If You Built Yourself a Myth

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own anything, just a fan of the show.

There was a tension in the town of Jupiter that had not been there before, because of a spate of murders by an unknown killer. There were also two people missing, one a young lady with a sweetheart that had been the first murder victim and the other a boy whose parents had been the next two murder victims. A curfew had been set in place, so all the townsfolk had to be in their homes by 8pm sharp. Marissa kept to the curfew, because if was for her own safety and she usually followed the rules. Besides, even if she had been foolhardy enough not to care about the psychopath that was brutally killing innocent townsfolk and still went out after curfew, she could be arrested. The police were being very strict on enforcing the curfew. Andrew also called her every night to check that she was safely in her house. Which was sweet of him, but Marissa had not liked it when she had been told off by him on one occasion when she had been too busy to pick up his call. Sometimes he treated her like a child, as if she was incapable of making decisions without his guidance.

Marissa still longed to visit the show, especially because it was her best chance to see Jimmy again. However, just when she found the perfect evening to attend the show since Andrew was out of town on business, the curfew had been put in place and so the show had been cancelled. She knew the show would have to remain cancelled until the curfew was lifted. Marissa was very disappointed that her visit to see the show would be delayed but she was also worried about how Jimmy and his fellow performers would manage to get by without the money from the ticket sales. From what she had heard around town, even when the regular evening show had been available ticket sales had been poor. Many of the townsfolk were prejudiced against the performers because of their uniqueness compared to regular people. And these recent horrible murders made the prejudice worse. A lot of people were convinced the mysterious murderer was a ‘freak’, as the performers were rudely called by the majority of the townsfolk. Marissa did not want to believe that, but she could not be completely sure. After all, she had never met the others and even if she had she would not know if one of them was a killer. Yet it could just as easily have been one of the townsfolk or a drifter from out of town that had done the murders.

“Did you hear there was a fight in the diner?”

Marissa was drawn out of her thoughts at work in the library by Mrs Morris, a gossipy old widow who had a tight hold on a recipe book. “What happened?”

“Well, some of those freaks came down to the diner and rightly enough they were refused service. They would not leave, if you can believe that. Then another freak came in, but I heard he’s normal enough compared to the other freaks. He’s a strongman. Anyway, he made the freaks leave. Before that happened, he punched one of the freaks, one with deformed hands. He gave him a black eye. Serves him right, since I also heard he was the one who brought the other freaks into the diner,” Mrs Morris related in a grim tone, although her eyes were alight with satisfaction at relaying news to another person. “I heard everything straight from Mrs Jackson, who was in the diner at the time with her little girl. Now, you know I’m not one to judge, but they are bad. All of them. I was hoping that they would be driven out of town since they can’t do their shows, but apparently they found a way around that. Offering matinee shows. Well, I certainly won’t be going, that’s for sure.”

“They wouldn’t want you there anyway, I’m sure,” Marissa replied sharply. “Now do you need help with something? I’m busy alphabetising this section of books.”

Mrs Morris appeared taken aback and then a scowl took over her face. “Marissa Winters, what has gotten into you? I’ve known you since you were a little girl and not once have you disrespected me like this. I won’t stand for it!” She exclaimed angrily. “I demand that you apologize to me this instant or I’ll have to make a formal complaint to Mrs Danvers about your rudeness.”

Marissa paled. “Oh no, don’t do that please. I...I am sorry. Truly sorry. I’ve been under some stress lately and I took it out on you but it was really wrong of me. I’ll bake you something nice as an apology. Some of those brownies you liked at my mother’s last house party. How does that sound, Mrs Morris?”

“Brownies and an apple pie too,” Mrs Morris demanded after a short pause. “I have to check out my book now.”

Marissa sighed as she watched Mrs Morris depart from her view. Normally she would have kept calm, not given in to the urge to retort rudely. She did not know what had come over her. She was angry and upset with how the performers had been treated in the diner and how Jimmy had been hurt by another performer. Of course, just because they worked and lived together, it did not mean everyone had to be friends. Yet surely there had to a bond between them. And of course Jimmy could take care of himself. Yet that did not stop Marissa from feeling bad for Jimmy and disliking the man who had hit him. She knew she should not be getting so involved with it all however it was difficult for her not to.

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Finally Marissa was able to see the show. She had caught a lift with a friend, and they had been late. It was crowded in the big top, so they had sat down at the back. Marissa had loved the show, and she was pleasantly surprised that so many of the townsfolk appeared to be enjoying the show too. After the show ended the audience started to disperse, but Marissa walked in the opposite direction to them. They were headed to the exit while she was walking closer to the caravans and other tents surrounding the big top.

“So did you like the show?”

