Lose Your Fight

Please picture this with present day Jack and Alex. It's more realistic so please try to imagine this.
ENJOY!
_____

"Alex, I'm going to bed," Lisa informed her fiancé, walking into the living room to kiss him goodnight.

He was half awake on the couch, with Jack leaning heavily onto his shoulder, dead asleep. They were up late watching the overtime on the Ravens game but Jack just passed out after his long, emotionally draining day.

Alex had invited his best friend over, not expecting him to be moody and distant. Jack just seemed sad lately, and it was only worsening. Alex hoped the twenty-seven year old would snap out of his funk so he could retain his energetic best friend.

"What d'you think is up with him?" She asked softly, kissing Alex deeply, then pecking the sleeping man's cheek.

Though Jack wasn't exactly her favorite out of Alex's best friends, they had know him for fifteen years, and the man had never been so down. It was strange to see the always carefree guy when his mood was in such a damper. Lisa didn't like Jack, but she was concerned.

"Don't know. I've never seen him so..." Alex paused to sigh heavily, "so depressed. It was, like, as soon as it was Valentine's Day, or around when we got engaged, he just, I don't know, slumped."
And yeah, Lisa's fiance was right. It was just like Jack woke up one day and decided that he was done for.

They sighed in unison, as Alex rubbed Jack's hand with his thumb gently. The youngest made a small noise and turned his head to the right, pressing his cold nose into Alex's neck.

"When are you gonna come to bed?" She asked softly, but her voice held impatience Alex knew was bound to get him in trouble. He didn't want to fight with Lisa, but he didn't want to leave Jack either. It wasn't like him to fall asleep so early; Jack always partied late. So that clued the elder in that he hadn't been sleeping well, along with his emotional downfall.

"I don't wanna wake him," Alex whispered, brushing a fallen piece of blonde hair from his best friend's closed eyes. Lisa nodded with pursed lips, doing her best to hold in frustration. "Love you, baby."

"Love you too," she murmured back, biting her lip. Alex was glad she didn't say anything because she just didn't understand.

Really, no one did.

No one knew Jack like Alex did. No one knew the extent of his lack of positivity and hype. At first people thought Jack was just getting sick, but then it was two months later and nothing had improved.

And Alex was terrified.

Hours went on with the pair remaining in that position, Jack leaning on a supporting Alex. But eventually, the elder got antsy and needed to stand or do something because he was just really stressed out.

So carefully crawling out from below Jack, he brushed his teeth and grabbed his songbook, returning to his old spot on the couch.

Concentrating hard, Alex wrote Jack a song.

It wasn't the first he had written for his best friend, but this one was definitely special, because it assessed the situation and encouraged, a perfect "let me help you" song.

And once Alex was satisfied with how the lyrics sounded, he shut the book and curled into Jack, finally finding comfort in knowing he was okay for now, and falling asleep.

_______
Alex woke to the bitter cold of being alone and the sound of sniffling.

When he slowly opened his sleep-heavy eyes, he saw his best friend staring down at the notebook page, tears glistening in his dark chocolate eyes. His best friend heard him roll over, glancing back to smile sadly at him.

"Alex, this is..." he whispered, closing the book with lack of speech. The song was beautiful and Jack definitely felt a lot better after reading it.

"I wrote it last night when you were sleeping. M'gonna make breakfast," he announced, sauntering into the kitchen to make Jack's favorite blueberry pancakes, not even bothering to ask.

"Thanks for letting me crash here," Jack said, following the elder and wiping at his red eyes. He ran a hand through his unkempt hair and retrieved ingredients from the kitchen, having been at the couple's house enough times to be able to confidently navigate the cupboards.

"No problem. But we do have to talk."

"Why?" Jack asked, playing dumb in hopes of evading questions. Alex wasn't stupid, they'd known each other for fifteen years. He flipped a fluffy pancake, shooting a look to Jack that evidently said "are you kidding me?"

