Alex Anonymous

"Does this mean we can't have Group anymore?" Zack asked from behind the pillow he had hugged to his chest.

Behind him Rian rolled his eyes but didn't offer a reply, leaving that responsibility to Jack who was nestled into their side.

Contrary to their prior intentions of watching football and eating pizza at Rian's apartment, they found themselves settled in at Jack's house with a half eaten tray of Philly cheese steaks while Up played on the massive flat screen across from them. The movie was Jack's choice while the change of venue was a result of Rian deciding he didn't want to see his place that night.

In seven hours they'd yet to move from the comfort of Jack's large sectional couch. Football games and Disney movies kept Jack entertained while Zack napped on and off, continuously shifting to be closer to his human pillow who'd occasionally bar his arms around him and demand a stop to the incessant movement. More often than not Rian's focus had been on top of Zack's head where he'd sat his cell phone. Each buzz of the device prompted a ten minute staring match before he'd take a deep breath and tap out a message that was always replied to in a much more timely fashion.

It was what he was doing when Jack checked to see why he wasn't answering Zack's question. His eyes were glassy with unshed tears but he offered a half smile when he caught Jack looking up at him.

"Answer the kid before he's unconscious again," Rian muttered, his voice just south of "fine," which was the word he used to describe his mental state whenever Jack or Zack inquired.

"Or before he makes some ridiculous speech for all of us," Jack semi-playfully quipped.

"I'm sorry." Zack rolled over so Jack could not only hear him pout but also see for himself how truly apologetic he was. "I really thought you guys knew. Please forgive me?"

"Zack," Rian cut in, pulling Zack back in his direction. "Go get your phone, someone's calling you."

"Wonder if it's my mom," Zack thought as he climbed off the couch, at the sound of Jack laughing at him he turned around to whine some more. "She just likes to check in on me, she worries and stuff."

"Right, I completely understand, she's worried about her twenty seven year old son. Gotta make sure you're changing your underwear."

Zack's face scrunched up before he left the room with a perturbed question of, "who isn't changing their underwear?"

Jack used Zack being gone as the perfect opportunity to snuggle in closer to Rian and wrap a strong arm around him. From his new angle he could see perfectly what Rian was doing on his phone, although it wasn't anything he hadn't already known. The device buzzed again and Jack winced at the critical words the new message contained. They weren't mean, but they were soaked in that special brand of sadness that made everything sting a little more.

"I told her I needed some time to clear my head a few months ago," Rian sadly explained, his eyes never leaving the glowing words in front of him. On closer inspection Jack found that they were trained on the contact picture more than anything else. "But that was a lie, I just needed out, I thought she felt like that too. I thought she could tell that I wasn't into the relationship anymore and things weren't the same, but she couldn't. So today when I told her I wanted to end things for good, she was devastated. She just keeps asking what she can do to make me stay, and it just... it kills me to keep telling her I don't love her when all I want is to see her happy."

"That's because you're a great guy, Rian. I'd probably beg you to stay with me too," Jack teased, hoping to bring a smile to Rian's face and continuing when he did. "I'd make a big petition and get a thousand signatures; I'd throw you a Please Come Home parade that led to my doorstep. There'd be sky writers and fireworks and cakes with your face on 'em, the whole thing would be a disgusting train wreck of love."

"At least the parade didn't lead to your bed," Rian mumbled in reply.

"C'mon now, baby, I assume if you left me then we must be waiting like Zack, because there's no way you'd leave if I ever fucked you. Wouldn't even be able to walk properly, I guarantee you that."

"I'd never bottom for you, Barakat, there's a size limit."

"And I would exceed it by ten inches but we can work on that, baby, you'd be begging for it in no time."

"That's not what Alex said."

"That's cuz Alex blacked out from pleasure every time I made love to him, obvi-" Jack cut himself off when he heard the front door open. He raised an eyebrow at Rian and then called out to a certain shy boy who was attempting to use his borderline invisibility to sneak out unannounced. "Your mom has to physically check your underwear or..."

"Late night booty call," Rian guessed. "You know how Zack is, dicks to suck, bitches to fuck."

"Hey! That's my credo your stea-" Jack cut himself off for a second time as he caught Zack trying to slip out unnoticed again. "Zack, mommy and daddy are trying to decide if you're allowed to go out so close the door and drag your ass in here."

"I just don't want him out after eight, you know the hoodlums that are on the street at this time of night," Rian added in a motherly tone that made Jack smirk.

"The fact that you immediately took the mother role totally cements that you'd bottom, so suck it."

Rian opened his mouth to make some sort of argument but Jack silenced it by way of pressing a finger to his lips immediately after he finished speaking.

"Not in front of the kids, baby doll."

