Perfectly Imperfect

My father was strict when I was at the firm. I had to be where he last left me whenever he checked up on my progress and he was always sure to visit me every hour or so. His reason was to make sure I was managing but I found myself wondering whether there was more to it. Since returning home, my father had been more cautious about what I did than my mother was, something which had previously been the other way around. It was strange but I didn't comment on it.

I had to leave with my father today instead of earlier so once I had completed all the work I'd been set, I made my way up to his office and took a seat on the chair in front of the desk to wait. My hand rested on my phone but I refused to draw it out my pocket. Rules were only business phonecalls and emergencies are a reason to use a personal phone, and I had neither. So I sat in silence for forty three minutes.

We didn't speak as he gathered his work into his folder and we exited the building. He broke the silence once we were in the car. "How is being home treating you, Spencer?" he asked, looking at me briefly before focusing back on the road.

"I'm happy to be home," I replied.

"Not too much on your plate too soon?"

"It's fine, Father. Being occupied is productive."

He shot me another look. "Be as that may, I'm just concerned that you are easing back into too much too quickly. That wasn't recommended."

"I understand." Nothing more was said for the remainder of the journey. When we got home he went went to his office and I headed to my bedroom to clean up before dinner. My mother was strict about being clean at the dinner table, but she always had been. Cleanliness had always been a big thing in the family.

I traded my shoes for my indoor slippers, placed my phone on my bedside cabinet and washed my hands in the bathroom before I headed downstairs when the clock indicated it was dinner time.

We were sat in silence throughout eating and just as I thought it was going to pass by without a word, my mother placed her cutlery together and dabbed her mouth with her napkin. "My mother is due to visit us shortly," she announced, making me cautiously gather food onto my fork and place it in my mouth so that I couldn't speak.

"Did you consult me?" my father reprimanded, his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.

My mother bristled. "There was no need."

"I do like to be aware when deplorable people are going to be entering my home so that I can safely vacate the premises."

"Good thing she is not visiting to see you, my dear," she replied sardonically before fixing her gaze on me. "She hasn't seen you since before you left, Spencer. Surely you will be pleased to see her?"

Before I could reply my father spoke again. "Do you really think that is such a good idea?"

Her gaze left me and I had to hide my hand in my lap. "We are not supposed to isolate him."

"Nor are we supposed to take him around purposely triggering influences! Your mother is undoubtedly one of the worst people to take him around - he's not even been back for long, for Christ's sake!"

I hadn't seen any of my extended family since before I left to study and the prospect of seeing them made me feel sick. While with Frost, I had been unable to keep my composure but was able to conceal it to a degree because of where we were; however, with my family that wouldn't be at all possible. They would be in the house, and I would see them far often than I did Frost. I wouldn't be able to falter in my confidence or story like I had before, and it concerned me that I would slip up again. The more my going away to study was brought up, the more I felt that I had less control over my emotions. And that definitely was not good.

"Good thing you will not be in the home then, isn't it?" my mother retorted before placing her hand on my arm, making me draw my attention back to her. "She's very much looking forward to seeing you again. When you had first left, she was dreadfully upset that she hadn't been aware you were going off to study, and was far from pleased about not being given the address of where you were at. Of course, that wasn't our choice and we just relayed what we had been told, though I do wish we had been allowed to visit."

I gave her a tight-lipped smile and picked up my glass of water. "I understand, Mother."

"Aren't you just too lovely," she gushed, gently patting my cheek fondly. "You know she will ask many questions and I will try to divert most of them, but will that be okay?"

"Of course."

My father tutted with disapproval as my mother dropped her hand from my face. "I hope you realise how detrimental this could be too early," he warned, placing his cutlery together, dropping his napkin on his plate and leaving the table.

We both left the table shortly after and I retreated to my room, eager to lock myself away. There I found myself sitting at my desk and opening the journal I kept in the top drawer. "I studied business and it was difficult, yet fulfilling. This was to be able to work at my father's firm and takeover when required, as has always been expected of me," I murmured, reaffirming my story. "It was very secluded, to allow us to achieve our potential, and I wrote to my parents instead of phoning. It wasn't a university or a college but rather an institution, which meant that we spent less time there but were required to stay during the usual holidays. Attending the institution enabled me to utilise the life skills I had once dismissed and now I am able to be the person I was always supposed to be."

It wasn't difficult to recall so I couldn't wrap my head around why I had slipped up around Frost. I was grateful that it had only been around him and not someone at my father's firm, but I was supposed to be able to be confident around everyone and anyone. Neither my mother or father knew that I'd had trouble talking to him about it and I wanted it to stay that way. I wasn't supposed to be making slip ups, not this close to returning home.

My phone vibrated on the bedside cabinet and I abandoned my journal to check who it was. Frost's name appeared on my screen. He had messaged me out of the blue yesterday. I had been expecting him to refuse to see me again or ask for some help but instead had opened a mundane message, one that had been an opening to a conversation. I had messaged him back knowing that if we became friendly towards one another, he would be more inclined to listen to me. Now we were messaging every few hours and not once did I bring up what I had been tasked. That was best when we were together.

Frost: Please tell me you're at the social event next week.

I frowned and glanced at the calendar that hung above my desk. There was nothing written in the upcoming week so I assumed it would be to do exclusively with something either of his parents were associated with.

Spencer: My next event is in three weeks. A charity my mother is an ambassador for. Think it's a dinner as well.

Frost: Well there goes my shred of hope.

I smiled and shook my head, placing my phone back on the cabinet. Now I had something to prepare him for, an event to show his mother that he can be all that is expected of him. All I had to do was make sure he listened.