Marissa turned around and saw Jimmy, the exact person she had been looking for. “Yes, it was amazing. My friend and I had a really good time...” Marissa glanced past Jimmy to where her friend Jane was standing waiting for her, looking uncomfortable and with her arms crossed. “She’s a bit shy...”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve seen her before,” Jimmy seemed amused as he waved at her friend, who pretended not to notice and looked in the other direction.

“Around town or at one of your shows?” Marissa asked, curious as to how they knew each other.

Jimmy shrugged, smirking at her friend’s action of avoiding him. “Just a party. A private show, I guess you could call it.”

Marissa wondered what exactly had gone on between her friend and Jimmy but decided it was probably better that she did not know. “Okay. Well I just wanted to give you this, and then I’m going to go,” She handed him a basket covered with a red and white plaid cloth. “It’s for everyone to share.”

“What’s inside?” Jimmy pulled back the cloth. “Oh, cookies. Nice...” He grinned as he took out a cookie and bit into it. “Unless you poisoned them,” His smile faded away and he became solemn all of a sudden.

“What?” Marissa was shocked by his accusation. “No, of course not. Just sugar cookies with a little icing, that’s all...” And then it dawned on her that he was teasing her and she laughed softly. “Oh, you’re joking...”

Jimmy laughed too. “Want to come and meet the others?”

“I...” Marissa hesitated. “I’d like to, but I can’t. I think Jane is ready to leave, and she’s giving me a lift back to town.”

“So tell her to go,” He shrugged, giving her a winning smile. “I can give you a ride back later on my bike...”

“Well...” Marissa knew it was not a good idea. She already felt guilty enough for coming to the show in the first place and breaking her promise to Andrew. Yet she wanted to spend more time with Jimmy. And it was not like she was cheating on Andrew. She barely knew Jimmy. He was not even a friend, but it would be good if she could be friends with him. That should be all she could expect from him. The attraction she felt towards Jimmy was harmless, like a silly schoolgirl crush and surely it would fade over time. Besides, it was not as if she was going to be alone with Jimmy, she was going to be around his friends. However, she knew she was just trying to find a way to justify her actions. She knew she should not stay but she had already done something wrong and she felt like she would regret it if she left. “Alright. I’ll just go and tell her I’m not coming with her.”

When Marissa walked back over to Jane, her friend frowned at her. “Are you ready to leave now?” Jane was a pretty brunette who had become a housewife at the age of nineteen, and now at the age of twenty three she had two children. Jane was only four years older than Marissa. “I have to get back home.”

Sometimes it scared Marissa to think that if everything went well with Andrew, she would be in the same position as Jane one day. It was not that she disliked the idea of being a housewife or a mother, but she knew with certainty that Andrew would become more controlling than he already was. ”You can go without me. I’m getting another lift back into town.”

“With who?” Jane demanded to know. “Not one of the freaks?”

“Jane, they’re not freaks,” Marissa sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew Jimmy?”

Jane’s green eyes widened for a few moments and she visibly tensed up. Then she shook her head slowly. “Why would I associate with a freak? I don’t know him at all. He must have me confused with someone else,” She smiled, although it seemed strained. Then she hugged Marissa. “I don’t like this, but I can’t tell you what to do. Just promise to call me later so I know you got home safely.”

Marissa returned the hug, knowing her friend was lying to her and again wondering what had happened between Jane and Jimmy. “I will, Jane. Goodbye.”

The first people Jimmy introduced her to was the tall lady, Amazon Eve and the doll like Ma Petite. Eve was sitting at the piano, and her best friend Ma Petite was sitting on top of the piano. Eve took a cookie and split it into half, then split one of the halves into a quarter before she handed the quarter to Ma Petite, eating the rest of the cookie herself. Ma Petite had to carefully balance her diet and could only eat small meals because of her tiny stature and she had eaten amply at lunch time.

“It’s very sweet and tasty,” Ma Petite sounded happy as she ate her portion of the cookie.

“It sure is,” Eve agreed, smiling fondly at Ma Petite. “Ma Petite is going to help me rehearse the song for tomorrow’s show, when the twins arrive. Before that, there’s time to just play anything we like...”

“Marissa, why don’t you pick something for Eve to play?” Jimmy suggested, nudging her with his elbow.

“I’m not very good, but there is a duet I learned with my mother. She was a talented pianist...” Marissa replied. “Can we try playing the duet, Eve?”

“You don’t have to ask. Come and sit down, sweetie,” Eve replied, shifting on the piano stool so there was space for Marissa to sit beside her. “You play a bit, and I’ll see if I know it too.”

Marissa sat down and played the first few notes. It had been a long time since she had last played, but it all came rushing back as she continued to play, and Eve joined in. Marissa allowed the music to wash over her, and for a few moments she could see in her mind an image of her as a young girl sitting next to her mother at the piano, playing that very same duet. When the duet was over, Jimmy and Ma Petite both clapped energetically.

