Oracles

“You’re really impulsive.”
I hear Kier’s deep voice. I struggle to open my eyes. When I do, all I see is white lights. I open my mouth to make sounds, but I can only sigh.
“I blacked out?” I ask dazedly.
“Yeah,” his voice cracks.
I blink and turn my head in the cushiony pillow. I realize I’m in the clinic. I try to sit up. Thankfully, Kier doesn’t try to stop me.
“I’m sorry,” is all I can think to say to him.
“Don’t be,” he reassures me.
I stare at him. His messy hair is tied away. New stubble sprouts from his chin. He sits next to me.
“You seem a little too calm,” I tell him.
He only shrugs. His back hunches over with weakness, not as straight and overbearing like I’m used to.
“How long have I been out?” I ask.
“Only the night,” he answers.
“Were you up,” I ask him, “All night?”
He only peers in my eyes.
“What did Josephine say?” I ask, his silence getting the best of me.
“She’s agreed to lay off,” he shrugs, “Whatever you did made the President think highly of you. He agreed to share their confidentials with us. So, no more secrets.”
“That’s a relief,” I rub my eyes.
“Not exactly,” Kier mentions.
I look over to him, wondering what he’s thinking. But all he does is stare at me.
“What?” I ask, uneasily.
“I feel like we might still have some secrets,” he says.
I let the silence fall too long. I swallow the cement down my throat.
“W-what do you mean?”
My chest aches with nervousness. His deep green eyes shut me down completely. I can barely breathe under his stare. I wish I could disappear. I’m not ready to talk to him about us. I don’t even want to call it ‘us’.
“We need to make a decision, a real one,” he says.
“I…” I tear my eyes away from his deep gaze, “Not now.”
“The longer we wait, the harder it’ll get,” he warns.
His low voice rings in my head endlessly.
Kier stands up, grabbing my things. He drapes my coat around my shoulders. I push my arms through the sleeves, watching him push back his chair. His shoulders are so broad. I can’t help but stare at the nape of his neck and how the little curly hairs stick with sweat.
“Lets go,” he breathes out.
I slide off the hospital bed and slowly follow behind him. I’m falling to pieces.
Kier walks ahead, pushing past the sliding doors. His steps are steady and slow. His shoulders waver from side to side. The thin grey knit he wears clinches onto his harsh angles. The white lights overhead fade the tan in his skin away. I watch him hide away his fists in his pockets once we exit the hospital. I do everything I can to not fall over myself. The distance we’ve made is aching. I curl my fingers behind me before they reach for Kier. He occasionally glances behind him to make sure I’m still living. But I focus to look at the snow drizzling. I’d hate myself, if I fell into his gaze.

We reach back to our place in one peace, remaining in complete silence. I appreciate that he’s waited this long for me. I don’t think he deserves my silence any longer. I take a deep breath.
“It started when I was sent to the big city in Polaris. I was forced to go,” I speak up.
Kier turns around. I decide to tell him everything. Isa, Mrs. Peterson, the maids, the King, the bombing, and Prance. Everything.
Thankfully, he listened. I struggle with explaining the sudden proposal. I tell him that in my mind, it all made sense. I tell him how I thought that perhaps it was my chance to help my kind, but then soon realized that I was still being trapped, just with a shinier cage. His deep green eyes stare at me. I can tell he’s thinking.
“That’s everything. That’s how I even ended up here,” I sigh.
“Did you love him?” he asks, rubbing his cheek.
I frown, “What?”
“The Prince. Did you love him?”
I shake my head, “No.”
“How were you sure your motives weren’t because you loved him?” he asks.
I take a second to wonder what he’s thinking.
“That was the only thing I was sure of,” I answer.
He intensely stares back at me, sceptic.
“He kissed me,” I quickly add. Kier’s brows lower, darkening his green globes. I raise my voice. “That’s how I knew for sure I wasn’t in love with him. I never believed in love. It’s just a misused word to make people disregard their senseless actions. If love is a true thing, then I shouldn’t depend on it or its source. That’s why I never wanted to find my match… you—because I didn’t want the Cygnus dangling it in my face, luring me into their trap.”
I watch Kier fold his arms, “He kissed you?”
That’s all he got out of what I said? I give him a frustrated look and fold my arms just the same.
“Kier, you’re not listening—”
“I heard you,” he cuts me off, “You just said you regret us meeting.”
“I didn’t say that!” I defend.
I try to get another word in, but he refuses to let me by speaking louder.
“Don’t you depend on me? Don’t I depend on you? Can we help it if we need each other to survive? I’m sorry for ruining your life. I didn’t know that being your match was such a burden to you,” Kier says angrily.
It’s like his anger infuses within me. I throw a dozen punches at his chest, screeching a groan out my throat. He swiftly grabs a hold of my wrists.
“Yeah, but then you had to kiss me, didn’t you?!” I yell back, “You had to protect me, and look after me, and hold me, and—and turn my mind upside down!”
His gaze battles with me. I try to push my arms against his grip, but they get nowhere.
“So this is my fault? What about you?! You stormed right into my life, arguing and challenging me, and reading me, a—and always doing that thing you always do!” he throws.
“What thing I always do?” I argue, impatiently.
“The thing that makes me want to kiss you all the goddamn time!” he shouts.
I open my mouth but nothing comes up.
Kier caresses my face in his hands, pulling me towards him. He crashes his lips on mine. The anger turns into something else. I can’t get enough of it. He wraps his arms around me, making me tremor in them. I’ll die if he lets me go. I place my hands on his burning skin. He lifts my legs, lodging us above the bed. I already have trouble breathing right. The feeling he gives me is more than I thought it would be. My need for him is stronger than my will.
I feel Kier’s firm hands explore every part of me. Though part of me is scared. He tugs the hem of my tank top over me. I softly bite down on his tender lip. His hand yanks my shorts down my legs. I press my fingerprints in the nape of his neck. His palms graze my bare chest. My knees nest around his waist. The violent rush sedates to a calm and steady stream.
Kier fixes his eyes on me, flooding all thoughts out of my mind. No distance is between us. Every inch of me is with every inch of him.
“Sage,” he gently whispers on the tip of my lips, “I need you now.”
I slowly nod and close my eyes.