"Jay, last night you fell asleep on me after being sad and moody, and this morning, you were nearly crying over a song-"

"Morning babe," Lisa entered the kitchen and snaked her arms around her fiancée's waist and kissed his cheek, successfully cutting off their conversation. "Why are you making blueberry pancakes? I hate them," she stated, sniffing the air skeptically.

"Well, Jack likes them so-"

"When's the last time you made me breakfast?" She interrupted once more, facing the elder with her hands on her hips. Jack was busying himself with setting the table, holding back a laugh.

"I don't know, I just..." Alex sighed and resigned to the fact he wasn't winning this one. Oh well, at least Jack's okay.

Lisa stormed out the door, grabbing her keys and muttering angrily. The elder decided to let her go, because he wasn't too worried. She'd be back later; she always was.

Now that she was out of their hair, Alex needed to talk, a lot. He wasn't taking no for an answer. His best friend was difficult, no doubt, but it was worth it. Alex just wanted his best friend back, and he do anything to restore Jack's happiness.

"Jack seriously, talk to me," Alex snapped. Jack sighed, stuffing one last bite in his mouth before thinking of an answer. There was no easy way out of interrogation from his best friend, so he decided just to be honest. After all, weren't best friends supposed to do that?

"I don't really know, just all of the sudden... I realized that my life was going nowhere. You're getting married, Alex. And I'm stuck here alone, nobody cares, nobody loves me," Jack sighed, realizing how stupid he sounded, but Alex just looked at him with pity shining in his eyes.

"Jack, people do love you. You have so much to live for. Don't you remember what the song said? Don't lose your fight, kid."

"Yeah, but you gotta understand. You wake up to the love of your life every day telling you she loves you, and that you're perfect and no one could ever replace you. You don't understand what it feels like to wake up and be alone, to know that no one feels that way about you. It's shitty, Alex, and it makes me want to drop off the face of the earth, because it sure seems like I wouldn't be missed," the younger strained, trying desperately to get his point across. Luckily, he did. Jack was not in the mood to explain that again.

Alex didn't know what to say. Really, he was rendered completely speechless. He had no idea how his friend was feeling, but now it all made sense.

"And y'know, it all just set in when you proposed. You made me realize that I better hurry up, 'cause eventually, I'll run out of time."

"Jack, please, I-"

"No, its okay. I don't expect you to understand. You've had someone since senior year. You've never felt completely insignificant, because even if you went a few months without her, or someone to replace her, I've always needed you. You keep me together. You did it again last night," Jack said slowly, looking his best friend in the eye to add meaning to the already important words.

"Jesus, Jack. How often do you think like this?" The elder questioned worriedly, not even glancing down at their forgotten - and most likely cold - breakfast.

"You don't wanna know," Jack murmured, a ghost of a sad smile gracing his lips. Alex let out a small, strangled noise of helpless-ness. Then, he stood up suddenly and grabbed the taller by the wrist and pulled him out the door.

"We're going for a walk."
_________

It was raining by the time they arrived at the cemetery.

"Why are we here?" Jack questioned with pure confusion. Alex gazed directly at Jack, dark brown eyes connecting to meet a look like his own.

But Alex gestured widely to the grave site with a solemn glare overtaking his features.

"If you end up here before I do, I swear on my fucking love for music, I'll be right there next to you within the next hour, y'hear? Right there," Alex yelled. He wasn't angry at Jack, he was angry at himself for not addressing the situation earlier, and fixing it. He was also yelling so Jack took in the sincerity and truth to his dark words. "You are my best friend. Do you hear that?! I cannot live without you, so don't you dare leave!"

Tears spilled down Jack's cheeks for two reasons. Alex was mad at him, and just the mere thought of Alex offing himself made the younger sick to his stomach.

His best friend didn't deserve the burden Jack was. And as much as he just wanted to make himself disappear, he knew now he couldn't.

Either way, they lose.

"Now c'mere, you twat," Alex said softly, anger and frustration diminishing, and his best friend obeyed, accepting the hug and clinging to the singer. Alex rubbed his back and did his best to soothe him, but it was hopeless.

And for now, Jack just cried into his shirt, because he really just didn't know what else to do.