Make You Better

Trois

The morning started with my alarm going off at six-thirty. In the split second of my sleep still holding onto my brain, I envisioned opening my eyes to my bedroom, Fitz sleeping on the pillow next to me, and the sunrise shining in through my windows.

When I opened my eyes, reality crashed down around me.

“Fuck,” I breathed, my hand quickly reaching up onto the night table and grabbing the source of the loud noise. Hitting the home button, I dropped my hand back into the sheets as the noise silenced. After the air had fallen back to it’s quiet tranquility, I let out a long sigh and pressed my tense body back into the mattress.

I didn’t need to get up. I didn’t need to shower and get ready for work. I didn’t need to feed Fitz or find something to wear. I could sleep; I could roll back over and drift back into a peaceful slumber.

But that didn’t happen.

My brain let me relax in the cold bed sheets until seven.

Stretching my limbs, my feet dangling off of the edge of the mattress while my hands hit the wall above me, I let a long yawn stretch out my jaw. Tears rolling down my cheeks, I pushed my body into a seated position and then rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand. Inspecting the small black smudges that I wiped from my face, I shrugged my shoulders, letting them slump forward and then pulled them back, feeling the stretch rush through my chest and spine.

“Oh no, what if we don’t have any coffee?” I mumbled to myself as I pushed my body into a standing position, my tired eyes now wide with fear as I thought about leaving the cabin and trying to trace my way back to the main road. It was bad enough that we were on a dirt road, but add snow to that; we were basically stranded in the wilderness.

Tip-toeing out of my room, I quickly looked at the other door on this side of the house, smiling a little when I noticed it was still open. Biting down on my bottom lip, I took one large step over to the doorframe and then poked my head in, stifling a laugh when I saw the two brunette’s sleeping under the sheets, the shorter one on his side, his arm flung around the other.

“How cute,” I whispered quietly to myself. Grabbing the doorknob, I went to close their door when the high-pitched squeaks of the bed frame cut through the silence of the room followed by a raspy voice.

“What the… Mats, Obtenez votre main hors de moi!”

Holding my hand over my mouth, I held back the urge to laugh and lifted my hand from the doorknob. Going to walk out, I glanced back into the room to see the shorter man grumble and turn on his other side. Placing my hand back by my side, I took a step back into the hallway when the other boy called my name.

“Keaton?” He was groggy, I could tell by the way his accent smothered his drawn out speech. “Why are you… you… Éveillés?”

“Pardon?” I asked, my head moving so I could see the brunette. Watching him closely, he flashed me a confused look and then pulled his hand out from under the blankets. Waving it in the air, he let out a heavy sigh and then pressed it against his face with a small thud.

“Not in bed.” He said, cracking an eye open to look at me as his fingers mindlessly scratched the hair growing on his chin.

“Oh, awake?” I asked, my eyes widening.

“Yes, why are you awake?” He asked again, the accent that was so prominent in his voice, now fading.

“My alarm went off for work,” I took another step into the doorway and pressed my shoulder against the wooden frame as the brunette I was speaking to threw the covers onto his roommate. “I tried to go back to sleep, but no luck.” I watched tentatively as he swung his feet off the side of the bed and then pressed them against the hardwood floor. Wiggling his toes, he pushed off the mattress and then slowly shuffled over to me

“Coffee?”

“That’s what I was hoping to find.” I whispered as I took in his body so close to mine. His tee shirt was hanging awkwardly on his shoulders, and his legs were covered in a pair of loose black sweats. Running my eyes down to my feet, I took a few steps back, letting the worn out scent of his cologne hit my nose. “I knocked out early last night, I don’t know if there’s any food.”

Bringing my eyes back to Derick’s, I watched as he sent me a warm smile and started heading down the hallway. Slowly trotting down the stairs, he turned his head to me and informed me that once the snow let up last night, around nine, everyone but him went out to buy a bunch of food, snacks, and drinks.

When I asked why he didn’t go, he shrugged one shoulder and then stopped at the last stair, watching to make sure I didn’t trip. “I felt weird leaving you alone, sleeping, in the middle of the woods.”

I thanked him, sending the brunette a smile as we walked across the cold floors and into the kitchen. Making my way over to the shopping bags on the counter, I rolled my eyes and started to dig through them, not at all surprised that Lea and Carl managed to neglect on putting the food away.

“It was fun last night, the game room.” Derick appeared next to me, the bright lights of the room now turned on, cancelling out the dim hues that were pouring in from the large windows. Bobbing my head on my shoulders, I pulled all of the plastic bags together in one hand and then turned to him, feeling my eyes widen when I realized how close he was. “You don’t like having fun, huh?”

“I like sleeping.” I smiled and watched as his lips parted, showing his bright white teeth and goofy grin.

“So you’re a wealthy business woman, who is twenty-six, likes nature, cats, and sleeping.”

