50 Shades of No

Things at the prison were calming down. Everybody was easing into a life of country luxury with enjoyable living, and little to no walkers to worry about. Rick and Hershel were tending to the farm they were starting, and they were finding animals for food. They had taken in extra people who were down on their luck and needed sanctuary, and these people were also able to help.

"Rick, I need a list before Daryl and I go on a run." Carol said.

"Well, any seeds y'all can find for vegetables and fruits would be nice. Could y'all also look for some books so we can read 'em to Judith and the kids? And then you know the rest... Diapers, ammo, baby food, the works." Rick replied.

"Got it. There's a Walmart about ten minutes West. We should be back within a couple hours." Carol smiled.

"Alright, just be careful. And thanks for volunteering." Rick said, and went off to tend to his crying baby girl.

Carol found Daryl outside, adjusting his jacket and his pack over his shoulders while sitting on his brother's bike. It still hurt him to use the damn thing, but he wouldn't get rid of it. It was the only thing Daryl had left of Merle. She smiled, watching Daryl fidget and attempt to get the pack on him comfortably.

"Ready?" she asked.

"You move like a damn cat. Sneakin' up on people like that." Daryl scowled.

"Are you ready or not, cranky ass?" Carol smirked.

"Yes, yes I'm ready. Hop on, I don't got all day." Daryl mumbled.

By bike, it took them fifteen minutes to hit the Walmart. This one was one of the newer, Super Walmarts, or whatever they called them. Must've been brand new when the outbreak happened. Most of the store was still packed. They immediately went to the baby isle to get everything Judy needed. Then they hit the weapon isle and got everything from knives, guns, ammo, and silencers. They would have to make a second trip at the end of the week, but this trip would prove to be one of bountiful resources. They got tons of seeds for the farm; corn, broccoli, green beans, peas, even apples and peaches. Daryl found the liquor isle and decided to go get some booze for the adults, and Carol said for him to meet her in the book section.

She found a number of books that the kids would love. She had found Sophia's favorite that she had read to her countless times; Charlotte's Web. After filling her pack to the maximum with books, she found something that made her laugh.

Fifty Shades of Grey.

What it had been doing in the young adult/kids section, she didn't know. She had wanted to read the book before the outbreak happened, but unfortunately, Ed refused. She grabbed it now and decided to give it to Daryl later on that night. That would prove to be a barrel of laughs, and maybe get him out of his bitchy mood. She would grab a couple beers for them to sip on, and she would casually hand him the book. She couldn't wait to see his reaction. Those brows furrowing over shocked and confused blue eyes, his face grimacing, and his southern drawl spewing some obscene yet funny sentence. It was going to be perfect.

She and Daryl took watch in one of the towers while everyone got their rest. Carol had packed her pack with the book, a six pack of Icehouse beer, and a blanket since the fall season was beginning to set in. Daryl was sharpening his bows as Carol entered the door of the inside room, and looked up at her, nodding.

"So, you going to tell me why you were acting like a baby today?"

"I didn't act like no baby." He grumbled. "I was tired." he added.

"Well who told you to go chasing after some damn oppossum last night?" Carol laughed.

"'s good shit. Y'all don't even know." he replied, defensively.

"My my Daryl Dixon, is that a pout?" Carol snickered.

"What? No! Just gimmie a beer, will ya?" he asked, turning a light shade of pink.

"Fine, fine. Also I got you a little present. You want it?" she asked, opening the beer bottle and handing it to him.

"A present?" he asked, looking dumbfounded.

"Yeah, you're gonna love it. Here." she said, handing him the book.

He took a swig of beer then turned the book to the front.

"What the...? Oh, HELL no. The hell is this, woman?" he grimaced.

Carol was looking him dead in the eye, straight face and all, and replied.

"This is erotic fiction, Daryl. And since you were acting like a tired teenage girl, I thought it--"

"Don't even finish that sentence!" he shouted.

He looked down at the book in disgust, shaking his head and murmuring that "this chick lit is the reason women are so damn corny". When Carol went to take a sip of her beer, he looked up at her quickly then popped open the book.

Carol spit out her beer, choking and laughing uncontrollably. She was smacking her leg and pointing, trying to form a coherent sentence between her roars of laughter. He glared at her, trying to keep from smirking, which ultimately failed.

