I Can't Blame You for Being You, but You Can't Blame Me for Hating It

Olivia recognized that she was hyper-mature in her attitude about changing High Schools her senior year. She knew that moving to a new state and leaving her childhood friends should be emotionally crippling, but Olivia just wasn’t feeling the pain. She had begun to outgrow her childhood friends. Olivia rarely seemed to be on the same page as them. She was tired of the constant conversations about nothing of real importance and outings that she really did not care about or enjoy, but she had nobody else.

Chicago was also keeping her spirits up. Olivia and her family were leaving the dingy Iowa countryside for the big city, and Olivia was ecstatic. She had always loved Chicago- the music, the sports, the diversity, and the pizza for Christ’s sake! Even if she had still cherished her friends, Chicago and her pizza could soothe any woe Olivia had.

“I know starting a new school your senior year is tough, Olivia,” Hanna, Olivia’s mom, started sweetly that night at dinner, “but just be yourself, and you’ll find a group of people who love you just as much as your friends back home.” Hanna smiled encouragingly.

“Thanks, mom.” Olivia returned the smile.

“Your mother is right. This whole transition is going to be much smoother than you think, dear.” Olivia’s dad, Jack, comforted.

“I know. I’m oddly calm about the switch, excited almost.”

“Well, don’t tell Iowa. She’ll be heartbroken to know you’ve moved on so quickly.” Olivia chuckled. Jack always made bad jokes, and Olivia always laughed.

Olivia considered the idea of ‘being herself,’ and came to the conclusion that herself was whoever she wanted to be. Olivia hated being boxed in by her friends back in Iowa. They wanted her to be just like them- pretty, light, smart, and fashion forward. They wanted her to listen to top 40 instead of classic rock. Olivia let them mold her. Some days she hated herself for it, but some days she was thankful. They taught her how to do her makeup perfectly, how to dress, how to get a boy’s attention, and how to hold it for all long as you want. These were lessons she was thankful for.

Those things weren’t Olivia, though. She wasn’t a top 40 girl who wanted to fall in love with the quarterback. She loved classic rock, punk rock, and maybe you could throw in some metal on a rough day. She didn’t want to fall in love with the quarterback because she knew that high school romances end. Admittedly, there was the occasional success story but 97 percent of the time things ended due to college, work, or just growing up. Olivia was not looking to fall in love, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to use the skills her friends had taught her to have a little fun. High school was more fun with a boyfriend after all.

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The next morning Olivia’s alarm went off too early for her liking, but she got up anyway. She groggily looked at her reflection as she contemplated the day’s look. She decided that Chicago would love to see the real Olivia, and she was determined to make Chicago fall in love with her. She curled her long brown hair into nice big curls that fell just passed her shoulders. She did her make-up simple enough, eyeliner a little heavy but not too heavy, red lips, and eyebrows on fleek. Olivia decided that her favorite shirt, a Smiths t-shirt that she had transformed into a crop top, would help to make today as good as possible. She finished her look with some jeans shorts and a pair of black combat boots. With one final look in the mirror, Olivia walked out to her car and left for school.

High School is Chicago was drastically different from Olivia’s experience in small town Iowa, as predicted. Olivia’s new school held the same population as her hometown. Maybe she wasn’t as prepared as she originally believed. Olivia assumed that her look would make a splash, but she was overlooked and blended into a sea of teenagers without notice. Olivia was officially nervous.

The office was easy enough to find and Olivia received her schedule for the day. Olivia had college prep for the first two hours of the day. Then she had Trig which was followed by AP English. After English, Olivia had AP Chemistry followed by lunch. 6th hour was AP US Government, and the last hour of the day Olivia got to spend as an aide in the library. At least class would be easy enough, Olivia thought.

“And here is your locker number…. 546.” The sweet receptionist pointed out.

“Sweet. Now which direction should I head to find it?” The receptionist pointed to the left, “Thank you so much.”

“And up the stairs! I believe 546 is on the second floor dear.” Olivia smiled once more to the receptionist before heading out the door to find her locker.

She found her locker easy enough and threw her backpack inside. Olivia looked at her watch and noted that she still had 15 minutes before school started. She looked around noticing the different cliques and groups of friends and decided that if she wanted to make friends, she had to be active. Nobody was going to walk up to her as she stood by her locker looking around with scared eyes. Olivia stood up a little straighter with determination in her eyes, but immediately slumped back onto her locker wondering how she was going to walk up to a group of people and ask to be their friend. Olivia began to grow even more anxious.

“HEADS UP!” Someone cried from down the hall.

Olivia’s head jerked up to see a football coming for her face. She immediately reached out a hand and caught it.