A few grumbled insults later they were both staring expectantly at a fidgeting Zack. His interest in zipping and unzipping his hoodie seemed to outweigh his desire to talk to them by leaps and bounds. Unfortunately for him, Jack and Rian now knew him well enough to pick up on the subtle hints that meant something was wrong. Maybe last year they would have wrote it off as Zack being his usual odd self but after the last ten months, everything from the way he wasn't blushing to how his shoulders were hunched was a clear indication that something was wrong.

"Zack," Rian patiently sighed. "If something's bothering you, tell us and we'll help you out with it."

"Yeah, Group rules are in effect. If you didn't change your underwear and you need to borrow a pair from Rian to make your mom happy, we won't even laugh or be disgusted."

There were a few seconds of uncomfortable silence filled with Zack visibly struggling to come up with a lie. His cheeks turned a darker shade of pink the longer they went without speaking so Rian did him the favor of restarting the conversation. It was a tactic they'd employed in similar situations many times before and it worked again tonight.

"Did something happen on the phone? Is that why you tried to sneak out?"

"Group rules for real," Zack demanded with a warning look that he aimed directly at Jack. "Don't be mean to me anymore."

"He won't," Rian promised. "Now tell us what's up."

"It's just," Zack started, rubbing at the back of his neck as he finally turned his usual shade of pink. His gaze flicked up to them once but he diverted it back to the ground after a few seconds of uncomfortable staring. After mumbling something to himself he lifted his eyes to look at them one last time and that single defeated glance was all Jack needed to see to stop him before he could begin.

"Come see me, Zachary. Take off your shoes first, I'm feeling nap-ish."

"I have to, uh..." Zack stalled as he tried to think of a believable lie. "My, um, my mom wanted me to, uh, to check the stove, see if she left it on?"

"Bro," Rian chuckled, shoving Jack further away from him to make room for Zack. It took him a little longer than Jack but after the terrible attempt at a cover story, he too realized who had called. "Get over here and let me hold you, I'm much better at it than Alex, promise."

"But-"

"Zack, listen to mama Rian-"

"Too far, dude, just way too far," Rian cut in with a disgusted grimace that Jack promptly shrugged off.

"Ya act like a mom, ya dress like a mom, you're a mo-, Zack, jesus fuck! I take my eyes off you for like two seconds and you try to escape? Really? Is our company that terrible?"

"I don't understand how I dress like a mom," Rian once again interrupted but Jack shut him up quickly by reaching behind him and squishing the drummer's face while he continued watching Zack who was halfway out the door.

"We're getting pizza and I need you here to tell me how many calories I'm ingesting per slice and how many I can cut out if I take off all the gross toppings."

Zack perked up at the mention of something health related, keeping one foot wedged in the door to keep it open, he leaned the rest of his body back inside.

"Well, it would depend on what you mean by gross toppings," he informed with the smallest hint of a smile. "If you pick off all the sausages and salami for instance, you'd be saving yourself a lot of saturated fat, plus you'd still have the pepperonis to tide you over if you feel like meat is a must have. People get too greedy with their pizzas these days, a regular combo wouldn't be that bad if it was just covered in vegetables, but when you start adding sausage and salami and mini pepperonis on top of your regular pepperoni, it's just too much."

By some miracle Jack managed not to laugh at Zack's genuine enthusiasm, but only because he needed to use that enthusiasm to get Zack out of the doorway. If it was any other situation he'd mock Zack for going through such great lengths to be exactly who the whole world thought he was. Tonight, however, it played into his favor so he let it slide.

"See, now I was gonna go three meat classic with stuffed crust and a side of hot wings."

"Oh, no, Jack... that's too much, you lead a sedentary lifestyle as is, and with the band breaking up, there’s no way you’re gonna burn off those calories anytime soon."

"No, Zack, it's okay," Rian reassured. "See because we smother every bite in ranch dressing, they put that stuff on salads. That has to make it healthier!"

"No, you shouldn't even be putting dressing on your salad! Get it on the side if anything!"

"Oh," Jack shared a guilty look with Rian, both of them nailing their parts flawlessly. Maintaining his role, he pulled his face into an innocent expression as he stared back over at Zack who now had the door fully closed. "I was gonna dunk my pizza in the ranch they give us and then grab a bowl of blue cheese dressing for the wings. Is that not good?"

Zack shook his head, horrified mumbles leaving him as he pulled off his shoes.

One lengthy lecture and informative question and answer session later, they were all settled back in their original positions. Rian was back to halfway crying as he frowned at his phone while Zack opted to pull down a throw blanket from the back of the couch and snuggle up under it. Jack meanwhile watched his movie quietly, perfectly content to miss every word due to loud snoring and the never ending tapping of Rian's fingers.

