Golden Eyes

“Vanessa? Vanessa. Wake up. Like now. Wake up now.” I could hear her voice but eyelids felt like they were superglued shut. “Okay I’m gonna start calling you every insulting name in the book. Dumbass. Bitch. Motherfucker.” There was a pause. “Okay you whore wake up already!”

“Is that really necessary calling her those?” Steve’s voice was sharp as he lashed out at Natasha. She muttered a sorry but then started muttering in Russian under her breath. The beeping of the machines that were attached to my body were uncomfortable and slightly annoying. I felt like I was in a daze. Half asleep, half awake but yet neither of those if that made sense. I could hear more talking and the voices were approaching where I was laying down. “Come on Vanessa. You need to wake up. Give us a sign that you’re still okay.”

I felt my index finger twitch but I guess no one saw it because there was no acknowledgement of it. I tried again but failed miserably. I just wanted to drift into the darkness once more. My heart was aching and felt dull almost. The room was spinning even as I laid there not moving and the voices made it sound like I was at a rave party. How people could stand all that pounding music was beyond me.

I heard curtains being pulled back. “Anything?”

“Nothing.” Natasha sighed. I heard nothing from Steve but I could image him staring at me. There was a tube in my mouth that stretched through and down my throat. Why do I need a tube? My heart gave a painful lurch and the machine made a screaming noise and soon a doctor was rushing in.

“I need 10 mL’s of-.” He paused as the machines stopped going off and my heart calmed down. I was willing my body to stop freaking out on me.

“Any news Doc?” There was Steve again sounding all worried. There was the sound of papers being moved as everyone held their breath. I willed myself to keep breathing.

“She had a heart attack. There is no doubt about that. Why? I do not know for sure yet. We think it has something to do with what happened during her capture in Germany. I have people working on it though.”

There was a huge aggravated sigh, which sounded oddly like that of Banner. “May I see those results?”

There was nothing for a few moments before I heard Banner suck in his breath.

“It would appear whatever it was they injected her with is trying to take over her body. What was it again? Siberian Tiger blood mixed with some unknown chemical?” There was a murmur of confirmation. “Loki constantly shocking her seemed to have set off a chain reaction. The tiger in her is taking over and her body is fighting it back like a parasite.”

“English please English!” Steve growled.

“It means we better find a cure for her soon otherwise Vanessa will be no more. Her body can only hold it off for so long. Soon she’ll just be a killing machine. She’ll literally BECOME the tiger she was made to be. The monster.”

There was someone muttering a curse and walking away. Natasha? Banner went quiet either thinking or watching me. Steve his hand, rough and tender all at the same time, grasped mine and held on tightly. I tried to squeeze it but my body didn’t want to listen to me. I was praying Banner or someone would find a cure because I didn’t want to succumb to this, this beast. I could feel myself filling with anger at the thought of not being in control of my body again. Never will that happen to me. I would die before I became a killing machine. The Nazi’s wanted this. Hydra wanted this. I did NOT want this.

I squeezed his hand.

“Guys!” Steve shouted as I peeled my eyes open slowly and blinking back the bright light. I flinched as it seemed to stab at my iris’s. Soon Steve was standing above me blocking out the light as he smiled down at me. I bit onto the tube in my mouth trying to say something but then felt no energy to try and take it out.

“Welcome back Agent Carson.” I looked to the left at Doctor Montgomery. I just slowly blinked at him as the machine continued to breathe for me. I felt a hand on my face and I leaned into it. Steve.

His blue eyes held a glimmer of sadness but also joy. I wanted this moment to go on but I also wanted this damn tube out of my throat. With my other hand I started trying to take it out but everyone stopped me. Banner was holding my hand down and just looking at my charts when his eyes went wide.

“Well I’ll be damned!” He looked at me as Steve turned to him.

“Care to share your thoughts?”

