Purgatorial

Nina's POV

Losing someone you love leaves a hole. In your life. In your heart. Memories are the only way to see those people again, but it'll always hurt, it'll always be bittersweet. Sometimes it'll feel like the ground's caving under you and you're falling—and you'll never stop, never hit bottom. That's processing grief, though. You have to feel all the heartache before you can finally move on, you have to accept they're gone, you have to look yourself in the mirror and know you'll never see them again in flesh and blood. There won't be more memories.

Just a hole in your life. A hole that'll never be filled. But... but at least you know they're gone—that there's no possible way of seeing them, because they're dead.

Somehow over these six months I'd learned to deal with a tantamount of grief. Maybe not in the healthiest of ways, crying my eyes out, pushing down the reality of the situation, avoiding looking at the ruins of my house... Not everyone deals with loss the same way, sometimes... Sometimes I thought I'd gotten off easy, like I hadn't suffered enough for my family.

Maybe it was true... So, maybe this was Karma's way of paying me back.

Today's the fourth day since Cameron's been gone. Trapped by Phillip in a hexed Cube. Used to punish Angels and their descendants, something Witches created centuries ago after the Fall. He was alive. Only we had no clue about Phillip's whereabouts, meaning... No idea where Cameron was. Phillip vanished after trapping him—I'd never hated their super-speed mojo so much. How we left that death infested club was a blur. I'd pretty much passed out from either hyperventilating or the biting pain in my—back then—healing lungs and leg. My healing was definitely slow. It took almost three days for my lung to return to normal size.

Healing couldn't help now, though... I still felt breathless, like I couldn't get enough air.

There was a horrible squeezing in my chest every time I let myself search for his soul, for our bond. There was nothing but chilling emptiness. It was driving me nuts. So yeah, when someone died you knew they were gone—where they were. Six-feet under. Knowing they were alive and being tortured endlessly, with no possible escape? It was living hell.

The bed on the other side of the room squeaked, stealing my attention from the oh-so interesting egg-shell colored wall I'd been staring at for the last half hour or so. Serena's eyes were pinched for a second longer before flickering open, catching mine.

Okay, Nina, do your best to smile...

"Nice try..." Her voice came out hoarse, like she'd been screaming for hours on end. Maybe she had. Angry marks layered around her throat. Like she'd been strangled multiple times with a wire. "...you can't fool... me," she mumbled through a cough, blinking.

"Sorry," I whispered. My voice wasn't slurred and didn't sound like I'd smoked five cigarette packs, but it sounded dulled. Detached. "How are you feeling?" It was the question I'd been asking her every time she woke up.

She just shifted a shoulder, wordlessly. Like every other time I'd asked. The same distant look was in Serena's blue eyes. She was thinking about him—about Phillip. Was she thinking about the evil version, what he'd done? Or the good version, the one I'd crushed on, the one she was head over heels for? I couldn't tell. I didn't ask. I was afraid of the answer—of hearing she couldn't love Phillip anymore, that there was nothing really left inside to pull back.

"Did you sleep?" She rasped.

"For an hour, maybe two..." Time really wasn't much of a worry right now. I heaved deeply, rubbing a hand over my tired face. I knew I needed to react—to think of something because sitting around mopping and imagining what Cameron was being put through wasn't going to help anyone, especially not him. "I'm going to the kitchen," I grabbed a hoodie at the foot of the mattress—one of Cam's—and slipped it over my t-shirt and sleeping shorts, it reached below the waist. "Do you want anything? Cereal? Fruit?"

A grimace shot past her face as Serena braced her weight on her elbows, propping herself against the slim headboard. Exhaustion was all too present in her eyes, the shadows being cast over her face aged her five years.

"Just... a glass of milk,"

"You've got to eat." Serena gave a small nod. "I'll bring you milk and cereal." With that, I marched for the door. It was dark in the room, only slivers of light were coming through the blinds, but I could've made my way outside with eyes shut. This was my old house—the one I'd lived in since Mom and Nigel got married, up until we moved to Haven Hills. This room used to be Henry's. Romeo had been staying in it before, that's why there was only one bed—the one Serena was using—he'd gotten me a mattress, though.

Although the house's layout was the same, it looked completely different. Starting with the lack of décor. The part with more furniture was downstairs—the living room. I turned the corner, going down the stairs slowly, knowing where to step so the wood wouldn't creak. If anyone saw me now, they'd label me a Zombie. I felt horrible, so, it was only fair that I looked horrible.

