Human

The anxiety eating at his bones was crippling. He wanted to tear the ache in his chest out, letting the numbness swallow him. Every second when she wasn't next to him made his hell seem more real. Made his heart burn with a passion he thought he was incapable of feeling. He wanted to show her the feelings in his chest, he wanted to show her what she did to him.

Lonliness was his best friend. Despite the constant beat of music, the adrenaline of deals. He was surrounded but lost. She held onto his sanity. Her heart didn't belong to him. He ached to hold her again. She had been absent from his presence far too long.

He hated the position she was thrown in. He hated that his darkest secret couldn't be told to her or she would run.

Run and leave him to crumble farther into his self hated anger.

Run and never look back.

Run

run from him and never forgive him.

She held him ransom.

She was his haven.

His thoughts were hell torturing him.

If she found out his words would escape him and he'd never be able to explain the demon that held him hostage.

If she found out he would never again be able to breathe. She hated everything about people like him and she didn't know what he was. Her innocence was gone. No one she knew was truthful and he hated the secrets he kept from her. He wanted to let them spill out of his tied up lips but he knew every word would be a dagger in her pierced heart.

He was tortured with the burning of his thoughts.

He wanted to hold her close in his tattooed arms and never let her go.

But in the deepest part of his heart he knew she would never love him.

Never love someone as mentally compromised as him.

Never.