His Desire

She had become good at being able to relax into her captor whenever he made her sit against him on the bed. He could tell if she was tense and unwilling, so Tina ended up telling herself that she enjoyed being that close to him. It was easier as she slowly became able to pretend that it wasn't her captor that she was resting against, something which she never thought she'd be able to do. Who would've thought they could start to imagine their captor and tormentor as someone other than that? She could never forget but in this moment, with her head resting against his chest and his fingers slowly caressing her stomach, he had become peaceful.

There had been enough times where he'd just wanted to sit quietly with her that she had come to realise that whenever that happened it wasn't the same as how it had began. It was different to when he forced her so that he could further emphasise his control over her, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what made it different. He was definitely nicer, and almost tender, there was no doubt about that, but it was almost as if he was another person in those moments. He was quiet and even if he did speak not once would he say anything that he normally would have. It was why it was easier for her to relax into him and accept his visit.

The calmness of the moment allowed her to absorb his warmth and without intending to Tina found her eyes closing, the silence helping to gently lull her to the verge of sleep. He's so soft, so warm, and she's just so tired, more tired than normal. It had been like that for the past few days but she knew better than to let on that something might be wrong. She'd endure and pretend rather than make him think about her health, especially as she knew there was nothing she wanted more than to finally escape and that wasn't something that could happen if he decided that she was no longer healthy enough to bother with.

Sometimes she began to think about what it would be like if she could actually make it seem like she loved him. Would he treat her differently? Surely it would mean that he wouldn't be expecting her to ever try to escape again, and while she would never admit that it was still something that she wanted, there was no doubt that it was probably on his mind from time to time. If he believed that she loved him and didn't want to leave, would she still be made to have the chain on her ankle? It made her more pliable but without it she could as be reckless as she was at the start, all those months ago. She couldn't even work out how many months it had been - had it been a year already? Trying to keep track wasn't even something she could do as he'd made sure he had deprived her of any chance of counting the days from the moment she'd woke up restrained to the bed. If he felt he had nothing to worry about with her, could she then be brought back to reality with the ability to track the days and stay just a bit more sane?

His hand was resting her on leg and she felt as he began to trace shapes on her skin, the sensation adding to the comfort she was already feeling. Her head fell to the side and the warmth of his body was now radiating onto her cheek. With her eyes closed, Tina was certain she could live in the reality she was imagining. It would be easy, all she would have to do was act like she was now, always calm and warm towards him, and there would be no repercussions to think about because there would have been nothing remotely disobedient with her actions. If only there wasn't such a stark contrast between the reality in her mind and the reality that was always about her whenever her eyes were open and she was forced to constantly be aware of her surroundings. Did he even want her to stop resisting? He always said that his actions were only to make her learn but there was part of her that was sure he enjoyed hurting her, no matter what he said. It was so difficult to see anything other than presented, and reading him was a much more tedious task.

"Sleeping again?" her captor murmured, his voice soft enough that it didn't bring her back to her reality.

"You're just really warm," she mumbled, feeling as his chest rose and fell with his breathing.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and moved his hand from her leg to her cheek, slowly running his fingertips along her jaw. "Is that so?" She felt him shift slightly beneath her but she kept her eyes closed, not wanting to wake up. So far, she could act like there was no fear within her, that their conversation was just a normal one. "Aren't you sweet."

It sounded like he had accepted what she'd said. Part of her knew he would because he was peaceful, and if he was peaceful then why wouldn't he accept what she had said? But that part of her was small, although it was the one she was trying her hardest to channel at that moment, and it was hard to remain unaffected by his words. She wanted to remain aloof and him to remain peaceful, but it was easier when he wasn't talking.

After a moment of silence, just when Tina thought she could erase his words from her mind, her captor spoke again. "Remember when you felt bad for not having a gift for me?" he said, his lips suddenly close to her ear. She tried not to think about the fact that her head was now trapped between his head and chest. "It's time you began to think about how to repay me. Don't you agree?"

It was bait. Bait to get her to come back to reality and she knew it wouldn't be long until she was forced back, unable to continue to pretend that everything was better with her eyes closed. "Of course," she replied, her voice catching slightly at the end. No, no, no! She wasn't ready to give up the solitude she was currently feeling.