Even though Power couldn't be felt inside San Diego, I felt his presence the moment I finished the last stair.

"What are you doing?"

His wide shoulders hunched for a split second. Then, he craned his neck back, side-glancing me. Gunmetal eyes studied me steadily, devoid of any emotion besides anger, rage and deep inside, buried raw pain—the kind that tears you from the inside out.

Lucas turned away, looking dead ahead like before I came down.

"I was waiting for you." Frowning, I edged into the living room, going around the couch where he was sitting. His head lifted when I stood there, inches from him, standing. "I needed to let you know I'm leaving. I didn't think Etna would appreciate me leaving—without telling you."

"You're leaving?" I ignored that this was the first time in four days he'd spoken Etna's name. "You can't,"

An eyebrow rose at my weak protest.

"I can and I'm going to. Romeo left last night, he's gone searching for any scum who hasn't played into Cain's hands, yet. Anyone—anything. I'm going to track down the bastard myself, you're welcome to stay here—"

Lucas climbed to his feet, taking up the space between us. Unconsciously, I lifted my hands, keeping us apart as they lightly brushed his chest.

"But what about Cameron? Phillip's got him trapped and I have no idea where he is!"

"That's not a priority of mine, Nina." The fact that he used my name, instead of some pet name told me he wasn't in a mood to be messed with, but neither was I.

"Cam's your family—they both are. I thought you cared about Gabriel?" I said raging, fury clawing its way from under the numbness.

His face remained impassionate.

"I don't see your point."

"They're Gabriel's sons!" I gritted, "Are you seriously going to do nothing? Cameron's being tortured by a Hex—something you once said was the same as a death sentence—how can you leave him like that?"

I knew believing the Devil could care about anyone other than himself or someone else without getting anything in return was stupid, possibly one of my Top 10 Stupidest Thoughts. Etna loved him. Cameron and Phillip borderline despised him—for good reasons—he'd been ready to shred Cam's soul and he'd tortured Phillip in Hell. Whatever goodness he had wasn't reserved for his blood.

"Don't try appealing to me, Nina. I don't do good," Lucas scoffed. "That's reserved for righteous people like my brother. I have one person to keep safe, one person I do care about and Cameron isn't it. Neither is Phillip. Simply put: I don't care. I don't care what happens to Cameron, I don't care if you never find him, if he's never freed. And frankly, if you do find him and let him out, he'll probably be mad—driven crazy by the Hex, by trauma—and he'll either kill himself or kill everyone around him because he thinks he's still inside the Cube."

"No," I whispered, unblinking. "No, I know him—he's part of me, he won't lose himself to some stupid Hex. He'll survive until I find him—even if you don't help me do it."

Lucas moved, leaning forward to grab something off the table—a jacket. He shrugged it on, continuously gazing into my golden orbs, trying to break my resolve or trying to make me back up from fear of him. But I was too hollow to feel intimidated.

"I also know him, little star. I've seen his memories. I know how he thinks. Cameron's not weak—I know that, even if I like antagonizing him. He's survived a lot, he's stubborn, I'll give him that. But he's haunted—haunted for what he did to Gabriel, haunted by guilt over every bad thing that's ever happened to the people he let in." My eyes wavered. A finger lifted between us, gently angling my chin so I'd stare at his face. "Remember when I told you Cameron and I had things in common?"

"Because of your ability to manipulate electricity..."

"Right," he said thickly. "I used to care, too. But it's been years and years of history, eons of bad blood between me and the people I used to care about—at some point, I couldn't care anymore. At some point, I didn't need to try and ignore feelings such as empathy or compassion. It just became part of who I was. It was how I survived and thrived as the villain everyone knows, how I ruled over Hell, but that was ruined when I met her—Etna." His thumb brushed my right cheek, "Whenever I'm with her, I... I care. But there's nothing I care about when I'm not beside her. Without her, there's too much darkness inside my soul to feel anything but hunger for revenge, death, destruction... I was dead inside and she brought me back and I'm never giving that up for anything or anyone."

With a last caress at my cheek, he was gone. With such speed you'd think he'd vanished into thin air. The room felt colder somehow. My arms hugged around my waist as I inhaled what was left of Cameron's scent on the hoodie.

