Lovely Sad

Brunch with former sorority sisters.

Poppy had never expressed such self-control as when she listened to Candice explain why she had to leave their Saturday morning meeting early. She thought Candice had to have been joking at first, but as she grabbed her things off of the kitchen counter and headed out the front door Poppy realized it was in fact true. She had forced Poppy to move forward their Saturday afternoon appointment so she could go to brunch. Every muscle in Poppy’s body wanted to laugh and roll her eyes, but she smiled politely at the brunette woman as she explained the situation. Meanwhile, Poppy thought up every curse word and insult her half-asleep brain could muster towards the woman.

Her brunch reservation was the reason John had had to leave so early the night before, and now Poppy wasn’t able to drive him to the airport to drop him off for his trip to California. She wanted to squeeze in as much extra time as possible with him, especially now that she knew he was leaving for tour soon, but the 6am Saturday wakeup call this meeting had required cancelled out those plans.

But a few hours into the meeting, after Candice had picked out the new shower tile for the bathroom in the master bedroom, she was excusing herself and entrusting the rest of the design approval power to Adrian.

The house still lacking any furniture, Poppy leaned her elbows on the large island in the kitchen where the three had been standing around and discussing ideas all morning. She let out a long sigh as she crossed out another item on the ridiculously long to-do list she had for the upcoming week for this project.

“Could she have any more of a pretentious excuse to leave?” Adrian asked, shaking his head as he let out a low laugh. His eyes were focused on the paint samples laid out before him on the granite countertop, and he seemed to be talking more to himself, but he had taken the words directly out of Poppy’s mouth.

Was this a test? Was he trying to get Poppy to shit talk a client to get her fired? Adrian had always been a little devious when they were together. She looked up at him skeptically, but he seemed to be more focused on flipping through the paint samples in front of him. He looked up from the small cards, holding one of them up towards Poppy.

“Would this work for the washroom off of the main foyer?” He asked, handing the paint sample over to Poppy. It was a pale shade of blue, and Poppy scowled down at the colour. “I take it by the look on your face that’s a solid no.” Adrian laughed, snatching the card back from her and resuming his search through the rest of them.

It was a nice colour, one of Poppy’s favourite’s actually. But the light blue just reminder her of John and how she was missing sending him off for his trip in favour of being locked into a design meeting with her ex-husband. The colour Adrian had handed her looked just like the shade of blue John and the rest of his band were using as their colour scheme for their new album. He had been telling her all of the details surrounding the recording process and eventual release of ‘American Candy’ over dinner the night before. He had been so excited, telling her all about the positive feedback the band had received so far after they released the first single. They had just recorded a new video for the second single the day before, and Poppy wasn’t fully familiar with the details of it, but it resulted in John arriving for their dinner date ranting on about how blowing bubbles with gum wasn’t nearly as easy as everyone claimed it to be. Poppy had yet to hear any of his music, always telling herself she’d get around to it but never having the time. John never seemed offended by this, but Poppy was now feeling a little guilty thinking about it.

He hadn’t even left yet and Poppy was already moping and sulking over seeing a paint sample that resembled his band’s album cover. How was she ever going to cope with him going on tour? He was only going to be gone for a week to visit friends. Maybe she wasn’t really cut out for whatever it was she was getting herself involved in.

“Poppy?” She looked up with wide eyes at Adrian who was holding a collection of the paint samples. “Are you listening at all?”

“Sorry,” She started, shaking her head to try and get rid of these new thoughts. “What were you saying?”

Adrian placed the paint chips back onto the counter, now looking intently at Poppy. He had always been able to read her emotions too well. “Is everything alright?”

She nodded before looking back down at the checklist she had scribbled down onto the notebook page in front of her. “Just peachy. Have you decided on what size bed you were thinking of for the guest bedrooms?” She asked, noting that was the next thing on her list.

“I have. I’ve only been talking about it for the last 5 minutes.”

Poppy blushed, refusing to look up from the notebook as she scratched out that item.

“What’s got you so distracted all of a sudden?”

“Nothing.” It was too quick of an answer. Poppy didn’t even need to look up to know there was a smirk situated on Adrian’s unshaven face.

He resumed sorting out the paint samples, the smirk permanently fixated on his face. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re a little nervous about spending the week alone with me.”

That got Poppy’s attention as her head snapped up and she stared at Adrian with wide eyes.

“Were you paying attention at all?” He teased.