"It's really simple and so easy to do. I want you to start initiating sex."

Her eyes shot open and she was back in the room, the chain encasing her ankle, her captor imprisoning her against him. "What?" she whispered, unwilling to grasp what she had just said.

He brought his hand up to her hair and began to run his fingers through it. "It's time you started to show me just how willing you are now."

No. She didn't say it aloud nor did she react like she used to. Instead she fixated on each word, trying to comprehend what he had said with as little emotion as she could. "Now?"

His fingers gave a yank and her head was upright and slightly strained against his chest. "Don't be stupid," he chided. "You know I don't mean now otherwise it would just be you doing what I want you to do. But I also know what you're like with putting things off, so I just want to remind you that there is a limit to my patience."

He wanted her to initiate sex. She could feel a hysterical laugh bubbling in her chest at the thought. How could she initiate sex when it was never sex? Sure, she laid there, accepted it and didn't resist at any point, but she didn't want it at all. It reminded her of the time he wanted her to touch him, to act like she was a willing participant, and all she could think about was the disaster that it turned out to be. She didn't want a repeat of that but how could he believe she could be the one to make the first move of her rape? A chill went down her spine. Would it even be rape if she was the one to initiate it? Even though she didn't want it and had no choice, if she was the one to bring him to bed, would anyone still see that as rape?

"Are you listening, Tina?" her captor said, penetrating her thoughts.

"It's rape," she breathed, barely allowing her lips to form the words. Even so, his hand moved from her hair and down to her throat, lightly holding it.

"What was that?"

She didn't think as she grabbed his other hand and pulled it between her legs, pressing his fingers against her. "Now," she said, this time a little louder. His hand moved slightly from her throat and she spun around, climbing to her knees and throwing herself towards him. She kissed him forcefully, gripping his face with both hands as if it would stop her from pulling away. This was what he wanted, it was what he'd wanted her to do for a while, but while she accepted the kisses he forced upon her she had never given him one. She kept her eyes closed as she pressed herself closer to him, desperately trying to stop him from prising her off. This was what he wanted and she was giving it to him, the hysteria building in her chest every second. It didn't last long, however, no matter how much she tried to fight him. He pulled her away from him just enough to hit her across the face, making her body twist enough to lose the balance she had on her knees and fall back onto the bed. "You wanted it," she said, refusing to open her eyes.

There was a moment before she could sense him looming over her. "Open your eyes," he said.

"You wanted it."

He struck her again. "Open your eyes, Tina." Her assumption that he was hovering above her was right as she opened her eyes to him straddling her legs and leaning down towards her face. She hadn't even felt him get on her. "Did I not just say not now?" he said calmly.

"I wanted to do it." Before I could think about it.

"While I appreciated your lovely kiss, you didn't listen. I specifically told you not now because I know what you're like. But you are right, I did want it, although that's not the point. So why didn't you listen?"

"You told me not to and wanted it to be a surprise, so I thought--"

He cut her off. "You'd show me you were ready. The question is now, why haven't you shown me this before?"

Her thoughts were barely making sense and Tina wasn't sure how to reconcile her words with them, but he was waiting for an answer and all she could remember was how peaceful he'd been not so long ago. "I didn't know you want me to. I know you like the control," she said quietly, regretting her final word the moment she'd said it.

Instead of reacting how she was anticipating, her captor brought a hand to her face and ran his thumb over her lips. "There is nothing I like more than controlling you," he said, using his thumb to bring her lip down, "but that doesn't mean I don't want you to move onto my lap on your own. I do understand your confusion, though."

"I thought you'd like it."

"Next time you do it, make sure you think first. I understand this time but don't make it a habit of doing it when I've just reminded you." He leaned down and kissed her cheek before climbing off her and standing from the bed. "I'll see you this evening." With that he left the room, once more closing the door without locking it.

Tina sat up from where he'd had her pinned and grabbed the pillow, pressing it hard against her mouth as her hysteria erupted in a scream. The more she tried to detach herself, the more it felt she couldn't control her emotions, and she knew how much of a disaster that would turn out to be. Now all she could feel was his lips of hers and her muffled scream turned into a gag as she came back to the reality of having kissed him willingly.