When the movie ended half an hour later, Jack plugged in Happy Feet and sunk back into his spot. The soft sound of rain falling outside combined with the warmth of the arm he forced Rian to wrap around his shoulders temporarily settled any of the lingering uneasiness or anger he'd felt earlier in the day. For a second time he got up, this time sleepily climbing the stairs to change into a set of pajama pants and grab his comforter. After going through his nightly routine, he headed back downstairs, turning off the living room lights on his way back to the couch.

Rian gratefully accepted the blanket handed to him and settled it over himself and the boy sleeping on his chest while Jack moved the ottoman to serve as the bottom part of their make shift bed. When he climbed in bed he found Zack whining loudly as Rian attempted to pull away the pillow clutched tight to the sleeping boy's chest. Each tug of the pillow earned a mumbled, "no, 's mine," from Zack.

"Always so possessive when he sleeps," Jack shook his head as he watched the struggle. He and Rian had mastered the art of getting Zack to sleep quietly a long time ago, but it was still amusing to Jack to annoy the usually even tempered guy.

"Yep," Rian sadly agreed. "Tell me when you're ready."

"You know you're doing the right thing," Jack said because he wasn't entirely sure Rian knew or believed that. "Stringing her along is easier but this is what's right, you have to know that and just hope one day she realizes that too."

"It's whatever," Rian sighed. "Let's just go to bed, it's been a long day."

Jack murmured his agreement and quickly rolled under Zack's arm as Rian yanked out the pillow. There was a momentary stop in the loud snoring, Zack whimpered helplessly, and then he felt a body next to him and it was right back to snoring. Rian laughed at the reaction the way he did every single time and then carefully rolled onto his side to ensure he wouldn't be grumbled at by a greedy Zack who demanded nothing short of all the cuddles he could possibly get.

"Love you, Jack."

"Don't have to say it when Zack's already asleep," Jack chuckled

"Yeah, well, I just love you so much that I can't contain it," Rian got back to his normal moody disposition and it put a smile on Jack's face as he stared up at his ceiling in the dark.

"Love you too, baby Dawson, thanks for helping out with the kiddo."

"Dude, seriously, let that one go," Rian groaned.

"Not as long as I know it creeps you out."

"Great."

A few minutes later Jack heard Rian's breathing drop off to steady deep breaths that signaled he'd drifted off. It had been a long day for Jack based on losing the band and dealing with Alex's dumb ass, factoring in breaking off a long term relationship and trying to make someone not hate him would have left him completely drained so he wasn't surprised to hear Rian fall asleep that quickly. It was a little disappointing because he'd grown to appreciate hearing all the things that could upset Rian over the course of a single day, but he didn't dwell on that too long. There were too many other things cluttering the space behind his forehead.

Issues like money and whether he'd need to get another job floated around in his brain but he didn't pay them much attention. He still had the bar and he could always sell a shirt or two to help with the mortgage. His finances would be fine and knowing that allowed him the time to focus on the more anxiety provoking things like Alex calling Zack or what would happen with his friends now that the band was over.

A small part of him thought everything would be fine and he'd always have Rian and Zack around to watch movies and talk pizza toppings with, but a larger part knew that wasn't true. Zack would most likely move to a coastal town in California or abandon the mainland all together and get a shack in Hawaii where he'd be more than content to forget about Jack and spend all his time surfing. Rian on the other hand would probably want to get away from his relationship problems and in doing so vanish into thin air. He'd most likely settle in a small town in a state that didn't matter where he'd get a job he didn't like and spend all his time complaining about it to his local friends while he did his best to erase every memory of his prior life, including those that involved Jack.

After a short ten months, Jack was going to lose the people he'd grown to depend on most and there didn't seem to be anything he could do about it. Furthermore Alex was evidently still intent on harassing them and there was nothing he could do about that either. He'd broken up the band, but thanks to Zack's surprise speech, he hadn't been able to slam the door for good.

The list of things he couldn't change ran laps in his head while he closed his eyes and tried to focus on the present. Zack's snoring, the feel of Rian's knuckles against his stomach, the increased tempo in the rain outside; he tried to take it all in and memorize every second of it. If he could just remember how each moment felt then maybe in some way he'd never lose anyone at all.

All his concentration was just starting to put him to sleep when his doorbell rang. A frown settled on his face as he reopened his eyes and stared at his ceiling, waiting to see if there'd be another ring. It took a few minutes to come but then the doorbell rang again and Jack was more confused.

"Maybe Rian really did order a pizza," he thought aloud as he attempted to get up. The process was made impossible due to Zack finally utilizing his strength and keeping his arm tightly wrapped around Jack's thin waist. He spent a another minute or so listening to Zack's whimpers intensify both in volume and desperation before he gave up and dropped his head back against his pillow.

Of course the moment he closed his eyes again, the doorbell went off for a third time.