“And Ice cream.” I added, a blush glowing on my cheeks when I heard the man gasp.

“Well, that changes everything.” Derick said sarcastically, making the smile on my face widen. “I had you all wrong.” I huffed and crossed my arms across my chest as I tried to suppress a playful smile.

“Sorry I can’t guzzle protein shakes and produce the worst smelling, toxic, vile, sweat known to the human race for a living.” I shot at the man, watching his large hands stop moving things on the counter and then drop to his sides. Eyes wide, he turned his head to me and stared, lips parted, the edges tugging up slightly.

For a moment, he didn’t speak. Looking into his eyes, I thought I had really offended him, but when the ends of his lips couldn’t hold their composure anymore, I let out a loud laugh and took a huge step back from him, grabbing the box of k-cups in my hand.

Lunging forward, the brunette pulled me into a tight hug against his chest and grabbed my sides. Biting down roughly on my lip, I tried to play it off like it wasn’t ticklish, but the longer her pursued, the harder it was to ignore. Finally, after I realized trying to wiggle out of a professional hockey players arms wasn’t getting me anywhere.

“Truce!” I called, blinking away the tears in my eyes as the fits of laughter I had been holding in escaped through my teeth. “Oh, Derick, please!” I jerked my head back, resting it against his strong shoulder, and continued to laugh, my stomach aching from the use of muscles I hadn’t exercised in a really long time.

Laughing along with me, the brunette released me from his death grip and then leaned against the counter, running his finger under his eye that was leaking small beads of water from out relentless laughter. “You… You’re a jerk.” I breathed as I started to regain feeling in my stomach.

“Does that mean we’re friends?”

“No, not at all.” I sent the man a sly smile and then turned back to the counter, taking all of the groceries and starting to stack them in cabinets. Once I was halfway done, Derick walked over to the pile and started stacking things in the other cabinets hear the fridge. When everything was put a way, I let out a content sigh and then moved over to the Keurig, cautiously checking the cabinets we didn’t touch for mugs.

“Looking for this?” The brunette held the large mug out toward me, a small smirk playing on his lips as he took a step back as soon as I went to grab it. “Admit we’re friends, and I’ll give it to you.”

“Not fair, I haven’t even had the time to get to know you, maybe you’re an asshole, I’m not committing to such a friendship until I know.” I could feel my heart flutter in my chest as we locked our eyes in a playful stare.

I wasn’t lying when I knew nothing about this man other than the fact that he was the one that Carl and Lea had picked to match with me. The most I knew about him was that he played professional hockey and had a foreign accent. I didn’t know his age or his hobbies, his favorite foods or favorite movies. All I had figured out about him on my own was that he made my heart thud in my chest, and the last time a boy made that happened, he ended up destroying it.

“Would an asshole let you get the first cup of coffee so early in the morning?” He challenged. Trying to hold up our playful stare as I dropped my gaze down to the counter and felt the overwhelming sadness and defeat wash over me.

Five years, five fucking years with the same boy. The ‘prime’ years of my life, when I was in the best mental state and the best physical shape, when I was doing great things with my life and working the hardest, he was there through all of it.

Until I realized that he only appreciated my hard work ethic because he could fuck the next-door neighbor in our bed while I was out.

“Hmm,” I watched as the brown liquid started to drip into the mug as my mind made a feeble attempt to push the memories into the back of my head. “I don’t know,” I blurted out, the happiness that was laced with my words, gone. The sound of the trickling liquid replaced our voices.

Once the mug was almost full, and the machine was done dispensing the water, I pulled the mug off of the little platform and carefully walked it over to the table that was set up in front of two massive windows that showed the backyard. Sitting down in a chair that faces the outside, I put the mug down and tried to repair the wound I had just reopened.

Sucking in a deep breath, I shut my eyes and hovered my face over the mug, letting the small puffs of steam hit my face as the aroma kept my brain awake. Sitting like this for a minute, I opened my eyes again and felt the blood in my veins start to run cold. I didn’t want to do this now. I didn’t want to dwell on things that happened a year ago. I didn’t want to let that shitbag ruin my life while he was carefree out in New York City, sleeping around. He wasn’t worth this stress, he wasn’t worth this heartache.

But it was hard. It was hard to get over someone who was so good to you, so protective and supportive. He forced me to better myself, forced me to go out there and apply to places I never thought would hire me. He threw me parties when I got promoted; he stayed up with me all night when I had work due at bizarre times for different countries. He watched my cat on business trips; he made me food when I got home late. His eyes were always happy when they were in mine.

I thought he was perfect.

I thought we were perfect.

And now he was the reason I instantly place every man, no matter how attracted I am to him, into the friend zone.

I never want to feel that kind of hurt again. I would rather have a knife in my stomach, a bullet in my heart.

