Lost and Found

It’s freezing. This is the coldest I have ever been. It’s so cold that I can’t even feel my legs. Actually, I don’t mind not being able to feel my legs; I can’t feel the pain from the bruises if they’re cold and numb. You’re probably wondering why I have bruises and why I am out here all alone, freezing cold. That’s a simple question with a simple answer; my parents don’t like me. They hurt me. It’s okay though. I’m okay now. At least I’m not with them anymore. I don’t even know how long it’s been. A few weeks, maybe. I’ve been living in this field since I ran away; it was the furthest place from my house that I could reach before collapsing from exhaustion.
I thought about going to visit my aunt and uncle, but that would lead to questions and I wasn’t sure if I’d want to answer them. I made sure that I grabbed a sleeping bag before I left; I’m glad I did. Living this way isn’t exactly ideal; it’s not at all what I wanted. I’d much rather live with parents who didn’t hate me, but here I am. Sixteen years old and homeless. I haven’t eaten for at least two days; I ran out of money. I manage to use public bathrooms to clean up and use the tap water to drink. I get by as best I can. I know I can’t stay here forever. I just don’t know what to do now, or where to go.
“Are you okay?” A boy shouts and walks towards me. I keep my head down in the hope that he goes away. I don’t think to move somewhere else. I take a chance and look up. The boy looks tall and lanky; definitely a lot taller than me. He looks about my age. He has dark brown hair that covers his eyes slightly. He’s wearing comfy slim fit jeans and a plain white t-shirt with a red hooded jumper. He is also wearing converse, like mine. He stops in front of me.
“Are you okay?” The boy says for the second time as he towers over me. He must think I look pathetic. Me, the same age as him, homeless, sleeping in the field. To say I’m embarrassed is an understatement. I push my hair out of my eyes slightly and shift uncomfortably in my sleeping bag. The boy squats down and balances on the balls of his feet to look me in the eyes. He gives me a kind smile and holds out his hand; kind of like you would when greeting a dog so the dog knows they’re safe.
“I’m Troy...” He keeps his hand stuck out and the smile is still firmly on his face. I can tell it’s real; it reaches his eyes.

I take his hand with mine and shake it gently. I also return the smile. I don’t quite think mine reaches my eyes though; not because it’s not genuine but because I’m too exhausted.
“I’m Michael... And yeah, I’m okay, thank you.” Now Troy is closer I notice that his eyes are blue. They look too blue though, like he’s wearing contacts. Troy nods his head in response to my self-belief of sanity and health. He looks like he’s considering something.
“Hey... Err... This may be really weird but do you think you’d like to come back to my house? My parents are really nice... I’m sure my mum would make you something to eat...” Troy looks at me intently and then puts his head down as if he may have offended me.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to cause any problems...” The last thing I would want to do is go to Troy’s house and then his parents have to turn me away. I would be back on the streets and they would feel guilty for turning their backs on a sixteen year old kid in desperate need of a proper wash and a decent meal. I couldn’t expect them to do anything for me.

Troy smiles whilst grabbing my bag and putting it on his back. He starts walking slowly away from me. I sit there for a moment not really sure if this is real. Troy turns around and looks at me.
“Come on then. What are you waiting for? The rain?” Troy turns his back to me again and starts walking. I get out of my sleeping bag as quick as I can and roll it up in my arms. I catch up with Troy as he’s crossing the road to get on the path opposite the field.
“I only live up here... I like walking in the field now and again when I need to think. It’s lucky I came today... How long have you been out here?” Troy stops and takes my bag off of his back.
“Err... To be honest I’m not sure... A few weeks.” I stand next to Troy waiting for him to keep walking. He takes the sleeping bag from me and puts it into the backpack so it’s out of the way. After putting my bag back on to his back he then carries on walking.

“Well this is me.” Troy’s house is ordinary looking. There are a few flowers blooming from the patch of grass in his front garden and there are various ornaments in a few places. I think about my front garden back home; a big concrete pavement that was grey and chalky looking. Troy goes to the front door and knocks. A few seconds later a lady, who I assume is Troy’s mother opens the door to greet us. She looks about thirty years old. She has black hair that’s straight and hangs just above her shoulders. She has the greenest eyes I’ve ever seen. Her eyes look like the type of eyes that you could trust. The type of eyes that are full of love and compassion. They’re also the type of eyes that could be very piercing if they had to be. She is wearing a loose fitted knitted jumper and jeans that bag slightly. She looks comfy and relaxed. She looks welcoming, loving. She’s much smaller than her son but the same height as me.

