Scars Don't Heal When You Keep Cutting

When we finally get to my house, my mom was waiting in the living room, worried on the spot. She rushes over to us when she sees us walk in. She squishes me in a hug, kissing me on the forehead as she does.

“You should’ve told me you guys were leaving! I was worried since you usually do,” she sighs, letting me go.

“Sorry, Mom,” I apologize. She smiles warmly at me before looking to Ben. Her smile fades away and replaces it with a frown.

“Ben, honey, what happened to your cheek?” she asks. “It looks like it hurt.”

“Oh, uh, my dad accidentally hit me this morning.”

I know that his response from this morning was a lie now, of course.

“I’m gonna bring Ben to my room, now,” I say. “Love you, Mom.”

“Love you too, Danny! Bye, Ben!”

“Bye,” Ben says softly as he follows me upstairs to my room. I lock the door behind me and turn to Ben.

“Alright, Ben. How did you get that bruise under your eye? ” I ask him, crossing my arms.

“I told you, Danny. My dad hit me.”

“Yeah, you also said it was an accident. Now, is that the truth?” He doesn’t say anything. He just stares at me.

“So, is that a no?” He nods slowly.

“So, you’re abused at home?” I whisper sadly, dreading the answer to come. Tears well up in his eyes as he nods. My heart just about shatters into a million pieces and I open my arms, asking if he wanted a hug. He walks over to me and wraps his arms around me, squeezing me in a hug. I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him closer. He winces, and I loosen my grip a bit.

“Sorry,” I apologize.

“It’s fine.”

We stand there in the middle of the room, just hugging each other, allowing me to let this sink in.

“Benny?” I ask when I’m done thinking for now.

“Yeah?”

“How long?” I ask as I start to stroke his soft hair again. “How long have they been treating you this way?”

We stood in silence for about a good ten seconds before he replied. “Uh, around two years.”

“That’s fucking unacceptable,” I growl, making him flinch. He buries his face into my chest and mumbles something into it.

“You know I don’t want you over there, right?” I tell him. He nods his head.

“But what can you do about it, Danny?” he whispers, pulling his head up a bit so I could understand him.

“Make sure you don’t go back. You can stay here. Even Sam’s house if you can’t stay here,” I answer him seriously.

“I gotta go back eventually. I mean, my stuff’s still there.”

“Well, I’ll go get it tomorrow or something.”

“What about your parents? I don’t wanna intrude.” I shake my head, even though he can’t see it.

“They love you, Ben. You’re like another son to them,” I answer truthfully.

“But we don’t know each other…”

“So? They love you.”

Silence.

“Well, where would I sleep?” he asks me, finally looking up at me. I smile.

“You could sleep where you slept on Monday; in my bed with me!” I cheer as I move my arms from his waist to tickle his sides instead. He squeals and giggles as he tries to get away, and I swear he’s smiling!

I quickly grab his face and lift it back up, making him wince in pain. He already stopped smiling though. The bastard saw it coming, huh?

“I’m not letting you see my smile,” Ben informs me before I could even open my mouth to ask.

“You will one day, though, right?”

“Doubt it.”

“Benji, why won’t you let me see your smile?”

“It’s ugly. Very, very ugly Yours is nice though,” he says, pushing the corner of my lips up with a callused finger.

“You like my smile?” I ask him, thinking up a plan.

“Yeah,” he says, taking his hand down.

“Well, I won’t let you see my smile if you don’t let me see yours!” He groans and removes his arms from me and drags his feet over to the bed, allowing himself to fall onto it, burying his face into the pillow.

“But I’m hiding an ugly smile! You’re hiding a beautiful one!” he whines into the pillow. I smirk and walk over to him, plopping down on top of him, causing him to groan. He starts thrashing around, trying to throw me off.

“Danny! You’re heavy!” he cries.

“Let me see your smile!” I sing, pinning his arms down so he’ll stop hitting me as much.

“But Danny!” he cries again.

“But Benji!” I mock his tone.

“You’re gonna be sad when I die from being asphyxiated! And you’re gonna have to live with the guilt forever because you’ll know it was all your fault!” he cries again.

“I know! Isn’t it tragic?” I cry with him, laughing on the inside.

“Danny!” he cries loudly, dragging my name out. “It hurts! It hurts! Please get off of me! I’ll smile!” I guiltily roll off of him so I’m laying next to him. I wait for him to catch his breath as he rolls onto his side to face me. His face was really red.

Shit, at least he’s letting me see his smile, I guess.

When he finally catches his breath, he speaks up. “I’m not letting you see my smile, I just didn’t want you to kill me.” I frown, but replace it with a smirk.

“I’ll have to force you to smile, then,” I mutter. He cocks an eyebrow.

“What?” Instead of answering, I begin tickling him again.

It does make him smile, but I still didn’t get to see it.

His hands fly up to his mouth, covering his smile.

But maybe it’ll still be there when I pull them down.

I tickle him for a few more seconds before yanking his hands down.

And I finally see it.

:)