Evidently not, and somewhere between Poppy pining over John and deciding their relationship was probably doomed she had missed the part where Adrian explained Candice was leaving. Off to Flagstaff for the week to visit her parents, trusting all of the design approvals to Adrian. This meant a week of one-on-one meetings for Poppy and Adrian. If she hadn’t worked herself up enough already, the thought of that was now sending her over the edge and she wanted to puke.

“Do you two ever actually spend time together?” An unprofessional response, but Poppy’s emotions were in overdrive at the moment.

“It’s not always like this.” Adrian laughed in response to her comment, signalling he wasn’t offended and about to call up Candice to have Poppy fired and ruin her life a little bit more. “We’re solid, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“I’m not implying anything.”

Adrian just nodded his head, clearly not convinced by Poppy’s answer. At that moment, she wasn’t entirely convinced she didn’t meant it that way herself.

Her relationship with Adrian had always been safe and stable. They never spent more than a few days apart, he didn’t have a job that resulted in him travelling the world for months at a time. His job was also incredibly financially stable. Not that Poppy wasn’t alright on her own, but she always considered that a priority when finding a partner. On paper, Adrian was the perfect partner that Poppy grew up dreaming about. Ideally he would have been a little bit younger, as she blamed the age gap as what eventually tore them apart. He had wanted to get serious and start a family, but Poppy was 22 and fresh out of college. The marriage didn’t last much longer after that conversation.

She was older now, though, the idea of kids and having a family beginning to nag at the back of her mind. Approaching 26, she always saw this as the age where she was going to get ready to start settling down and stop wasting her time with guys who weren’t going to take her anywhere. Maybe if Adrian knew that and understood how much maturing Poppy had done in the last three years things would be different.

She didn’t know what John wanted. Surely you can’t be a struggling rockstar and support a family. Would he just leave for tours and leave Poppy alone at home with kids? He seemed to voice that he had no intention of ever stopping touring or making music with his band.

No. They weren’t even dating, Poppy needed to cut it out and come back to reality. John didn’t matter, he was leaving. And they had basically decided last night that they weren’t exclusive. That’s what that conversation had meant, right? She wasn’t his girlfriend so that way he could be free to do whatever he wanted while on the road. It was a long time to be away, it would be only natural that his eyes would wander. Except, Poppy had been the one to suggest she wasn’t ready to be in an actual relationship, so what if he didn’t actually feel that way? No, John had definitely seemed just as much in agreement when she suggested it.

She needed to stop overthinking this, and just relax.

“Can you calm down?” Adrian’s voice brought Poppy back to reality as he walked towards her, placing his hands on her shoulders as he stood behind her. “You’re thinking so hard, I’m worried steam is about to start coming out of your ears.”

Poppy managed to mumble out a weak apology, wanting nothing more than to slap herself across the face and get her out of this daze. She let her eyes fall shut as she felt Adrian begin to rub her shoulders gently, every thought of John beginning to slip from her mind. This is exactly what Adrian used to do for Poppy after she had a long or stressful day, he always seemed to know exactly what to do. Maybe that’s what made the idea of a relationship with Adrian so appealing, he was familiar and they already knew everything about each other.

In that moment, with eyes closed, Poppy felt 22 again. Adrian always knew how to make her feel like the only one. It was easy to forget she was standing in the kitchen of a house he was going to one day share with a different woman. A woman that he was going to marry. Poppy already had that shot, and she had ruined it, selfishly picking her career and carefree youth over Adrian’s demands.

Poppy opened her eyes, turning to face Adrian. There was only mere inches between them, close enough to feel his breath as he let out a shaky sigh.

This was wrong. Poppy knew that. But it also felt familiar. It was normal. This was just classic Poppy and Adrian. It felt safe and safety was what she needed right now. Not the uncertainty of whether John was thinking about her, whether he was going to remember her when he left on tour, or whether he was ever going to see a future with Poppy.

It was a blur, happening too fast that Poppy was unsure of who made the first move, but seconds later her lips were on his as he effortlessly lifted her onto the kitchen countertop, his hands slipping up the back of her grey sweatshirt. This was going to be a one time thing, Poppy decided as her hands slipped down to unbutton Adrian’s dress shirt. She just needed to blow off some steam, it was no big deal. Her and Adrian had done this countless times before. So what if the details surrounding this rendezvous were a little more hazy, if no one found out Poppy considered that it didn’t count.

It would only be a one time thing. One and done. Poppy wasn’t about to break up this happy home. Candice and Adrian’s happy home that Poppy was getting paid to build, more specifically.