Broken Soldier

I opened my eyes and groaned as the bright sunlight infiltrated my eyes. Why did the sun have to be so damn bright? I stretched feeling every muscle start to wake up and heard a few joints crack. God I was getting old. Never thought I would worry about how my joints would feel in the mornings. I closed my eyes once more and snuggled into my sofa but something felt off. I opened one eye to see what was wrong. First off, I’m sleeping on my sofa. Oh wait. Movie last night. Something about Titanic and Jeremy was over watching it with-. Jeremy!

I sat up quickly and looked around. The clock on the wall showed it was past noon and my growling stomach showed me it was past feeding time. Where did that man go? I looked around and listened some more. There wasn’t a sound throughout the entire house. How did I not hear him get up and leave? Better yet, how did I not FEEL him leave since I was sleeping on top of him? I blushed yet smiled at the memory of how we fit so perfectly into each other and how normal it felt. Then I remembered what led to that I moment and my smile vanished. Fucking Evelyn.

I just ended up sighing and getting up. I stretched one more time before walking towards my kitchen to make myself some coffee. I stood there watching the brown liquid drop down into my favorite coffee cup. It was a cup from Disney and it had a bunch of Mickey Mouse head shapes all over it but the heads had no face and were all different animal prints. I added my milk and sugar walking now to my bathroom to take a shower. I looked at myself in the mirror and I looked terrible. My wavy dark hair was still in the messy bun I had thrown it in last night and I was still wearing my dress. That amazing V line in the front was a little too far to the left and I blushed hoping Jeremy hadn’t seen that. That would have been embarrassing.

I quickly undressed and hoped into the nice warm water. As it poured over me I sighed in content. It felt good that was for sure. I looked at my bruised knuckles and tried to close my hand. I quickly ended that because it hurt too much. At least it wasn’t my dominate hand that was hurt. I needed that for painting.

“God gave me you for the ups and downnnns! God gave me you for the days of doubt.” I started to sing Blake Shelton as I washed my hair with the shampoo. “There's more here than what we're seeing. A divine conspiracy. That you, an angel lovely, could somehow fall for me. You'll always be love's great martyr and I'll be the flattered fool and I need you.”

By the time I finished with my shower I was already singing the same song for the third time. I wiped my mirror of the fog that covered it and brushed my teeth. I finished that and wrapped my long hair up into the towel and went to walk out of my bathroom towards my bedroom still singing. “On my own I'm only half of what I could be. I can't do without you. We are stitched together and what love has tethered I pray we never undo.”

And then I walked right into Jeremy.

I screamed and fell backwards as Jeremy stood there frozen in shock. He quietly turned around and I saw how his entire neck was turning red with embarrassment. God damn it! My heart was racing way to fast but I couldn’t move off of the floor. I needed to buy a guard dog or something because if this had been someone else I would have been screwed. Then I realized Jeremy had just seen me naked. For the first time ever and It wasn’t when were having sex. I hung my head in embarrassment as well and cursed under my breath.

“What the fuck Jer! I thought you left! You could have called out or something to let me know you were here!” I undid the towel from my head and wrapped it around my body.
I saw his shoulders shrink from my yelling but all he did was hold up a Dunkin Donuts box that held a variety of different donuts. “I brought breakfast.”

He said that so sheepishly I had to stop myself from laughing. Why couldn’t I stay mad at him for more than 5 minutes? I mumbled under my breath how I should kill him but instead I walked around him still in my towel towards my bedroom. “You know where everything is. Go wait out in the living room.”

He stood frozen for a few seconds before he complied and left without a word. I closed my door and groaned. In all the years we had been friends not once had we ever seen each other naked. In bathing suits yes but never naked. He was too much of a gentleman to do that and I was too much of a prude to let anyone see me naked unless we were in a relationship. That just all went to hell.
I put on an oversized T-Shirt and some shorts that were covered by the large shirt and left my hair the way it was. This he’s seen me in plenty of times. I counted to ten in my head and took a few deep breaths before walking out. Jeremy wasn’t in the kitchen or living room. His truck was still outside but he wasn’t out there either. I walked to the second bedroom and saw him staring at a painting that I had been working on. It was an underwater scene with two turtles swimming side by side. What was different about this picture was that you got the sense that the turtles were mates and were swimming side by side basically going into the sunset kind of thing. It sounds lame but I painted it so well that you could see every crease, wrinkle, crack in the shell, and almost taste the sea water as you stared at it. It almost looked like it was a photograph. A museum in a city a few miles away was paying me for it so they could decorate a wall with it in their sea life exhibit. They were giving me good money for it as well. I walked up behind him as he continued to stare at it.

