Starting Over

Crickets where out and the moon rising in the sky when they arrived in the city. Vivian had a heavy feeling of nostalgia. Everything is different... yet the same? Gai bid them farewell with the promise to see them soon. He was thankful to return to his comfortable wheel chair. He even showed off to Xavier rolling backwards and slickly maneuvering it in crazy turns before leaving. The three walked on through the city Xavier slowly dragging forwards. He wanted to rest severely, but he fought it hard, to prove he was tough.

“Most of the city was rebuilt after the war. There's also a lot of new additions.” Kakashi stated watching Vivi take it all in. “Konoha was a sort of a refugee camp during the war. When it was over many people wanted to stay.” Kakashi continued slowly as they walked down the peaceful streets. What's going through her mind? He tried to read Vivians emotions but he couldn't come to a clear conclusion. Vivi nodded only half way present. Again, she wondered if returning was the right thing to do. She looked at the ramen shop recalling evenings spent with her father. Then the place that had the best barbeque in town. Or at least it used to. Who knows now. She thought to herself.

“There's buildings here that are at least ten floors high,” she whispered in amazement. Kakashi only nodded silently pulling out his book. I don't know if I can be here. I don't know if I can face going back to that house. Vivi felt her chest squeeze tight as anxiety began to build. She felt her strides growing smaller and slower until she stopped. Kakashi continued a couple steps and stopped also. Xavier bumped in to her from behind tiredly, with an oomph.

“Are we there yet?” He looked up with droopy eyes.

“No... almost just stopping for a short rest my legs are tired,” she lied meekly. Xavier nodded and sat down on the side of the street grateful. Kakash approached Vivi with slight concern and curiosity.

“What's wrong?” he kept his voice low and collected.

“I-I...just” Vivi paused unsure of what to say. I don't think he would understand. “Never mind...”

“Vivian,” his voice was sing song and almost condescending. “You said you would try, remember? Just tell me or I can't help. Right?” He attempted to sound reassuring, but he only came off as calm and nonchalant. Vivian sighed.

“The house?” she wasn't sure if it was a statement or a question, or even a whole thought.

“Hmm?”

“I... What's it like now?”

“Honestly it's the same. The whole clans area was untouched by the war. Most of the damage took place elsewhere in the village,” he shrugged and eyed her suspiciously expecting more.

“Oh,” her voice was small.

“I had everything cleaned with lights and running water so you're all set.”

“T-thanks,” she felt a heavy stone drop in her gut. “So... it's all just waiting for me?” Waiting... untouched... perfectly preserved... memories, and faces, and responsibility, and people left behind.... waiting... untouched... Memories. Images began to swirl in her head in sickening flashes. She heard voices of people in the past, shadowed clan members yelling, and talking at her all at once. She squeezed her eyes shut breathing rapidly and rubbing her temples. Stop. In the memory, she was kneeling down. Stop! Her hands where warm, her arms too. The sensation seemed to flow down her and pool in her lap. No! Another image flashed, she was covered in blood, it seeped down her body, slowly soaking in to the strands of her clothes. Warm... so warm. She wiped furiously at her body trying to get it off. Wringing her hands the blood just spurted through the cracks between her fingers with a squishing sound. Not my blood. Not my blood. She shook her head.

“Vivian!” Kakashi grabbed her as she fell to her knees. “Vivian,” he shook her and waved his hand in front of her face frantically trying to bring her back to the present. Xavier shot up alert and by her side.

“Kakashi what happened!” he yelled unaware of how loud he was.

“She's ok Xavier, calm down. She's just passed out,” Kakashi responded coolly checking her pulse and lifting her in his arms.

“Passed out? Why the hell did she pass out for?” He exclaimed still yelling. Kakashi looked at him briefly amused with his choice of language.

“I don't know. I think she's just been pushing herself too hard, and needs some rest.” Kakashi began walking towards the Hokage office holding Vivi close. “Now come on. And keep your voice down, you are aware that most of the village is trying to sleep right?” Kakashi warned sternly. “And you're yelling in the middle of the street.” Xavier became bashful at that, and trotted to catch up to Kakashi, staring nervously over at his unconscious aunt. He looked up at Kakashi uncertain if he should speak or remain silent.

“You're going to treat her right? I know some first aid maybe, let me look?” he asked with a little desperation in his voice. Memories of his mothers passing echoed in the back of his mind.

“No,” Kakashi shook his head. “It will be alright. I've already examined her,” Xavier looked unsatisfied. “And to be extra sure I'll have medical ninja attend to her when we get inside the building,” he looked sideways at Xavier almost daring him to speak again. Xavier swallowed hard and decided to leave it to Kakashi.