Scars Don't Heal When You Keep Cutting

My alarm goes off abruptly, scaring the shit out of me which causes Ben to stir. I’ve been awake for a minute now, so I was already awake and staring at Ben as I waited for the alarm to go off.

“That thing’s so fucking obnoxious,” he says as he sits up and rubs the sleep from his eyes as I move to turn it off.

“Yeah. You excited about going to Sam’s house today?” I ask a bit sadly. I’d love for him to stay here instead, but I don’t want my parents getting too suspicious.

“I’m not really excited, but I’m sure I’ll have fun,” he answers and looks at me. “I wish I could stay here instead, though,” he tells me with a smile.

His smile is so fucking pretty… But it never quite reaches his eyes. His tired, yet beautiful eyes.

“Well, let’s get ready for school,” I say as I get out of bed and walk over to my closet. I pull out a random outfit and my boots and grab Ben’s shoes for him while I’m at it. I toss him his shoes and work on getting dressed.

“Oh, Ben! Sunday’s wash day! Do you want us to wash your hoodie? You’ve been wearing it for who knows how long!” I offer. He merely shakes his head.

“No, it’s fine,” he answers sweetly as I pull on my shirt. I’m now dressed for school, so I comb my fingers through my hair and go downstairs to the kitchen. I open up the snack cabinet and get a pack of skittles and stuff it into my pocket.

“Good morning, Daniel,” my dad’s sleepy voice yawns from the kitchen doorway.

“Morning, Dad,” I answer, rolling my eyes at the use of my actual name.

“Morning, Danny!” my mom get’s it right when she approaches too.

“Morning, Mom,” I say as I make my way back upstairs and into my room again. I see Ben awkwardly standing in the middle of my room, looking around.

“You got what you need for Sam’s house?” I ask him, gaining his attention.

“Yeah, I mean, it really isn’t anything much.”

He’s right. He really doesn’t have a lot of clothes at all. I plan on buying him more clothes when I manage to get some money from my parents. I bet he’d love that.

“Okay, just making sure. You ready?” I ask him. He nods and grabs both of our bags and gives me mine. I nod and smile a thanks before he follows me out of the house.

<><><>

“I don’t wanna go to the party, Danny,” Ben whispers next to me. I sigh.

“Don’t worry, you’ll enjoy yourself!” I tell him again. He shakes his head.

“I don’t like parties,” he says sadly.

“Awh, Sam’ll be with you the whole time!” I try to comfort him. “Hey, and if I see you, I’ll hang with you too!”

“You promise?” he asks.

“Promise.”

We sit silently as we wait for Trenton to figure out the answer to a problem Ben and I got stuck on.

“Done!” Trenton finally chirps as he finishes the last problem.

“Sweet!” I cheer, leaning across the table to see his work. “What’s the answer?”

“It’s D!” he chirps again. I get back in my seat and fill in the answer for me and Ben.

“So, I’ll turn in the packets,” I say as I stand and collect all three of our packets and take them to Ms. King. She smiles when she sees me approach.

“You guys always finish early,” Ms. King giggles.

“Yeah, that’s because we got our work done instead of talking and fooling around,” I say as she takes the work out of our hands. She laughs a bit, making me smile wider.

“That’s pretty surprising, considering the fact you have little Trenton in that group! He’s always running his mouth!”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” I chuckle.

“Well, I think we’re disturbing the class. We can talk more at lunch if you’d like?” she asks sweetly. I look around the room a bit. People were staring at us. I look back to the young teacher and nod.

I turn back around and walk back to Trenton and Ben. As I approach, I see Trenton slip him a note.

“What’s that?” I ask as I take my seat next to Ben.

“It’s a note, duh,” Ben says as he puts it in his pocket, saving it for later, knowing that I’d try to read it. I roll my eyes at his smart remarks.

“I know that,” I tell him before turning to Trenton, “but what does it say?”

“Oh, uh, one of my friends gave it to me to give it to him,” he tells me with a smile.

“Alright,” I say as I sit at my desk next to Ben.

I’m checking that note later if I get a chance.

<><><>

“Mom! Dad! I’m home!” I shout as I step in the house, closing and locking the door behind me. It was kinda weird walking in without Ben by my side, but it’s only gonna be this way two days of the week. I guess that’s both a good and a bad thing.

I decide on taking a nap until it’s time for the party, since I’m already ready to go. I sigh and set my alarm before throwing myself in bed.

This place without Ben is boring as fuck.