Don't Trust Everything You See

I had said yes, and now i was currently sitting with him inside of a jewelers waiting for my new ring to come out. Was i making the right choice by marrying him? In my heart i felt like i was making the right decision but a small little voice was telling me i was a fucking moron. I knew i was making the right choice though, we had been together for a few months before i even decided to say yes. But here we were, waiting for my ring to come out so he could give it to me. God my nerves were beginning to kill me right now.

"Here you are Mr. Haner" Angela said as she brought out the small velvet box. My heart was pounding in my chest erratically. Brian was a dick for even coming to the same place Matt had.
"Thanks" Brian said as he pocketed the small box, i just wish he would give it to me so i could get it over with.

Brian grabbed my hand as we walked out into the busy shops, people were running back and forth trying to get to places, some so they wouldn't be late for work. I was more nervous to run into fans since Brian and I hadn't really announced that we were together yet. This time it wasn't even Brian being scared, it was all me.

"Zack, you look like you're gonna be sick, are you okay?" Brian asked squeezing my hand lightly.
"Yeah i'm fine, i just can't believe we're engaged still" I said quietly, Brian didn't seem convinced.
"Well, our fans are about to find out" What the hell did he mean by that?
"Brian wha-" I was cut off by his lips crashing against mine, his lips moving slowly against my own, waiting for a response.

I gripped his hair and kissed back, i didn't care who saw us or even what they thought of us. This was my dream, i could openly be with my fiance without people judging us. Well i didn't care if they judged us, cause i was with the most gorgeous man alive. Brian was smiling when he pulled away from the kiss, i didn't loosen my grip though, i was afraid he'd try and run off.

"Now i want to be traditional about this" Brian said as he got down onto one knee, pulling the velvet box from his pocket.
"Oh Brian" I said with a smile, tears welling up in my eyes as he grabbed my hand.
"I love you with all of my heart and soul, and i would do anything to make sure you're happy and loved everyday. I know we had really hard times but we worked through them, because i can't see my life without you by my side anymore. so Zachary James Baker, will you marry me?" Brian opened the box revealing the ring. Tears were now spilling down my cheeks like a river.
"Of course i'll marry you, i wouldn't trade you for the world" My words sounded choked off from the tears, Brian's smile was so beautiful as he slid the ring on and stood from his spot on the ground.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, all of my hopes and dreams were now coming true. I was marrying the love of my life and i didn't have to worry about hiding anymore. Life just seemed perfect in this little moment, even with all the hecticness going on around us.

"How about we go home and tell the guys?" Brian asked sliding his hands down to my hips, oh shit that's right.
"Sounds like a plan" I said grabbing his hands as he tried to slide them to my ass, we'd have plenty of time for that later.

Way too much time for it now.

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"Congrats guys, i'm glad you were able to work everything out" Matt said, clapping me on the shoulder as he went to sit back down on the couch.
"Thanks" Brian held my hand tight in his own, everyone was happy, some shocked, that we were engaged.
"So where are you going to get married?" Johnny asked looking at us from the chair, we hadn't really thought about that yet.
"Probably New York, go there, get married, come home" Brian said with a slight shrug. I couldn't help but frown slightly.
"No wedding?" He asked glancing between Brian and I.
"Well if we have time to plan it before we tour next then we can" Brian said wrapping his arm around my waist.
"I'm sure we'd have time, Larry didn't say we had to leave right away" Matt said leaning back on the couch. I hoped we could get married, i sounded like a total idiot.
"What do you wanna do Zack?" Brian asked looking down at me, i hadn't even been paying full attention.
"I wanna get married, and invite our friends and family" I couldn't look at Brian though, afraid i'd made him upset.
"Well, then we'll get married before we leave" Brian said quietly, squeezing my side roughly. I had fucked up horribly.
"Just something small, nothing over the top" I wanted to shrink into myself and hide, he seemed happy earlier but the moment i even said the word wedding he gets angry.
"Sounds fine" Brian ground out releasing my side.

I shook my head and left quickly, going up to the bathroom that was attached to our bedroom. I didn't want to be around him, or any of them right now. I felt like a cry baby, i just thought it'd be nice to have our friends and family there. Sighing softly i sat on the edge of the tub, i'd just tell the guys i didn't feel well if they asked questions. Couldn't be honest when your fiance was getting upset hearing the word wedding. He probably thought we were moving too fast now, or at least he felt like telling the fans was too big for him to handle. They had known i was bi back when we released City Of Evil, so what if i came out as gay during the next album? No one knew about his secret. I respected his choices, but the day he broke my spirit was the day i gave up on him, no matter how much it hurt me to do.
I heard a faint knock at the door, shit whose checking up on me now? I had to clean up my face so it wasn't puffy and red from crying, i looked ridiculous.

