The Stranger From the Bridge

Jack's P.O.V

Today is the day I'm going to die.

How can I be so sure, you're thinking. How can I be so sure that I want to end my life at just 23 years of age? Simple.

I hated it from the start.

I won't go into depths about it now though. I'm not worth your time. But it's a well know fact among all of the people who know of my existence that I've been like this for as long as they can remember. As long as I can remember too.

I don’t have the happy memories of being in kindergarten. Nor elementary school. Not even middle school. Especially not high school. I didn’t bother with college because the others sucked. No good memories form family trips. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t get taken away by my parents. No, they loved doing that, they loved spoiling me. But I didn’t love them spoiling me.

I’ve never been happy and I can’t see myself ever being so. I’ll just free up a bit of space for the next person who enters this god forsaken world.

So here I am, sat on a bus on my way to the bridge.

The particular bridge which I would be happiest ending this on. It's nothing special, a little out of the centre of town so no one would disrupt me hopefully .

I'm sat looking straight forward. Thinking about nothing for a change. Usually I feel nervous constantly, always shaking or stumbling over words if put into the situation where speech was necessary. But no. I'm not for once. Instead I was at peace, knowing that the misery is going to end in the next two hours or so.

The people around me seem so oblivious to what they may think are bad thoughts which are constantly flying through my mind. The two teenage girls behind me talking about something or nothing; the mother cradling her child in her arms as she talks busily on the phone; the man to my left absorbed in a book; the old couple at the very front of the bus reminiscing about life. They all appeared to be in a calm state, or at least happy with life. In not too long, I will join them. But in a very different state.

Soon though, I come to the required stop. No one had got off yet, so everyone looked up when the bell was rung and I steadily began to walk down the central aisle. No one said anything as I took the final steps of my left, and I couldn't help think that they were judging me for something. Probably looking at my weak body and seeing the lack of life which had yet to leave my eyes; but also the slight enthusiasm I think I gave off, because I couldn’t wait to get this over with.

Most people would cry at this point. Not wanting to leave particular people behind. But I couldn’t wait to. Eager was maybe the correct word for my attitude for what I’m about to do.

I knew the route from the bus stop to the bridge of by heart at this point. Many a time I had gone just to look down from it to see the fast flowing water which swam under it. But I never bothered trying at those points. This time I will, and I will succeed.

The journey from the two particular spots is about a twenty minute walk for what you may call a normal person, but it took me thirty due to weakness. The path lead me through a small woods filled with young trees, only about two or so feet taller than myself. Wild flowers also lay across the ground, the prettiest things I had seen in a while. All the colours mixed into one large vibrant mass.

There’s the bench which I had spent many an hour thinking on- looking out to the bridge which was at a lower level to it. It had carvings on it of couples who I doubt were a couple any more. You have to be young and in love to do stuff like that, and love never lasts. Instead of sitting down to it like I usually do though, I walk straight past it, not giving it a second thought.

I then rejoined the road after the short cut through the woods. It’s a quiet one; which is surprising because it’s just on the edge of town; but rarely do you see car drive past. It’s mainly just pedestrians who make use of the slab of concrete, and even then they are far and few between.

Only a hundred meters to go, give or take a few, and I’ll be there. I am beginning to see the slight change in road, a stronger looking form of road, indicating how close the bridge was to me. Step by step, getting closer and closer, I can feel the adrenaline building up in me. My heart is beating a little faster in the need to stop. My brain is focusing on every little thing I pass; the wind causing the trees to dance; the sun bringing the birds out of their nest and the sweet song which they sing; the potholes in the concrete from the previous winter; the bridge .

I’m now stood upon it. Not centrally yet; just on the edge, where it meets with the normal road. I take a deep breath, readying myself for what’s about to come, the excitement at it’s highest. I then begin to take my final few steps. One foot in front of the other, I have to remind myself. Breath in and out, I recall. They say take every breath as if it’s your last. It really is for me, and I can’t wait for it to stop.

Now in the centre of the bridge, at the side of the barrier where the river is flowing down stream. Looking down, I can see that the flow is pretty fast. Probably due to the storm which was cast last night. There’s also a bunch of rock down there. Down the 100 ft drop to the water. It would make it fast. I don’t want any more pain that what I’ve already had to endure for 23 years.

I then begin the climb over it. My height actually finding a use for once. As I grip tightly onto the metal barrier, I feel myself shaking. I know it’s from excitement. Hurling one leg over, followed soon by the other, my toes are now hanging over the edge. Only half of my foot is still on solid ground. All I have to do now is let go.

If only it was so simple.

“Stop!” I hear someone shout from far away, and I turn my head slowly to see the man from the bus. The man who read. He’s closer than I thought, only a couple of meters. All I can hear though is the water below me crashing against the pillars of the bridge. “I promise you don’t want to do this.”

Oh but I do.

“You’re shaking so much, you’re scared. I can see it. Please just climb back over.”

No.

