His Desire

"Are you ready, Tina?" his voice called through the door, making Tina hunch over her knees more. His voice made her skin crawl more than normal as she bit down on her arm to stop herself from letting out a sob.

She wanted to tear off her skin. She wanted to burn it away and scrub every trace off her body. But she couldn't. Her skin was already red raw and yet she couldn't escape. It was as if his fingers had tainted her skin, making sure that she could constantly feel him on her. He had violated her and it was worse than anything that had ever happened to her. It made her feel weak and dirty, and when he forced her into the bath afterwards, the water did nothing to cleanse her.

It was nothing like her first experience with a man. That had been awkward and unpleasant, with the subsequent realisation that she was not attracted to men at all, but this experience was horrific and agonising.

Knowing that she had to answer, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she dared to speak. "I'm a-almost done," she said, struggling to make her voice loud.

A moment passed and there was no barging into the bathroom, no pain, no nothing. He had accepted what she said, and while she was grateful, she knew she couldn't stall for much longer. She sat up away from her knees and put her hands on either side of the tub, bracing herself as she slowly stood. She was unsteady as she stood on the floor and it hurt to open her legs too wide but she tried to push that to the back of her mind, needing to focus on getting dressed in the clothes he had left on the toilet seat lid before he decided to check on her and see what was taking so long.

She pulled the underwear on, dropping the bra as she fumbled with the hooks. She managed to do it up on the second try, her shaking hands not helping at all. There was one last thing on the lid and she picked it up tentatively, allowing it to unfold and reveal a plain long-sleeved dress. She didn't know what he had done with her other clothes after he'd forced them off her, but she desperately wanted them back. There was a type of security from wearing trousers that she was only just recognising as she stared at the dress. Wearing that would mean that it would be easier for him to violate her again, and the thought of him touching her made her feel sick.

Unwillingly, she pulled on the dress and looked back at the bath. She hoped that she wasn't here long enough to experience being bathed by him again. The board on the window was loose enough to remove but she hadn't found the right time to use it.

Opening the door and seeing the bedroom made her grip the handle tighter at the reminder of what had transpired just over an hour ago. Her captor was sat on the chair, seemingly patiently waiting for her. She knew it was just as likely that he hadn't been patient and that she was going to be punished for making him wait, but she had needed the time to compose herself. He'd told her that she needed to put the clothes on and look pretty before he'd left the bathroom, and she'd realised that he didn't want her to be crying when she came out.

The man stood up and approached her, gently pressing a kiss to her cheek as her grip on the handle tightened. "I knew you'd look lovely in that," he said, pressing a hand to her back to pull her into the room fully. "I always hated seeing you in trousers and jeans. The last time I saw you in a dress was when you were a bridesmaid. I didn't get to see you at the ceremony, unfortunately, but I knew then that dresses would always suit you."

His words made Tina stiffen as she was forced to sit on the chair. The only time she had been a bridesmaid was when her aunt got married. She had been one week away from turning fourteen and was forced into a dress that made her look like a fairy by her aunt. Surely that was not what he was talking about? That was six years ago, long before she was kicked out by her mother. There was no way he could have known her then. She refused to believe his words.

"You have come a long way since your first day so perhaps daily baths and clean clothes can become part of your routine," he mused, walking behind her and making her tense up. A moment passed before she felt something on her head, running from top to tips. When it happened again she realised he was brushing her damp hair. She squeezed her eyes shut as he ran the brush through her hair again. This normalcy that he tried to create made her feel sick and she had to control herself to ensure that she wasn't actually physically sick. It wasn't that she would have preferred to be kept like an animal, only to be visited whenever he wanted to beat her or violate her, because she really didn't want either of those things to happen, but the way he kept touching her and forcing her into conversations made the whole situation worse. If she didn't know better, she'd think those actions would happen in a relationship between two consensual people, not between a kidnapped person and her captor.

She had to open her eyes when she felt his hand brush down the side of her face and rest on her neck. "You don't know how long I've waited to do this with you," he said, his tone sending a chill down her spine. "Tell me, do you still think of girls inappropriately?"

