Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

I took to wandering the streets that I have known for so long. I just kept walking, hoping I could get somewhere far away. I looked around for a cab or someone who would be willing to carry me as far as they would go. I had no plan, just a need to escape. I turned the corner and set my music to my playlist. I closed my eyes and let the music carry me. I felt free and peaceful. I opened my eyes and I realized that I had no idea where I was. I had wandered to a part of town that I had never been to. I felt my freedom and peace shift to a panic as I realized the sun was going down and I had no idea where I was going and had no friends in the area. I took a deep breath and marched on, hoping that maybe I wouldn’t be murdered and left for dead in an alley way. I came across a Seven Eleven and went inside. I went to the cooler and grabbed a Red Bull. Casually, I walked up to the cashier, who smiled with one of those “I hate my life. Please kill me now” cheesy smiles. I cleared my throat.

“So, um, how far am I from Marion?” I asked casually, trying not to seem panicked. The girl’s smile faded and she tilted her head.

“Hon, you are in Kannon,” she said, as if she had never heard of my town. “Marion is about two hours south.” I arched my brows in disbelief. I had been walking for a while, but I didn’t know where I was headed and how in the hell I had managed to get two hours away on foot. I nodded slowly, realizing that I had been walking for a good eight hours or so.

“Ah, well, thanks. I better get going,” I said dismissively as I headed out the door. I looked around me, realizing the gravity of the situation. “Son of a bitch…” I mumbled to myself, as I started down the sidewalk to nowhere. I continued along for what seemed like hours. The sun had set and there was no light, except for the dim streetlights that were few and far between. I pulled my hood up over my head and put my music back on in an effort to soothe my frayed nerves. After about an hour, I stopped and sat on the sidewalk with my back to a power pole. I pulled my legs up to me and began trying to figure out what I should have done before I left. I needed a game plan. This wandering around thing wasn’t working out to well. I rested my head against my knees and rocked back and forth, trying to conjure some form of an idea. I eventually gave up and smacked my head into the pole behind me. I felt a sudden lack of wind, and opened my eyes. “What in the fuck are you doing? Are you just going to stand there and watch a very fucking unstable bitch contemplate a way out of her fucked up situation? Pardon me, but last time I checked, that is really fucking rude, not to mention creepy!”

“Well, now that you mention it, I guess that does seem a little odd. I just happened to be walking around, trying to get some fresh air, and happened across you smacking your head into a pole. I didn’t know whether to try and stop you or to let you knock yourself out. I’m guessing I should have gone with the latter of the two?” I studied this man. He looked vaguely familiar, but no connection was made between his face and anyone I have ever known. I noted the dark brown, almost black hair that came to his shoulders and his dark eyes. If I didn’t know any better, I’d assume this motherfucker was a vampire or something. I shook my head and stood up.

“No, I’m just not in a real good place right now,” I muttered, brushing dirt, leaves, and gravel off of the back of my pants. He nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, I see what you mean. I’ve been out for less than an hour and have seen eight dead bodies, a dozen drug deals, and not to mention the killer clown down the block,” he said with a chuckle. I felt my brows arch. He tilted his head and laughed quietly. “I was only kidding. Well, about the bodies and the clown. I legitimately saw some dealing though.”

“That’s just fucking great,” I mumbled. “I have no idea where I am and now, I meet some weird ass guy who thinks everything is one big fucking joke. Way to go, Corey. You have really done it this time.” I pick my bags up and start walking.

“Hey! Wait up, “the guy called. I stopped and turned to see what he wanted. “I was only kidding. I’m not from around here either. I’m here on a tour with some of my friends. I just thought it was odd to see you in such circumstance.” I shrugged. “So, you really don’t know where you are? Where are you headed?”

“Far, far away, “I replied. “I don’t know where I am, but I know where I’ve come from, and I do not want to go back.” He raised a brow in confusion.

“Did you run away?” He asked, taking a step closer.

“I guess you could say that,” I said quietly. I shifted the weight of the bags. I really should have invested in the bags with the wheels.

“Well, do you want to come back with me? I mean, these streets aren’t too safe after a certain time. I just hate knowing that a runaway is all by herself in a totally strange place,” he said with pity. I sighed.

“Like I have anything better to be doing,” I muttered. “I mean, last I checked I was like 3 hours from what used to be home. I’ve been walking since about eight this morning.” His eyes widened.

“So, you have been walking aimlessly for sixteen hours?” He asked in disbelief. I nodded, shifting my weight again. “Well, at least come rest for a while. I got a hotel room, and no, that isn’t a pick up line. The guys and I got a suite. I got my own bed, but I’d let you sleep there. I can sleep on the floor. Here, “he said, picking up one of the bags. “Let me help you with that.” I sighed and nodded.

“Alright, but please don’t murder me. I have no family and no friends to come searching, so I am at your mercy,” I said dramatically. His nose scrunched up for a second, and then he nodded.

“Only if you promise not to take my virgintity, “he said with a crooked smile. I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. I nodded.

“Alright, that sounds like a deal,” I agreed, and I followed him back to the hotel.