I'll Make You See It Was All Real

Lucy’s Pov

“He told you that” I whisper. Josh told him. Josh told him. Why? Why is he doing this to me? I think. “I don’t care what he said Nathan. He’s not thinking straight after Tina’s death. He hates me. He hates Cris. It’s all lies” I say trying to get my head around what I’m hearing.
I felt good. I actually felt good for once. I know I scared Cris last night. The fear in his eyes. It was fear for me. Me and the baby.

“Nathan if you print that story I’ll tell Josh you slept with Tina” I say staking a seat on the couch and I hear Nathan’s breathe hitch. I knew that would get his attention. I can’t believe he would think about printing a story about me. A story about someone who is meant to be his friend instead of asking me about it in the first place.

“I doubt he’ll still be your friend or get over the fact you were almost 19 when you slept with her” I say. And I can only hear his breathing on the other end of the phone. “You’ve gone a little quiet there Nathan. Let me guess you’re working out the math. Now I know your brother got the looks and most of the brains but even you would be able to work out the age gap when you were 19 given the almost 5 year age gap between us all” I say. “You wouldn’t” he eventually says.

“Just try me Nathan. I so much as see anything about those lies then I’ll tell him and then sue your ass” I say feeling a pain in my head rising. “Ok I won’t. I won’t print the story” he says. “Thank you” I say. “Luce I’m not the only journalist in the world. People are going to want to print the story. True or not” Nathan says. “I know I can’t get away from them. But Nathan” I say. “You break your promise and- You’ll get my brother to kick my ass” Nathan finishes.

“Oh I would never do that. I’d just get all your little secrets’ from him instead and then tell everyone” I say. “He’s in Texas by the way” Nathan says.
“I know. He emailed me. You must love it. Your Mama’s fave boy since Ethan won’t listen to your mother and wear a suit and find a proper job” I say knowing all the conversations both men had with their mother over the years. “I’m sorry about all this Luce. It’s just when Josh told me, I figured it was true. But if you say Ronaldo didn’t cheat on you then I feel even more sorry” Nathan says and I keep my eyes on the floor. Did he cheat? Did he not? This is all fucked up I think.

“Ya well just ignore what Josh has to say from now on. Especially if it’s something to do me. And why don’t you just ask me instead of going behind my back and speak to the agent” I say hanging up. As soon as the call has ended I stand from the couch. “Don’t” I say to Cris. I am not listening to any more from him. I can’t listen to him telling me he’s sorry. That it was all a lie. A lie yet that bitch was still in his house. He can’t explain that to me. How can I ever believe him?

“Wait. Are you not going to explain what that was all about?” Jorge asks. “What is there to explain? About from the fact Josh decided my life isn’t fucked up enough. He wanted to make sure the world had a nice story to read also” she says. “Oh Luce” Cris says and I struggle to stop the tears in my eyes. He actually did that to me. “What about the story in September?” Jorge asks. It all seems so pointless now I think. “It didn’t seem fair for Cristiano to be made out the bad guy when he hadn’t done anything wrong. Then” I snap. “Luce” he says. “I’m going upstairs. I’ll see you after your match. If then” I mumble walking out of the room.

“I’ll kill him” Elena says as I lay on Cristiano’s bed with the phone on loud speak. “Get in line” I say. “Oh Luce I’m so sorry. I can’t believe he did that” she says. “Neither can I. Like I couldn’t cope reading it in the papers” I say trying not to cry. “Oh sweetie” she says. “People making money from my misery. And Nathan didn’t even think about calling me to check if it was true. Like how can people just write lies and think they would be able to get away with it” I say.

“So you think it’s a lie?” she asks. “Elena now is not the time” I snap. “Sorry” she says and I sigh. “I don’t know what to think” I say honestly. “You’re head has been confused for a good few months” she says. “Since September if you want an honest answer” I sigh. “They say the good ones get under your skin, confuse you head and into your heart” Elena says. “I keep thinking that maybe….” I pause. “Maybe there could be something again” she says. “But then something happens. The memory of Merche. The pain of seeing her. And thinking about his lies. Then he’s still my sweet caring thoughtful Cris” I say laying my hand on my bump.

“He was worried. After last night” she says. “He told you” I say. “I phoned your office and they said you hadn’t come in. And you weren’t answering your phone so I went to your place. He was picking you up some things” she says. “I…I don’t know what happened last night” I say. “I’m here if you want to talk but don’t let what just happened push Cris away” she says. “I don’t really know what we are meant to say to each other after this” I say.

I spent the next day with Dolores and Elma at Dolore's chemo session. I hadn't spoken to Cris since i had left him and Jorge in the living room. I didn't know what to say. He had phoned Elena before his match but when she asked if I wanted to talk to him I shook my head. I still hadn’t figured out what or how I was going to talk to him.

