Status: Active
Who I Am Hates Who I've Been
Disenchanted
I just blinked repeatedly before I burst into laughter. He tilted his head and scrunched his nose up. I looked at him for a second. I realized he was serious.
“You can’t just take in a stranger,” I said, collecting myself. He shrugged. “Do you not have any kind of common sense? Like, you are seriously the most insane person I have ever met.”
“Why can’t I? I mean, what is wrong with my wanting to help you?” He defended. “If you don’t want to stay with us, then fine, but at least get to know us a little bit. I mean, most people want to travel with a band. If you don’t want to stay, we will take you wherever you want to go. At least give me a chance to do something.” I looked at him incredulously.
“Are you serious?” I asked. He nodded. I sighed, realizing he wasn’t going to give up his little game of “help the homeless” so I nodded. “Alright, fine. Where exactly are you going? You can just drop me off next time you stop.” He looked at me and smiled.
“Well, we are touring, so it’s kind of a big deal. We go all over the place. Where do you want to go?” He asked, slyly grabbing my bag and setting it back down. I just shrugged. “That is exactly my point. You are a teenage runaway with no plan for a course of action. You acted on impulse, but luckily, or maybe not so much, I happened along. I am willing to try and help you. All that my offer entails is sheltering, feeding, clothing, and protecting you for as long as you will allow. I do not expect anything in return. I do not expect sex or drugs or any other such favors. I just want to help you.” I nodded. He smiled brightly and clapped his hands together. “Great! I will be right back!” He turned and exited the room, leaving me standing awkwardly. I went over to the bed and lied down. I found myself getting tired after a restless night. I curled into fetal position and before I realized it, I had drifted into a dreamless sleep.
“Gerard, what in the actual fuck is wrong with you?” I awoke to a harsh whisper. All of the lights were off, except for the one light towards the bathroom. I heard arguing in the hall. I wiped the sleep from my eyes before quietly making my way to the door. The argument continued, but it sounded like it was one-way. “Why are you so goddamn hell bent on trying to help this girl? You don’t know her. Hell, until a few hours ago, you didn’t even know her name. You don’t understand what this will do. She is a kid, Gee. What if someone comes looking for her? How the fuck are you going to explain that? No one is going to believe this. Look, if you want to take her somewhere, that’s fucking fine, but I am not dragging her along because you, for some God unknown reason feel like you have to be her fucking savior or some shit. Just fucking let it go. Whenever she gets up, tell her you realized what the fuck you did, and tell her to hit the door. I mean, you are risking your life and ours by pulling this shit. You’re lucky she didn’t fucking kill you,” Mikey continued on. I heard Gerard sigh, and as I turned away, he spoke.
“Do you want to know why I want to help her, Mikes? Do you really? I want to help her, because I have been there. I know how it is to want to escape and not have a plan. I didn’t have anyone to help me, and God knows there were nights were I wish someone would have come and helped me. Hell, or even killed me, but that never happened. Do you think it was just some coincidence that I couldn’t sleep, that I just so happened to go for a walk, and on that said walk, by chance I saw her, and luckily thought maybe she needed help?” He rebutted.
“Are you really playing the fucking fate card now, Gee? I mean, damn it! You need to get your shit together. You don’t have your own life figured out. How in the hell are you supposed to help someone else? You can’t even help yourself…”Mikey threw back. I heard an almost animal like sound.
“No, Mr. Perfect Mikey Fucking Way, I don’t have my shit all figured out, and no, I can’t help myself, but maybe, I think this is what I needed all along. Maybe, I fucking need to prove to myself that I am worth a shit. You know what though? Fortunately, I just need three out of the five of us to agree on this. I thought I would talk to my own brother first, but you just proved my point. So, I ran it by the others and they are totally okay with it. So, she’s staying,” he said triumphantly. Gerard turned and walked off. I lost my balance and fell into the door. I looked up at Mikey and he just glared at me.