"W-what?" she exclaimed, crying out she was hit with the brush.

"Don't play dumb with me. I know that was why you were kicked out of your home, and although it wasn't pleasant to see you living out on the streets, your mother was right. There is something wrong with you for thinking that you like girls, but we're going to fix that."

When his hand dropped from her neck, she scrambled out of the chair and faced him with wide eyes. "You're sick!" she screeched, backing towards the window. "I'm not the one that needs fixing, you do!"

Her words made him knock the chair out of his way before he stormed over to her, grabbing her before she could reach the window and throwing her onto the bed, straddling her legs as he pinned her arms. "What did I tell you about speaking like that?" he snapped, making her kick her legs in an attempt to get him off. "I thought you were learning!"

As he finished speaking, she managed to bring her knee high enough to hit him between his legs, making his grip on her arms loosen from the pain. She brought her knee up again and threw all her weight to the side, making them both tumble off the bed. She took advantage of his slight disorientation from the impact of the floor to get off of him and kick him between the legs again before she ran to the door, flinging it open and escaping the room. She followed the hallway to the stairs and almost tripped twice as she hurried down them, relief flooding her when she saw the front door ahead of her. She couldn't believe her luck when she was able to open the door, fleeing out into the rain.

She didn't recognise her surroundings as she turned in the street, trying to work out which way to go, but facing the door again made her run blindly, her bare feet hitting the ground hard as she put distance between herself and where she'd just escaped from. All the houses she passed were detached, and although she wanted to bang on one of the doors for help, she didn't know where she was or who knew her captor. What if she knocked at a house of someone who'd just take her back to him? It might not be likely but she wasn't prepared to take that chance.

Tina had to stop after a short while, her head spinning as she panted heavily. The last piece of food she'd had was back at the shelter, before she'd been kidnapped, and she had no idea how long it'd been since then. Despite constantly filling up the glass that her captor had left in the room with her, all that water hadn't given her the energy that food would have. Knowing that she had no other choice, she sat down on the wet street and put her head between her knees, trying to calm her breathing. She didn't know whether her captor was chasing after her - she assumed that he probably was - but she hoped that he'd turned the other way, going in the opposite direction to her. All she needed was to find a police station and then she'd be free. Sure, she'd still be homeless but she'd be free and away from the madman who had taken that away from her. Being starving and cold on the street would be heaven compared to being a prisoner in that room with boarded up windows.

Footsteps caught her attention and she bolted to her feet, startled when she saw a woman with an umbrella approaching her. "Excuse me?" she stuttered, suddenly aware of being in nothing but a dress. "Do you know the way to the police station?"

It was obvious that the woman noticed her lack of shoes but thankfully she didn't say anything. "Take a right at the end of the street then take two lefts and it'll be on your right," the woman pointed out, making Tina thank her profusely before she began running the way she had been pointed.

The rain had stopped by the time she reached the station and after taking a deep breath, she pushed open the door and went inside, grateful at how warm it was. There were two officers at the desk as she approached it. "Are you okay, Miss?" one of the officers asked, taking in her appearance.

"No, you have to help me, please!" she exclaimed, gripping the desk tightly. "I think he's following me but I don't know. I can't see him but please, I need help."

The two officers glanced at each other before the one who'd spoken before looked back at her. "Can you tell me your name, Miss?"

"Tina Worthin. Please, you have to help me! I don't know where I am."

At the mention of her name, the officer who hadn't spoken tapped something in front of him and the other officer checked it out as Tina looked over her shoulder, relieved that her captor hadn't followed her. She looked back to see the officer nod before looking back at her. "We're going to get one of our female officers to sit with you in a private room, if that's okay?"

She could only nod as the officer led her to a door to the right of the desk, opening to reveal a small room with several blue chairs. She sat down on one of them, now aware of how wet her hair was. Though the bandages had been removed from her wrists as they had healed almost entirely, she still had her broken fingers to show them what had been done to her. She just couldn't believe she was free.