"Jacky, no," Zack's eyes fluttered open as he felt Jack struggle to get up again, his face immediately fell to a frown as he lifted his sleepy head and stared down at Jack's annoyed face. In his tired daze he couldn't fully grasp why Jack was upset nor did he care, out of reflex he ducked down and kissed the first patch of skin his lips came in contact with before settling himself against Jack's chest again. "Stay with me, 'm sleepin'."

"Zacky," Jack mocked in the same whiny voice as Zack as he wiped off the wet kiss that was slobbered onto the bottom of his jaw. "Someone's at the door, you doofus. I need you to move your Hulk body off me so I can go get it."

"Love you too." Zack yawned quietly and then he was back asleep with his fingers curled tight into Jack's side to keep him in place.

The doorbell rang again, Jack groaned in unison with Rian who promptly ripped Zack away from Jack. While the pair traded gasps and mumbled complaints, Jack stumbled to his feet and across the room. An intense scowl covered his face the moment he opened the door and found none other than Alexander William Gaskarth shivering on his porch.

"Leave him alone," Jack breathed in a barely audible tone. "You've hurt him enough already so just stay away from him."

"No," Alex shook his head, not bothering to keep his voice anywhere near as quiet as Jack had. There was a determination in his words and stare that told Jack he wouldn't be convinced by words alone. "I'm not gonna lose you guys, Jack. You can do whatever you want but I'm not leaving until it's with you guys. So, go ahead and hit me, scream at me, ignore me, do whatever you want but I'll be here for as long as it takes. Nothing will change my mind."

"Yeah, no problem, dude, just sit tight for a second, okay? My friend wasn't feeling well so we decided to hit the hay early as you can see," Jack smiled politely before closing the door and looking into the living room. "Rian, can you take Zack up to my room and then meet me in the practice room? That guy that wanted to buy the guitars is here, I need your help to price 'em and stuff."

Rian's eyebrows crinkled for a second as his tired brain tried to piece together what message was encrypted in Jack's words. When Zack whined about not wanting to have to move all the way upstairs, Rian realized exactly what was going on.

"It's the guy we talked to at the wedding?" He checked just to make sure of what he already knew. When he got a nod in return he quickly wrapped Zack in a blanket and picked him up without a discussion.

Jack waited for them to get upstairs before he reopened the front door and grinned at Alex.

"Zack's in the guest room, you know where that is, yeah?"

"Y-yeah?" Alex was more than uneasy at the sudden switch in Jack's demeanor but he allowed himself to be ushered in nonetheless. Similar to a pirate ordered to walk the plank, he swallowed nervously and slowly crept down the dark hallway, encouraged only by the knowledge that Jack was right behind him. Everything in him screamed that this was a trap and when he heard footsteps that join Jack's, he knew it was game over.

"You didn't think it would be this easy, did you?" Jack shoved the singer when he reached for the doorknob of the downstairs guest room. "Practice room, Alex, we're gonna put that "whatever it takes" theory to test."

Jack flipped on the light of the lone soundproof room in his house and locked the door behind them. He watched Rian clear space and kept a tight grip on Alex's wrist to keep him from leaving.

"Wanna make sure you don't mess up any of my nice things," he casually announced as they watched Rian line guitars and amps against the far wall. As an afterthought he added, "Am I holding your wrist too tight?"

"No, it's fine," Alex lied.

Jack smiled and squeezed until he heard a stifled gasp.

"What was that, Alex?"

"N-nothing."

"There's my smart guy," Jack praised sarcastically. "Maybe if you're feeling smarter you can answer my question correctly and Rian and I can go to bed. Do you think you can do that?"

"I'm not leaving," Alex's confident words gave way to a pained yelp as he took the first punch of the night.

After that it seemed like the punches never stopped, he covered his face as best as he could and let his stomach and sides be bruised without mercy. His legs gave out faster than he expected and then he curled in on himself on the floor and waited for it to be over. He didn't bother begging them to stop or screaming for Zack to come get him, neither request would have been heard anyways. Instead he just took all the pain Jack and Rian could deal out until finally there was a break in the violence and he opened his swollen eyes in time to see Jack flipping the lights off as they filed out of the room.

When they were gone he rolled onto his back and finally allowed himself to cry as loud as he needed to. His sobs sent more pain radiating through him but he couldn't make them stop. Every inch of his body hurt worse than he'd ever felt before and topping it all off was the reinforced realization that Jack and Rian hated him on a deeper level than he could fully comprehend.

That thought remained on his mind until he finally cried himself to sleep half an hour later. His eyes slipped closed and his breathing evened out, his physical and emotional exhaustion keeping him sound asleep when Rian came down an hour later and carefully picked him up and carried him into Jack's guest room.

Rian carefully undressed the singer, using a wet washcloth to clean the dried blood from his face. When he was clean, Rian lifted him again and pulled back the covers to gently tuck him in before he left.