Scars Don't Heal When You Keep Cutting

I'm woken up around six in the morning when my phone starts ringing. I quickly glance at both Ben and Raeven to see if my phone woke them up too, but surprisingly, they're still sleeping peacefully.

I grab my phone with a groan of frustration and look to the screen, my eyes widening a little in surprise when I see my dad's contact across the screen.

I answer the call with a heavy heart and hold it up to my ear. "Yes?"

"Hey, Daniel," my father's hoarse voice speaks from the other line. "How are you?"

"Are you seriously asking me this after kicking me out less than twelve hours ago?" comes my dry response, being sure to speak in a hushed tone so I don't wake anyone.

"Your mother kicked you out, Daniel," he's quick to defend myself, which is fucking petty, if you ask me.

"Okay, but you didn't stop it from happening," I retort, and he doesn't say anything else. I speak again after another moment of silence passes by. "Why did you call me?"

"Look, Daniel, what your mother did last night was completely unreasonable. I honestly don't care that you're gay, or that you're dating another boy. I just don't want you following in Ben's footsteps."

"I won't, I'm trying to help him get better. Doing the same stuff he's doing won't help him at all. You should trust me more, Dad."

He's quiet again for a moment, and I take it as a bad sign. I open my mouth to speak, but he beats me to it.

"You're right, Daniel. You're a smart kid, and you're almost an adult. You should be able to make your own decisions."

"Wow. Thanks. That means so much," and maybe my sarcasm wasn't necessary at all, but he seems unfazed by it as he continues to speak.

"Anyways, I talked to your mother. Come home, and bring Ben so I can talk to him, but just give your mother some space, yeah?"

Now it's my turn to bring a moment of silence into this conversation as I consider his offer.

"I'll think about it."

"Okay. Talk to you later, Daniel," he says, and I can faintly hear disappointment behind his words, but I shrug it off as I mumble a simple response before the call disconnects.

I'm having mixed emotions about this whole fucking situation. I honestly don't want to go back to that house at all, but I can't stay at Raeven's forever, so what fucking choice do I have?

I brood about it until I hear an alarm go off on Raeven's phone, but she and Ben continue snoozing happily, unaware to the alarm going off. These kids are some heavy ass sleepers, because holy shit, how do they not hear it??

I take it upon myself to just wake them up myself since Raeven's alarm couldn't do the job. I start with Ben first, obviously, since he's curled up against me.

I look down at the sleeping mass of human, who had his head on my chest as he clung onto me in his sleep. The sight is so precious and pure that I almost decide to just watch him sleep and make him miss school right along with me, but then I remember the alarm still ringing out obnoxiously, and honestly, Ben would probably hate me for making him miss school.

So, I gently shake his shoulder until he lets out a groggy groan, his eyes fluttering open and briefly scanning his surroundings.

"Morning, ass cheeks," I greet him cheerily, who, still half asleep, sends me a confused look.

"Ass cheeks?"

"Yeah, and Ass Cheeks has to get ready for school. Up," I say, coaxing him into sitting up before getting off the air mattress and heading towards Raeven.

I grip her shoulder and give it a rough shove, waking her instantly.

"The fuck?" she asks sleepily, temporarily dazed. It only takes a short moment for her to wake up, and she shrugs my hand off of her arm as she sits up, grabbing at her alarm.

"Worthless piece of nothing," she spits at the device in her hands as she turns it off. "Thanks for waking me up, Danny."

"I didn't wanna hear the alarm anymore," I tease, earning a feigned look of irritation from the girl. "But anyways, my dad called me a little while ago."

"Why?" she asks, raising a concerned brow at me.

"He said he wants me and Ben to go back over, so I guess we'll head over after you guys get back from school."

"Okay. If something happens, you're more than welcome to come back, and I'm sure the others won't mind taking you in as well," Raeven offers before waving me off. "Now shoo, I gotta get dressed."

<><><>

Ben and I are both quiet as we both walk back to my house. Neither of us wanted to be there right now or any time soon, but sometimes you can't run away from what's stressing you out, unfortunately.

I still have my key to the house, so I use it to unlock the door, letting Ben in first before entering myself, locking the door behind me.

Both of my parents are sitting on the couch and watching tv when we walk into the living room. My mom completely ignores us as she continues to gaze apathetically at the tv, but my dad offers a kind smile.

"It's good to have you home, Daniel," my dad greets me before aiming his next words to Ben. "Let me talk to you for a minute."

Ben nods anxiously as my dad stands, leading him into the kitchen, leaving me to stand awkwardly in the living room with my mom. I decide to sit where my dad was sitting on the couch a second ago, my mother still refusing to even breathe in my direction.

It's awkward as fuck, and I wish my dad would hurry up and finish talking to Ben so I'm not alone with my mother anymore.

After another agonizing moment goes by, I risk a glance in my mother’s direction, the exact same time she does the same to me, and our eyes meet. She looks stressed out and guilty as she lets out a soft sigh.

"I'm sorry I reacted the way I did, that wasn't okay," she whispers, averting her eyes sheepishly. "But, um... It really hit me how wrong I was when you mentioned us losing you. You're my son, and as your mother, I'm supposed to love you unconditionally and be there for you no matter what. I mean, what kind of mother would I be if I didn't?"

"A crappy one, honestly," I say, and she rolls her eyes playfully at me.

"I love you so much, Danny. Even though you like boys," she says, and this is exactly why I can't take this woman seriously, because she always has to make a joke out of everything.

I love it.

<><><>

I chilled with my mom for the rest of the day to try and get rid of any trace of negativity left from the argument. It's still a little awkward, and I think it might be for a while, but I'm okay with that. It's better than being out of each other's lives after all this time, especially with how close we were prior.

Ben had told me that my dad gave him that typical speech dads tell their daughter's boyfriends, and I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous that is, but I guess I appreciate my dad looking out for me.

(an: okay the rest of this chapter is from the original story two years ago)

It was about time to go to bed, so I had Ben in my arms in the dark room, trying to fall asleep since Ben was already slightly snoring his cute little snores. I watch the sleeping beauty as I move the hair that fell over his face behind his ear, so I could see it. He’s honestly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. The sweetest, cutest thing ever.

He hasn’t seen himself the way I do. He thought he was ugly, fat, had a horrible smile, stupid, a freak, worthless, but he was anything but. I mean, yeah, he did have some flaws, but who doesn’t? His imperfections make him perfect, as thousands of people said about the ones they loved.

He snuggles closer to me in his sleep, making me awe. He was just too adorable. I pet his face like he was a cat, liking how soft and smooth his face was. He had very soft skin, and I loved that.

I smell his hair, enjoying the scent of it. I’m probably being really creepy, but oh fucking well.

I kiss his forehead, making him stir a bit. His eyes flutter open and he looks up at me with a small smile.

“Sorry I woke you,” I tell him quietly.

“It’s okay, babe,” he tells me.

“Go ahead and go back to sleep, okay?”

“You go to sleep too, okay?”

“Alright, goodnight,”

“Night.”

With that, his eyes close once again and he’s snoring. I smile and wrap my arms around him and pull him as close to me as possible.

I start to think about the past few weeks, the weeks I’ve been here. I had to go through a decent amount of bullshit, but hey, it was worth it! I mean, I met Ben, Sam, Cam, Drooms, Raeven, Logan, and Ariel! Ms. King’s really great, too!

Some of the worst things that’s ever happened to me has happened because I moved here, but it was worth it.

Because I also got the best thing that’s ever happened to me,

Ben.