"I'll be out in a minute" My voice sounded a little raspy, no more than usual. Especially if i had a cigarette recently.
"Zack, can i come in?" Of fucking course it would be Brian, why did he have to come up when i was trying to figure everything out.
"I'll be out in a minute Brian" I sounded harsher than i intended. Then again i was upset and always turned into a douche when that happened.
"Zack, please" Brian had walked in and shut the door, he never did listen when he knew i was upset.
"Just go away Brian" I wiped at my eyes roughly, a new wave of tears running down my face.
"You don't want to get married, do you?" That caught me off guard, he thought i didn't want to get married at all.
"Yes i do Brian, but i wanted a real wedding, not a fucking courthouse wedding. But obviously you had other intentions" I stood up to leave, only to have Brian block the door.
"I didn't think you'd want to have a wedding okay? You never brought it up before so i didn't want to burden you with it" I ground my teeth and pushed against Brian roughly, i just wanted to get out.
"I didn't bring it up because you seemed so adamant to not get married Brian, i didn't want to piss you off because i wanted to get married" The words hurt coming out, i'd always wanted to get married when i found the one but when Brian was downright angry with the thought of it i gave up on even trying.

He had said when we were teens that he never wanted to settle down, he wanted to be free his whole life. So the day we got together was the day i told myself to never let the thought of marriage or even kids come into my head. Of course when my sister had her son and daughter those thoughts came back with a vengeance, heh, and i wanted to have that life more than ever. I made do with babysitting them when she and her husband wanted to go out on dates, Brian never stuck around though. He was probably going out with Michelle while i was at home with my niece and nephew, having the best time ever.

"Zack" Brian's voice was soft, hurt lacing with his words.
"What?" I asked rudely, tears sliding down my cheeks. All those thoughts were breaking my heart piece by piece.
"I'm sorry, i just honestly thought you didn't want to get married" Brian said wiping away the tears on my cheeks.
"It's all i've wanted since we got together, but you were so adamant about never getting married, i wanted your happiness only" I leaned my head on his chest and sighed, i just wish i had kept my mouth shut about marriage altogether. At least then Brian wouldn't have to deal with me being a whiney fucking baby all the time.

"Do you guys think they're okay?" Matt asked looking around the room. Johnny and Arin both shrugging there shoulders.
"Should we go check on em?" Arin asked looking between Matt and Johnny.
"Well if they don't come back down in a few minutes we should, don't want Brian to throw a fit and act like an asshole" Johnny mumbled, sipping his beer.
"Well i have to get home soon, Krista's making steak and potatoes and i am not missing that for anything" Matt said, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.
"Cause you're a fatass" Johnny laughed as Matt threw a couch pillow at him, hitting him in the head.
"She makes great food, and i've been dealing with your whiney ass all day" Matt said with a groan, thinking about the long day he'd spent with Johnny. Talking about wedding plans with his bassist.
"You asked for help, not my fault you proposed" Matt narrowed his eyes at Johnny, did he really have to act like an asshole when they were on the topic of his engagement.
"Well can't help who ya love" Matt said curtly, Johnny frowning slightly.
"I think they're coming back down, so stop arguing" Arin said softly as Zack and Brian both walked into the room, both too quiet.

"Sorry guys, i wasn't feeling well" I said sitting down on the couch next to Matt, so many lies.
"It's cool but i gotta head home, need to eat" Matt said as he stood up, picking up his keys off the table.
"See ya later dude, try not to knock her up too quickly" Brian said with a laugh, Matt shook his head and walked out, waving as he did. Brian always had to be the biggest perv.

Johnny and Arin both soon left quickly after, leaving Brian and I alone in his house, not that i minded but i knew Brian would be expecting sex. I plopped myself on his bed with a sigh, quickly remembering that he had sex with her on this bed. I suddenly felt put off and disgusted, i'd rather be in my bed. Brian was the only one, besides myself, that had slept with me on it. No wait that's a lie, Krista had slept on my bed a couple times when she had first moved out here. I wasn't going to have her sleep in a hotel room and use the little money she had, i was too nice. Of course she'd moved in to Matt's house a week later but she had slept in my bed for the first few days.

"You doing okay babe?" Brian asked as he laid down behind me.
"Mhmm, just tired" I said softly, granted i was actually exhausted. He had woken me up at six in the morning to have sex, i didn't mind one bit but i was regretting it now.
"How about we go to bed and worry about setting up our wedding tomorrow" I couldn't help but smile, at least he was excited for the wedding.
"Sounds good to me" My brain was slowly starting to give out, i'd be asleep in less than five minutes.
"I love you" Brian whispered, kissing my cheek as he pulled my back against his chest.
I curled my body to fit against his perfectly, i wouldn't wish to be anywhere else in this moment. Even through all the hell we had one through i couldn't see myself with anyone else. I was going to marry this man.