She gives Troy a hug before he even walks through the door. Troy returns the hug with enthusiasm. They clearly have a strong relationship.
“Dinner’s nearly... Oh, who’s your friend?” Her voice is sweet but in a soothing way. Not in a sickly sweet way where you think the owner is putting it on. Troy’s mum looks past him and at me. She smiles kindly and whole heartedly. I return the smile as best I can. I’m nervous because I don’t want her to think badly of me. I’ve tried to keep myself looking as nice as I can for someone that sleeps in a field. I wonder if she can already tell or whether I don’t look too bad.
“This is Michael; I met him as I was walking... Michael, this is my mum, Tracey.” Troy looks from Tracey to me and smiles at us both.
“Oh well, you best come in. Dinner’s nearly ready!” Tracey ushers both me and Troy into the house. I smell the meat as soon as I step over the line of the door. The smell is so strong I can taste it in my mouth.
“So Michael, what school do you go to?” Tracey pours orange juice into a glass and offers it to me. I take it gladly and gulp it down quickly. I keep hold of the glass because I don’t want to mess up the kitchen.
“Err... I don’t... I don’t go to school right now.” I look at the inside of my glass and make the last tiny drops of orange juice run around the bottom. I look up and see Tracey smiling kindly.
“Well I’m sure you’ll find a placement soon.” She holds her hand out and looks at the glass in my hands. I hand it over.
“Thank you.” I smile as a way of gratitude. Tracey places the glass into the dishwasher and then turns her back on me and Troy to carry on with the dinner.

The atmosphere within the house is so different. Well different from what I’m used to anyway. Troy’s home seems quiet and peaceful. My house was just always so loud and angry. I like it here. I’ve only been here for a matter of minutes but I feel safe somehow. I don’t know why, but I feel like this is where I belong. I shouldn’t be thinking like that. I could never expect that this family would want someone like me. Troy just asked me to come back with him because he feels sorry for me. They’ll give me some food and then send me on my way. That’s more than I could expect. Tracey starts dishing up the dinner and hums to herself.
“Where’s dad?” Troy grabs a glass and pours himself some orange juice.
“Just rang before you got home. He’ll be here any minute.” Tracey says this with a cheery tone like she can’t wait for the love of her life to walk through the door. They seem so happy living here, it’s almost like I’ve stepped into a whole new world. Troy drinks his juice and just like Tracey had with my glass, puts it into the dishwasher when he’s done.

The front door opens and a man walks through. He looks a little older than Tracey, but not by much. He has dark brown hair, just like Troy’s except it’s trimmed shorter. His suit tells me that he must do an important job. He’s slightly taller than me but shorter than Troy. When he talks it’s not what I expect. It’s happy and cheery, like he’s really happy to be home. My dad would hate coming home from work; that meant he had to see me.
“Hello everyone!” The man says in his cheery voice. When he sees me he doesn’t even hesitate.
“Oh, hello. I haven’t seen you round here before. Troy here normally only ever has girl’s round nowadays...” The man looks at Troy feigning disapproval before giving him a wink and then quickly looking at Tracey to make sure she didn’t see. Just as he does Tracey turns around to face us all.
“Which I don’t approve of! You shouldn’t be with all of these girls Troy, you don’t want a reputation.” She turns back and grabs two plates and puts them on to the table. Troy laughs slightly and tilts his head back.
“Mum! I’m not getting a reputation. It’s not like I’m sleeping with all of them... I mean yeah we kiss and stuff but that’s it... Most of the time... But it doesn’t matter; all of the girl’s agree they don’t want to be in a relationship anyway... If I thought they were going to be hurt... Well I just wouldn’t hurt them okay... Besides I haven’t been with anyone for ages. Now can we just have dinner please?” Troy sits at the table and I do the same. Tracey sighs but puts her hands up in surrender. The man who is obviously Troy’s dad looks over at me and smiles. I smile back.
“So, as I was saying before my darling Tracey went off on one of her little rants...” He takes Tracey’s hand and kisses it to show that he’s only kidding. “I haven’t seen you here before. Are you new to Troy’s school?” Tracey coughs lightly as if to interrupt.
“Honey, this is Michael. He doesn’t go to school right now.” Tracey takes a mouthful of food.
“Oh, right well, it’s nice to meet you anyway. I’m Andy.” Andy nods slightly as a way of recognition. All of a sudden my stomach goes tight. I don’t want them to think that I’m a bad kid because I’m not going to school.

After we’ve all eaten Troy helps Tracey load the dishwasher. I ask if I can help but Tracey and Andy assure me I don’t need to do anything. After everything has been cleared away everyone moves to the living room. I can’t believe that I’m actually still here. I thought that they would’ve chucked me out by now. The living room is really nice and homely. Tracey had lit a candle that filled the whole room with a chocolate smell. There’s pictures on the walls of their family members; cousins, grandfathers, that kind of thing. This whole home just seems like something I couldn’t even dream of. Not that my house wasn’t nice. Anyone else would look at it and think it was exactly like Troy’s. My house wasn’t a home though. It didn’t have that warm cosy feeling that Troy’s does.

As the clock gets to ten I start to think that maybe I should grab my bag and say goodbye. Before I get around to it Troy asks if I can stay the night.
“Is it okay for Michael to stay the night? It’s a weekend after all...” I really don’t know why Troy is doing this. I’ve never had anyone be this nice to me. I can’t believe that one person can come into my life and all of a sudden mean so much to me. Troy really is the type of person that everyone should aspire to be. Tracey and Andy look at each other. Andy shrugs his shoulders. He’d taken off his suit jacket and his tie and is now sitting with his feet up on the couch with his shirt sleeves rolled up.
“Yeah, okay.” Tracey agrees for me to stay.
“Thank you.”
“No problem.” Tracey grabs a chocolate from the box on the table and takes a bite. All of us then carry on watching the television. When it gets to eleven Tracey and Andy say their good nights. Troy goes to the kitchen and gets us both a drink, after that he turns the television off and we both go up to his room.