After eating a pear, I poured milk and cereal into a bowl, grabbed a spoon and went upstairs. Serena was still sitting against the headboard. She thanked me as I placed the bowl on her lap. Taking the spoon, she moved the cereal around before eating. I sat on the edge of bed mulling over what Lucifer said. While I believed in Cameron and that he'd hold on, I knew it wouldn't last forever. Half of him was only human...

"Serena..." I licked my lips staring at my bare feet, curling my toes. "I need your help." I turned to her slowly, breathing in and out. "Lucifer and Romeo left—Lucifer said he's going to hunt Cain and Romeo's doing God knows what! I need to find Phillip. I need to... I need to free Cameron. I know you're still injured and if you're not up to it, that's fine. But tell me some spell or potion or whatever and I'll find a Witch who can do it, just..."

"I'll help you."

My forehead creased and my lips parted.

"But..."

"I can help you," she repeated, a spark I hadn't seen since she'd woken up coming alive. "I know what those Cubes do, Nina. And... I know Phillip, he... He's not in his right mind. What he's doing—what he's done... I'll help you, not some other Witch—me."

Looking her squarely in the eye, nodding, I whispered, "Alright."

***

Two days later Serena was moving around the house and the marks on her neck were vanishing thanks to some Burdock sap Cameron packed in his bag, back in Haven Hills. Yesterday, Serena had me gathering things for her guiding spell. A locator spell wouldn't work thanks to the Veil shielding every inch of this city. Serena had come up with something risky. If I didn't know any better, I'd say I was becoming Cam.

Risk taking used to be his thing.

Today, we were sitting in my house's old attic—my old bedroom—Serena was sitting outside a huge circle she'd drawn with white chalk, a bunch of Sigils painted here and there. A thick candle, as tall as my hand, sat at the edge of the circle where Serena was sitting, cross-legged. Serena was grinding Hibiscus' petals into paste.

Restlessly, I walked around the circle eying it every two minutes, driving myself insane. When I started taking too many breaths, loud ones, Serena's head snapped. She sent a look that read 'sit down—now'. Letting my hands fall from my hips, I sank to the ground mimicking her.

"Let's go over this again," she began, hitting whatever petals were left with the wooden spoon. Her lips turned down as she hit the Hibiscus again. "This spell is dangerous, Nina. You need to be sure about it, you can die." I ignored the shudder down my spine, nodding. "The Hibiscus has special properties that I can tap into—it'll peel your soul from your body. Usually, when a soul leaves a body that body will start decaying, a mortal soul wouldn't find its way back or be aware of anything—it would fade. I'll cast a preservation spell over your body until you—your soul—makes it back. That's where the candle comes in. Once I lit it, it'll act as a tether to your body."

"Okay,"

"When I separate your soul from your body, you'll have to think about Cameron. If your bond with him isn't strong enough—"

"It is," I bristled, suddenly defensive.

She carried on without commenting, giving only a small widening of her eyes.

"Alright, well, once your soul's out and about, all you have to do is focus on Cameron. On what you feel when you're with him. Your soul will find its way to wherever the Cube is stashed, but you won't be able to interact or be seen. Once you know where Phill… where Phillip is keeping the Cube, you have to let the tether pull you back, because if the flame goes out before you're back… Your soul will be lost, Nina. It'll float around, unknown to anyone or anything until its remaining energy fades."

Alright, so there wasn't a ninety-percent chance of me dying, but there was still a chance. So, yeah, Cameron was a bad influence when it came to life-or-death plans. Wasn't the first time I was being reckless in his absence—Datura seeds, anyone? Yeah, no thanks.

There wasn't anything I wouldn't risk for him, though, and this was only step one. After I found where he was part two of my awesome-sauce plan would start and that… That would be dangerous.

"I need to come back before the candle burns out or I face certain death—got it. I'm ready when you are," I got up, taking off my top, throwing it to the floor. I stepped into the wide circle. It was big enough for me to lie down inside it—had to be.

I think I heard Serena sighing from above, she walked into the circle, kneeling beside my jean clad hip. She dipped her fingers into the purple mush of water and petals. I jolted at the coldness of the mixture she pressed into my stomach. I closed my eyes feeling her draw a circle. I swallowed several times, trying to mentally prepare myself for an out-of-body experience.

Not sure how one got ready for that. Me? I just inhaled really deep, each time thinking of Cameron getting tortured in a different scenario—thank you, imagination. Though, I was pretty sure I'd dreamed some of that agonizing stuff. Either way, it motivated me.

