Lost and Found

It’s been a week since I’ve lived with Tracey, Andy, and Troy. It’s been good. A lot better than my house and my real family. Last weekend they said that they were going to get me into Troy’s school. I’m actually looking forward to it. After not being at school for what seems like forever, it’ll be good to be with loads of people my own age. I’m not even really bothered about kids being horrible; I know that Troy will look out for me.

“Everything okay Michael?” Andy walks into the kitchen, he’s leaving for work. He’s wearing his black suit today with a crimson tie and white shirt.
“Yeah, I’m good…” I smile. “Have a good day at work.” Andy smiles back and picks up his brief case.
“You have a good day to… Oh can you do me a favour and take the rubbish out when you’ve got a minute? Thanks son.” Andy shouts his goodbyes so that Troy and Tracey will be able to hear him from wherever they are in the house. Two more shouts of “bye” and “see you later” come travelling through the house.” It sounds like Troy’s in his room and Tracey must be in the living room dusting. Andy’s been calling me son a lot. I like it. It makes me feel wanted. It makes me feel a part of things. I empty and re-load the dishwasher so that Tracey doesn’t have to do it after she’s cleaned the living room. I then quickly take the bin out so I don’t forget. I don’t mind doing things around the house. Tracey and Andy are nice about it. If I forget they’ve asked me to do something they won’t hurt me. They won’t even raise their voice. They’ll just politely ask me again and then I get on with it. No fuss. No beating.

I go upstairs where Troy is playing his PlayStation. It’s been nice having Troy around. It’s made life a little more bearable. I never had brothers or sisters. I’m glad I didn’t to be honest. It would have just been more people to hate me besides my parents. Troy’s different from most kids our age. He’s nice. Troy never judges anyone either. He didn’t judge me when I was sleeping rough; or when he found out I was beaten. Even when his parents say things about certain kids at his school he tells them they probably don’t know the full story; even if his mum does work for the school.
“Hey, want to play?” Troy hands me the other PlayStation controller. I take it and Troy changes the settings on the game to multiplayer. I always won when I played against Troy. I think part of him still feels bad so he feels that he has to go easy on me. I don’t mind too much, I do get paranoid sometimes though, what if Troy only treats me nicely because he feels that he has to? What if he sees me as this pathetic, needy kid? I pause the game.
“Troy, be honest, are you letting me win?” I look Troy dead in the eye. He looks away quickly and then sighs.
“A little… Kind of… Yeah… Sorry.” Troy doesn’t look at me.
“You don’t have to feel sorry for me. You don’t have to let me win to spare my feelings. It’s only a game Troy. If I lose, I lose, okay? I don’t want you treating me differently. What happened, it’s done. I want to get over it but I can’t if everyone is treating me like I’ll break at any given second.” I take a deep breath. Troy looks at me for a second and then nods.
“Okay, but I’m totally going to win now.” Troy un-pauses the game and we start again. Troy does win this time but I don’t feel bad about it. We play a few more games, I win a few times and so does Troy.

Tracey calls Troy and me down for lunch. She’s made pasta. At my house I’d be lucky to get breakfast and lunch. My parents made me feel so uncomfortable that I wouldn’t want to go downstairs to get anything. Most days I wouldn’t even have dinner or a drink. I didn’t have any friends to stay with either. It was horrible. At least it’s not like that now. It might turn that way though.
“Are you looking forward to going to school Michael?” Tracey sets down the pasta in-front of me. “We have your uniform. You’ll have to try it on to make sure that it’s the right size, we only have tomorrow to sort it out if it needs changing.”
“Yeah I am. I think it’ll be good. Troy will be there so I won’t have to worry about making friends too quickly… And yeah, I’ll try it on after we’ve eaten, I’m sure it’ll be okay, you took my measurements before you went to get it.” I take a mouthful of pasta. Troy is sitting there eating, he’s nearly finished already.
“You’ll be fine at Troy’s school. I’ll be there to if you need anything.”
“Mum, he’ll be fine, he won’t need to come to you okay? I’ll look out for him. I’m sure he won’t get any trouble anyway.” Troy puts his bowl and fork into the dishwasher and gets three cups out of the cupboard. He pours everyone juice and hands them out.