“I don’t know why you’re doing this, but it isn’t worth it. What are you? Only 24 or something, you’ve got so many more years to live. It’ll get better.”

No it won’t.

“Please. Just look at me, so I can talk to you.” He demanded, I turn me head back towards him, but all I can see is a blurry mess. Fuck, I’m crying

“Why? Do you want to tell me? You don’t know me, I don’t know you, but I promise I won’t judge. Can you say why?”

“I just hate life, always have, always will if I don’t do tis. Please just let me carry this out.” I whimper.

“You know I can’t let you do that. But that’s now, you’ve still got at least another 50 years of life left in you. It’d be a waste not to live it. Somewhere out there there’s your partner, someone who’ll love you as equally as you love them, doing this will let them down, they’ll never be completely happy without you. Not everyone will judge you for this, see I’m not am I? I just want to help you to get out of this situation.”

I just shake my head in refusal to let his words get to me, but I’m failing miserably.

“Just take my hand and I can take you somewhere to get some help. With whatever it is, there’ll always someone who can.” He desperately says.

Without even realising that I’m doing the action, I see me hand very shakily reach out to his. Now there’s only one hand on the barrier.

“Can you turn around? If not, it’s alright, I can pull you over.” He cautiously says, but I know I can’t. My legs feel like jello and I know that if I do, I’ll fall down and will probably pull him down with me.

“That’s fine, don’t worry. I’m going to pull you over okay, I’ll count down from three and do it. That sound cool?” I nod.

“Okay, one, two…”

“Please just get me away from here” I cry out.

For once, I’m not referring to life.

“I am, I promise, but you need to let me get you on the right side of this barrier. Let’s try again though, one, two… three.”

My legs are now off the ground. My whole body is being hoisted over the barrier by under my shoulders. It hurts, but not as much as my chest does. Soon I’m on the ground, my back on top of the chest of this strange man. I roll over as soon as I can onto my side a little away from him and just pant a breath, and cry. Cry and cry and cry.

“Shhh, please don’t cry. Can you get up for me? You’ll be able to breath easier if you’re up here.” I feel him talk over my collapsed body, but I can’t find the energy to do so. I should have just jumped before he got here. I wouldn’t be this tired if I did so.

With that thought, I get up quickly, and get to the barrier again and try and pull myself over. This time he gets to me before I even hoist one leg over. He pulls me away, and just lets me cry onto his shoulder. I feel his arms wrap around me, not saying anything, just letting me cry.

After 10 minutes like this, I feel myself calm down a little. “Do you want to go? I live close and if you want tea I have some. I also have coffee and hot chocolate, whatever takes your fancy, and then we can drive you somewhere to get you some help. How does that sound.?”

I just nod into his shoulder, and that’s when he begins to pull out of the embrace, and takes my hand. “It’s only a 5 minute walk. Do you think you can manage that?” In reply I mumble a short yes, before I slowly begin to walk in the direction in which he is beginning to take me.

He was right when he said that it’d only take 5 minutes, even with my slow weak pace. The house is a medium size, but large for someone who appears to be a similar age to me. It’s fairly newly built, but it looks cosy still from the outside. I think that’s helped by the woods, which I often walk through, which are the back drop to the home.

“Just follow me to the kitchen. Do you know what you want to drink?” He asks, and for the first time I look up to see his face properly. I didn’t look properly on the bus, nor on the bridge. He has concern etched into his face, but eyes which hold hope and optimism. The houses interior is fairly simple, a few photos of whom I presume are his friends and him dotted across the wall, and a few little trinkets.

“Can I just have some water please if that’s okay with you?” I ask very cautiously not wanting to go over the line which he has set out by his hospitality.

“Of course it is, just take a seat” he says as he sees me standing awkwardly in the corner as he puts the kettle on for what I presume is tea. In the seat, I feel my legs shaking, and my hands are pulling my fingers into awkward angles. Not long, there’s a large glass of water in front of me, as well as a plate with a collection of biscuits on. The water is appealing, but the food isn’t. I’ll just stick to the drink I think.

“Do you feel any better?” he asks, as he takes a sip of the tea he’s made.

“A bit…” I whisper, not being able to let enough breath to fall out my mouth to have any louder response.

“Well that’s good… shit I don’t know you’re name!” he exclaims causing me to jump out of my seat a little, resulting to a little bit of water to fall out of my glass onto my top. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to jump you,” he begins, “do you want a new top?”

“I’m okay thanks, and I’m Jack.” I mumble.

“I’m Alex, sorry you never asked what mine was, but I just assume that as you ask and receive an answer, you should give an answer to your question too… sorry I’m rambling.” He sighs, looking down to the table and grabbing a biscuit from the plate and biting into half of it. “Sorry do you want one?” He asks, pushing the plate right under my nose, whilst still consuming the food, but I just shake my head. “Please, they’re really good. I admit, they’re shop bought, but they’re still really tasty, and you look tired after everything which has happened, and could do with some food.” He points out.

“I’m alright, thank you though.”

After those words left my mouth, we were left in an incredibly awkward silence.

