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Scars Don't Heal When You Keep Cutting
Chapter Twenty
I ended up going home since I promised Mom and Dad I’d be home before...midnight, I think it was? It doesn’t matter, I’m home and they don’t even know, since they’ve already went to bed. It’s funny because I could be piss drunk at the party and they wouldn’t know because they’re asleep.
I’ve been a little paranoid on my way home. I once had an anorexic friend, and I found out that after someone made her eat, she would lock herself in the bathroom and throw up everything she ate. What if Ben was bulimic too?
As I throw myself onto the couch, I pull my phone out of my pocket. I had a text message from Trenton.
Trenton: y did u guys leave?
Well, fuck.
me: Ben wasn’t feeling well so I brought him home to take care of him.
Trenton: oh :(
me: Sorry mate :/
Trenton: its no worries :) bye gonna txt DJ now
me: ew, DJ. bye
Trenton: awe that wasnt necessary!!!
I don’t reply to him, I pull up a text message to Ben.
me: Hey Benjiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Are you still pissed at me? :(
Almost immediately, I get a reply, making me smile wide.
My Benji <3: No
me: If you’re fat, then I’m fat too. Ok?
My Benji <3: No. Not ok.
me: Fine, keep being stubborn. I just won’t eat either. But I have a question.
My Benji <3: What’s your question?
me: Are you bulimic? Please don’t lie to me :(((
My Benji <3: No, I promise I’m not. Why?
I sigh, relieved.
me: I needed to know. I was paranoid.
My Benji <3: Why?
me: Because I care too much about you to see you hurt <3
My Benji <3: That’s sweet c:
“Ah, so you’re home!” my mom’s voice scares the shit out of me. I look up from my phone and see her walking towards me. “What’cha doing?”
“Texting Ben,” I answer as I scroll up a bit so the messages are out of view. She glances at the screen, being the nosy bitch she is.
“Oh, okay. Did you eat anything at the party?” she asks as she heads to the stairs again.
“Yeah, but thanks though,” I tell her.
“You’re welcome, honey. I’m going back to bed!” With that, she goes back upstairs, leaving me alone downstairs. She even turned the light off.
“Um...goodnight, even though you...left me in the dark…”
Nope, she didn’t turn the light back on. I was hoping she would…
I look back to my phone and tap on the message box, sending me down to the bottom text.
me: I’m going to bed now. You staying at Sam’s tomorrow or are you coming over?
My Benji <3: I wanna be with you tomorrow.
I smile and blush when I get his reply. I quickly tap a message and send it.
me: What time do you guys want me to get you?
My Benji <3: I remember where you live, I’ll just go to you.
me: You sure?
My Benji <3: Positive. Go to bed now ^-^
me: Kk, night buddy
My Benji <3: Night!
Since I’m too lazy to get up and go upstairs to my room, I decide to crash on the couch for the night. I turn my phone off and toss it on the floor and watch it the best I could in the dark as it slides to the middle of the room. Great, what if I want it in the middle of the night? I’ll have to get up and get it myself. Nah, I like sleep better. I roll my eyes at myself as I drift off into Benworld again, because Benworld is awesome like that.
<><><>
I wake up when something is dropped on me. I groan and push the object off of me, sending it to the floor with a soft thump.
“Stop putting stuff on me,” I groan as I bury my face into the cushion of the couch.
“That hurt, Danny.”
I jump up when I realize who the voice belonged to.
“I’m sorry, Ben! I didn’t know it was you!” I cry as I pull him off the floor and into a hug.
“It’s okay, I’m not mad at you,” he assures me. “But you’re gonna be mad at me.”
I give him a serious look, even though he can’t see it.
“What did you do, Ben?” I ask sternly.
“I...kinda, um...went to my house,” he trails off.
God fucking damn it.
“Fuck, did they hurt you?” I ask, pulling him closer to me. He shrugs.
“They pulled my hair and scratched me a bit when I tried to escape, which I did, obviously. I’m fine, don’t worry, Danny.”
“Why’d you go back?” I ask him. He shrugs again awkwardly.
“You left my guitar at home,” he answers me, “I went to go get it.”
“Ben, if you wanted your guitar, you should’ve at least told me.”
“Sorry, Danny. I knew you’d be asleep at that time and I know you love your sleep, so I just went alone.”
“But Ben! You’re a thousand times more important than sleeping! What if something happened to you? I’d go crazy!”
“I’m sorry, Danny,” he mutters quietly with a sigh. “But I’m okay, isn’t that good?”
