Closer

New York was strangely quiet early Sunday morning. The heavy rain that had been falling from the large grey clouds over head must have been deterring half of the city from going outdoors. As a result, there was barely any traffic, and an almost uncomfortable serenity about the city. Once you grew used to the hustle, the constant mob of people, and the smell of pollution and a breeze from the river, anything slightly different from the normal brought an uneasy tension.

For many, the rain and cool fall temperature forced them to keep the windows closed, but there were a few that decided to embrace the first cool rainfall. The hot droplets of water created a bizarre, thick, white, fog that rolled through the streets. The smell of the fresh rain filled the air like an ever burning candle, and the soft sounds of occasional tires rolling down the wet asphalt streets was more relaxing than the softest blanket in the world.

At least to Emerson.

“But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do, no one’s gonna love you more than I do” The blonde sang as she grabbed the remote to her blue tooth speakers and raised the volume until it was just loud enough to block out her voice. As the song continue to play, she pulled her short silver hair into a messy ponytail and rolled up the sleeves of her sweater.

Humming the rest of the song to herself, she walked up to the kitchen sink and turned the water on full blast. As the stream of water started to beat against the dishes and pots in the sink, she swayed her body back and forth to the easy beat of the song that was now playing from her speakers.

Singing a few more verses to another ‘Band of Horses’ song, the woman scrubbed away at the dishes, trying to hit some of the notes as she laughed at herself and piled the plates up on the towel set up on the other side of the sink. One by one, Emerson watched as the water started to collect in a puddle on the tiled floor.

When the dishes were finally finished, she shut the water off, grabbed a towel, and then quickly grabbed a plate and started to wander through her apartment. Singing softly along with the songs playing, she let her wide eyes run over everything around her, until the plate was dry.

Grabbing another one, she made her way back into the living room when a different beat started to mix in with the hum of her music. For a few minutes, as she wondered who was standing behind her door early on a dreary Sunday morning, she contemplated turning the music up and ignoring whoever was there.

But then, she realized what today actually was.

Gasping, the woman quickly jogged back into the kitchen and set the plate down in the cabinet with the others. Tossing the rag over to the sink, she readjusted her pony tail and ran back over to the front door. Just as another knock sounded, Emerson pulled the door open and watched as two, tall, brunette men appeared in front of her.

“Ryan!”


“Emerson, you have grey hair!” He started to laugh as the woman rolled her eyes and then wrapped her arms around the man for a minute as they kissed the others cheek and separated. “You totally forgot, huh?”

Nodding, the silver haired girl ran a tired hand down her face and then rubbed her shoulder. “I ended up working fourteen hours yesterday and totally forgot that today was Sunday and not Saturday. Luckily I had a few spare hours on Friday and fixed everything up.” The woman turned from the first man and locked eyes with the second. “Derick, I presume?”


The man simply nodded, his eyes dull and filled to the brim with tension and tiredness. Just by the way he let his hand slip from her hand, she could tell that he had barely slept in the last few days, and her obnoxiously loud music probably wasn’t helping his fatigued state.

Inviting the two men in, she waved her hand at them to get comfortable and then bolted into the kitchen and shut her speakers off, allowing the soft hum of the rain pounding against her open windows fill the apartment. When she made her way back into the living room, she smiled when she saw the two brunettes sitting on the couch, the one leaned forward going through some papers on the table while the other sunk into the kitchen, his eyes softly shut as he held his face up.

“How’d the pre-season go?”


“Great, we’re all pretty excited to get back in the flow of the regular season, ya’ know?”


“Yeah, I miss having something to watch when I get out of work.” Emerson shared a chuckle with Ryan as she found herself focusing in on the other man, whom she had met a few times before, but never actually introduced herself. She would usually only show her face when Ryan took her to special events, and as soon as the other guys saw Ryan’s hand on her hip, they all dropped away.

It was a bizarre relationship the two shared. Friends would put it too lightly, and a couple would be too serious. They would go on nice dates and spend nights at the others apartments, but nothing substantial had ever come from it. Ryan wanted a wife and a family while Emerson wanted a higher position at her job and a cat or two. Children were a big no in her book, and the thought of marriage made her nauseous.

Clearing his throat, Ryan grabbed her attention and then sent her a curious smile. “Brass here only needs a place for a week or two.” Derick’s eyes snapped open at the mention of his nickname. Looking from Ryan to Emerson, he sent them a quick smile and then ran a hand through his messy hair.

“I have a realtor making some appointments and stuff to see apartments around here.”


