No Idea

Jack couldn't quite recall when he first fell for Alex, but he did. And it was one of the best and one of the worst things he'd ever done.

For instance, it was the best when he heard Alex's laugh, the joy he felt when he'd make Alex smile, the accomplishment when Alex sang amazingly at a show, the pride when he could say he was Alex's first friend in the US, the comfort when he'd watch a movie with him, the safety when they'd cuddled in an interview, the butterflies when they fell asleep together late at night, the warmth when Alex kissed his cheek during a show. Jack was crazy for Alex.

But there were also times when he wished he didn't care for the boy so much. Like the sting of rejection when Alex took home another girl, the flash of hurt when he hugged her, the singe of insecurity when he would never get to call Alex his, the wave of pity when Alex sang about his brother, the prick of disappointment when Alex talked down on himself, the stab of sadness when Alex cried in his arms, the anger when someone insulted him because he knew that Alex took every comment to heart. Jack was crazy for Alex.

But whether it was good or bad, Jack just couldn't help it. In his eyes, Alex was perfect and Jack loved every inch of him.

But Alex had absolutely no idea that Jack even cared.

So that's how Jack found himself in the tour bus, wasting away a Friday night. Alex was sick; it wasn't like Jack was going to leave him alone. The elder had a horrible case of food poisoning.

And it was an undercooked burger that had the boy kneeling on the bathroom floor, doubling over to clutch his stomach in pure misery. Jack was behind him, rubbing his back and whispering soothingly in his ear.

Alex had always had a fear of throwing up. The diseased food remained in his system, shooting spears of sharp pain in his stomach. Jack stayed beside his best friend throughout the whole ordeal as he wailed and hissed in agony. The taller boy just wanted Alex to the food up and out, but Alex was having none of that. He just physically couldn't.

"Come on, Alex. Take something, amything?" Jack pleaded with the brunette but received no response. The only noise in the room that followed was Alex's strangled breaths and groans. Jack shook his head with frustration and went to leave with one last pat on his sick friend's back. But Alex turned around and looked at Jack with a silent plead in his eyes.

"Don't leave," he begged in a soft voice with wide eyes and a strained expression. It was a pitiful sight, knowing Alex was in such pain and discomfort. So Jack gave in, sitting back down next to the shorter teen.

"Jay, oh my-" he gasped, choking through the agony. The cramps seemed to invade his entire body, crawling into his chest and burning his throat. Alex leaned back into Jack's touch as another wave of searing pain crashed, sending Alex to whimper pathetically and bite his lip to restrain from screaming.

Jack seemed to realize that Alex felt like a thousand nails were driving into his body, so he put an arm around him and massaged his tense shoulders. Yet, Alex still couldn't relax. He was curled in on himself, arms wrapping securely around himself, facial expression squeezed in cringing pain and eyes screwed shut.

"Just shoot me already!" The sick teen groaned, leaning into Jack's shoulder and nuzzling his face there in the crook of his neck. He couldn't believe a stupid cheeseburger had done this to him. He should've asked for 'well done.'

"Lex, please let me give you Pepto-Bismol or something? You can't just stay like this," Jack inquired hopefully. He wasn't sure why Alex was so against the idea, he just knew the boy probably wouldn't budge.

He just wished Alex would let him take care of him. The teenager looked sickeningly pale and miserable. And his best friend hated seeing him looking so weak and vulnerable and just plain agonized. This was one of the times that it sucked to love the boy like he did, because Jack felt every ounce of pain the shorter felt. And, boy, did it hurt.

"I don't wanna," Alex whined at the dark-haired teen's question. He looked too thin and almost cadaverous, eyes shut tight as arrows seemed to shoot in his abdomen.

"Why not?"

Then Alex sighed, resigning to that fact that'd he'd have to tell Jack eventually.

"When my brother... when Tom first started to drink, he'd come home late at night and I'd wake up and hear him taking loads of that medicine. A-And I hated that he'd thrown his life away, and- I j-just..." Alex trailed off, closing his eyes so he'd miss Jack's reaction.

Jack's immediate response was expected by most people to be something like 'I'm sorry.' But that wasn't it. Jack hooked his forefinger under Alex's jaw and forced him to connect their gazes.

"You're not him, Alex. You're one of the greatest people I've ever met, and the smartest. You're intelligent enough to know that a dose of Pepto isn't deeming you an alcoholic. You know I loved Tom, but he made some pretty big mistakes. You have to learn from that, Alex. I'm right beside you. Tom didn't have the support that you do and you need to understand that I'm here. Always, you know that," Jack promised, speaking slowly and with meaning, looking the singer in the eyes.

He took a deep breath and nodded. Jack smiled and went to grab the medicine.

He loved when Alex tried for him.
_________

"You're okay, I swear. Breathe, Lex," Jack promised as the brunette shakily took the cup of pink liquid and swallowed it down, choking halfway through. Alex coughed and sputtered at the unpleasant taste, but refused to spit it out. He wanted to prove to Jack that he was strong.

"I'm okay," Alex repeated in a murmur, determined to calm down.