A few moments later a female officer entered the room and closed the door, coming over to sit on the chair opposite her. "My colleagues told me your name is Tina Worthin?" she asked, looking down at the pad she held in her hand.

"Yes," Tina confirmed.

"I'm going to be as honest as possible, Tina. In these circumstances we would normally take your statement and run your name in our system to see if anything comes up. However, the name you have given to us isn't yours. It belongs to a deceased woman."

The officer's words made Tina dig her fingers into the seat of her chair, fear seeping into her bones. Surely there can be two Tina Worthins? So why would they not run her name? She could give them all her details - where she was born, her mother's address, her father's name, anything important that could prove her identity. She was about to vocalise this when the officer shook her head, silencing her.

"Do you recognise the name Henry Shrell?"

She tried to recall whether she'd heard that name before but although Henry was a name she was familiar with, Shrell was not, and she was almost one hundred percent certain that she had never met a man with that surname. "I don't," she admitted.

The woman seemed to look sad at her answer, though Tina wasn't sure why. She would have remembered him if he was important, and besides, why did that matter? She needed to report her captor. Except she had no idea what his name was, or even the way back to the place she had escaped from, she realised with dread. How could she report someone she could barely describe?

There was a sharp knock at the door and the officer excused herself, opened the door and listened to what she was told before sitting back opposite Tina. "It must be horrible, not remembering when you become like this. We're not equipped to deal with mental health very well, but Henry has been a saint. He phoned us not even ten minutes before you got here to see whether you had arrived, and when we said you hadn't, he explained everything to us. And I know this might seem strange right now, but once you are on your medication, it will all make sense."

"What medication?" Tina exclaimed, standing from her chair in fear. "I don't understand what you're on about. I need your help - why aren't you helping me?" She could feel herself becoming hysterical and for a moment she thought this might be a nightmare, one that she would wake up from any moment now. She started to back away from the officer, ultimately trapping herself in a corner as she stared at the door over the officer's shoulder, wishing that she'd picked a chair closer to it.

"Mr Shrell - Henry - phoned because he was worried that you might hurt yourself. He's your husband, and your name is Lisa Shrell. Do you not remember that?"

"My h-husband?" Tina started to slide down the wall, the situation suddenly making her feel nauseous. "I was kidnapped!"

"You were recently released from a psychiatric ward. We ran your name, despite what your husband told us, and it confirmed everything he said."

There was another knock at the door and the officer stood, giving her one more sympathetic look. "Your husband's here. We're going to let him have a moment with you and then we're going to speak about what is the best thing for you." Before Tina could respond, the officer opened the door to reveal her captor in the doorway, looking well-groomed. "Mr. Shrell," the officer greeted, allowing him to step into the room before closing the door, trapping her with him.

She started to shake her head, staring at him with wide eyes. "No, stay away from me," she stuttered, trying to back herself further into the corner.

Her captor picked up a chair and set it a few feet in front of her, sitting down and observing her. "You're sick, Lisa. When you left home without permission, I phoned ahead and warned the nice officers what you might say when you arrived, about how you were Tina Worthin and how you were kidnapped. I also mentioned that you hadn't been taking your medication for the past few days, which was why you are like this, and would be as right as rain once we got home."

"My name's not Lisa!"

"Shh, it's okay," he said, taking her back to the time when she was in his car and made the mistake of eating the sweet he offered. She couldn't move as he got off the chair and crouched down in front of her, making her mouth go dry in fear. He put his hands on her upper arms and leaned in close, his breath touching the side of her face. "Did you really think I would let you escape?" he hissed before gently guiding her to her feet and placing an arm tightly around her waist.

Tina wanted to fight, to escape his grip and prove to the police officers that she was Tina Worthin, but she didn't know how. They all thought she was crazy and the people who were supposed to protect her had put her back in her captor's arms. This had to be a sick nightmare. It just had to be. But when the door opened and she saw the female officer there, she knew it wasn't. The officer stepped into the room and gestured for them to take a seat, and Tina was forced onto the chair next to her captor, his arm still keeping her in his hold.