“Congratulations, don’t fuck shit up,” he hissed as he walked away. I sat there in defeat as I tried to figure out what in the hell I had done to him.
“You can’t just take in a stranger,” I said, collecting myself. He shrugged. “Do you not have any kind of common sense? Like, you are seriously the most insane person I have ever met.”
“Why can’t I? I mean, what is wrong with my wanting to help you?” He defended. “If you don’t want to stay with us, then fine, but at least get to know us a little bit. I mean, most people want to travel with a band. If you don’t want to stay, we will take you wherever you want to go. At least give me a chance to do something.” I looked at him incredulously.
“Are you serious?” I asked. He nodded. I sighed, realizing he wasn’t going to give up his little game of “help the homeless” so I nodded. “Alright, fine. Where exactly are you going? You can just drop me off next time you stop.” He looked at me and smiled.
“Well, we are touring, so it’s kind of a big deal. We go all over the place. Where do you want to go?” He asked, slyly grabbing my bag and setting it back down. I just shrugged. “That is exactly my point. You are a teenage runaway with no plan for a course of action. You acted on impulse, but luckily, or maybe not so much, I happened along. I am willing to try and help you. All that my offer entails is sheltering, feeding, clothing, and protecting you for as long as you will allow. I do not expect anything in return. I do not expect sex or drugs or any other such favors. I just want to help you.” I nodded. He smiled brightly and clapped his hands together. “Great! I will be right back!” He turned and exited the room, leaving me standing awkwardly. I went over to the bed and lied down. I found myself getting tired after a restless night. I curled into fetal position and before I realized it, I had drifted into a dreamless sleep.
“Gerard, what in the actual fuck is wrong with you?” I awoke to a harsh whisper. All of the lights were off, except for the one light towards the bathroom. I heard arguing in the hall. I wiped the sleep from my eyes before quietly making my way to the door. The argument continued, but it sounded like it was one-way. “Why are you so goddamn hell bent on trying to help this girl? You don’t know her. Hell, until a few hours ago, you didn’t even know her name. You don’t understand what this will do. She is a kid, Gee. What if someone comes looking for her? How the fuck are you going to explain that? No one is going to believe this. Look, if you want to take her somewhere, that’s fucking fine, but I am not dragging her along because you, for some God unknown reason feel like you have to be her fucking savior or some shit. Just fucking let it go. Whenever she gets up, tell her you realized what the fuck you did, and tell her to hit the door. I mean, you are risking your life and ours by pulling this shit. You’re lucky she didn’t fucking kill you,” Mikey continued on. I heard Gerard sigh, and as I turned away, he spoke.
“Do you want to know why I want to help her, Mikes? Do you really? I want to help her, because I have been there. I know how it is to want to escape and not have a plan. I didn’t have anyone to help me, and God knows there were nights were I wish someone would have come and helped me. Hell, or even killed me, but that never happened. Do you think it was just some coincidence that I couldn’t sleep, that I just so happened to go for a walk, and on that said walk, by chance I saw her, and luckily thought maybe she needed help?” He rebutted.
“Are you really playing the fucking fate card now, Gee? I mean, damn it! You need to get your shit together. You don’t have your own life figured out. How in the hell are you supposed to help someone else? You can’t even help yourself…”Mikey threw back. I heard an almost animal like sound.
“No, Mr. Perfect Mikey Fucking Way, I don’t have my shit all figured out, and no, I can’t help myself, but maybe, I think this is what I needed all along. Maybe, I fucking need to prove to myself that I am worth a shit. You know what though? Fortunately, I just need three out of the five of us to agree on this. I thought I would talk to my own brother first, but you just proved my point. So, I ran it by the others and they are totally okay with it. So, she’s staying,” he said triumphantly. Gerard turned and walked off. I lost my balance and fell into the door. I looked up at Mikey and he just glared at me.
“Congratulations, don’t fuck shit up,” he hissed as he walked away. I sat there in defeat as I tried to figure out what in the hell I had done to him.