His Saving Grace

For the rest of that day, I noticed Steve and Sam watching me more carefully, sharing worried glances every now and then. I didn’t appreciate the concern. Only Bucky seemed to have let it go. I had woken up to see his head resting on the side of the mattress, legs sprawled out in front of him. From the angle of his head I knew he’d have a sore neck when he woke, but he wasn’t showing any signs of it.

“I’m going to grab some food.” Steve said, standing from his seat at the table, where he’d been looking over the map and jotting down coordinates or battle plans or something along those lines. Sam looked up and nodded, standing with him.

“I’ll come too.” He said, trying to sound casual but I could hear the excuse to leave in his voice. I didn’t say anything as I watched the two walk out, disappearing behind a divider and from my vision.
Bucky watched them too, before he turned to me, his eyes worried.

“Are-“

“I’m fine!” I huffed, standing up and walking over to Bucky. “I am more than fine. Give me your hand.” I said, and he frowned at me. “Your neck must be killing you. Give me your damn hand.”

“It doesn’t bother me.” He said. I glared at him for a moment, until he sighed and put his hand out.

“Thank you.” I said, taking it and seeking out the pain in his neck. His entire body was sore from the hard ground, so I took care of that too, seeing his shoulders lose the tension that had been there all day. “That’s better.” I said, dropping his hand and returning to my seat, staring at the ceiling.

“Thank you.” Bucky said softly, leaning back in his own seat. I gave him a tight smile before returning my attention to the ceiling. “Was it just a dream?” He asked after a few moments of silence, and I cringed.

“Yes. Nothing to worry about.” I lied, rubbing my right hand with my left. Bucky remained silent after my lie, and I thought back to that day. It was a long time ago, when I had just been a naturally born freak. Where my healing was good enough for me to survive the flames, for a few minutes anyway. It was all it had taken for someone to help me, to break free of the crowd and pull me from the flames, scarring them permanently, but saving my life all the same.

It had been a man, I could remember his face as clear as day. He’d been travelling through the town when he heard the crowd and my screams. He had been a police officer in one of the bigger cities and took me with him when he travelled. My family hadn’t protested.

He’d been a wonderful father. He’d had two children already, and they accepted me. He never told them what he had saved me from, but I often saw his wife looking at me with pity. But she loved me as she loved her own, so I didn’t mind the pitiful glances she sometimes gave me whenever I flinched or watched myself heal from a shallow cut almost instantly.

“Steve wants to check out a base that’s close by.” Bucky’s voice broke through my memories, and I started, my heart racing for a moment before it steadied.

“Oh.” I murmured, as I watched him fidget in his seat.

“I want you to come with us.” He said softly, and my eyebrows rose in surprise. “Steve wants both Sam and I to go.”

“I can take care of myself, Bucky. You know that.” I said, crossing my arms over my chest, my legs stretched out in front of me comfortably.

“I know. But I want you there. I know I can trust you.” He said softly, and I frowned.

“I thought you were getting along with Steve? I mean, your memories are back now, aren’t they?” I asked, pulling my legs closer and leaning forward, elbows on my knees.

“They are, mostly. But…” Bucky sighed and ran a hand through his hair, frowning in concentration. “If something happens… we might need you.” Bucky said softly, copying me by putting his elbows on his knees.

I nodded slowly, leaning back. I knew it would happen eventually. I’d need to tell them, and if they were going towards a base with just the three of them, they’d need someone to make sure they all survived.

“Okay. I’ll come with you. But you will be my first priority.” I said, standing and leaving the room, heading for the gym. I didn’t hear Bucky move after me, and he didn’t say anything.

I spent the rest of the day in the gym at the punching bag. I hadn’t fought in a serious fight in a while, at least, not hand to hand, and I refused to let the spar with Sam count. I must have been in there for a while before Bucky followed me in, standing behind me and watching me move, just like old times.

“Try angling yourself a little more to the left.” He said softly, and I nodded, doing as he suggested. It helped, more than I thought it would have.

I stopped for a moment and gave him a small smile over my shoulder, before returning to the bag.
It had been a while ago when he first taught me to fight. I had already been trained by Hydra agents, but I had surpassed their teachings enough that someone pretty high up had decided to take Bucky out of cryo-freeze. I frowned for a moment, doing the math in my head.

If Bucky had been out of cryo-freeze to train me, he had to have been out of it for at least two weeks. Then he was taken out again barely a month later to regain enough of his former self and get me out. I had taken all and any information on Hydra to my contact three weeks afterwards, when my contact was killed by Bucky.

That was too much time to have been out at once, but to have frozen him that often in such a short amount of time…

“Bucky.” I said softly, turning to face him, the frown still on my face.

“What?” Bucky asked, mirroring my expression.

“How long have we known each other?” I asked hesitantly, my blood running cold when his face went blank.

“I… I don’t know. When did Hydra find you? Where were you when they did?” Bucky asked, taking a step forward, alarm in his eyes. Seeing it there made my stomach turn.

I thought back to that time, back when I was in the flames. I saw the carriages. The horses tied to them, the lack of powerlines and the lack of police sirens when they dragged me through the dirt streets. I remembered the police man who had saved me. He had pulled me onto his horse and we rode out of that god forsaken town and into the city. I had grown up there, I had been living with the policeman and his family when they had announced the war. But it hadn’t been world war II. It was another one. Slowly, I met Bucky’s gaze.

“I was there before you.” My legs buckled from underneath me, unable to support my weight as shock ran through me. “How could I not remember? How could I have been?” I couldn’t breathe, it was too overwhelming. I wasn’t like Bucky. I wasn’t enhanced the way he was.

Bucky’s hand on my shoulder drew me back into the present, and made me realize that I was hyperventilating. “Grace, breathe. Clam down.” He was trying to be reassuring, but it didn’t help at all, though I appreciated the effort, in some part of my mind.

“What did they do to me that I don’t remember? I could be working for them! I- I might have been the one calling them, all this time…” It was my worst fear. That Hydra might have been inside my head this entire time. I’d always been alone for brief periods of time before they showed up. Bucky had been unconscious twice, and I had been sitting outside for nearly the entire time he had been gone back at Steve’s. Bucky and Sam had been spotted by Hydra on their trip too.

“You haven’t been calling them, it was my arm the entire time. Calm down, breathe.” Bucky repeated, but I couldn’t stop shaking, and I didn’t believe him.

“Your arm that I tampered with! Don’t leave me alone.” I said, staring up at him. “Please. Make sure I don’t do anything.” I begged. Bucky shook his head slightly, sighing.

“Fine. I’ll make sure you don’t contact anyone.” Bucky promised quietly, crouched down to look me in the eye. His hand was still on my shoulder, and he squeezed it lightly. “But I can promise you, you’re not calling them.”

“How do you know?” I said softly, breathing easier now that he’d promised.

“Because we’ve been getting away.” He said. “Everything you do, you make sure you get it right the first time. We’ve lost them three times already.”

“Just to be safe, though. Please don’t leave me alone.” I pleaded again and Bucky nodded.

“Okay. I’ll stay right here.”

“Thank you.”