We had been so good before yesterday I thought as I looked at the clock on the bedside table. 1.30 it read. I looked at Marcosa who laid on Cristiano’s side of the bed. He should have been back from his match hours ago I think. “Guess he found something else to do then come back to me” I whisper to Marcosa. I decide that since sleep is beyond me again for the night, that I should go get a snack. Apparently my appetite is getting better I think remembering Nuno’s jokes about me when I licked the plate clean at dinner.

As I head to the stairs, I see the door next to Nuno’s room open and a low light. I peek my head in to the room and Cris flicks his eyes away from the TV. “Hi” he says. “What are you doing in here?” I ask as he switches on the lamp beside him. “I thought you…I didn’t think you wanted me to….I was giving you some space” he says. “Oh” I say. “What are you doing up?” he asks. “I was going downstairs for a snack” I say. “Why aren’t you asleep? You were out cold when I came home” he says. “You checked in on me” I say. “Of course” he sighs. “I couldn’t sleep. I woke up and I….” I pause. “Why don’t I make you a snack” he says throwing the covers back. “No” I say and he frowns.

“I was only looking for something to do. I woke up and you weren’t…” I pause. “You’d be more comfy in bed the standing at the door” he says. “Ya I should let you watch your tv” I say turning. “Lucy” he says and I turn back to him. “I meant that you’d be more comfy in this bed” he says. “Oh” I say closing the door and I slowly walk to the opposite side of where he laid. “So how was your day?” he asks. “Dolores’s hospital visit went well. Well as well as it can” I say. “Was she ok?” he asks. “She was tired after but I think she’s ok. She’s focusing on when she’s better” I say.

“Luce” he says. “Don’t” I say staring up to the ceiling. “Don’t what?” he asks. “Don’t say you’re sorry about yesterday. It wasn’t you who told the papers” I say. “I can still be sorry for Josh. I know that it had to hurt” he says. “I really don’t want to think about it. About what the story was and how it could have been published” I say. “This whole thing is a mess” he sighs. “One big huge mess” I say. “And for that I am truly sorry. You don’t deserve all of this. I don’t deserve you to even be near me” he says.

“I’m packing up Tina’s stuff tomorrow” I say. “You are?” he asks surprised. “Yes. It’s time” I say. “But” he says. “I need to do it tomorrow. I know I scared you the other night. And I am sorry. But to get my head at least some bit sane then I need to do this” I say. “Ok” he says and I had expected him to say more. “Ok” I say. “What about Josh?” he asks. “I…It’s his own fault” I say. “I’m sure he will regret telling your journalist friend” he says. “I really don’t care anymore” I say. “Yes you do. You’re just angry and sad” he says.

“I’m pissed. How could he do that? Who thinks about selling stories on their friends?” I say. “He isn’t thinking. He isn’t acting like the Josh you know. But at least you stopped the story” he says. “Well we wouldn’t want anything to damage your reputation now would we” I snap. “I told give a shit about what people think about me Lucy. I didn’t want that story to be printed because it would hurt you” he says. “Well it’s not been printed anymore” I say.

“So” he says. “So what Cris” I say. “Why did you tell your paper friend about the incident in September? Why make me look good?” he asks. “Like I said you hadn’t done anything wrong. Nuno mentioned something about the press and I guess I felt bad for you. Plus I thought Nathan could control the story about Tina better if he knew more” I say. “He’s Ethan’s brother right” he says. “Yup” I say. “It’s nice that you are still friendly with him” Cris says. “We don’t talk that often but he did promise to smack Nathan on the back of the head when he gets back to England” I say. “I meant Nathan” he says. “Oh well he was always more friendly with Josh” I say. “And Tina” he says. “Ya. She was practically proud about him and her” I smile remembering those times.

“So you were talking to Ethan?” Cris asks. “Huh” I say. “You said Ethan was going to smack his brothers’ head” he says. “Nathan thought Ethan could calm me down” I say. “Did it?” he asks. “Not really. I wasn’t in the mood for talking about Tina and the past” I say. “Ok” he says and I yawn. “You should sleep. Especially if you are going to sort Tina’s stuff tomorrow” he says flicking off the light. “And If I’m going to argue with you about doing it” I say. “I’d rather you wait a couple of days but I understand why you need to do it” he says.

“Good” I say laying my head on his chest. He’s breathe hitches in surprise and he eventually wraps an arm around me. “Will you come?” I ask. “To yours tomorrow?” he asks. “Yes. I’d like you there” I say. “Of course I will” he says. “Noite” I say closing my eyes. “Good night Lucy” he whispers placing a kiss on my head.