How Will You Fix Me Now?

(>.<) Three Days after he writes that entry (>.<)

"Josh! Hey man!" Matt yelled as soon as I walked out the doors of the facility.
"Hey." I barely whispered, as I carry my small bag of belongings, such as clothes, my journal, which I was pretty sure I'd burn as soon as I got home, my folder with most of my medical history and advancements since I'd been in the program, and a personal folder filled with a lot of stupid song ideas that would probably never leave the folder.
"You're so unusually quiet... What did they do, cut out your tongue?" Matt laughs and lets me settle in the front seat of his car.
"So... You seen Kailie?" I almost demand. Matt had a huge crush on her just before we started going steady but they were still friends.
"Um. Yeah dude. She asked where you were and I had to lie and tell her I didn't know where you were. At least I was honest about the fact I didn't know when you were coming back." He rants on for a bit. After a while I tune him out and focus on the radio.
"I said: 'Do you want to go see Kailie!?' Like 25 times man. Snap out of it!" I look at him with a sheepish grin
"I fell asleep." Not usually exciting but to an insomniac it is.
"Ok well, it's like 9:45, and I have a little one babysit starting in twenty." He rambles on about how I need to make a choice so I did.
"Take me home." And so started the trek to discovering whether Kailie would forgive me and take me back, or kick me in the family jewels and tell me to go to hell.
We arrive at the building and I make my way up to the apartment where I spent most of my time and I thank Matt for driving me there.

(Kailies POV)
I’m awake in this dreamland, almost more awake in here than in reality. Vivid images of the fights, the makeups, and of course… Those final five words which now scar me more than anything. The words that make me wonder what I did to deserve them. I wake up screaming for the fifth time that week. I almost feel like I could feel Josh’s arms wrap around me, whispering in my ear, telling me everything’s ok, that I was safe and sound when I was with him. I feel so scared, drenched in a cold sweat, knowing that at the end, there was nothing I could have done to stop him from walking out that door. Going who knows where in the middle of the night and coming back who knows when.
“Kailie. Are you ok Kai?” I hear Josh ask me. I push that away. It’s not possible since he left…
“Kailie please answer me!” He yells. I groan and look over to the door and there stood a very tired and sickly looking Josh.
“J-Josh….” I struggle to get up, tangled in my sheets. I hug him, wanting to make sure that he was real, that all this wasn’t a vivid hallucination.
“Easy Kais!” I loosen my grip, but held on and he wrapped his arms gently around me
“I’m so sorry Kailie, I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to leave you.” He whispers in my ear.
“Josh…” I whimper, not sure that I can say much more without crying.
"Kai... What got you so scared?" Josh sighs into the back of my neck, still holding me in his arms.
"Us... I keep dreaming of that night Josh... Why'd you leave?" I stutter out
"I... I went to rehab..." He explains, tensing up when I pull away.
"You..." A tear escapes me, rolling down my cheek. I realize that ultimately, the fights were a cry for help I couldn't hear and that in the end I had failed him.
"I uh... I can go if it'd be easier for you... I mean I want to stay, but I don’t want you to feel obligated to keep me here.”
I grab him and wrap him in a hug.
“Josh, you can stay…. Just don’t keep these kinds of things from me next time ok? I worry about you…” I trust Josh deeply, no matter how much it hurt to watch him leave and not know the next time he’d return.