“I think I know how to cure her! Well not cure her cure her but enough to make sure her condition doesn’t worsen.” He turned to me. “How would you like to age like everyone else once more? The Nazi’s when they experimented on you did something that made you defy mother nature in the aging process, which in return somehow made you more cat like. The whole nine lives statement keeps running through my brain. Anyways, because of this the cat in you has been lying dormant so to say and because of the shocks Loki gave you it woke her up making her want to take over your body. Your body fought back which caused the heart attack because your body went into panic mode. Almost like dying of fright.” My brain was already starting to hurt once more listening to him. Steve looked lost as well.

“What are you trying to say Doc?” Natasha said walking back once more. She went to my other side and sat down beside me pushing my hair out of my face. “See I knew cursing at you would wake you up.”

“What I am trying to say is I help Vanessa. She can grew old in 40 years, retire, and put the tiger in her to rest for good so that it won’t take over her body.”

“Won’t that get rid of her powers as well? Make her an ordinary human?” Natasha said confused and I felt my brows come forward in worry. I haven’t been ordinary in so long I forgot what it was like. I became this person 70 years ago that it was who I was now. Take that away and who was I? I looked at Natasha feeling scared for the first time but not being able to say anything. Steve squeezed my hand sensing my distress.

“I don’t think she wants her abilities to vanish for good. Just for her to be better. And safer.” Steve replied turning back to Bruce. I nodded. I liked being flexible. I liked having better senses. I just wanted to defeat the tiger and somehow still keep the powers. If it came down to it would I just let them make me ordinary? Or would I be too afraid and become a monster because I feared the unknown?

Banner rubbed his forehead and sighed. “I will have to work on a solution then.” He nodded his head at me and turned to leave. I watched him go with tears threatening to run down my face when Natasha pulled me into a hug.

“You’ll be okay Vanessa. You know we won’t let anything happen to you right?” I nodded and just leaned against her wishing to somehow go back in time and not go shopping that day back in 1942. That this would somehow have never happened. Steve stood up and without even thinking about it my hand shot out grabbing him to stop him. He looked at our hands together before his eyes found my face. I’m sure I looked pathetic but I didn’t care. Shit, I just had a damn heart attack at 24. I’m ALLOWED to look pathetic. So I pleaded with him to stay with my eyes. His blue to my gold.

He nodded at me understanding and sat back down next to me. Natasha watched the exchange before clearing her throat and standing up letting me go. I looked at her wanting her stay as well but she smiled shaking her head. She said something about having to talking to Fury before she walked out. I watched her go with my eyebrow raised. As the doors started to close the Montgomery walked back in with a vial and a nurse.

“We’re going to remove your tube and give you some medicine to help keep your heart calm so you don’t have another cardiac arrest. I won’t lie though. It will hurt. Help but hurt.”

“Is there nothing else to give?” Steve asked staying strong for me when all I wanted to do was cry.

“In her case? No. Do to her catlike abilities normal human medication just runs out quicker and does nothing to help. We actually had to put this together ourselves just for her.”

“So you’ve never used it before? What’s to say it won’t kill her instead?!” Steve was turning red and I started rubbing my hand up and down his arm in a comforting way. I could do this. I trusted these people with my life.

I nodded at the doctor as the nursed started to administer the drug. They took out the tube which caused me to cough uncontrollably for a few minutes and left my throat raw. Then I could feel the icy grasp of the drug gripping at my heart like a cold wind wrapping itself around everything in its path. I gritted my teeth in pain but made no noise. I had to be strong. I knew they saw I was in pain but I refused to make a sound. I could do this. I could do this!

They eventually left leaving Steve and I alone. I still hadn’t said a word to him but then again we were just those two people that didn’t need to fill the silence with meaningless words. When he laid down in the bed next to me to relax I put my head on his arm. I waited to see if he would shove me away in disgust. When he sucked in his breath I kept my eyes closed and held my own. After a moment he relaxed once more and picked up his arm letting me fall against his chest as he put his arm around me.

“Please fight this V. You have to fight this.” He muttered into my hair when he thought I had finally fallen asleep. I didn’t move or speak.

For you Steve, I would put up one hell of a fight.