Status: trigger warning
Night Terrors
Dreams become reality
I was standing in the park, the one we’d always hang out in. I saw her, she was standing barefoot in the grass in her usual jeans and tee-shirt combo. Her light brown hair was in a loose pony and she was smiling, but it didn't reach her eyes. I knew she was actually crying out for help inside, if only I had realized that before. The scene changed and I was standing in her room, I knew what I would find I didn't want to but something was pushing me forward. I turned and saw her there. Laying on the floor in her own blood, two clean cuts along two clean wrists, blood stains on her clean white carpet. I froze. I was shaking, tears streaming down my face. I collapsed. She didn't deserve this. Someone of the worst things happen to some of the best people.
I woke up in a pool of sweat, breathing heavily. Dead, she was dead. I saw it every night in my sleep. Slit wrists. Dead.
The throbbing in my head calmed and my breathing evened out. i stay in bed for a while before i decide to get myself something to drink, but doing that didn't help get my mind off of the cold body, her body. The memory haunted me at night. She was sad and alone and I wasn't there when she needed me most. It was my fault and I knew it, no matter what the adults said her death was my fault and it haunted me in my sleep. It haunted me every second of every day. some of the worst things happen to some of the best people. She didn't deserve what happened to her, she didn't deserve any of this. I keep trying to tell myself that she’s in a better place and that that's why she left in the first place but I'm so selfish. I keep thinking it was unfair for her to leave me alone in this hell.
Her parents weren't even bothering to throw her a funeral. They say they anyone who would kill themselves is a “disgrace to the family name”. At this point they had practically disowned her. If you asked them about it there would be no clue that they had ever loved her, I still wasn’t sure about that myself. It was sad. She was an almost perfect daughter and an even better friend; but now I have to live my life knowing the only way I will ever see her again in through my dreams, and even then I wish I didn't have to.
I woke up in a pool of sweat, breathing heavily. Dead, she was dead. I saw it every night in my sleep. Slit wrists. Dead.
The throbbing in my head calmed and my breathing evened out. i stay in bed for a while before i decide to get myself something to drink, but doing that didn't help get my mind off of the cold body, her body. The memory haunted me at night. She was sad and alone and I wasn't there when she needed me most. It was my fault and I knew it, no matter what the adults said her death was my fault and it haunted me in my sleep. It haunted me every second of every day. some of the worst things happen to some of the best people. She didn't deserve what happened to her, she didn't deserve any of this. I keep trying to tell myself that she’s in a better place and that that's why she left in the first place but I'm so selfish. I keep thinking it was unfair for her to leave me alone in this hell.
Her parents weren't even bothering to throw her a funeral. They say they anyone who would kill themselves is a “disgrace to the family name”. At this point they had practically disowned her. If you asked them about it there would be no clue that they had ever loved her, I still wasn’t sure about that myself. It was sad. She was an almost perfect daughter and an even better friend; but now I have to live my life knowing the only way I will ever see her again in through my dreams, and even then I wish I didn't have to.