“Ermm so, do you want to go now? Like to get you a little bit of help, because without wanting to be rude, but you have just attempted suicide, and you seemed pretty adamant about doing it. I’m not an expert, but it’d be good to talk to someone professionally I think.” he says after 3 minutes of the silence.

“Yeah, I guess.” I mumble.

“Okay, just wait by the front door whilst I get my car keys. Do you want a coat or anything? It’s pretty chilly out there and you’re only in a tee shirt.”

“I’m fine thank you.” I say before making my way to the front door and waiting by it for Alex.

After not even a minute, he joins me at the door. “Ready?” and I just nod my head. “Cool, let’s go.” He says, and opens the door. As soon as we take a step outside, I feel the cold. I hadn’t noticed it before, but he was right, it was pretty cold. As the front door is locked, Alex looks at me and sighs to himself. “You’re cold aren’t you?” I don’t say anything, as I felt so incredibly rude that he is doing this for me. “Let me grab a jacket for you to wear.” And the front door is opened again. I hear him run up the set of stairs pretty heavily whilst I hug myself to keep myself as warm as possible.

Ironic really, if you think that not even an hour ago, I was ready to jump into the depths of a freezing cold river, and now that I’m accepting another layer for warmth.

“Here you are.” He says as he passes me a grey hoodie with some logo on the back of it which I am yet to know.

“Thank you.” I say.

“Come on, let’s get into the car, where there’s some heating.” He commands, and leads me to a small car, which seems a little cluttered with random objects. I get into the passenger side, feeling incredibly awkward. The sleeves of his hoodie are down to my hands, and my eyes are looking every direction, not to sure what to focus on.

“Right,” he begins as he enters the car. “Let’s go. Do you want any music or anything?”

Anything to avoid an awkward silence. “Yes please.”

“Any suggestions?” He says as he goes through his phone, presumably looking for an artist.

“No, just chose whatever you want. You’ve already gone so far out of your way to help me.” I point out, feeling incredibly guilty for the aid he’s given to me.

“It’s no problem what so ever. And okay, I’ll just shuffle it.” He says, before putting the phone down and starting the engine. The car soon fills with the sounds of a band who I slightly recognise from begin played during recess at middle school, but nothing I’m very familiar with.

“So Jack, tell me about yourself.” He begins.

“There isn’t really much to tell to be honest. Nothing exciting has ever happened to me, it’s all just sucks.” I draw out, feeling guilty as soon as I say that, not wanting to be too much of a burden on Alex.

“I’m sure there will be later.” He says, as he drives along the road which I’m vaguely familiar of.

Soon though, I feel my lids begin to grow heavy. I try as hard as I can to not let myself fall asleep, because I don’t want Alex to think I’m any crazier than I already am.

“Just go to sleep,” he quietly says to me, “It’s a bit of a drive to where we’re going, so I don’t worry about it.”

With the confirmation that I could, I just let my lids close and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I sleep a little without as much restlessness.

***

“Jack,” I feel my shoulder being shuck and I slowly open my eyes, to see Alex again. I look to my left though, and I see a woman whom I don’t recognise. She’s wearing a blue top, and I can only presume that her bottoms are the same shade of blue.

“Come on, you need to get out.” Alex says, crouching down so he’s at eye level with me. “You’ll get some help here, how does that sound?” He reaches over me, to undo my seatbelt, as I just look straight forward. “Do you want I hand getting out?” He asks, and I just nod my head feeling very numb about where I’m about to go. Where, I’m not too sure, but one thing for certain which I know is that I’m being sent to the looney bin.

Alex takes my right hand, and wraps his arm around me, to help me out of the car. He holds my hand for the whole journey to the doors and leads me to a empty white room.

“I’ll give you a few minutes.” The woman says, as Alex sits me down on to the bed.

I then cry.

It’s actually official. I’m crazy.

I feel Alex hold me into his chest and I cry onto him.

“You’ll get better I promise. They’re good people here, and soon enough, you’ll feel like a new person. How does that sound?”

“I need to give you your hoodie back.” I cry into his shoulder.

“Don’t worry about the hoodie, Jack. I just want you to know that this is for the best. I don’t know you, but I can promise that you’ll get better here.”

“Do my family know I’m here?” I ask

“Yes, I found your wallet and you had a contact number for your mom on it. She said that she’ll be down here as soon as she can to see how you are.”

“Will you come and visit again?” I ask, because never have I trusted someone as quickly as I have Alex.

“I’m not aloud to, family only, but when you get out, you know where I live, and I’d like to see how you’re getting on. I have to go now, but I’ll see you later in life. I promise” He says before giving me a final squeeze and lets go of me.

“Bye” I whisper to him, and he smiles down to me.

“I promise I’ll see you later. Bye Jack.” And with that, he left me on my own in the strange room in the strange place,I have no idea where about this place is.

I hope he’ll stay true to his word about seeing me later, because I will really need to thank him if this turns out as good as he’s made it out to be.