Serena began chanting words I could understand, lyrical and tongue-twisters, but they meant absolutely nothing to me. The room was quiet aside from her steady voice, I could hear people outside, going down to the beach, cars flying down streets... Little by little, exhaustion from the last days gathered up making me falter once, then twice. I felt drowsy, a patient who was getting general anesthesia, the only thing missing was me counting backwards. Sooner than later, I couldn't move a muscle or feel any cold on my skin where Serena drew the circle, I couldn't feel the flame's warmth next to my feet.

There was nothing but thoughts and yet, somehow, I was getting up. Peeling myself away from... I stood there, hovering, like a ghost. Staring down at my own body. I could see everything like before, my eyes were shut, my skin looked like it was paling at a rapid rate like I'd suffered major blood loss. The sound of Serena starting another chant got my attention. It was the preservation spell, I figured. Hearing was different here—outside my body. Serena's voice was thin and strong. Right now, it sounded slurred and deep. It was like noise went through an invisible barrier that separated souls from Earth or something, making everything distort.

This had to be the weirdest thing I'd ever done. Ever. Staring down at myself... It looked like I was dead. That would be the case if I didn't hurry up and focused on Cameron, on our bond. It was easy, like breathing—not that I needed to breathe now. There was no pounding in my chest, because there was no heart, no blood, no arteries or veins for it to flow, just a fading mirror-image of my appearance. My faded features looked sharper in this form, though. I could see my soul reflected in a window. There were other things in this strange, compartmentalized area of Earth's dimension, I could feel with a new intensity. The minute Cameron came to mind it was like I became love personified and it was all I knew as I kept the memories coming. I thought of our first kiss, about the storm he'd conjured that night, how wonderful it felt to have him—all of him with me. I thought of Cam's gift—my necklace. I thought about every promise he'd ever made, how he'd always kept them. I thought about his selfness when it came to getting Phillip back. I thought about our night under the meteor shower...

A flickering red ribbon materialized, it sprouted from inside me, spreading outside and beyond, going through the house's walls. This... I would've bitten my lip. Was this what Jade saw connecting people? Was this what she called soul threads?

It had to be! Questions rang away as I gave in to instinct, letting myself move forward, following the red Thread. I went from floating slowly to speeding ahead, like a spear aiming for a bullseye. I went through the walls—like I was smoke. The afternoon sun shone as I flew—I was flying—over San Diego. The red Thread connecting me to Cameron stretched out for miles, I couldn't see its end. I was speeding through the air, feeling a little saddened that I couldn't feel wind on my face or my hair blowing back.

There was no corporeal feeling whatsoever.

I picked up speed the more I let memories slip, it was like the Thread in my chest was pulling me towards him, my other half. It was all beautiful and magical until something caught my interest. I slowed down, looking down at the ground below, I had to be twenty-feet off the ground. She saw me, I could tell she did because there was no mistaking the recognition in her faded pupils. She was older than me, maybe thirty something. I didn't know her, but... She—this was a person's soul!

A conversation with Cam rang loud and clear: When a mortal being died it was usually because its body got sick or they'd been killed. Souls were energy, mortal souls had a life-span, Cam said they could last a hundred years, sometimes a little more. He'd told me once, when the body got sick or too wounded the soul couldn't stay—it had to leave. I'd asked him where they went if their energy wasn't out yet... He hadn't known.

Could this... Was this where they came? A place on Earth where no one could see them, but they could see and feel everything? The candle, I whispered to myself, I'm on a time limit... Lingering for another moment, I refocused on Cameron and the red Thread became visible to me again. Whatever this place was, I'd have to find out afterwards. The race to wherever Cameron was re-started.

I willed my soul to lower itself, so I could read where I was going. I needed to know how to get there in my body or this would be a waste.

My heart would've been jumping higher and higher as I forced myself to slow down, noticing the Thread going inside a tall building. It looked abandoned. An old sign on the building's north side caught my eye, it was faded reading: San Diego In Spot! Taking another look around, I saw the building was next to San Diego's very own City Hall. I took a while to float around back, to see if the Thread went inside or just through the building. There was nothing coming out of it, though, only going in.

I was a soul without a body, no one could see. People were literally walking through me. It was freaky as hell, but I couldn't decide what was worse, them not feeling me or me not feeling them. I would've shuddered if I could. Anyway, it didn't mean walking in—going through concrete walls—wasn't scary, especially when some windows were boarded up from the inside, others were broken glass. Not to mention the red graffiti...

