Scars Don't Heal When You Keep Cutting

I walk into the cafeteria, Ben right next to me with his head held low. I wasn't gonna be eating school lunch, so I just brought a granola bar for lunch. I'd eat it as soon as I figured out where to sit-

"Hey, new kid! Worsnop!" someone shouts from the table closest to the door I was still standing at. He's in my math class, Ms. King's class. In fact, all the boys at that table are in that class. That's probably how they know my name, considering the fact that Ms. King calls us by our last names. I turn to Ben for a second, his head still down and staring at his shoes.

"Wait here for a second," I tell him and walk over to the waving teenagers at the table before he could even reply. The boys at the table smile huge at me when I approach. They gave me weird vibes, but I ignored them and carried on. Shouldn’t judge someone before you get to know them.

"You can sit here if you want," the one that called me over offers. See? He’s nice so far! I smile and nod, not forgetting Ben, of course.

"Okay, but if I sit here, my friend is too," I let them know, motioning towards where Ben should be so they know who I'm talking about. Their smiles falter, but they murmur to each other about it anyways. They chuckle and smirk through the conversation, and they look back at me.

"Sure, he can sit too," a different kid welcomes Ben to the table with me. I smile my thanks to them and walk over to Ben, who was still awkwardly standing where I left him. I grab his wrist, but he flinches and yanks it away and snaps his head up to look at me, biting his lip. His eyes meet mine as I stare at him, confused and concerned
.
"Sorry, mate. It's just me," I say calmly and motion towards the table. "We're sitting over there." He glances over my shoulder, his face goes pale before furiously shaking his head. I sigh sadly. "Come on, Ben, you can sit on the corner next to me if you want to! You don't have to say anything to them!" I try to convince him. He stays silent for a little while before nodding his head. I smile and let him follow me to the table. Of course I’m curious about why he was so reluctant, but I won’t let that bother me right now. I can just ask him later (if I even remember) since it’d be kinda rude to ask right in front of them.

I sit at the table with Ben next to me in the corner like I offered. I pull my granola bar out of my pocket and glance over at Ben, noticing his lack of food. Probably doesn't have money to buy school food, huh? I guess losing half the bar wouldn't kill me. I rip the wrapper off and break my snack in half and offer him one. He glances at the food I hold out to him, then at my face. He shakes his head, telling me he didn't want it.

"Come on, Ben, Just eat it! I broke it so you could have some!" I chuckle at him and shove the snack under his nose. He shakes his head and pushes it away.

“You eat it, Danny, it’s yours,” he tells me quietly. I sigh.

"Please? For me? I don't share food, but here I am, offering it to you!"

With a quiet sigh, he takes it. I smile triumphantly as the boy next to me taps my shoulder. I turn to him with a smile.

"Yeah?" I ask him, a bit excited about talking to someone new. He glances past me for a second, then back at me.

"I'm DJ."

"Hey, what's up?"

"That kid, Ben," he says, disgust clear in his voice. I raise an eyebrow and replace my smile with a frown, not happy at all by the way he mentions Ben's name. However, he continues, "If you really care about your reputation, shouldn't hang out with him. He's a freak." I glare at him. We just met and he’s already pissed me off.

"Fuck off," I growl at him through gritted teeth. "there's nothing wrong with him. There's something fucked up with you if you think otherwise, you fucking cunt." DJ rolls his eyes and turns back to his food, muttering something before eating another bite of the unknown slob on his plate. I try to clear the image of the greenish-brown substance with smaller yellowish stuff in it as I turn to Ben to check on him. There's no telling if he heard what DJ said or not. DJ spoke quietly, but still loud enough for Ben to hear. I notice that Ben's just sitting there, scratching something sticky off his nails. I also see that he's already eaten his half of the granola bar, while I haven't even taken a bite out of mine. I shrug and shove the whole thing in my mouth. It hurts as I swallow it. Looks like I didn't really chew it enough, and big chunks of oats and chocolate scraping and scratching it’s way down your throat is not at all a stroll through the park.

"Danny, what did he say?" Ben asks quietly after a while, not looking up at me. I sigh. I guess he didn't hear him, which is good, he just heard me.

"Don't worry about it, I took care of it," I say calmly. I don't want to tell him. It would hurt his feelings. I just know it would.

"Why can't you just tell me?" he asks as he finally looks up at me with sad eyes. "Was it about me?"
Before I know what I'm doing, I'm nodding yes. He already noticed before I could stop myself.

Good job, Danny! No one will mistake you for a genius! Trust me!

"What did he say then?" he tries again. I shake my head, letting him know that I'm not telling him anything. "I think I have a right to know if it’s about me, Danny," He sounds as if he's getting annoyed and irritated now, and I can't help but feel guilty and disappointed in myself.

"I don't want your feelings hurt, Ben," I answer quietly.

"Danny, my feelings are already hurt. I already know he said something about me again."

Again?

Before I could question it or even respond to his question, lunch is over. He shakes his head disappointedly and stands. Well, me and Ben don't have any more classes together. We only have math together, but math and lunch just isn't enough time for me to be satisfied. Maybe I could bring him over to my house after school, my parents won't mind, they don't care what I do anyways.

"Uh, bye Danny," Ben says quietly.

"Ben, ya wanna hang out after school?" I ask him quickly before he can walk away, praying that he managed to catch it. Thankfully he did as he turned around to face me and nod. I smile.

"You'll meet me at my locker?" he asks shyly, rocking back and forth on his feet, head hung low. I smile, he’s so fucking cute!

"Yeah, what's your locker number?"

"112," he says quietly. I nod, even though he can't see me.

"See you at the end of the day then," I chirp and he nods before going to his next class.