Status: Hope you enjoy this! This is an original story that I am working on. Please let me know what you think!

Broken Soldier

You Don't Know Her Like I Do

He kept to his word and proposed to her that weekend. When he broke the news to his family apparently they were shocked but said congratulations anyways. People were blowing up my phone and texting me over and over again but I never bothered to answer anyone. Eventually Michael came over and practically kicked down the door like he was back at war. My house was beyond a wreck with everything thrown everywhere, I hadn’t eaten in days and there were empty bottles covering every inch of my counter. I had thought I was run dry with my tears but the moment Michael slammed the door open and looked at me I burst out sobbing yet again and he ran over to me pulling me into his embrace. I clung to him needing someone to help me get over this and he was just the right person. I just didn’t let him know that. I had always found it funny that everyone else knew how I felt about Jeremy but he never had a damn clue.

“Shh! It’s gonna be okay London. Calm down please.” He kept whispering to me but I only shook my head. It was never going to be okay again. I felt like someone had grabbed a knife and plunged it into my heart twisting it slowly. The person who stabbed me had the face of Evelyn and Jeremy was standing behind her with a blank face watching us.

“Mike! Is she in ther-.” Taylor, Jeremy’s older sister, walked in and gasped at the disarray of my house. Anyone who knew me knew that I was a mess because even for an artist I was a neat freak and I don’t think anything I have ever owned ever looked this messy. Taylor saw me sobbing on the floor and crouched down besides us as Michael continued to hold me tightly. Taylor grabbed my hand and just held on not saying a word. She knew no words could make this better.

“How long do you think she’s been like this?” Taylor asked worried as I finally stopped crying and just sat there staring at the wall blankly. Michael took a second to think.

“Our moron for a brother told her on Monday so that would be five days ago. I think she may have started all this the second he left. He said he heard things breaking but they had just gotten into a fight so he didn’t go back in. He’s such a fool.” Michael whispered looking down at me sadly. “She’s basically broken.”

“I can only imagine.” Taylor said looking away from us. I didn’t even care that they were talking about me like I wasn’t even there. Sleep. I just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again. Taylor smoothed out my greasy dirty hair before she got up and started trying to clean my house. Michael stopped her and told her to take me to the bathroom and help wash me off so that I would at least cry all over my clean body. Taylor helped pull me to my feet and I just absentmindedly walked with her not caring if she took me to the bathroom or pushed me off a cliff.

She started stripping off my clothes after turning on the hot water for a bath. I helped me in and as I sat there she started cleaning my hair by gently letting the water out of a cup onto my head like I was a new born infant. She was humming to me like a child as well and I felt such love for these two. Michael was like my big brother growing up always trying to keep me out of trouble and making sure no one ever messed with me. Taylor was like a second mother always taking care of me like she was doing now. She always had a maternal instinct in her so when she actually became a mother no one worried it would be too much. She was the perfect mother to her two kids. It was then I realized I would never be able to have kids. My biological clock was ticking and I was almost out of time. I had waited and wait for Jeremy to be with me for so long that I figured it would one day happen. Now that it didn’t I didn’t know what to do with me life.

More tears silently fell down my cheek and Taylor wiped it away. When she was down she took me out, dried me off, and put clean clothes on me leading me into my room and laying me down. I just curled into a ball and hugged my pillow to my chest. She pulled the covers up to my chin and kissed my forehead.

“Does he even care about me anymore?” I whispered as she started to walk away. My voice was hoarse from all the crying, screaming and then not using it at all for a few days. She looked back at me with a sad smile.

“He does sweetie. He tried calling but you never answered. Eventually he got worried you were just ignoring him and sent us. He does care. He’s just a fool for picking the wrong girl to give all his love and affection to. No one was happy when he announced the news. Especially not Michael who almost wanted to punch him. You would have laughed had you been there. The cursing and names calling being thrown around was astounding. Poor mom and dad I thought were going to have a heart attack. But it is his choice and there is nothing we can do.” I merely nodded and closed my eyes holding back any further questions and tears.

She closed the door with a soft click and soon the talking in the living room ceased. Either they finally left or they were sleeping on my sofa and chair out in the living room. I got up anyways and walked to the second bedroom where Michael had yet to get to to clean for me. I didn’t care.

I grabbed a new canvas from out of the closest and more paint that I had yet to ruin and went to work clearing my mind. I didn’t even have to think about what I wanted to create. My mind just took over my body and soon the picture starting to form before me was a perfect rendition of what I was feeling. I painted all throughout the night and soon the sun was rising and I was still working on the painting. The door creaked open behind me and I didn’t bother turning around.