Grow a pair, Nina, I shot, tilting my ghostly head. Bracing myself, I floated towards the building, having no doubt where the Thread would lead. I stood inside a moldy barren room before moving onto another, tracking the Thread closely until it abruptly pointed up—towards the ceiling. Like an oversized balloon, I allowed myself to ascend—unsure of how I was doing it—and kept thinking spiders couldn't touch me. Nope.

The second floor's room was different. Less dirty, dust was reduced to a minimum and the windows weren't boarded. Thanks to that, I could see everything clearly. A bed was pushed against a wall, the covers pulled up in messy fashion. A washed out desk was next to it, one of its front legs was shortened, two books were underneath it serving as a support. On top of it was a silver candelabrum holding two melted candles, Phillip's cell phone and... I almost combusted into flames.

There it was—the Cube!

My first instinct was to reach out, trying to sweep it off. No luck. Frustration welled up and so did anger. I was so close. The red Thread was coming out of it, of the enchanted box... He was inside. He... He was in pain and I was so close... But I couldn't free him.

I wished I could smack my head on the table.

A drowned out noise fluttered from behind. I twisted my ghost-form around, watching Phillip coming in, looking irritated. Cuts on his arms, blood dripping from a wound on his left shoulder. He grabbed the T-shirt's edges tugging it off in a flurry of rage. What was he so upset about? I'd earned cranky. He'd trapped his brother, dooming him to an eternity of torture. I swear, if I was in my body I'd hit him—with a crowbar, with a pipe, with anything!

The blazing eyes reminded me Phillip hadn't done it on purpose, he was being corrupted from the inside. We didn't even know how to fix him... Sadness overtook as my memories gravitated to old times between us. I remembered at the hospital, when he cried because he'd been afraid of losing me, of when he comforted me—held me—the night my family died. Of the first time he kissed me—my first kiss—and how liberated he'd made me feel, like the world wouldn't end if I just opened myself to new things.

I was beyond sad now, bordering on depressed—torn, because the thought of never getting to see Phillip flash that boyish smile was painful. I couldn't hurt him; I didn't want to anymore... There was no point. If any part of him was left, he was suffering.

I looked away as he sauntered to a duffel bag picking through his clothes. I... loved him, too. Always had. Just then, I saw a twinkling blue light. Soon, another Thread was coming out of my soul, this one connecting me to Phillip. I wanted to blink—but like when I saw a past memory—I couldn't.

What did Jade say blue Threads meant?

"Damn, Vampires..." Phillip cursed, his voice distorted like Serena's had been. He'd been fighting Vampires? Shaking my head, I focused on the Thread thinking back to that day when we'd met Jade and she'd told us about our connection. Jade said something about white ones, too, she'd said soulmates were...

A loud ruckus snapped me to attention. Phillip got up from his crouch slipping on a navy Tee, sandy hair ruffled. His blinding eyes were trained on the door—it swung open. I would've clenched my fists, but it wasn't worth it, they couldn't even sense me. Uriel waltzed in, kicking the door closed. She looked as regal as any other time we'd met, only less murderous and more proud of herself. I hated her, I really, really did. More than Sam. Uriel was one of the most powerful beings in Creation and she abused her Power, she killed and tortured and blamed others—Lucas—for dozens of Nephilims' deaths. He was the Devil, but at least he took credit for his work.

"Why doesn't he just kill those Vampires? He's been starving them for weeks." Phillip snapped gesturing to the floors above.

"Because they said no to him." Uriel stated simply, walking closer to Phillip. Too close for comfort making me float back a little. "They don't want to join his side. They don't want to feed on innocent people. That's why Cain's starving them. Starved Vampires, after a few weeks, are weak. But they are uncontrollable. They'll feed on anything or anyone once they get the chance."

Phillip tilted his head, his lips pinched before he crossed his muscled arms.

"He's going to unleash them on San Diego? Is that it?"

"Aren't you perceptive," she winked glamorously. Bleh. The wayward Archangel trailed a finger across Phillip's neck, he followed the movement closely until she slipped around him, heading towards the desk with an innocent expression. "There's no better punishment than making them do exactly what they refused…"

I jerked, going at her when she picked up the Cube. I went right through her. Obviously. Argh, I wished ghosts were a thing and I could haunt her. What was she doing? Phillip whirled and plucked the Cube from her hand in one swift move, his fingers caged the hexed object out of her reach.

