Rookie of the Year

Tonight is the home opener and I am scared shitless. You would think that after the rough preseason I encountered that I would be ready for the first game of the regular season, but I'm not. I'm even more worried than I was before preseason. I think it is for a lot of different reasons this time. The major one being that if I make even one small mistake, the entire world will come crushing down around me to say that a woman doesn't belong on the ice with the guys. Another reason is now that the season is starting, there is a lot more media pressure on me no matter how I do on the ice or how the team does. I'm worried that they are going to dig around enough to see that I have Ava and I'm not ready for that to come out unless it is on my terms. Corey and I are actually going to the UC early so we can meet with the head of the PR department for the team so we can discuss how to let the information out. Being that I live with him and he's practically Ava's father, I think it is important that we include Corey in the conversation with the PR rep.

Coming up with my pre-game ritual during preseason was difficult. I couldn't just copy Corey, Patrick, or even Jonathan but had to figure it out for myself. And it was even more difficult when we played at home because anything could change the ritual where my daughter was concerned. I'm surprised that between Ava and I that we didn't mess Corey up tremendously over the time we have spent with him. But now that Corey's parents are here, it will be a little easier for however long they stay.

But no matter if it changes or not, my ritual starts with some heavy breakfast foods for both Corey and I. This was an adjustment for him to let me cook once in a while and especially on game day, but I think he appreciates it in the long run. After breakfast, I make sure Ava is ready for the day and spend about an hour with her playing or just being with her. Then I put her down for a nap and get to preparing a sandwich for lunch that I won't eat until at least an hour.

Once the sandwich is made, it's my turn to take a nap. I tell Corey's parents that if Ava gets up, they are more than welcome to get her and do whatever they choose as her 'grandparents'. I then join Corey in his bed for a pregame nap. This is completely platonic and I usually hug the opposite side of the bed from him, but his bed is just a lot more comfortable than mine and I enjoy hearing him breathe, it calms me and makes it a little easier to sleep.

After our naps, we eat our lunches - mine is my sandwich with a fresh apple and his is a homemade cauliflower pizza. We then leave for the UC or for the bus, whichever is needed for that particular game. Today of course is a drive to the UC for the meeting and then the game.

"Sophie, Corey it is great to see you both. I'm Karen and I'll be the lead on your press release and I'm also the head of the PR department for the team. You'll be getting to know me quite well while you are here in Chicago Sophie." She is a peppy, redhead with curly hair that she tries to tame but doesn't quite make that mark. She seems to be about Corey's age, maybe a year or two older. She seems like she'll be able to know where we are coming from and be on our side, without question.

"Thank you for meeting with us. I'm sure you know what we are here to discuss." I respond to her greeting.

"Your adorable daughter Ava, yes. I have seen her photo in your stall in the locker room, Corey's too. She is just precious and I can definitely understand where you are coming from in not wanting the world to know before beginning the season. The opposing men would most likely treat you differently, don't you think?" Corey and I have had discussion upon discussion about this and we agree with what Karen said.

"We believe so. That's why I want to play tonight's home opener without the world knowing, but then I want it to come out tomorrow about Ava. I know that it will come out eventually when the media digs back far enough to figure it out, and we would prefer to be out in front of it. We want it to come out, on our terms."

"Definitely understandable. Let's sit and talk about how we want this to work. I'm sure we will have it planned before you need to get downstairs." And so we entered her office in the lower levels of the UC and got to planning. Before we knew it, it was time for us to get to the locker room for prep and the ending of our rituals. We thanked Karen for getting the best plan together for our situation and we headed out.

"I think that went really well, Soph. Tomorrow will be hard, but we are going to be prepared."

"Thanks Corey, I think we'll get through it just like we've gotten through everything else. Let's get through this game and worry about the rest tomorrow." We nod and enter the locker room. Only Toews and Keith have beat us here from what we can tell.

I head to my locker on the left side of the Hawks logo and Corey to his across the logo on the right side of the room. I had put my gear in here before our meeting with Karen, as had Corey, so I gathered the items I would need so that I could go and change in the private area the team had cordoned off for me. It used to be a small equipment room, but they converted it for me. This only came after the talks with the Captains and Coaches in Vegas over the summer and was not apart of the original plans.

Once dressed, I return to my stall to sit and go through my mantra in my head. The guys have almost all filtered in by now and I'm grateful. Some of them have each other and discussions about everything but hockey as part of their rituals, some begin their pranks for after the game during the ritual time, and others just sit in their stalls like I do doing their thing. I rely on the guys and their obnoxious selves to give me peace because I can't stand perfect silence and music doesn't help, so the guys being noisy is perfect for me.

"Okay team, pep talk time." And that's how we get rolling into pregame. The season opener is underway.