“Like it?” I asked him as he turned to me. His face was still slightly red but he was returning back to normal.

“It’s amazing London. How did you learn to paint like this? It’s like I’m swimming with them right now.”

“I just randomly started drawing one day and found out I was good at it. Then it became a hobby, then a passion, and now my job to make a living.” I shrugged. Too me they were no big deal. Whatever I painted always seemed to portray what I had been feeling at the very moment. “Hopefully one day I can paint enough to fill an exhibit that’s completely dedicated to may work.”

“I can see that happening.” He said giving me a small smile. I looked away and towards my picture once more before turning away. I felt Jeremy’s eyes on me and I blushed a little at the thought but never looked back.

We had breakfast together that morning, or rather afternoon since it was already almost 2. Apparently the Wicked Witch had a photoshoot all day and Jer decided to just hang out with me. Evelyn was a ‘model’ how was constantly out doing God knew what. I swear she lied about what she was doing half the time. Sure she was actually a small time model but I knew she wouldn’t go anywhere and be big. She just didn’t have the ‘IT’ factor that you saw with most real time models but hey you never know.

He sat at my table quietly chewing slowly with a look that showed he was concentrating too much. I watched him for another minute before I finally spoke up. “Is everything okay?”

He looked up at me and nodded his head. He swallowed what was in his mouth and started to grab at something in his pocket. “I wanted to show you something.”

He took out a small velvet box and I nearly choked on my donut. I quickly took a gulp of my coffee. “What the hell is that?”

He opened it and inside was a beautiful diamond engagement ring that sparkled like a thousand suns were in it. I looked up at him with my eyes widen in shock. “I’m gonna propose to Evelyn. This weekend. I’m taking her out to that restaurant she loves so much and I’m going to ask her stay with me for the rest of my life.”

“Jeremy, you’ve only know her for a year and dated her for 9 months. Isn’t it as little too soon?” I felt my world crashing around me as my breathing started to get labored. I would keep it together. I had to keep it together.

“Well if someone like her could love me after everything that happened to me then I want to keep her in my life.” He said smiling like it was the most obvious thing. But I wanted someone like him in my life. Did what I want me nothing? I've been there for him since before he could even spell marriage but apparently I wasn't good enough. I suddenly wished I had never met Jeremy because this was the worst pain I had ever felt in my life.

“Jer don’t you see she just uses you? You do EVERYTHING she wants you to do without question. She got popular with her group of friends because she ‘was so kind hearted’ and ‘amazing’ for giving you the time of day because of your legs. When she goes shopping she makes sure to announce to the manager about you and she gets discounts and free things because she’s with you. Jeremy you’re making a mistake here. As your best friend please listen to me when I tell you NOT to do this.” I was almost begging. I have never told him all of this before because I figured he would see it eventually and leave her. I guess he was so dumb this entire time.

He blinked at me and I saw he was getting angry but I didn’t care. He had to listen me. “That’s not cool London. Why would you make something like that up?”

My mouth dropped open in shock at him saying I was a liar. “You’re kidding right?”

He stood up snapping the little box shut. “I think it’s time that I left. Evelyn will be getting off soon.”

“Yes, I think that would be wise.” I said harshly. He flinched at my words and then kept walking slamming my front door behind himself. I screamed in frustration and stood up knocking my chair backwards. This couldn’t be happening. This could NOT be happening!

I thought back to the first time I met Evelyn. Jeremy had brought her over to my house as ‘a surprise’ that he was officially getting better. She took one look at me and a scowl covered her pretty face. I raised my eyebrow in question at her and let them in. Throughout the entire night Evelyn keep trying to one up me whenever Jer or I said something that we found funny that we did she would start off with ‘Well, Jeremy remember when we did-.’ I wanted to vomit then just like I did now. When Jer left for the bathroom she turned to me all fake smiles gone.

“Listen. I’m going to let you ruin this for me.” She started off and I held up my hands in defense.

“What the hell did I ruin?”

“Jeremy doesn’t need any other woman in his life. Especially not you. He’s all mine and I won’t let you take him from me. I WILL ruin you.”

I felt my face heat up with rage as I was about to fight back when Jeremy walked back out. Evelyn threw a smile back on her face and started laughing like were the best of friends talking about some inside joke. Let’s just say that night ended real quick.

I walked into my painting room and quickly removed the turtle painting from it before I slammed the door shut and just started screaming and throwing anything and everything. A paint can slammed into the side of the closest in there. I snapped my easel in half and threw the different broken pieces around. I felt the tears running down my face in streams but I didn’t give two shits. I kept destroying the room with no remorse and eventually when all my anger ran out I just slid to the floor in a ball and sobbed my heart out.

I had officially just lost the love of my life.