When he did, Jack pressed a small kiss to the top of his head, tousling a few of the caramel strands of hair. The younger boy walked out, sending a comforting smile Alex's way as he left.
_______

"It's over, Lex," Jack soothed, holding the shaking lyricist to his chest. Said boy shook his head and just nuzzled his nose deeper into Jack's neck.

It had taken less than ten minutes for the medicine to set in and Alex was retching into the toilet, terrified. Jack stood behind the door, in case Alex needed anything.

Alex had been trembling as soon as he swallowed the medicine and hadn't stopped since. Jack started to regret leaving the cramped bathroom with the elder, knowing he'd be panicky.

But when the door opened and Alex stumbled out, white as a ghost and toothbrush hanging haphazardly out of his mouth, Jack was proud. He had gotten over the fear and he hadn't had an anxiety attack. Well, as far as Jack knew.

"I don't feel any better," Alex croaked, wincing as he stepped towards the couch Jack was lounging on. It was sort of a lie. Alex wasn't anywhere near okay, but the pain had begun to subside ever so slightly. And Jack knew that, but played along with the dramatic teen.

"Yeah? Oh, then I guess there's nothing else I can do, I'll just go-" Jack started, getting up and snatching his jacket. Alex whined, grabbing his hand and pulling him back. Alex knew his best friend wouldn't leave, but it still hurt that he would try to. It almost hurt as much as the pain in his stomach. Almost.

Alex begged with his eyes, since he couldn't really speak. Another sharp pang had shot through him, rendering the elder immobile. He sputtered and whimpered, this time with actual agony.

"Aw, does little Lexy have a tummy ache?" Jack teased, taking it a bit too far.

He saw Alex was on the verge of tears, clutching his gut and breathing raggedly. When Alex didn't show the slightest amusement, Jack abandoned the joke and resigned to taking care of his best friend.

"M'sorry," he mumbled, carefully approaching the teen. Alex nodded halfheartedly and staggered over to Jack.

Stupid cheeseburger, stupid restaurant, stupid Alex, the taller boy thought although not meaning the last part. The boy was intelligent as ever, he just shouldn't have eaten that. He was mad and frustrated that the vocalist hadn't attempted to heal himself sooner.

But Jack was in love with the boy, so he didn't stay angry for very long.

"Carry me?" Alex mumbled, the question barely leaving his humiliated lips with cheeks burning. He literally couldn't move. And how could Jack deny the simple request?

He strode towards his best friend and slipped his arms under Alex's, lifting him so he could wrap his legs around his torso. The elder limply draped his arms around Jack's neck and dropped his head to rest on his shoulder.

Alex's breathing hitched in his throat as he moved, but it quickly faded in the comfort of Jack's embrace. Alex murmured a sincere thanks and kissed behind Jack's ear, accompanying the praise.

"I got you, Alex."
___________

Four hours later and the pain was practically gone, save the dull ache. Alex was more than grateful, but Jack was light years past that, thankful he didn't have to see the boy he loved in so much excruciating pain.

They had been laying in bed together for a while as it subsided, Jack rubbing Alex's abdomen gently in attempt to soothe him, stifle the pain. It'd worked for a while until Alex got up to use the bathroom and the cramps returned. But that was two hours previous.

Now Jack was making lunch for himself and Alex, even though the shorter boy probably wouldn't eat it. Anyway, he took a long shot, making a marshmallow fluff and peanut butter sandwiches. Both of their favorite things, on a piece of bread.

When Jack returned to the room with the two plates, Alex was sound asleep. All Jack could think about was how adorable and fragile and young he looked. Sleep did wonders to relax him. Despite that, Alex was still shirtless and Jack could see how thin and pale he looked.

Jack set the plate on the side table and made a mental note to make sure Alex ate it later. He closed the curtains and softly kissed his hair. The guitarist put the back of his hand on Alex's forehead and gasped when it was burning up. He hurried out to get a cool washcloth and came back, finding Alex barely awake and blinking drowsily.

"I don't feel good," he whispered, quivering with cold despite the thin layer of sweat that glistened on him. His bottom lip trembled and he brought his own hand up to his forehead. He cringed at the heat and cowered away as Jack approached with the cloth.

"You need to reduce the fever," Jack explained as Alex retreated enough to drape the damp material over him. The brunette mumbled a thanks and climbed back under the covers.

"Love me," Alex pleaded childishly, making grabby hands at Jack. The younger glanced at Alex, then back through the door, as if to check if anyone was there, then resigned to comforting him.

"I do," Jack thought to himself, but he didn't know he had said it out loud.

Alex's eyes shot open wide.

"Wha- wait, what?" Alex stuttered, mouth gaping and cheeks flushed.

The taller desperately grappled for an excuse, a lie, a story...anything, really. He didn't want Alex to find out this way. Just a stupid slip up, a mistake. He wanted to say it and really mean it.

He wanted Alex to know how much he cared, how much he just loved everything about him. Alex was insecure and fragile, and he needed to know how much Jack couldn't live without the boy.

"Jack, what?" The elder warned carefully. Jack sighed, becoming overwhelmed. And he made a stupid, spur-of-the-moment decision.

"Alex, I- you know what? Goodbye," Jack spat and slipped out of the bed, slamming the door as he left.

Because, really, Alex had absolutely no idea.