Too Late

Ex are ex for a reason, but sometimes even after breaking up you’re just drawn to a person, but you shouldn't go back. Some times you just have to keep trying until you can't do it anymore, but other times you just need to learn when to walk away.

Andi Windsor was born and raised in Colorado. She lived a completely normal life with her parents and brother, until she met Gabe Landeskog. Gabe was born and raised in Sweden. He lived their until he was sixteen when he moved to Canada by himself to play hockey. His life change completely when he was drafted in the NHL to play for Colorado in 2011. They had met through a mutual friend who kept telling them how much they would love each other. Gabe spent most of the night trying convince Andi he was actually Swedish because of his nonexistent accent, and at the end of the night convinced her to go on an actual date with him. After he had took her had taken her on three dates he asked her to be his girlfriend. She was his first serious girlfriend, he was never the type of guy that had a girlfriend he just tended to date around.

They were both eighteen and naïve, the first time they dated. They stayed together for a year and broke up when Gabe was on the road and made out with some random girl. She probably wouldn't of ever found out if his team mate Matt didn't force him to tell her. The second time they got together was little less then a year after their break up. It took him begging her for her to finally take him back and give their relationship another try. They stayed together for two years, and thing seemed good. It they weren't perfect by any means they fought like everything other couple, but Andi was caught completely off guard when Gabe ended things.

Gabe laid in his king size bed holding on to Andi, he felt if he let go o her she might disappear. He stared at her as her head rested on his chest and slowly she aimlessly drew circles on his stomach.

Biting his bottom lip he wondered how long she would stay in bed before she got up and left. He thought he had convince her to give their relationship another try but he wasn't sure. She kept telling him that they were the same people they were always going to be. He kept telling her that the both had changed for the better that they could work this time around.

He stayed silent just watching her, he knew if he spoke she might walk away.

“What are we doing here?” she whispered knowing that Gabe was awake and watching every movement she made.

He didn't know what she wanted to him to say, “I don't know.”

She continued drawing aimless circles on his tone stomach, “we shouldn't of slept together last night.”

His stomach dropped at the mention of her regretting their night together. He knew they shouldn't of slept together after attempting to try to talk out everything that had gone wrong in their relationship, but he just missed her so much.

“I want us to be together again,” he said wishing she would look up at him. “I’ve changed a lot and I'm ready to make this work.”

“You only want to get back together because you remember all the good times we had together, but you aren't thinking about every fight we had, and all the times I would leave crying,” she said as she continued to draw circles on his stomach.

He closed his eyes thinking back to when they were together. When things were good with them they were amazing, but when things were bad they were terrible. Both times they had dated things ended badly, and with Andi feeling broken hearted and swearing she wouldn't ever go back to him.

“I wanna believe you when say you changed, but we both know it's not true,” she let out a sigh. “We both know you’re the reason we can never last.”

He knew everything she was saying was true, he just wanted another chance, “please stay,” he whispered.

“Why you didn't last time?” It was obvious she was trying to hurt him.

“I was scared last time,” he said staring at her wishing she would look at him. “It felt like everything was happening so fast.”

“This can't happened again. You can't call me up and expect me to come over and act like nothing ever happened. I'm still trying to pick up the mess you made of my life in the end. You can't keep pushing me away and then randomly deciding you want to try again,” she finally lifted her body off his chest and laid on her side so she was looking at him. He could see the hurt in her eyes.

“I made a huge mistake,” he said reaching over lightly grab her hand.

Her eyes started to brim with tears, “you’re the one who ended our engagement not me.”

He felt as if her words slapped him in the face. Since the moment he broke off their engagement he had regretted it. He thought about it every single day and wished that he could go back and change what he had done.

“I wish I didn't,” he said as he watched her slowly crawled out of bed. “You’re leaving?” he sat up and watched her naked body pick up her clothes of the dark hard wood floor. “Babe don't go,” he reached down and grabbed his boxers that were on the floor next to the bed.

She turned around and faced him as she pulled her shirt on, “I'm not your babe anymore,” she snapped. “Gabe this is what you wanted, you’re the one who ended things. You were all I ever wanted, and being with you left me with nothing but a broken heart both times.”