"What?"

"I've told you before not to touch this." Phillip's anger was clear across his face. Anger gave way to hate. His lip curled, "He's paying for ruining my life, my father's—you're not smashing it. That would end his torture too soon, there's eternity to pay."

I had to leave, no matter how much I didn't want to—if only to make sure Uriel left the Cube alone—I needed to. The candle could be burning out. I knew how to get to Cam now. But there were many things I wanted to know—was Cain here, too? Was it just them? What about the Vampires? Ugh, I hated life or death choices, this sucked. Big time.

Uriel shrugged stepping around Phillip. He gave the Cube a long scornful look, setting it down. Pain and guilt welled up nearly consuming me, blinding me to whatever was being said between them. I'd dreamed about Phillip going dark-side, I'd seen Cameron lying in a coffin with his heart carved out. He hadn't killed his brother, but he'd put him in a box all the same. I chose not to tell Cam because I hadn't wanted to hurt him—this was on me.

It was my fault and I was going to make up for it, even if I had to die.

Focusing on the strange presence weighing on my shoulders, I let it tug me backward—it was the tether. It was hard to let go at first, I didn't want to leave—not really, afraid Uriel would twist around crazy fast and smash the Cube, killing Cameron.

I wasn't sure how the travel back worked, it all happened too fast. Felt like light speed. I slammed into my body and was gasping for the biggest gulp of air ever. Serena was next to me, blurry at first, she said some words waving her hand about. My muscles suddenly relaxed. They'd been stiff, my lungs, too. Arching and twisting, I breathed greedily. Things came into focus once my head stopped swimming. I laid back on the attic floor, pressing a hand against my head.

Had that really happened or had I dreamed everything? It felt... surreal. This coming from a person who'd gone to Hell and back.

"Are you alright?" Serena's voice sounded normal now. Thank baby Jesus. "I lifted the preservation spell as soon as you returned. It keeps the body in a state of rigor mortis, like everything is on standby. How does it feel?"

"Ow," I whimpered as I managed to calm my breathing, sitting, cradling my head for a minute or two. "I feel... like I've circled around the world—twice." My muscles were lead. Lifting my head was a small victory—my eyes bulged. "Am I alright? Your nose is bleeding!" I whispered harshly. Serena wiped the blood away as if it were nothing but a minor irritation. "You weren't ready, we should've looked for another Witch, I—"

"I'm fine. Like you said, it was a nose bleed." That wasn't exactly true. She could've been bleeding from her brain! I wasn't a doctor, what if... "I wanted to do this, remember? It was my idea. I'm okay—I am." She assured with a smile that rivaled Phillip's in sincerity. "Did it work?"

For a moment I didn't speak, wondering again if there was a way to reverse what had been done to Phillip. He deserved happiness, he deserved Serena.

I nodded. Her face went brighter than Vegas Strip.

"Great!" She wrapped a hand around her pendant—I'd given it back to her—and looked fiercely determined. "Where are they?"

"They're in an abandoned building next to City Hall. It's nine floors tall. Phillip..." I stopped abruptly, there was the smallest twinkle in her sky eyes. I hesitated.

"You can say his name, Nina, I'm not going to run away screaming. I don't... I can't blame him." She finished quietly, glancing towards the half melted candle. "I'm the reason he's like this in the first place... If he hadn't stayed behind, if he'd gone through the portal with you—none of this would've happened. Uriel wouldn't have injected him with that juice, Phillip would be okay."

"He thought Michael was hunting Cam down, we all did. He wasn't going to leave you there—alone. We were tricked. What happened with Uriel was awful, but he stayed because he loved you." We'd all heard him say it. "He loves you—somewhere inside, he does. I know it may be hard to believe it after... after what he put you through..."

"I know," she murmured softly, almost brokenly. "That's the worst part, Nina. I know he loves me and somewhere inside—swimming in all that poison—he's hurting. Not just over me, over you, over Cameron..." A strangled sigh left her. "I don't know how to help him. When we were in Hell they would take him away for hours and sometimes he came back bloody and bruised, other times he just..." She shook her head sadly, "It doesn't matter now. Back then, I knew how to help take his pain away. Now? I don't have a clue. If we manage to free Cameron it'll ease his pain, though, I'm sure."

Well, then, it was time to put part two of my suicidal plan in motion. I needed to get ready for a B&E—breaking and entering.