“London? Someone is here to-. Oh no.” Taylor’s voice sounded through my ears but again I didn’t turn around. I smelled him before I saw him. Jeremy was standing behind me quietly as I continued to paint away my feelings. No one said a word as I finished it up and took a step back to evaluate it. It had to be my best picture to date.

It was night time in the photo and it showed a girl with her back to the sky leaning against a tree that was swaying in the wind with tears running down her face. A face that looked a lot like mine. The night sky was filled with hundreds of stars but one showed the brightest and biggest. If you looked close enough you saw the outline of a man walking away from her not looking back. The girl was heartbroken that the man had left her but she refused to chase after him because it would be like chasing after the stars. The grass around her was touching her like it was trying to comfort her but she ignored it. In her hands was a wilting flower that was supposed to represent her life draining away. It was truly beautiful but it hurt knowing what it represented.

I took that from Taylor’s reactions and Jeremy’s quiet stance behind me they understood the photo as well. I turned away from the painting throwing down my brush and walking past them without looking at anyone. I went to my bathroom and closed the door making sure to lock it so no one walked in.

There was a knock but I simply ignored it and started running the water in the sink and started washing my face of the paint, like I was washing away the pain. When I finished cleaning up I walked out and past Jeremy who was sitting on the floor by the door waiting.

“London.”

I froze at his voice but I didn’t turn around. He whispered a please and how he needed his best friend back but I already started walking away not caring anymore. The clock on the wall in her room indicated it was after 6 and she was hit with an idea.

“Stay or leave, do what you want but I’m going out. I need to get out of here.” Out of the house or state I wasn’t quite sure yet. I closed my door and rummaged through my closet. I found my skimpiest most club worthy dress along with a pair of heels that would match. I curled my hair into beautifully shaped swirls and applied my make up on delicately but noticeably. This all took about half an hour and when I was done I flung open the door like I was ready to go to the best party in town.

Jeremy looked up from the TV with Taylor beside him and both of their mouths dropped open. I know, hard to believe how I was yesterday to what I am now. I was still slowly dying on the inside but I was going to dull the pain with alcohol, sex and music. It was time to not be me for a few hours.

“Where are you going looking like that?” Taylor asked with obvious concern lacing her tone. I winked at her and shook my hips as I answered.

“The Fuze has women’s drink special on Saturday nights so I’m gonna go get drunk and dance my ass off.” I held out my keys in my hand turning towards the door. “You guys coming or what?”

“London, I don’t think this is such a good idea. Things have been pretty rough on-.” I shot a glare her way and her mouth snapped shut. I have never been rude or even remotely mean to that family in my entire life but that look spoke volumes. I didn’t want to listen to this anymore.

“Whatever I’m out. Lock the door on your way out you two.” I barely made it to the front of the drive when Jeremy caught up and grabbed my arm. I yanked it out from his grasp feeling that magnetic pull we always had. Well I was going to be feeling it with someone else tonight that was for sure.

“Wait hold on. I’m coming with you.” He was hurt I pulled away from him but at this point I didn’t give a shit what he thought.

“Are you going to be a Debbie Downer?”

“What? No.”

“Then you may join.” With that I hoped into my new Toyota Camry and started her up. “Any day now, Soldier.” I was annoyed he was still standing their wasting my time.

He frowned and hoped into the car buckling his seat belt without another word. I could feel the tension rolling off of him as he texted someone on his cell phone. I got angry thinking it was Evelyn and I stepped on the gas. I opened the windows and started to blare the radio with some new dubstep song that I had no idea who even made it. I began dancing to it in the seat before I turned the radio to another station looking for something else to listen to. I put on the local country station and I almost stopped the car completely at the song that was playing.

“Cause you don't know her like I do. You'll never understand. You don't know we've been through. That girl's my best friend, and there's no way you're gonna help me. She's the only one who can. No, you don't know how much I've got to lose. You don't know her like I do.”

Brantley Gilbert’s song ‘You Don’t Know Her Like I Do’ was playing and I swore it was a message from God. Next to me Jeremy seemed to stiff as the words started to play but I couldn’t seem to change the channel. “I can't forget, I'm drowning in these memories. It fills my soul with all the little things and I can't cope, it's like a death inside the family. It's like she stole my way to breathe so don't try to tell me I'll stop hurting and don't try to tell me she ain't worth it-.”

I changed the station finally and went back to the dubstep song. This time I wasn’t dancing but I was still dead set on going out. The Fuze was mostly know as a hook up club but I didn’t care. I could tell Jeremy was worried for me.

Too bad I was gonna show him what he was really missing.
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This song inspired me with this chapter so here it is if you've never heard it before. Its really good, at least to me. Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1jCm_NEdfk