Golden Eyes

3 months later

I was in my little kitchen beating at the pancake batter in frustration. It was like when I moved out all by myself all over again. I always felt the need to call out to my mom to come help me make this because apparently I was useless in the kitchen. Don’t get me wrong, I can bake cookies and other sugary goods like it was going outta style but to actually MAKE something and have it come out edible was a whole other story.

A strong Caribbean wind blew into my open cottage window and I gave a small sad smile. The British Virgin Islands weren’t so bad this time of year. I had never been here before so it was the perfect place to hide out for the rest of my life. I had no electronic devices on me or in here, except the TV that was on the news silently. I only even have it because I had spliced into the neighbors cable. It was quiet out here, a little too quiet, but still nice. It was like it always was in the postcards, sunny and beautiful. On the TV, the international news montage about the Avengers was playing. I put down the pointless breakfast I was trying to make and turned up the volume. All I could see so far was various reports of what happened. Some people were agreeing that the Avengers did good, protecting the city. Others believed it was our cause. I had to roll my eyes at that. Just because someone protects you once don’t mean it’s their sole duty and purpose in life. We did have lives. Well I did at one point. I needed to find something out here to do to keep myself occupied otherwise I was going to go insane. Three months of nothing to do was taking its toll. I felt like a caged animal just waiting to break out.

The British Virgin Islands comprise around sixty tropical Caribbean islands, ranging in size from the largest, Tortola which was about 12 miles long and 3 miles wide, to tiny uninhabited islets. They were located in the Virgin Islands archipelago, a few miles east of the US Virgin Islands. The North Atlantic Ocean lay to the north of the islands, and the Caribbean Sea lay to the south. Most of the islands were volcanic in origin and have a hilly, rugged terrain. Anegada was geologically distinct from the rest of the group and was a flat island composed of mostly limestone and coral. I did my research before I hitchhiked my way all the way out here. Needless to say if I had to quickly make a run for it I had a pick of between sixty islands to choose from.

“Superheroes? In New York? Give me a break!” An old man was being interviewed and I had to smirk. Believe it old man!

Senator Boynton was next to be interviewed. “These so called heroes have to be held responsible for the destruction done to the city. This was their fight. Where are they now?” Not paying for something they couldn’t help Senator. I remembered my thoughts that day as I looked to the devastation of the city. The next person to be interviewed however caught my attention. It was the waitress that we had saved from the bank.

“What? That this was somehow their fault? Captain America and Tigress saved my life. Wherever they are, wherever any of them are, I just wanna say thank you. Especially Tigress. She was ready to die for us that day without a thought.”

I smiled at the woman on the screen and nodded towards her saying ‘You’re welcome’ in my head.

I got up and decided I needed a nap to clear my thoughts. These were what I looked forward to the most on a regular. Pathetic, I know but as someone with tiger DNA in them and not being allowed to doze off randomly was just plain torture to me. It was getting better over the months after the injection from Banner. Don’t get me wrong, I was still same old hyper-vigilante golden eyed Vanessa but I knew deep down that things were different on the inside. Like back when I was first changing, I just knew something was different about me.

I shook my head. I really needed to stop thinking about my past. If I kept it up, I wouldn’t be able to stay here. I would go running back to them in a heartbeat and all of this would have been for nothing. I gave SHIELD over 70 years of my life and now it was time I focused on myself.

I crawled onto my couch and closed my eyes. After muting the television I snuggled into the couch pillows and sighed in comfort. The couch was old but God damn it was so comfortable.

I felt myself start to drift off peacefully when a laugh broke the blissful silence around me. I sat up so fast that I thought I would topple over from my head spinning. The laugh came again and I sprang up walking down the hallway towards where the noise came from. I knew that laugh. I used to live for that laugh.

I came across the bedroom which consisted over a single twin sized bed with a night stand and dresser. The walls were falling apart, almost like the old apartments in New York in Brooklyn.

“That’s what I said! She can be so unbelievably stubborn sometimes I swear.” He was laying propped up the twin bed on the phone, which I didn’t have in the house because SHIELD could pull some NSA things and track a person’s voice through the phone lines. “Aw, here she is now. Hey babe, Natasha wants to know when we’ll be back from the Honeymoon. She says that she misses you and that you still need to teach her how to make your mothers spaghetti sauce.”



