Oracles

My hair is still a bit damp from my shower. The snow comes down thicker without the sun around. I want to dive in the hills of snow, hoping it would soothe my burning skin.
My heart steadily beats. I stare through the glass windows, waiting for Kier to return. I've avoided him for two days since we...
The doorknob opens and a head of curls poke through. My heart stops. I wrap my arms around myself. I don't know why I'm so afraid. Perhaps because everything I believed in is shattered. Maybe I'm losing in the battle with myself, my will. I exhale and look at Kier.
He tosses his long curls back and drops his coat. He locks his eyes in mine. My body begins crying out, begging for me to satisfy its craving for his touch.
"Um," I start, trying to clear my mind, "Josephine talked to me today. She said she wants to keep all our emblems on record."
He doesn't say anything. He looks more surprised that I'm speaking to him.
"Oh," he looks away, "Okay."
I frown at his worriless expression. I watch him casually crack his knuckles. I grimace at the sounds.
"That's fine with you?"
"I guess," he replies with a shrug.
His eyes refuse to meet mine, now.
I sigh, letting myself go, and add, "It feels like the Cygnus trying to control us all over again."
"Listen, from the looks of things, it seems like our people are going to stay here. So far, Polaris has back down from future attacks. Luckily, that's been confirmed," he informs me.
"We're staying here?" I ask.
"There is nowhere else to go," he tells me, "We can't return to Badok. It's wiped out."
Kier's hands turn into fists. I stare at him. He's very good at concealing pain.
"Couldn't we rebuild?" I ask.
"That would take a lifetime. Besides, we don't have enough resources. Quint is more technically advanced. They have aerial force."
I figure he's had long talks with the President on military defense, and the President reassured him.
"I don't trust them," I confess in a whisper.
He finally looks in my eyes.
"Neither do I," he admits. I feel so relieved that we think the same. "But right now, we don't have any other option."
His reasoning makes sense in my brain. We need to ensure that our people are safe, and yes, right now they're safe. If we need an ally, we have Quint. No one said you have to put all your trust in your allies. I give Kier a nod of understanding.
He sighs heavily and trails into the bathroom. He didn't argue with me. He didn't cut me off. He didn't even order me around. It's not like him to be so downcast. He seems weaker than I remember. Is that because of me? This feeling will only worsen. I'm only adding fuel to the flame. I can't keep doing this... to him. I stand by the window again. Even if I throw a bucket of snow on him, he won't feel better. Even if I dip him in the cold lake, his body won't be appeased. It's just me. My hefty breath fogs up the glass. I'm tired of fighting it. I'm weakening myself, too.
After what could have been an hour, Kier comes back into the room. I hear him shuffling in the background. He collapses on the bed. I listen to his knuckles crackling all over again. I bite my lip and slowly spin around. Now, my heart speeds up. I walk up to the edge of the bed, looking down on Kier and wondering what he's thinking. His eyes are closed, but his jaw clenches. I can see the red blotches on his skin.
Sighing, I lift my knee and place it beside him. He opens his eyes, alert at the movement I create. I steady myself on top of him. His expression is blank, but he holds on to my stare. I tuck my hair behind my ears and take a breath. My thoughts get me nervous.
Kier swiftly tries to sit up, uncertain of what I'm doing.
"Sage, what are you-" he starts.
I push my hands against his body, forcing him back to lie down.
"It's okay," I mutter.
I watch his face frown.
"It's... okay?" he asks, reading me.
I give him a nod. I keep my hands on his abs, spreading my fingers over his scorching skin.
"You don't have to-" he starts.
"I want to," I cut him short.
He grabs my wrists, halting them from exploring his bare chest.
"I told you that we don't have to do anything about this," he argues.
One touch, and he's already returned to his old self. I begin to feel impatient and glare.
"I want to do something about it," I counter.
He doesn't give in, "I said-"
"You said to be there when you need me," I raise my voice over his.
He pauses and blinks at me. Annoyed that he opens his mouth to say another word, I lean down and kiss his lips.
He loosens his grip on my wrists. I entangle my fingers in his locks. My skin stops itching. Blissful shivers climb my spine. Kier's strong hands embrace me. Slowly and steadily, his hot lips move with mine. The craving conquers me. My body melts in his hands. I listen to his throat vibrate with a hungry groan. I part my lips for air and draw back, reminding him not to lose control. But his grip on me becomes tighter and his breaths become heavier. In an instant, he rolls me over on my back and settles on top of me, kissing me harder. My head spins with a mixture of shock and want. Kier then marks aggressive kisses down my neck, pressing his weight on me. The escalation alarms me.
"Kier," I pant, my lungs looking for air.
His hands slide up my thighs, pulling them apart. His warm fingers find my sensitive place, which makes me panic at the new sensation he gives me.
"Kier!" I shout.
He pushes himself off of me just as fast. I sit upright on the bed, winded somehow. I look over to Kier, who is pacing around the room like an animal in a cage. He seems to be mentally beating himself up. His hands are rolled in fists and he's cursing under his breath. I'm not sure what to do or say. I'm still trying to recover my spinning head. This isn't helping.
"I-it's okay," I stammer.
He doesn't look at me, "I'm sorry."
I sigh, brushing my messy hair away from my face. No matter what, I know this is something I have to get used to.
"Let's try again," I say lowly, feeling my face burn up.
I watch him shake his head, "No."
"Why not?" I ask.
His eyes gaze into mine.
"I don't want to hurt you," he says.
I pause and notice the tiny droplets of sweat residing on his temples.
"I know you'd never do that," I tell him. He looks away, clenching his jaw again in frustration. I scoot off the bed and step in front of him. "You can kiss me."
"I want to do more," he says softly.
He then shut his eyes, scolding himself for saying it out loud. My heart pounds painfully. I drop my eyes to the floor, mortified at the image infiltrating my mind.
"Kier," I murmur.
He sighs, "Forget what I said."
He turns away and exits through the door.