Counting Stars

“Did you know this is my favorite place in school?” I said as I slowly, but steadily got onto the netting.

“Really?” Alex asked whilst pondering over what was so special about this specific place.

“Mhm,” He finally got the clue from my patting on then net, that I was motioning him to come on as well.

The net was sturdy after all those years of being stepped on by, what I could imagine, billions and billions of little screaming kids. The net was part of a course that children would play on. It was basically the playground, and it was my favorite place to be out of all campus. It always had the front row seats of the stars, no matter what weather. Best of all it was always warm and dry. As the school was on a cliff it was also very important that that place was protected from the wind, and that it was.

It was the first time that Alex had ever seen my school, and he was surprisingly amazed by it. Especially for a guy who always tried to keep his cool.

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We walked up the lone road with our fingers laced together. The light breeze swept my hair up slightly and I felt so alive at that moment. I closed my eyes never wanting this walk up to school to ever end. I was displaced from my reverie when Alex stopped abruptly. I opened one eye steadily to catch sight of what he was looking at; it was the majestic grey-looking school on the hill.

The school covered what seemed to be miles of land. The grass on the ground seemed to be the very epitome of beauty as there vibrant color was swaying side to side. Almost like a slightly tipsy drunkard on the streets.

By the time we finished walking we were already up in front of the main block. Alex stopped once again to take it all in. His eyes widened when he caught sight of the ancient clock (which seemed to tell the time pretty well) that was above us, lightly shaking his head when he realized that I saw staring at him.

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After a couple of grunts and “Umph” of him struggling to maneuver over the net and get somewhere comfortable, he ended up close enough next to me that our hands were touching each other unconsciously. Sensing his radiance his presence and his warmth made my heart beat, even faster than when I was running. In many ways my chest felt like it was going to explode, but I seemed to cover it up quite well as he didn’t notice.

It’s funny how it seems that people who you love seem to have this physical grip over you. They make you heart beat that much faster when they smile at you. They make the hairs at the back of your neck stand up, when they’re that much closer to you. They make you smile like mad man the second they finish brushing their lips against yours and your noses are so close together that they brush up against each other. I was never the type to like involuntary reactions due to the opposite sex; and I still wasn’t. I didn’t like the fact that I didn’t get to control who I was. The really sad thing about this was that I don’t think he realized that he had that power over me. He was completely oblivious in that retrospective.

“I can see why you like this place.” Alex whispered carefully trying to knock me out of my thoughts of him. I stole away my blank gaze from the stars above us to look at him, who was still looking at the stars.

Damn! Why was it him that did this to me! He wasn’t even that special. He had the whole brown hair, although dyed slightly blonde and brown eyes. There was nothing special about those two rounded pools that represented the autumn leaves that were still falling this season; and his hair? His hair looked like he had just gotten out of bed.

He was cocky and obnoxious when around others. He took advantage of people he didn’t like, especially girls. He screamed and shouted obscenities to random people he didn’t know. On paper, he was everything I shunned, but when it came to reality he was everything I had always wanted. I guess it was because of his multi-personality, whilst he was with me, the only thing he seemed to care about, was me.

I’m probably kidding myself though. Maybe this is the way he pounces on girls, you know, pretend that they’re his world, and then bang them. Later, he leaves them in the hotel room, not even being courteous enough to pay for the hotel room.

“ … Yeah” I said softly.

I knew one thing that all those others girl didn’t know. I knew him. I knew that he was like that. I knew what he did to the girls; because he told. I knew what he said to people on the streets; because I was there trying to make him stop when we were with his friends. Most of all I knew why he did those things. It’s stupid right? If a guy is a stuck-up narcotic moron, he will always be right? Well, I saw passed that layer.

He took my hand and placed it neatly between us. Giving it a light squeeze I turned around to look at those eyes, automatically smiling at him. His lips gave a tug as well. I soon found we were inching towards each other so that my body was against his. His hand that was once holding mine was tucked under my neck as a support and holding my hand on the other side. My head was on his chest, whilst both of our right hands were lazed about to the side of us.

I looked up at him and he was smiling down at me. That was all I needed, that single reassuring smile that proved I wasn’t just a girl, but a girl he cared for. Doubts never strayed far from my mind though, so I came up to a conclusion: even though I might be another notch on his bed post, I’m doing it for the memories. I’m doing it so I can look back at this moment and see if the boy with the same brown eyes of autumn is actually staring back at mine 20 years later. I’m doing it so I won’t say “What if…?” later in my life.