“Wow! Nice hands.” Complimented a tall young man with a messy crop of sandy blonde hair and tan skin.

“Oh, no big deal. Dad wanted a son, so we always played catch.” Olivia joked as she tossed the ball back to the beautiful boy.

“Oh yeah? He make you watch the Bears play every week too?”

“No. He did make me play pop warner though, said my spiral was too good to put to waste.” She smiled proudly at the boy.

“You’re lying.” He looked utterly amazed and impressed.

“Not at all.”

“How long did you play?”

“Till middle school, that’s when the boys started to get bigger than me and getting sacked started hurting more than I liked.”

“So let me recap. A beautiful girl that played football and likes the Smiths?” He asked, referring to Olivia’s shirt, “How come I’ve never seen you are here before? You new?”

“Those things are true, and I am new. Today’s my first day.” Olivia smiled up at him as the bell rang, and she started down the hall.

“Can I at least get your name?!” He called after her.

“Olivia!” She yelled over her shoulder, smiling. Maybe things were going to be alright after all.

Olivia walked to first class of the day with a new pep in her step. She didn’t get beautiful boy’s name, but she knew he’d give her another opportunity to learn it. With beautiful boy in mind, Olivia sauntered down the hall to her College Prep class. She took a seat in the back next to a chubby boy who seemed to be trying to grow out some major sideburns. He looked up from the notebook he was scribbling in as Olivia sat down.

“You like the Smiths?” He asked.

“About as much as the air I breathe.” The boy smiled shyly.

“Cool.” The boy obviously didn’t know where else to take the conversation.

“My name’s Olivia. I’m new here.” Olivia offered her hand, “What’s your name?”

“Patrick.” He took her hand and shook it, “Are you liking it so far?”

“Well, I’ve been here for about 30 minutes, but I’m already convinced that it’s light-years better than my hometown.”

“Where are you from?”

“Small town, Iowa” Olivia rolled her eyes at the thought of Iowa.

“Yuck.” Patrick grimaced and Olivia laughed.

“I agree.”

“Well, Olivia, I’m not the coolest dude in Chicago, but I am a friend to any Smiths fan.”

“Patrick, I think we just may become great friends.” They smiled at each other one last time before the teacher began talking.

College Prep was incredibly boring. Mr. Dewes lectured about responsibility and time management for the entire hour before the bell finally rang and cut him off. Olivia was sure that Mr. Dewes was going to lead to her breaking point this year. After first period, all the students in the College Prep course had a second College Prep course in the same room. Olivia looked over at Patrick, who was blankly staring at brick on the wall.

“Patrick?”

“Hmm?” His gaze remained on the brick.

“Um.. Patrick? Buddy?”

“What?” He turned to Olivia.

“Nothing. You just looked a little zoned out there.”

“Oh. Yeah. I was completely.” He chuckled, “That was literally the worst lecture of my life.”

“I agree.” Olivia laughed, “I think these prep courses may be the death of me.”

“Literally.” The two laughed, “Hey. If you get no better offers, you should come eat lunch with me in the courtyard underneath the big oak tree.”

“Yes. Totally!” Olivia smiled. She hadn't thought about not having someone to eat lunch with yet. Olivia was becoming increasingly thankful for Patrick.

The second hour of College Prep was as dull as the first. Olivia started to question her choice to take these classes. Sure, she wanted to succeed in college, but at what cost? Was she really willing to sit through two mind-numbingly boring classes a day? Trig went by without any events to note. AP English was a god-send fourth period. Olivia loved her English class back in Iowa, and English with Mrs. Bender was no different. The boring pattern of the day was shaken in Olivia’s AP Chemistry class. Beautiful boy was there. Olivia was already seated when he walked into the room. He saw Olivia and proceeded to sit down in front of her, smiling.

“Hello, Olivia.” He greeted.

“Hello, sir whose name I do not know.”

“How rude of me! I never told you my name.” His face was filled which mock horror, “My name is Bryant.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Bryant.” Olivia smiled as they shook hands.

“Olivia, Olivia, Olivia….” Bryant began, “Tell me something about yourself.”

“I moved here from Iowa.” Olivia giggled at Bryant’s look of mock disgust, “I am much happier to be in Chicago.”

“Good.”Bryant smiled at Olivia one last time before the teacher told him to turn around in his seat.

Resigned to only looking at the back of Bryant’s head, AP Chemistry became painfully boring. Olivia was tempted on several occasions to lean forward and whisper sarcastic remarks in Bryant’s ear, but was stopped by fear of Mrs. Tanner, who Olivia guessed was likely to smack her if she spoke out of turn. Olivia was not ready to upset Mrs. Tanner on her first day of class. At the end of class, Bryant turned in his seat to Olivia.