Once I’ve finished eating and put my bowl, fork, and glass into the dishwasher Tracey gets me my school uniform. I go upstairs to mine and Troy’s bedroom; wearing the school uniform makes everything seem too real. I start to feel a little bit sick. Suddenly I’m nervous to go to school. I sit on my bed, taking deep breaths. I hear a knock on the door, Troy comes in.
“You okay? You’ve been up here for a while… Michael?” I look at Troy.
“I’m fine… Yeah, I’m okay.” Troy sits next to me on my bed.
“You nervous?” I nod in reply. Troy puts his arm around me. “You’ll be okay… I’ve got some great people at my school. You’ll love them.” Troy pats me on the back and then stands up. “Now come on, mum wants to see you and make sure the uniform fits okay.” I stand up and walk downstairs with Troy. Tracey is in the living room watching television. She sees me and smiles.
“I’m glad it fits okay… You look very handsome.” She gives me a hug and then continues watching her programme. I go up to get back into my normal clothes whilst Troy and Tracey stay downstairs and watch television.

When Andy gets home we all have dinner. He says that he’s had a good day at work; the case is hard but he’s determined to win it. We all assure him that he will.
“Everything sorted for school tomorrow Michael?” I finish my dinner.
“Yeah, everything’s done and ready.”
“That’s good then son.” Andy gets up and collects the dishes. I thought maybe Troy would feel uncomfortable with Andy calling me son; he doesn’t seem to mind.

Sleep that night came easy. I didn’t even think about waking up in the morning and going to school; which was surprising. My sleep was un-disturbed and peaceful; waking up, not so much. The alarm buzzing was irritating. I rub the sleep out of my eyes and say good morning to Troy, he grunts in reply; he’s not a morning person. I get up and make myself a coffee. I don’t normally drink it but I felt that I would need something to keep me awake. The shower felt icy first thing in the morning. I didn’t mind too much because it woke me up a little more. So with the coffee and the cold shower I was feeling refreshed and ready to face a day of school. I just needed to check my bag; which Tracey had bought me with my school uniform. It was a satchel, it was brown and plain; I liked it. I had everything I needed. Tracey was downstairs drinking coffee; we were both waiting for Troy. When he finally came down the stairs, fixing his tie, we left.

“Have a good day both of you.” Tracey shouts after us as we get out of the car and make our way into the school building.
“You too.” We both shout back. Walking through the school doors make me feel slightly shaky. I haven’t been to school for a while, I’ve forgotten what it’s like. With Troy by my side I feel better though. Three people walk up to us; they all greet Troy.
“Guys, this is Michael… Michael this is Bette, Dylan and Max.” Troy points to each of the people in front of me as he says their names. They all smile.
“Hey Michael, nice to meet you.” Bette puts her hand out and I shake it. She smiles again and then links arms with Troy. I didn’t know Troy had a girlfriend. I give him a subtle look but he understands. He rolls his eyes but then smirks slightly. I raise my eyebrows to let him know that he has to tell me later. He nods discreetly. No-one else notices this exchange.
“Hi Michael.” Dylan says. He looks at me for a second and then looks away.
“You’re going to like it here, it’s not too bad.” Max says with a smile. Max has black hair; it’s also quite wavy and hangs just below his ears. His eyes are a silvery blue; nowhere near as blue as Troy’s. He’s wearing his school uniform but he’s wearing doc martens on his feet. The girl, Bette has curly hair that brushes her shoulders. She has big eyes that are a light brown just like her hair and skin that is flawless. Bette is pretty, I can see why Troy would like her. Dylan’s short curly hair is black, which contrasts with the vividness of his green eyes; making them more piercing and bright.