“Listen, Troy... You really don’t have to do this. You didn’t have to invite me over and give me food and let me stay the night... I’m really grateful and everything but you didn’t have to.” I stand in the doorway of the room, keeping hold of my bag, contemplating whether I should just leave.
“Don’t be stupid... It’s no big deal. The sofa there pulls out to make another bed. Will you be okay sleeping on that?” Troy goes and pulls the bed out.
“I’ve been sleeping in a field. I’m sure the sofa will be fine.” I laugh slightly and so does Troy. “I just err... I don’t want to get the sofa dirty. I’m not covered in dirt or anything but I haven’t exactly been able to clean properly... I don’t mind taking the floor and just using my sleeping bag...” I scratch the back of my neck and look down at the floor. I’ve never felt more ashamed to be me.
“You can take a shower if you want... I’ll get you a towel and some clothes... By the way, don’t worry. You don’t smell like you’ve been sleeping in a field for weeks.” Troy goes in to his wardrobe and gets out some clean clothes. He lays them on the sofa bed and then walks out of the room. A few seconds later he comes back with a towel. It’s a beige colour and looks like it would be really warm and soft. I haven’t had a shower for weeks; I had to use public bathrooms to wash myself in the sinks. I would also use the sinks and the soap dispensers to clean my only pair of clothes. I’d then use the hand dryer to dry them as best I could. It wasn’t great but it was all I could do. If Troy didn’t think I smelled bad then it must have worked okay.
“Bathrooms right at the end.” Troy hands me the towel and I nod my head in thanks. I walk to the end of the hallway and open the door.

The bathroom is white and gleaming. There’s a cabinet that has mirrors for the doors. The bath is a nice size with a separate shower next to it. I take off my clothes, folding them neatly as I do so and placing them on the toilet seat. Mother Nature calls so I take my clothes off of the seat and place them on the floor. I lift the lid of the toilet and flush when I’m done. I place my clothes back on to the seat. I step into the shower and close the glass door. As the shower head explodes with water my body’s senses go into overdrive. The water falling on to my skin feels heavenly; like an exotic waterfall. The temperature is just right. The shower gel is right in front of me; I pour a little into my hand and wash myself properly; thankful that this isn’t another night of washing with soap from a dispenser in the public bathroom sink. Once I’m done I turn the water off. I step out into the slightly colder air and grab the towel quickly; it’s warm and soft like I thought it would be. I look around and realise I didn’t bring the t-shirt and jogging bottoms that Troy left out on the sofa bed. I dry myself quickly with the towel feeling the softness on my body contrast with the sharp pain of my bruises. I tighten the towel around my waist and grab my dirty clothes from the toilet seat.

Before I go into Troy’s room I quickly knock. He signals I can come in.
“Sorry, I forgot the clothes before I went into the bathroom...” I momentarily forget about the bruises on my upper body. Troy stares at me for a while and then clears his throat.
“It’s okay... I’ll stand outside whilst you get changed... Here, let me take those clothes I’ll go put them in the wash for tomorrow.” Troy looks at my bruises one last time and then walks out of the room. I get changed slowly; feeling the day finally take a toll on me. I’ve never been so grateful for one single day in my entire life. I feel refreshed after the shower and having new clothes to put on is a relief. The clothes feel different on my skin; softer, warmer.

A little bit later Troy knocks on the door. He comes in and then sits on his bed. He looks at me whilst I’m looking through my bag. The lucky coin that my granddad gave me is safely tucked in the bottom, I make sure to check that it’s still there every night. I take it out quickly and put it to my lips; smelling and tasting the metal at the same time. My granddad would have protected me, I know it. I then put it back to the bottom of my bag, zipping it up and putting it in the corner. I sit on the sofa bed and see that Troy is still watching me.
“Those bruises...” I cut Troy off before he can say anything else.
“I don’t want to talk about it... Not right now. Today’s been a good day for me and I don’t want to ruin it. I’ll explain tomorrow... Please.” I look into Troy’s eyes and see that they are warm and caring. They are also slightly glazed over with anger. Anger at me? No it can’t be, I haven’t done anything wrong, at least I don’t think I have. Anger at the bruises on my skin? Maybe.
“Okay, you don’t have to talk about it now... If you want to talk about it tomorrow then I’ll listen...” Troy looks at me as if waiting for me to say something. After just under a minute of silence Troy turns the light out and gets into his bed. I place my head into my hands briefly and then rub my forehead. I look out into the darkness to where Troy would be laying. I wonder what will happen tomorrow. Will I be back on the streets? Will Troy help me find somewhere to stay? Will he convince me to stay with another family member? I sigh softly and then get under the covers of the sofa bed. As soon as my head touches the pillow, I fall into a deep sleep.