he began smiling slightly. “Holy shit.” His voice was no more than a whisper, but I thought something was wrong.

“What?” I asked quickly, the word flying out in a worried rush. Mason smiled wider then, and began unbuttoning his shirt, and at the moment, I could not have been more confused. As he got his shirt unbuttoned, he took it off and turned around.

“Bottom of my ribcage, what do you see?” As he stood with his back to me, my eyes quickly found what he was talking about. At the bottom of his ribcage was a solid black mark. It was a keyhole; solid black, an inch tall and a centimeter wide.

I reached out and traced a finger around it. ‘What happened to you?’

‘I was…I was run through with a sword. Stabbed in the back by my brother.’ His voice flitted through my head, conflicted but solemn. I touched his arm, and he turned back to me, his eyes on the ground as he pulled his shirt back on, neglecting to button it.

‘You told me some stranger stabbed you and tossed you into The Seine, and some vampire fished you out and turned you.’ I began buttoning his shirt myself and he let out a sigh.

‘That’s true. By the time he stabbed me, I didn’t even know him anymore. He was not my brother, he was a traitor. He was a stranger.’ Mason put a finger und my chin, interrupting my buttoning as he made me look at him. ‘But I’m not the only one with lost family. On that piece of paper you spilled your soul out onto, you told me your brother moved and you never saw him again. He was really killed while on a student program overseas, wasn’t he?’ Of course he knew about that now. He had root access to every deep dark secret I kept locked away in my head. ‘I don’t mean to be obtrusive but you know…it’s kind of hard to not want to know every little thing about the person you love and want to spend your perpetuity with.’

I chuckled at that, shaking my head as I went back to buttoning his shirt. ‘I don’t understand that. I don’t understand the concept of love. How someone can spend a lifetime with another person without wanting to break them into a million little pieces. It’s simply not sound. Without a break from that other person, I don’t understand how two people could be happy that way. No matter how many books I’ve read, none of them changed my view on that.’ The more I thought about it, that was how I had begun thinking about Mason without even realizing it. The person I would spend my forever with. ‘But there you are, making me feel like I could spend forever with you and not want to tear your eyes out. You have destroyed my logic, you bastard.’ I couldn’t fight a smile as it made its way across my lips, and Mason took my face again, in both hands this time, a childish grin on his face.

“Mason Hartley: Bastard and Destroyer of Logic.” Resting his forehead against mine, his voice was soft but playful. “Two thousand years and I think that sums up my existence quite well.” I rolled my eyes, knowing the conversation was downhill from there as I shoved Mason away. He laughed, the sound echoing around my head as it bounced off the walls. God, why did I love that sound so much?

Why was I beginning to love him?

I suppose I had an endless amount of time to find out.

Our permanency on this earth may not destroy us after all.