“Have lunch with me today.” Olivia sent up a silent curse.

“I can’t. I’m sorry. I already told my friend from College Prep that I would have lunch with him.” The two got up and started towards the door.

“Him? Miss Olivia just how many men do you have vying for your attention already?” Bryant joked as the two made their way towards Olivia’s locker.

“Oh shut up. He likes the Smiths too. It was an instant connection.”

“What is this so-called-Smiths-fan’s name?”

“Patrick. I never got his last name. He has some serious side burns, though.” Olivia explained as she put her books in her locker and grabbed her lunch.

“Patrick Stump, I’m guessing based on your musical connection.” The pair stopped walking as Olivia reached for the door that would take her to the courtyard, “He’s safe enough.”

“Well, thank you for the Patrick-rating.” Olivia glanced up at Bryant.

“It’s my pleasure.” He smiled down at Olivia, “You should have lunch with me tomorrow.”

“Maybe.” She smiled as she walked outside to meet Patrick.

Olivia found Patrick just where he said he would be, under the oak tree. He was alone when Olivia took a seat next to him.

“Hey! I didn’t think you’d actually come?” He smiled.

“What? You think I would stand up one of the only two people that have spoken to me today?” Olivia gaped, “And a Smiths fan, no less?”

“Just two people, huh?”

“Yeah. For some misplaced reason, I thought Chicago would be much more excited for me to be here.” Olivia mused as she gazed at the sky.

“Don’t take it personal. Chicago doesn’t get excited for anyone to be here.” The pair laughed.

“Is anyone else coming or is it just the two of us?” Olivia looked around for anyone that seemed to be joining Patrick.

“Nah. All my friends are older and graduated.” Olivia nodded, but still felt a little sad that Patrick always ate lunch alone. There was a brief silence that fell between the two as they ate. It wasn’t awkward, but Olivia wanted to know more about her lunch partner.

“Tell me something about yourself, Patrick.” She said turning to him.

“Umm… I’m in a band.” He shrugged his shoulders as if he was unsure if this information met Olivia’s qualification of ‘something about yourself.’

“Like a band, band or the marching band?” Olivia crossed her fingers that it was not the marching band. Having a friend in a band would be awesome. Unless they sucked, then it would blow.

“Band, band.”

“What kind of music do you play?”

“We haven’t exactly nailed down a sound yet, but I think we’re going for a punk rock vibe.”

“Sweet, can I come watch you guys practice sometime?”

“Sure, but we’re not very good, yet.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

The rest of the day passed without any incident worth noting until Olivia’s final hour of the day. Olivia loved her time in the library. Libraries were always her favorite place to be. She loved being surrounded by books. Writing and literature were her passions. She planned to be an English major in college. She loved creating new worlds and entering worlds created by others. The librarian, Mrs. Myers, spent the first half hour showing Olivia the ropes. Everything was easy enough, and Olivia caught on quick. After Mrs. Myers was convinced that Olivia knew what she was doing, she retired to her office and let Olivia run the circulation desk.

With fifteen minutes left in the day, someone came into the library. Olivia looked up and smiled, seeing that it was Bryant who had sauntered in.

“Well, fancy this.” Bryant smirked as he made his way over to the circulation desk.

“What brings you into the library on this fine afternoon?” Bryant rested his elbows on the desk and leaned toward Olivia.

“I heard whispers that a cute girl would be in here, so I staged a rescue mission to get me out of Trig.” He looked at Olivia with seriousness in his eyes. Olivia responded with the same intensity.

“Was anyone hurt in the mission?”

“No. All our comrades have reached checkpoint bravo without injury.”

“And the cute girl? Was she in fact in the library, or was the intel wrong?” Bryant and Olivia locked eyes.

“The intel was definitely true.” Olivia smiled and looked away in fake embarrassment.

“Well, now that the mission is complete and the intel has been verified, what is your next move, sir?” Olivia looked back at Bryant with playfulness in her eyes. Bryant smiled.

“I was hoping that the girl would agree to spend some time together. The intel also reported her as being new in town, so I thought that I could show her the best parts of Chicago.” Olivia smirked.

“Now, just to clarify, I am the girl in this joke, right.”

“Oh God, no. How embarrassing for you. I was talking about Mrs. Myers.” Olivia made a face of faux horror and lightly punched Bryant’s arm. He grabbed it and laughed, “For real. Will you let me show you around Chicago?”

“Of course.” They smiled at each other as the bell rang, signaling the end of the day, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Bryant.”

“See ya’ then, Olivia.” They waved goodbye and walked in their different directions out of the library. Olivia was smiling to herself. Bryant seemed like he would be fun, she thought to herself. Olivia could not have planned a better first day in Chicago.