This was a dream. This was a freaking dream!

“Hey, Nat? Yeah, I’m gonna have to call you back. She looks like she might throw up.” He paused a beat. “If she is pregnant you’ll be the first to know, after me of course!”

Yep, this was a dream.

He hung up the phone and quickly hoped up, walking over to me with a sweet and loving smile gracing his beautiful face. I took an involuntary step back and he stopped. He cocked his head to the side in the way only he seemed to be able to pull off.

“When did you get here? How did you get here?” I was staring at him like I was seeing a ghost. He wasn’t supposed to be here. She left her heart with him in New York all those months ago.

“What are you talking about? Also I can’t keep lying to Natasha about the baby. She’s going to know something is up. We’ve been on our Honeymoon for 3 months now. Things were bound to have happened since the wedding.”

My hand flew to my stomach and I felt bile start to come up. There was a small but noticeable bulge to my abdomen. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my GOD! I looked at it and noticed there was a ring on my finger. I felt tears swell in my eyes and I had to bit them back. Now even my dreams were being cruel to me.

“Come with me. I know what will cheer you up.” He took my hand and I felt a spark through my entire arm. I sucked in my breath and stared at him. He gave me a reassuring smile and pulled me out of the room back towards the living room and out the door. He stared laughing and I noticed how carefree and open it was. Steve never laughed like that with me because whenever we were together we were getting shot, yelling at each other, or something else was occupying his attention. He was only ever like that with Peggy. I looked at our intertwined hands and I felt a pang in my sleeping heart.

He looked back at me with a smile before starting to run, with his hand still in mine. We were running down a boardwalk that wasn’t really there in real life, because if it was I would have avoided it all costs. I didn’t need some tourist taking a picture with me in the background and posting it online. SHIELD would be notified in a second because the servers would recognize my face and by now I was labeled a traitor and flight-risk I was sure.

He stopped before a carousel and pulled me on. The lights were shining behind his head, casting his face in shadows but I was sure lighting up my face like the Fourth of July. The sun was setting in the background and I stood there. He waited for me to get on the white stallion next to him and I hesitated for only a moment longer before just getting on. If my dreams were going to revolve around him I might as well enjoy them right?

“There you go. Not so bad now is it?” He wrapped his arms around my waist as the ride started. His massive arms made me feel protected and safe. It was nice to have someone else care for me for once. I was always doing everything myself that my dreams felt the need to do something to make my life better. I’ll thank my subconscious later.

“No. No it’s not.” I said giving him a small smile.

“So I was thinking about names for the baby.” I started laughing, actual laughing as he said this. Words I never thought I would hear him say. “I was thinking a good strong name like Jaxon if it’s a boy or a beautiful delicate but powerful name like River if it’s a girl. Yes a good name fitting for her, just like her beautiful mother.”



“Jaxon. I love it. And for a middle name we can put James as a middle name.” I smiled wider as his eye lit up at the dedication to our late friend Bucky. “Yes. And for River a good name would be Rose. River Rose.”

“Sounds beautiful. Just like you.” He whispered as he planted a kiss on my temple. My hair was flowing behind me as the ride started to speed up. Faster than any carousel should be going. I looked to him frightened and his face mirrored my own. No, I mean I was literally looking at myself next to me. I quickly looked around for him but my mirror self laughed at me. A dark twisted laugh that made my blood run cold.

“Did you really think you could be happy? Even in a dream? You’re even more pathetic then I thought.” She sneered at me and I looked away, ashamed. “You’re never going to be happy. You ruined that a long time ago. You should offed yourself back when you were first changing. No one wants a mutant for a wife. Why do you think Banner doesn’t have anyone?”

“That’s not true! Banner chooses to stay alone. He’s afraid of hurting someone.” I shouted at her as I held onto the horse I was riding because this ride was going too fast for me now to not hold on for dear life.

She looked at me like I was something she felt sorry for but didn’t want to help. “Please, you keep telling yourself that. You and I both no if you had stayed in New York things would have changed between you two and this,” she held out her hands in a spreading motion. “Might actually have happened in real life. But you left him because you were afraid.”

“He made it pretty clear he didn’t want to be with me.” I glared at myself. God I was a bitch.

