Status: Complete
Torn Between Lust and Love
Chapter 2: Mandy
Everything happened so fast. One minute I was with Benedict, the man that I’d fallen in love with faster than I would’ve ever anticipated. He makes me feel alive, it’s like I was living as a dead person before I’d met him and now after 21 and a half years, I’ve finally awoken. Everything was perfect. The night I told him that I was in love with him was the best night of my life and when he said that he returns my affection, well that made it all worth it.
These past few months have been a whirlwind and I’ve loved every second of it. That is, until now. I’ve been thinking about my future a lot lately and I want Benedict to come back with me to the states. Wayne doesn’t make me feel the way that he does and I don’t think he ever will. I’m willing to let Wayne go, to be able to continue feeling alive. I’m aware that if I let him go, I’m just a cheap slut that abuses men to get what she wants if she even knows what that is.
I’ve known the truth about Benedict’s old girlfriend and what really happened to her for a while now. It hurt my heart and soul deeply that his girlfriend was the reason that my parents had died, but that wasn’t his fault. She’d come to the States at her own free will for business and I guess she just wasn’t used to driving on the opposite side of the road and the rain might’ve confused her even more. Mom and I were going to buy paint for dad’s office, he hated the idea of us wanting to paint it green and tried talking us out of it but mom wasn’t letting up and neither was I after all green was such a beautiful color. I looked in front of me and I saw those two headlights heading straight for us, I swerved out of the way and so did the other car. We went off the side of the freeway and I felt the car roll, every single bump. I felt so hopeless knowing that there was nothing that I could do to stop any of it. Next thing I knew, I was lying in the hospital with all these machines hooked up to me. All I heard was beep… Beep… Beep. When I was strong enough, the nurses asked me to identify the bodies of my parents. Standing there in the coroner’s office, I felt so helpless, so alone. Their bodies looked nothing like them. It all felt like a horrible dream that I just couldn’t wake up from. I was now completely alone.
This accident was no different to the previous. I was upset, I’d told Benedict the truth that I’d known all along that his girlfriend was the reason my parents were dead, well he didn’t know that my parents died as a result of it, but that he didn’t need to know right now. I ran out of his apartment building crying. It was raining and the wind was blowing, making my clothes and hair stick to my body. The tears, the rain and my hair obstructed my vision. I saw the traffic light was red for the side of the road that I wanted to cross. I hurried to cross the road, but something stopped me. I heard a car’s horn, I turned to see where it was coming from, but it was too late to move. All I could do was stand there and watch those two yellow beams come towards me until finally BOOM it hit me and everything went black.
These past few months have been a whirlwind and I’ve loved every second of it. That is, until now. I’ve been thinking about my future a lot lately and I want Benedict to come back with me to the states. Wayne doesn’t make me feel the way that he does and I don’t think he ever will. I’m willing to let Wayne go, to be able to continue feeling alive. I’m aware that if I let him go, I’m just a cheap slut that abuses men to get what she wants if she even knows what that is.
I’ve known the truth about Benedict’s old girlfriend and what really happened to her for a while now. It hurt my heart and soul deeply that his girlfriend was the reason that my parents had died, but that wasn’t his fault. She’d come to the States at her own free will for business and I guess she just wasn’t used to driving on the opposite side of the road and the rain might’ve confused her even more. Mom and I were going to buy paint for dad’s office, he hated the idea of us wanting to paint it green and tried talking us out of it but mom wasn’t letting up and neither was I after all green was such a beautiful color. I looked in front of me and I saw those two headlights heading straight for us, I swerved out of the way and so did the other car. We went off the side of the freeway and I felt the car roll, every single bump. I felt so hopeless knowing that there was nothing that I could do to stop any of it. Next thing I knew, I was lying in the hospital with all these machines hooked up to me. All I heard was beep… Beep… Beep. When I was strong enough, the nurses asked me to identify the bodies of my parents. Standing there in the coroner’s office, I felt so helpless, so alone. Their bodies looked nothing like them. It all felt like a horrible dream that I just couldn’t wake up from. I was now completely alone.
This accident was no different to the previous. I was upset, I’d told Benedict the truth that I’d known all along that his girlfriend was the reason my parents were dead, well he didn’t know that my parents died as a result of it, but that he didn’t need to know right now. I ran out of his apartment building crying. It was raining and the wind was blowing, making my clothes and hair stick to my body. The tears, the rain and my hair obstructed my vision. I saw the traffic light was red for the side of the road that I wanted to cross. I hurried to cross the road, but something stopped me. I heard a car’s horn, I turned to see where it was coming from, but it was too late to move. All I could do was stand there and watch those two yellow beams come towards me until finally BOOM it hit me and everything went black.