He didn't know what to say to her, he knew this was a losing battle. There probably wasn't anything he could say to make her stay. He sat on the edge of his bed in nothing but his boxers watching her get dressed. He ran his fingers through his blonde hair wondering if this was really was the end.

“You don't have anything say?” she asked breaking the silence that had formed while she got dressed.

“I can't change your mind, what do you want me to say?” he sighed looking down at the ground.

“I don't know,” tears slid down her pale cheek. “I want you to justify to me why you left me. Tell me what changed all the sudden that you realized you didn't want to marry me,” she sat down on the edge of the large bed about a foot away from him.

He didn't say anything, he knew he owed her more of an explanation on why he ended their engagement. When he broke things off with her he had told her he was ending things because they were too young and needed chances to enjoy being young. Every time he thinks about their break up he can vividly remember the heart broken look on her face.

“Gabe please say something,” she said running her fingers through her short brunette hair. “Please tell me why you stopped loving me,” the tears started to fall harder down her cheek.

His heart ached at her saying he didn't love her, “I never stopped loving you. Andi I still love you, I’ll love you for the rest of my life,” he said looking over at her at as she stared at him intently.

“If you loved me you would of stayed. Everything could have been easy, all you had to do was stay,” she closed her eyes trying to stop the tears from falling.

“I almost kiss another girl,” he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. “I was at the bar the weekend I went back to Sweden, and this girl I knew before I moved to Canada was all over me. She kept telling me how if I didn't move away she would dated me in a second. She was telling me about how she always wanted to sleep with me and tried kiss me,” this was the first time he was admitting to her he almost cheated on her for the second time.

She tilted her head to the side caught off guard by everything he was saying. He had never told her what happened in Sweden. They were only together for about a week after that trip when he blindsided her with the break up.

“If you didn't cheat on me why did you break up with me?”

“Because I knew I cheated the first time, and I almost did for a second time. I knew you deserved someone who wasn't always going to be on the road and had a hard time keeping it in his pants.You don't deserve to be sitting around wondering if I'm going to cheat on you,” he bit his bottom lip knowing that he was ruining any chance they ever had with her. He let her know he struggle not to cheat on her.

She couldn't believe he ended things because of his temptation to cheat on her. “Was I ever good enough? I must of not been if you had to keep looking around at other girls?”

He looked at her and slowly reached over and brushed the tears off her cheek with his thumb and let out a sigh, ”you were never the problem it was always me.”

“I wish you would of stayed,” she whispered as he held her face with his large hand.

“I wish I would of too,” he whispered trying his hardest to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall.

“I need to go,” she said pulling away from him.

He watched her stand up and walked over to the door and slip her shoes on. She turned around and walked towards him slowly, he stood up and walked towards her wrapping his arms around her pulling him into his chest. He knew this was probably the last time he was going to get to hold her.

“If you ever decided to give me another chance, just know I’ll always love you,” he whispered before pressing his lips to the top of her head.

“We both need to move on,” she said pulling away from him.

He shook his head not wanting to move on and wishing that she would at least say she still loved him. Because he loved her enough for the both of them.

“Do you still love me?”

She hesitantly nodded her head. She couldn't bring herself to admit she still loved him because she was still hurt. She was trying to move on and he was making it impossible.

He knew she wasn't going to say it, so he took too large steps and closed the gap between them and connected his lips to hers. Knowing this was their last kiss so he needed to make it count. This kiss need to let her know that he loved her and was never going to stop loving her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close as he moved his lips against his. Their lips moved against each other as if they needed the other one to breath. His large hands held her face even closer to his. A gasp passed her lips as he ran his tongue along her bottom lip. Her brain was telling her to pull away from him while her body was betraying her. Their lips continued to move against each other and she hesitantly pulled away with tears sliding down her cheek. She knew they needed to stop even if her body didn't want to.

“I’ll never stop fighting for you,” he whispered as his large hand rested on her cheek.

“Goodbye Gabe,” she sighed stepping away from him.

“Goodbye Andi,” he said as he watched her walk out of his bedroom.

He took a deep breath as his bedroom door closed. He walked over to the edge of his bed realizing he watched his first love walk out of his life.