"You tell anyone I looked at this, you best run and hide from me, girl." he warned. "Let's take a look at this shit."

Carol grabbed her pack and her beer and scooted closer to Daryl, looking over his shoulder. He mumbled, skipping pages and trying to find something really awful to show her. Halfway through the book, he found just the passage to read to her.

""This feels different than the last time—so carnal, so … necessary. He caresses my behind with his long-fingered hands, and I’m helpless, trussed up and pressed into the mattress, at his mercy, and of my own free will. He hits me again, slightly to the side, and again, the other side, then pauses slowly as he peels my panties down and pulls them off. He gently trails his palm across my behind again before continuing my spanking. I surrender myself to the rhythm of blows, absorbing each one, savoring each one … I moan loudly as my body takes over, and I come and come, convulsing around his fingers." Is this bitch SERIOUS?!" Daryl hollered.

"Gimmie!" Carol laughed, looking at a disgusted Daryl as he handed her the book.

"Oh, this is good. Listen! "Christian trails a spoonful of ice cream down the center of my body, across my stomach, and into my navel … He kisses each of my breasts and sucks each of my nipples hard, then follows the line of ice cream down my body, sucking and licking as he goes … ‘This way,’ he murmurs and abruptly is inside me … He leans over, releases my hands, and pulls me upright so I am practically sitting on him … He nuzzles my neck, biting down, as he flexes his hips, deliciously slowly, filling me again and again. He smiles against my neck, and his fingers curl around my jaw and throat, holding me fast for a moment." Oh my. I don't... How was this book even popular?" Carol gasped, dropping the book like a diseased rodent at her feet.

"Don't ask me. Yer a woman. So you got the whole woman brain thing going on. How is that sexy?" Daryl asked, opening his third bottle of beer.

""Woman brain thing?" Um, come again?" Carol asked, her eyes hardening as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Oh, take it easy and stop lookin' at me like that. I just... I don't know. Man I'm buzzed." he chuckled nervously, downing half the beer in one big gulp.

"....Mmmmhmm." Carol said, shaking her head and smiling as she finished her second beer.

She could feel the effects of the alcohol beginning to get to her. She was loosening up and felt... Relaxed. How long had it been since she felt this calm? This cozy? This... Free? This felt strangely like paradise to her. Even being in a guard tower, at a prison, it felt like she was in some high end hotel, the entire world at her feet.

She looked up from her bottle to see Daryl eyeing her. His eyes were soft and slightly dreamy, but his lips remained in a hard line. It was always so difficult to figure out what he was thinking. Then it hit her; He was looking at her like that pathetic writer of the book made her male hero look at her female heroine.

It made her feel light. It made her feel 10 feet tall, and like she could take on the world. After all the time, she never thought a man could make her feel so bubbly and so... Whole.

"You know what? I have a suggestion..." Carol said, standing up clumsily.

"What's that?" Daryl asked, looking up at her.

"You were right. I do have the "woman brain thing" going on. And damn it, those were sexy love scenes!" she smiled. "I think we should... reenact them."

Daryl's eyes widened, his pupils nearly taking all the blue color away. He gulped, standing up on shaking legs and looked at her. She inched close to him, her eyes focused on him and only him.

"Wha- wha are you doin'?" He asked in a breathy voice.

"Daryl, sunshine, we are both consenting adults, and I saw the way you looked at me. The feeling, it... It's mutual." she smiled, blushing slightly.

"Listen, Carol," Daryl began, grabbing her hands in his.

"Yes, we are two consenting adults. But we are both drunk. It's cold... Things are just startin' to wind down. And as much as I would like to, uh, "reenact" those scenes with ya, I'd rather wait 'til we was born sober. Make it more... Memorable, yeah?" he explained, taking Carol's hands up to his lips and kissing them sweetly.

"Really?" she asked, in awe.

"Really. Now put that comforter down and getcha ass on it. Let's get warm." he smiled, and laid down, patting the side beside him.

"If you insist... Sir." she joked, sticking her tongue out at him.

As they curled their bodies against each other, her head against his muscular, warm chest, and his arm around her slender body, the feeling of their home being paradise in a world gone to Hell seemed to explode in ten fold.

"What dumb luck it was to find that book..." Carol smiled as she drifted off to sleep.