"I brought you your file, Lisa," the officer said kindly, holding out a brown paper file for her to take. She held it with shaking hands as she opened it, seeing her picture paperclipped at the top. Her eyes skimmed over the information, terror consuming her as she read about a person she didn't know. According to the file, she was twenty-three, had be placed into a psychiatric ward twice as a teenager and three times as an adult, and had been married for two years. The only thing that was accurate was her day and month of birth, but the year was completely off. She couldn't comprehend what she was reading - how had he managed to completely erase her identity and replace it with this new person who no one would think was sane? Of course the police would go by what they were reading in her file, that was how they worked, she acknowledged.

She kept her gaze on the file as her captor spoke. "I can't thank you officers enough. This was all my fault. I discovered that she hadn't been taking her medication like she'd said and instead of approaching her gently, like normal, I became angry which is why she ran away. She's not ready to go out alone, you see. When she was released from the psychiatric ward, they recommended not overwhelming her, but I messed up," he explained, his tone filled with sincerity. If Tina didn't know better, she would have believed him as well.

"It's quite alright. However, this does raise some questions about the safety of Mrs. Shrell as a vulnerable person. We have a number of helplines we'd like to give you in case you ever need help," the officer said, and Tina glanced up in time to see her hand over a few leaflets, "but we do have some concerns, naturally."

Tina went to open her mouth only for her captor to speak again. "Of course, but like I said, as soon as she takes her medication and it kicks in, she'll settle down. In a few days, this episode will be in the past. You're welcome to pay us a visit then, to assess her, if you'd like."

"That won't be necessary, Mr. Shrell. We're not very equipped to deal with mental health, but we will be making a log of this incident and if it happens again, we will have to take action."

The file was removed from her hands and she panicked as the officer stood up. "Don't listen to him! He's crazy!" she cried, clawing at her face as the officer looked at her pitifully.

Her hands were grabbed and she was forced to look at her captor's face. "It's okay, Lisa. We're going to go home now and we're going to prevent this from happening again. We can't have you going walkabouts and telling people you were kidnapped. But I'm going to make everything fine, don't you worry," he said, and Tina could hear the threat laced within each word. She already knew what he was capable of, and considering how he had managed to get police officers to believe him over her, she didn't doubt that he would make this worse for her if she didn't obey him.

With no other option, Tina fearfully allowed her captor to guide her out of the police station and into the car that began this whole ordeal for her. He placed her in the back and as he walked around the car to get to the drivers' side, she tried to open one of the doors only to find that they had been locked, presumably with the child lock. She didn't know what to say the entire ride back to her prison and her captor didn't once open his mouth, leaving her to hold her knees tightly to her chest as she watched her freedom slip from her fingers. She contemplated running when he opened the door but to her horror, he pulled into a garage that closed as he turned the car off. All she could do was cry as she was forced into the house.

Before she could even attempt to get away, he hit her with such force that she fell to the ground, clutching her face that burned from the impact. "I'm sorry!" she bawled.

"Did you really think I was that stupid? You are never getting away from me," he hissed, kicking her in the ribs harshly, making her cry out in pain. "I am smarter than you, Tina. I am stronger than you, and if you ever try to escape from me again, I will break your leg." As an emphasis, he stood on her ankle and applied enough pressure for her to see just how easy it would be for him.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered.

"You will be sorry."

All Tina could do was cover her head with her arms as he continued to deliver heavy kicks, inflicting more pain to her already battered body. When he stopped he kicked her onto her back and straddled her again, gripping her hair tightly to make her look at him. "You just had to choose the hard way, didn't you? This is all your fault and until you understand that you are mine, you will continue to learn the hard way."

Before she could beg for mercy, he pulled out a syringe from inside his jacket and held her head to the side as he injected it into her neck. The last thing she saw was his face hovering over hers before she lost consciousness.