Max opens his locker and takes out the books he needs and puts away the ones he doesn’t. Tracey already got my timetable for me so I don’t need to panic; turns out that Troy is in the majority of my lessons.
“What’s your first lesson?” Max holds his hand out to take my time table; I hand it over. I have math which is one of the two lessons that Troy isn’t there for. This thought makes me panic. I don’t want to walk into the room alone, having everyone staring at me. I haven’t been to school in so long that I honestly don’t think I’ll make it through today without having a panic attack.
“I’m in your math class... I’ll show you where it is.” My heart stops beating too fast and I manage to regain composure. Knowing that Max will be in the class with me makes me feel better. I’ve only just met him but he seems like a nice person and easy to get on with. As Max hands me my time table another girl walks over to the group. I’m surprised when no one greets her.
“Hey you okay?” The girl puts her arms around Dylan’s neck; they share a quick kiss. Everyone looks at the floor or to the side. I look over at Bette and she rolls her eyes.
“I’ll see you later okay?” Dylan moves the girl’s arms from around his neck. She smiles and walks away; everyone starts laughing. Dylan smirks and shakes his head.
“Are you seriously still going there Dylan?” Troy continues laughing lightly as we walk down the corridor.
“Yeah, thought you broke up after she found out you cheated?” Dylan scowls at Max.
“Wait. You cheated on her? You told me she went crazy on you. Dylan that really isn’t cool. What’s wrong with you?”
“Whatever Troy, it’s not like you don’t mess around with more than one girl.” Dylan smirks. Bette moves away from Troy slightly; why would Dylan say that? It would obviously upset Bette. Everyone stops outside a door. Bette says goodbye and walks into the classroom. Troy immediately starts having a go at Dylan as we continue walking.
“Why did you have to do that? You know what Bette’s like! Me and her are taking things slow and not getting into a relationship because we don’t want it to get in the way of our friendship. That doesn’t mean there aren’t feelings there. Oh, and for your information, I haven’t “messed around” with anyone since me and Bette admitted our feelings for each other. So do me a favour and stop being such a dick.” Troy storms off and Dylan walks into a nearby classroom.
“Come on. Math is this way.” Max smiles weakly and leads the way to our math class.
“Do they normally argue? Will Troy be okay?”
“Dylan just doesn’t know when to quit... Troy’s not one to lose his temper though, he’ll be okay.” I feel like I should have followed Troy and made sure. He did seem pretty annoyed. The math lesson makes me forget about what happened between Dylan and Troy for fifty minutes. Math is so hard; I don’t think I’ll ever understand it.

At the end of the day Tracey is waiting for me and Troy by her car. Troy has been silent pretty much all day and Dylan’s nowhere to be seen. The car ride home is pretty quiet to. I use the silence to let myself think about everything. I think about my real parents. I think about my real family. I start thinking about my life right now, in this moment. So different, so unexpected, so great. The rest of the day goes quickly; before I know it I’m already in bed.
“Troy, you awake?” I keep thinking about what happened with Dylan and Troy earlier. After having so much hate in my life I just can’t stand it anymore.
“Yeah, what’s wrong?” Troy sits up and turns the lamp on.
“I was just worried about you because of earlier, with Bette and Dylan and everything...” Troy sighs and opens his mouth to speak but then sighs again.
“Dylan can just be horrible sometimes is all. Me and him go back a long time so we’ll always have each other’s back. I just don’t know what’s gotten into him lately. He’s being an idiot to everyone. The way he just said that in front of Bette to, he knows I haven’t been with anyone since me and Better spoke. I spoke to her earlier and she’d been crying because she thinks I lied to her about my feelings and that I’ve been seeing other people. All because of what Dylan said! She’s okay now though but it just annoyed me, he said it knowing it would hurt her.” Troy runs one of his hands through his hair and sighs. He leans back in bed resting on his pillows.
“You really like her huh?” I laugh lightly and smile at Troy. He smiles whilst trying not to look at me.
“Bette’s just different. She’s not like all of the other girls. She actually knows me. She sees past the looks and sees who I am inside, you know?”
“Yeah, I get that. Why don’t you put each other out of your miseries and be boyfriend and girlfriend already?” Troy laughs lightly and then sighs.
“We just have a good friendship. We’re scared of it being ruined so we’re just taking things slowly...”
“Any slower you’ll be driving Miss Daisy dude.”
“Yeah... I know you’re right. I want to be with her, I’m just scared I guess. I think she feels a little insecure because of the other girls I’ve been with. Obviously Dylan didn’t help that situation. I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”
“She’ll be okay. She obviously likes you.”
“Yeah... Anyway, enough of this soppy shit... Night dude.” We both laugh whilst Troy turns out the light.