“That’s awesome, it’s a really nice part of the city.” She added, watching intently as the brunette looked up at her, smiled, and then looked back down at his sneakers. “If you ever have questions, I know this section like the back of my hand.”


“Thank you.” He said softly and then pressed his back into the cushions, letting his eyelids lower until his eyes were nothing more than little slits accenting the smooth skin on his face.

Just as Emerson was about to start rambling on about something, Ryan stood up and motioned the woman into the next room. As the silver-haired woman stood up, Ryan hung his arm around her shoulders and walked her into the kitchen, a decent distance from the other man. Once they were resting against the counter where she had just been doing dishes, Ryan lowered his eyes and sent her a sly smile.

With a hushed voice, Ryan tilted his head toward the other room. “Derick doesn’t really know about us.” The sentence didn’t really surprise Emerson, but for some strange reason, she suddenly felt guilty about the whole situation between them. “None of the guys really know exactly what’s going on between us, but I don’t really… want them to find out.”


Nodding, Emerson went to speak when Ryan snuck a quick kiss from her. Lips tingling, she went to speak when he started again.


“I like them thinking they don’t have a chance.”


“Well, I mean,” Emerson swallowed hard as she thought about the other guys on the team that were always too intimidated or awkward to speak to her with Ryan around. “I don’t think I could really be with any of them in a legitimate way. It would be like dating one of your best friends, I feel-“


“Please don’t skip out on a decent thing because of what we have… had… you know.” Ryan bit down on his bottom lip as he looked at her, his eyes darkening as he tilted his head to the side and rubbed the back of his left arm. “You know this isn’t…”


“I know, it just feels weird to think about it now, but-“


“Hey guys, where the hell did you go?” Derick’s voice broke through the tension in the kitchen, causing Emerson to let out a deep sigh and quickly turn from Ryan and head into the living room, her nerves shaking under her skin as she thought about thinking about her current relationship; or lack there of.

Smiling at the brunette, she offered to take him on a small tour and then show him his bedroom upstairs. As Derick nodded his head and sent her a smile, Ryan walked into the room and quickly announced that he would grab the suitcases from the car. Before either of them could respond, he dashed out of the front door and softly shut it behind him.

Ignoring the awkward glances Derick was stealing from the her and the door, Emerson started rambling on about the apartment, where it was and how it was big enough for both of them to not run into each other all of the time. The woman brought him into the kitchen, told him where most of the important things were, and then walked him over to the balcony. Letting him inspect the view, Emerson stayed back in the kitchen and tried to steady her mind.

Thoughts of her and Ryan ran ramped as she tried to give Derick all of her attention. For a few seconds she could answer his questions and give him the quick run down of whatever room they were in, but whenever Derick would check out the room, the thoughts would come back.

When the two had finished the first floor, she brought him over to the stairs and told him that there were three bedrooms and another bathroom on this floor. Walking up, she listened as the front door opened and shut below them. Sucking in her breath, she showed him her room quickly and the bathroom. After that, she showed him the den where a computer, couch, and bookshelf was set up, and then she showed him the extra room where he would be staying for the next few weeks.

Originally when Ryan had mentioned his good fiends living predicament, he was planning on having him live in his tiny apartment, but the second Emerson offered up the extra room, the tension between her and Ryan had thickened. He was the one that agreed and went through with the idea, while he was also the one making whatever they shared so much more… difficult.

“You can crash if you want, I think Ryan was going to bail soon.” Emerson whispered, her eyes blinking a few more times than normal as a soft pulse started in the back of her head. “I can bring up some of your bags.”


“Thank you for this.”


“It’s no big deal.”


“I owe you, huge.”


“You can buy dinner one day,” Emerson joked, causing them both to share a short laugh and a stare. As the silence filled the air around them, the girl dropped her eyes to the ground and pressed her toes into the hardwood. “Well, I’ll let you get some rest. I’ll be down stairs if you need me.”


Without another word, Emerson turned on her heels and quickly made her way back down to the kitchen where Ryan was leaning against the counter, a water bottle in one hand and a cinnamon english muffin in the other. When he noticed Emerson walk in, he sent her a small nod and then finished chewing the food in his mouth. 



“I was going to head out.” His words were short and emotionless.


“Are you going to keep acting like this while he’s here?” Anger started to surge through her veins, making every inch of her body warm with the strong yearning to press her knuckles right between the brunettes eyes.

“I just… Don’t want-“


“I know,” Emerson was furious now as she tore her eyes from Ryan’s and attempted to steady her breathing. “God forbid the guys find out we had sex a few times, what a sin.”