“Who are you?” The twins had arrived and it was Dot who had spoken, staring at Marissa mistrustfully. Bette appeared to be wary of her too, but her expression was not hostile like her sister.

“I’m Marissa, and you must be Dot. Pleased to meet you. Bette, I’m also pleased to meet you too,” Marissa smiled at the twins, although Dot’s hard piercing stare unnerved her somewhat. “Would you like a cookie? I just made them fresh today.”

Bette’s eyes lit up at the mention of cookies, and a small smile graced her lips. “Oh, I like cookies, but not ones with raisins...”

“It doesn’t matter if they have raisins or not,” Dot harshly snapped. “You’re not having one, and neither am I.” She unfairly decided on behalf of them both.

Bette’s face fell. “Dot, please...”

Jimmy stepped forward and held out the basket to the twins, giving them a playful smile. “No raisins, and they taste really good. I had a few myself...”

“I don’t care, I don’t want any...” Dot replied coldly, but her face softened as she gazed at Jimmy and then she sighed heavily before looking at her twin. “Alright, Bette. You can have one cookie. Just one.” She frowned at Marissa. “What are you doing here anyway?” Dot asked, as her sister bit into the cookie and smiled dreamily.

“Hey, Dot. Come on, she’s my guest. Be nice to her, alright?” Jimmy coaxed gently.

“I’m not being rude. I just wanted to know why she was here, that’s all. Besides, I am nice. I’m nice to little Miss Blondie and that takes some effort,” Dot retorted.

Bette gave her sister a reproachful look. “Well I like her. And you know she doesn’t like it when you call her that, Dot...”

Dot raised her eyes heavenward. “I know that, Bette. That’s the whole point. ”

“It’s mean, Dot,” Bette admonished her.

Then the twins looked at each other silently, their expressions changing and it looked like they were having a private conversation through their thoughts. Eve set up some sheet music and accompanied the twins as they began their singing rehearsal.

“I don’t know where Paul and Suzy are, they should be around here somewhere...” Jimmy looked thoughtful. “I bet my Ma is in her caravan...”

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” A beautiful young woman with brown eyes and fair hair had appeared. She looked at Marissa inquisitively. “A friend of yours, Jimmy?”

“Yeah, you could say that,” Jimmy replied, and Marissa noticed that he stood up a little straighter. He seemed different now that she had arrived. He was gazing at her with a carefully guarded admiration. “Marissa, meet Madame Esmerelda, our beautiful fortune teller.”

Dot’s expression changed to a sour one upon Jimmy’s description of Esmerelda, and it was clear Esmerelda was the one Dot had referred to as Miss Blondie. The twins appeared to like Jimmy, Dot especially and now that Marissa had seen Esmerelda she could understand why Dot felt the way she did toward Esmerelda. It was very irrational and stupid but Marissa was already beginning to feel the same way. Yet at the same time she liked Esmerelda in much the same way as she liked Eve and Ma Petite. Although it would be harder for Marissa to be friends with Esmerelda than with the others. And it was none of her business who Jimmy liked. Marissa had Andrew, and Jimmy was free to be with anyone he wanted to but she still was not keen on the idea of seeing him with someone else. It was selfish, and she felt horrible but she hoped that Esmerelda did not like Jimmy as more than a friend.

“It’s nice to meet you, Esmerelda,” Marissa shook hands with Esmerelda and managed to smile although she did not feel like smiling. “I didn’t see your name on the flyer...”

“That’s because I just joined the show. Would you like me to give you a palm reading?” Esmerelda asked, giving her a cordial smile in return.

“Another time maybe,” Jimmy replied. “I gotta take her back home before curfew. I don’t want to give those cops another reason to make trouble for us,” He gave the basket to Esmerelda and smiled at her affectionately. “Have some, share it with the others. I’ll see you later...”

“Alright,” Esmerelda replied, seeming thoughtful as she watched Jimmy leave with Marissa after they had said goodbye to everyone.

Marissa was nervous about getting on the motorbike, since she had never ridden on one before, but she felt calmer once she was sat behind Jimmy, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Because she felt safe with Jimmy, and the speed of the motorbike turned out to be exciting rather than frightening. For a short time she was even able to forget about Andrew and Esmerelda. It was just her and Jimmy, and she imagined eloping with Jimmy, him driving her out of Jupiter and somewhere far away to start a new life together. When Jimmy slowed down as they approached her street, she had to come back to reality. What she had imagined was a selfish fantasy. Jimmy had ties to the show, his mother, and his friends who were like a family and of course Esmerelda. Marissa was a small town girl, and always would be. She had her mother, Andrew, friends and her librarian job and that was what she needed to focus on. Not Jimmy. She hated getting off the bike, finding it hard to let go of Jimmy and so she did it slowly. After they exchanged goodbyes Marissa stood staring after his bike as he drove it off into the distance until it disappeared from her view.

Thanks for reading :)