I smile at him.
“Yeah, buddy. But promise me you won’t ever go back there.”
“I promise, Danny.”
I’ve been a little paranoid on my way home. I once had an anorexic friend, and I found out that after someone made her eat, she would lock herself in the bathroom and throw up everything she ate. What if Ben was bulimic too?
As I throw myself onto the couch, I pull my phone out of my pocket. I had a text message from Trenton.
Trenton: y did u guys leave?
Well, fuck.
me: Ben wasn’t feeling well so I brought him home to take care of him.
Trenton: oh :(
me: Sorry mate :/
Trenton: its no worries :) bye gonna txt DJ now
me: ew, DJ. bye
Trenton: awe that wasnt necessary!!!
I don’t reply to him, I pull up a text message to Ben.
me: Hey Benjiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Are you still pissed at me? :(
Almost immediately, I get a reply, making me smile wide.
My Benji <3: No
me: If you’re fat, then I’m fat too. Ok?
My Benji <3: No. Not ok.
me: Fine, keep being stubborn. I just won’t eat either. But I have a question.
My Benji <3: What’s your question?
me: Are you bulimic? Please don’t lie to me :(((
My Benji <3: No, I promise I’m not. Why?
I sigh, relieved.
me: I needed to know. I was paranoid.
My Benji <3: Why?
me: Because I care too much about you to see you hurt <3
My Benji <3: That’s sweet c:
“Ah, so you’re home!” my mom’s voice scares the shit out of me. I look up from my phone and see her walking towards me. “What’cha doing?”
“Texting Ben,” I answer as I scroll up a bit so the messages are out of view. She glances at the screen, being the nosy bitch she is.
“Oh, okay. Did you eat anything at the party?” she asks as she heads to the stairs again.
“Yeah, but thanks though,” I tell her.
“You’re welcome, honey. I’m going back to bed!” With that, she goes back upstairs, leaving me alone downstairs. She even turned the light off.
“Um...goodnight, even though you...left me in the dark…”
Nope, she didn’t turn the light back on. I was hoping she would…
I look back to my phone and tap on the message box, sending me down to the bottom text.
me: I’m going to bed now. You staying at Sam’s tomorrow or are you coming over?
My Benji <3: I wanna be with you tomorrow.
I smile and blush when I get his reply. I quickly tap a message and send it.
me: What time do you guys want me to get you?
My Benji <3: I remember where you live, I’ll just go to you.
me: You sure?
My Benji <3: Positive. Go to bed now ^-^
me: Kk, night buddy
My Benji <3: Night!
Since I’m too lazy to get up and go upstairs to my room, I decide to crash on the couch for the night. I turn my phone off and toss it on the floor and watch it the best I could in the dark as it slides to the middle of the room. Great, what if I want it in the middle of the night? I’ll have to get up and get it myself. Nah, I like sleep better. I roll my eyes at myself as I drift off into Benworld again, because Benworld is awesome like that.
<><><>
I wake up when something is dropped on me. I groan and push the object off of me, sending it to the floor with a soft thump.
“Stop putting stuff on me,” I groan as I bury my face into the cushion of the couch.
“That hurt, Danny.”
I jump up when I realize who the voice belonged to.
“I’m sorry, Ben! I didn’t know it was you!” I cry as I pull him off the floor and into a hug.
“It’s okay, I’m not mad at you,” he assures me. “But you’re gonna be mad at me.”
I give him a serious look, even though he can’t see it.
“What did you do, Ben?” I ask sternly.
“I...kinda, um...went to my house,” he trails off.
God fucking damn it.
“Fuck, did they hurt you?” I ask, pulling him closer to me. He shrugs.
“They pulled my hair and scratched me a bit when I tried to escape, which I did, obviously. I’m fine, don’t worry, Danny.”
“Why’d you go back?” I ask him. He shrugs again awkwardly.
“You left my guitar at home,” he answers me, “I went to go get it.”
“Ben, if you wanted your guitar, you should’ve at least told me.”
“Sorry, Danny. I knew you’d be asleep at that time and I know you love your sleep, so I just went alone.”
“But Ben! You’re a thousand times more important than sleeping! What if something happened to you? I’d go crazy!”
“I’m sorry, Danny,” he mutters quietly with a sigh. “But I’m okay, isn’t that good?”
I smile at him.
“Yeah, buddy. But promise me you won’t ever go back there.”
“I promise, Danny.”