The other me busted out laughing. She wiped away a fake tear like I had said the most hilarious thing. “Oh Vanessa, why can’t you open your eyes? How do you know he wasn’t just as scared and nervous as you were? I mean you did spring it on him at a shitty time.”

I had to give her that one. She smirked.

I looked away from her but I couldn’t keep my eyes open for some reason. I closed them for a moment, bracing myself to fly off. I felt a tap on my shoulder and I looked to where the other me was but she was gone. I turned to the front before looking back and suddenly she was in my face.

“WAKE UP!”

I fell off my couch from jumping in my sleep. I made an ‘oomph’ sound as I landed and just decided to lay there. Not moving. My heart was racing and I was sweating. Dream. It was just a dream, Vanessa.

God but it felt so real. Man I’m harsh on myself. That quote about how only you can be your own harshest critic ran through my head. My dream self may have been a bitch but she was right. I was afraid and I ran. That day on the battle of New York he was showing me he cared by how he looked at me, how he touched me.

How he smiled at me.

So why did I run?

I shook my head and sat up. My hand flew to my stomach but I felt stupid afterwards because I knew I wasn’t pregnant but I wished I was. The dream had felt so real that my stomach had been pulled tight from the baby growing inside. My dream self had said who wanted to be with a mutant. Was that why I ran? Because I was no longer entirely human? Steve didn’t seem to care at all about that.

I growled and ran outside the cottage in a sudden fit of rage. The door slammed behind me as I walked out onto the beach behind the house and I screamed at the setting sun. I guess I slept a long time. The closest neighbors I had, the ones who I stole cable from, were at work at night so I knew no one would hear me as I screamed at the world around me. My heart hurt as I felt the tears start running down my face and I fell to my knees, sobbing with my face in my hands. I hated this world. I hated how my life turned out, and I hated how much of a coward I really was.

I picked my head up and just stared at the sun as it disappeared behind the horizon. The tears were still streaming down and I felt my whole body collapse against the cool, white sand. I curled up and just continued to cry wishing that the Earth would swallow me.

And that was where I stayed, even after the freezing temperatures would send any normal person into their nice cozy homes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Steve Rogers

Alarms started going off on the Helicarrier and I ran down the steps leading to the control room. There I found Agent Hill and Fury standing in front of the large screen watching a video which looked like it had been shot from a cell phone. It was of a couple talking and flirting with each other and he wondered why the alarms went off.

“Anything?” He asked feeling himself start to give up. It had been 3 months since Vanessa had run off without a word to anyone. This was a question he would ask on a daily basis and every day it was always the same.

Nothing.

“We don’t know yet Captain Rogers. This video was just uploaded to someone’s Facebook. It looks like they are on their honeymoon down in the British Virgin Islands.” Hill said watching the video.

He was about to say something when a scream pierced the audio. The couple jumped, the woman’s eyes widening in fright. It was obvious the husband was the one recording, that he knew.

That scream though. That scream stabbed at his heart. That was a broken scream of someone in pain. The husband cursed silently and quickly swung the camera around towards the sound. It fell on the form of a woman who screamed once more before falling to her knees. Her body was shaking and anyone could see she was sobbing uncontrollably.

‘Oh that poor woman. Should we go see if she is okay?’ The wife said from off to the side.

‘No. She needs to be alone. That was the scream of someone really hurting babe. Let her have her cry-. Holy shit! Look at her eyes!’ he whispered in aw as you see the woman pick up her face and look towards what looked like the setting sun. Her golden eyes were like melted golden coins as the tears continued to fall freely. You could see she had held that all bottled up for so long that now that it was free, it wouldn’t stop.

Vanessa looked so lost, helpless, and broken that everyone in the control room had to look away, like they felt they were intruding on something intimate. Even Fury looked down at his feet. She fell over onto the sand curling up and continued to sob. The sun was almost completely down and her face was soon completely covered in darkness. The wife whispered for her new husband to stop recording her, which he complied with.

The comments on the video were all ones of sympathy towards the crying woman on the said. One older woman said her heart broke the moment she heard that scream because she knew that sound. She also proceeded to say whoever caused her to hurt that much should be ashamed of themselves. And she was right, Steve was ashamed.

He turned to Fury with a sad yet determined stare. “What are we waiting for? I think it’s time we head down to the Caribbean, don’t you think?”