“It’s not that, Emerson, I just-“


“I think we should rethink this.” Her thin fingers started to shake.

“I don’t want to do this right now, Emmy.” Ryan could feel his heart tearing in half as he thought about never being able to hold the woman in front of him again, skin to skin, and feel her chest rise and fall against his. There was no doubt in his mind that he was in love with Emerson, but he knew what they wanted in the future was drastically different, and neither wanted to compromise.


“One, we aren’t doing this, at all.” Ryan’s eyes widened as he watched the shorter woman in front of him transform from the loving woman he had fallen in love with to the cold-hearted businesswoman that she displayed in front of almost every single other person in the city. “Two, I think you should leave; now.”


Grinding his teeth together, Ryan went to speak when he watched the sharp glint in her eyes shimmer under the track lighting in the kitchen. Letting out a deep sigh, he went to pull her into a hug when she lifted her hand up, pressing it against his chest while she sharpened her jawline.


“Goodbye, Ryan.”

Rolling his eyes, Ryan turned quickly from the woman and walked through the apartment and right out of the front door. Slamming it behind him, he laced his fingers together so he could suppress the strong urge to throw his hand into the drywall on either side of him. He had never been a violent person, fighting was something he only did in the game, and rarely at that, but the cold shoulder from Emerson always drove him absolutely mad.

As he headed down the hallway and into the elevator, all he could hear was her sharp words over and over in his mind. ’I think we should rethink this’

It made him sick.

As he stood there, watching the number drop down from fifteen to one, he realized that if not having any children meant he got to wake up to those beautiful blue eyes every morning; than it was worth it.

Losing Emerson Rivers wasn’t an option.



“You seem pretty upset.” A deep male voice shattered the silence in the living room, causing Emerson to gasp and toss the book she was reading into the empty seat next to her. Heart racing in her chest, she looked over at the doorway and watched as Derick walked into the room, his eyes much wider and skin a more lively tone than it had been earlier that morning.

Taking the seat next to her, he leaned back into the soft cushions on the couch and then grabbed the book she had tossed from the scare. Examining the cover, Derick tilted his head to the side as he read the title “One, Q, Eight, Four. Interesting.”


“It’s a good book.”


“I can’t read English that well yet, so I’ll have to pass.”


“Foreigners.” Emerson joked and watched as the brunette looked at her for a moment before a smile stretched across his scruffy face, showing his straight white teeth and the small gap that lived between his two front teeth. As she examined the bright color in his eyes and the red tint on his cheeks, she couldn’t help but to smile just as wide back at him.

“You and Ryan, alright?”


Emerson shrugged, “Guess so.”

“Are you guys…”


“No.”


“You should tell him that, eh?”

Emerson was silent for a long while after that. The pulse that had started in her head when Ryan had left only worsened, and was now at full force as she let Derick’s words sink into her skull. If this was how things were going to start off the next three or so weeks with him living here, it was going to be one hell of a visit.

As a sigh passed her lips, she pushed herself off of the couch and headed into the kitchen, her shaky hand pressed against hr forehead as she rummaged through the cabinets, the light entering her eyes making everything blurry and hard to focus on as the pulsing only got worse. Just as she thought she had found the bottle of Advil, a large hand blocker her vision and she found herself spun around, with the lights out, staring at the tall brunette from the couch. “Carl used to get migraines all of the time.” He twisted the cap from the Advil bottle off and poured three little capsules into his hand. “Take three, drink a full bottle of water, and sleep for around an hour or two. If that doesn't work, some fresh air will help; good thing its such a grey day.”


Blinking a few times, Emerson pulled the pills from the mans hand and then looked at him, her eyes focusing in on his as he twisted the cap from the water off and then handed it to her. Taking the water bottle, she washed down the pills and then kept chugging the water, tilting her head back so her eyes could focus on the ceiling. As she ran her eyes across the plain white paneling, she thought back to all of the times when she had fallen ill to a migraine while Ryan was over.

Emerson could count on two hands the amount of times Ryan had told her to get some rest and take Advil, and then leave her. There were at least eight times where Emerson ended up laying in her bed alone after spending the day with Ryan. He left her alone, to deal with the horrible pulsing in her brain. She couldn’t help him out, so he just left her.

That’s not what friends do, no matter what kind of friend they were.

Once the water bottle was empty, Emerson slowly pulled her head back to a normal angle and bit down on her bottom lip, feeling the rage and anger for Ryan flood her veins.

He wasn’t worth it.

She deserved better, and she was going to find it.

Soon.