“I’m French-Canadian, born in Quebec.” A gasp left my throat as I jerked my head to the side to see the brunette sitting in the chair next to me, a large mug like mine between his strong hands. The liquid in it was a lighter brown than mine, but there were still little streams of steam rising from it. “Twenty-seven, no cats, nature’s okay I guess, and I like plain old vanilla.”

“There’s nothing plain about vanilla, it’s perfect.” I hummed and felt my lips twitch up into a smile as the brunette placed the mug to his lips and took a sip. Nodding, he leaned back in his chair and let out a long sigh.

He asked about my cat, then about my house upstate. He told me there were some guys on the team that also bought houses around me, he’d been there a few times, and it was the perfect getaway from the hustle of the city. We talked about his contract extension, how he was in New York for five more years. I told him to buy a house upstate and a cat. He smiled at this, his bright eyes lingering in mine as I focused on my heart rate, trying to keep it even.

I managed to talk to him for another half hour without our eyes meeting. During that time, we spoke about my work, how I only had Sundays off during the week but didn’t mind. I told him that I liked being alone, liked relaxing with my cat and taking a bath.

He seemed to understand, which a lot of people never did. The brunette nodded when I was done, his eyes lingering on the blankets of snow shimmering under the sunrays in the backyard. The French-accented words flowed through my head as he spoke about how he felt the same way sometimes, how he liked to be alone and relax after being with twenty-two men all day.

It was comforting, to be around someone that understood. Lea and Carl always took my yearning to be alone as me still not being over my heartbreak, even though I had told them countless times that I was fine.

And I still stand by that, even though I had spells of bad thoughts that would leave me in a bad mood for hours.

Luckily, the brunette managed to pull me out of the hole I was falling into this morning before it turned into a daylong affair.

“I can make some mean pancakes.” The brunette offered after a lull in our conversation. It was nearing eight-thirty, and our coffee mugs had been empty for a while now. I knew that the others wouldn’t be awake by the time we were done cooking, but doing something to keep my mind off of everything would be nice.

“Mind some help?” I whispered, my lips not being able to pull up at the edges.

“I only let friends help me cook.”

“Well, I guess we’re friends then.” I smiled over at him and stood up, watching him quickly follow my actions and follow me back into the kitchen. Once there, we dropped our mugs into the sink and then turned to each other, our eyes locking in a long, silent stare.

It was the kind of stare that tore my organs out and lit them on fire; the kind of stare that I tried to avoid as much as possible. I wanted to drop my eyes to the ground, I wanted to walk out of the room and reset my brain. I wanted my thoughts about my past to leave; I wanted the thoughts about Derick to leave.

I wanted to go back to bed.

I wanted to be alone.

Heart pounding, I felt a hand under my chin causing everything in the room to loose color except the brunette standing in front of me. Lungs filling up with air, I brought my eyes up to the dark brown ones hovering over me and felt my nerves start to explode under my skin, rendering my body numb.

“Is everything okay, Keaton?”

I nodded, wishing that the brunette would pull his hand off of my chin, but he never did. Instead, he pulled his eyebrows together and then nodded a little, his head bobbing on his shoulders. It looked like he wanted to speak, but as the minutes ticked by, and we stayed so close I could feel the air leaving his nostrils.

The thought of kissing him rushed through me. My heart ceased beating as I dropped my eyes to his lips. As soon as I saw them move closer to me, or even look like they moved closer to me, I took a huge step back, my fingers trembling as I pressed them into my arms.

“I’m sorry.” I breathed, my eyes wide as I managed to bring my gaze as far up as his scruffy beard. “I have to go check into the office really quick, I’ll be back soon.” The lie fell easily from my lips as I quickly jerked my head up and caught a glimpse of his eyes. Watching as the bright eyes hold onto the regret swimming on his features, I nodded my head and then swiftly walked out of the room and headed over to the stairs, my knees shaking as I pulled myself up to the second floor.

Just about to enter my room, I heard heavy footsteps, and then a light pressure on my wrist.

“I had absolutely no intention on making it awkward like that. I’m sorry I did that to you.”

“No, Derick, it’s fine. It’s not a big deal, I just-“ I turned to him and looked up at those big brown eyes.

“I’m just a mess all of the time, it comes with being my friend.”

“Okay,” he shrugged, his eyes on mine as a small smile flashed on his lips.

“Okay?” I questioned, my arms lips pressing themselves into a thin line.

“I’m a mess too, most of the time.” He admitted, his hips swaying back and forth as his eyes wandered around the hallway. “Let’s go be messes and make pancakes.”

Staring at the man, watching the pink creep onto his cheeks, I felt one of my shoulders lift in a shrug.

“You don’t have to be nice to me.”

“Yeah I do”, he pulled me into his side as he directed us back to the stairs, “That’s what friends do."
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So this is my I'm having tons of fun story.
I'm super proud of Brass and his assist, so here's an update.
It'll get better, I promise.

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