Rattled Bones

She was planted on the middle of the cot with her back pressed against the wall, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to alleviate the pressure building inside her brain. Memories were pouring and overloading her, all of them feeling foreign to her body as she replayed them. It was too much, too much at one time. The more she tried to fight the loud pictures, the more it started to confuse her. A migraine was brewing in the depths of her mind as they came in floods, gaining recognition slowly.

She could feel the door open before she heard it, her senses were increasingly heightened. It only made her head hurt worse, she wanted it to stop. So much had happened since she was able to talk freely without feeling trapped inside her mind. Rose kept her eyes shut as she felt two bodies enter the room. She wanted them to leave as she felt them move around her slowly, as if they were being hyper-aware of the fact that she could sense them without her eyes being open. She grabbed fistfuls of the blanket that was underneath her, she wanted to defend herself, she was feeling cornered and she couldn’t rationalize why she felt so threatened.

The people that had come and gone in her room had been so kind to her. Giving her space and time to process the things that were dancing heavily in her mind. She had been examined by these people, their touch was so gentle, and their words were filled with such sweet understanding. She knew that these bodies were tense and weren’t at all like the ones that she had come to trust.

Rose opened her eyes slowly, two men standing in front of her cautiously watching her intently. Her heart thudded loudly against her chest as her instincts wanted her to lunge forward. She opened her hands, letting the fabric slip from her fingers. She moved them back and forth, creating the chains that were linked to her wrist rattle and clink together. Her eyes danced across their faces, her brows knitting together as they looked at her with an emotion she couldn’t read. Rose fished through her brain to find anything that matched. Her pupils dilated once she met eyes with the man with dark shoulder length hair and darkened blue eyes.

Her memory from that far back came in flashes, little three second bursts. Looking at him; little glimmers of random images glistened in her head. But it was still splotchy, missing pieces as she couldn’t grasp a continuous memory. She saw a jazz club, luggage sitting by a door, a Ferris wheel, and a faint image of a man wearing a brown suit. The face on the man was blurred, but she felt like the man before her was the face that she couldn’t see.

“Rosie?”

Just like a switch, the sound of his voice overloaded her brain. She heard his voice repeat inside her head, it getting louder and louder as the blemished memories flickered through. Her hands flew to her head, squeezing the sides of her temples to relieve the throbbing pain. Sweat started to bead around her hairline, her pulse racing as she tried to helplessly establish a way for her head to stop. She started to make noise, her teeth barring as the pictures of the things she had done started to play faster and the voices started getting louder. It was becoming excessive, too much at one time. Make it stop, make it stop! She screamed out, her hands flying from her head and in a downward motion. The quick movement caused everything around her but the bed she sat on get thrown against the wall; including the two men. Her eyes widened at her motion, bringing her hands to her face, she stared at them.

Her head tore away from her hands and back at the men groaning from the impact. She could feel energy coursing through her veins and it wasn’t the kind that was normally present. She inhaled sharply as they both got up, her eyes watching their every movement. Turning her head, she blinked quickly. She could sense their movements before they actually moved. The blonde was going to reach the back of his neck while the other was going to press against the back of his right hip. Her chest started to rise and fall as she watched in horror as they performed her vison like clockwork. What is this? She shut her eyes tight, what is going on? The room started to spin and she started to feel sick to her stomach. She remembered the things she could do, the torture and pain she went through to be able to perform the acts she was remembering. But to feel them was something else, she didn’t like it. She didn’t like that she could predict their movements and be able to kill them without giving them a chance.

“Do you know who we are?” The blonde spoke cautiously, his hand raised to show that they weren’t a threat. But it didn’t matter, she still wanted them dead.

She flickered a look between the two, her breath hitched in her throat. “I don’t know.” Her eye twitched, she knew their faces. She knew.

The brunette stepped forward, he looked pained and she wasn’t sure why. “What do you remember?”

She filled the space between the wall and her back; she didn’t want them to come any closer. She was afraid of what her instincts might do if he were to be so close to her. Swallowing hard, “I see a jazz club,” her eyes darted down to the floor as if the memories were playing. Her eyes shifted back and forth like she was reading the images like a book. Rose swallowed hard, leaning her head back, closing her eyes, “A Ferris wheel.”

Bucky bit his lip, “Is that all?” She opened her eyes, staring deep into his blue eyes. A strange feeling creeping into her chest, a feeling that felt foreign but so right. He couldn’t believe that he was gazing into her green eyes again, how surreal it was to hear her speak with slight emotion. Bucky thought he’d never get the chance to see her again, she was the last thing he thought about when he would lay his head down to attempt sleep. Bucky never wanted to bring it up, never wanting to find out if she lived a good life because he didn’t want the thought of another man giving her the world when it was supposed to be him. He had promised her.

“I have so many missing pieces,” she breathed. She looked down at her hands, wincing as a pang of pain coursed through her body as a name popped up in her brain. “Barnes,” she murmured. Bucky stiffened, causing her to look at him, “Is that your name?” Her hand flew to her head as she tried to dig deeper, she had attempted to search through her pile but as she tried, pain seemed to be even more so painful than before.

“You don’t remember me?”

Rose groaned out, her hands squeezing at her temples. “Get out.”

“But-“

“-get out!”

Steve grabbed Bucky by the arm and led him quickly out of the room before he had time to object. Putting his hand up to stop him from arguing, he narrowed his eyes. “Listen to me, Buck. We can’t force her to remember, she needs to do it on her own. You know how it feels, man. Let her deal with this.”

“She was this close, Steve. This close to remembering me”

“I understand that, but you heard what T’Challa said. She’s still unstable and still trying to grasp everything. She’s confused, it’s going to take time. It took you almost three years to recover yourself-“

“-I can’t make three years without her, Steve.” Bucky mumbled, his heart wrenching in its place. Rose was the missing link in his life, he needed her.

“You will and can, buddy.” He placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly, “You saw what she’s capable of, Bucky. If it weren’t for Wanda saving your ass back there, who knows if you still would have been alive. Let the memories of you come on their own, if she’s still struggling and she’s become more stable then we’ll coax them out.” Pressing his lips together, Steve sighed, “I know how much she means to you, Buck. I can see it. It’s killing you but we’ll get through this together.”